While Juliana got busy with the, uh… cleanup, I went back to reading Rexerd’s journals.
Up to this point, his journals had been a chaotic mess of half-baked theories, late-night philosophical ramblings, and whatever else spilled out of a mad genius’ brain at three in the morning.
Mixed in with the illogical drivel was his personal sob story.
Apparently, his fiancée left him for some prodigy Hunter a few years ago. So, he blamed the heavens for saddling him with low Soul Potential. Classic tragic backstory.
Around the same time, someone in his family died of Essence Poisoning.
He grieved. Understandably.
Then he started asking questions — the kind of questions that sound profound right up until you actually think about them.
Like, why are some people born with low Soul Potential, and others with the destiny to become humanity’s greatest?
Why does Essence kill some children and turn others into superhumans?
Stuff like that.
It was sad.
Not his ramblings. No.
What was sad was the way he ranted about the heavens being unfair, like he was writing a dramatic soliloquy for the role of a ‘tragic genius’ in his own autobiography.
Meanwhile, there was still no mention of the Alchemy of Souls. And he hadn’t even started his experiments yet. Not even the groundwork.
Honestly, I was getting so bored that I felt like I might actually go numb from mental inactivity.
But then — finally — in a journal dated three years ago, something shifted.
He started talking more about Origin Cards.
About how some chosen few humans were born with unique powers.
Suddenly, the tone of his writing changed as well. It became less vague nonsense, and more curious.
More focused. More purposeful.
For the first time, it felt like I was reading the thoughts of a man standing at the threshold of discovery.
And that’s when things actually started to get interesting.
I began flipping the pages with renewed interest.
•••
Entry #13 — The Origin of Origin Cards
“Every Awakened has a Card. We call it the Origin Card. A trivial name for something so profound.
But what is it, really?
From what scientists have observed over the many years, it can’t be learned. It can’t be inherited. It can’t be given. It can’t be extracted… at least not without shattering the soul of the person it belongs to.
But why specifically a Card? Why not something else?“
——-—
Entry #29 — Soul as Memory
“It is commonly believed that an Origin Card is the physical manifestation of a soul.
I don’t agree with that statement anymore.
I don’t clearly understand what a soul is.
But I believe the Origin Card is a mnemonic device. It is a soul’s most primal memory — the moment of pain, clarity, or desire that birthed one’s sense of self — etched into a repeatable, usable form.
Why a Card? Perhaps…
Because even the gods once gambled with fate.
According to the myth of the Nine Hands, the first immortals each drew a card from the Deck of Worlds.
They played a divine game that not only shaped their powers but also formed the worlds.
Whether truth or tale, it is a beautiful symbol — the soul wagers itself upon the world.
And the stronger the soul… the higher the stakes.“
——-—
Entry #34 — On Soul Compression
“The soul is the answer to all my questions.
If I can only understand what it is and how it works, I could get all the knowledge I desire.
Why are some people born with low potential?
Why does Essence poison some children?
Can we raise our potential? If the heavens define our worth, can we defy them?
Can we go against the will of the world?
Or are we destined to remain ignorant little pawns in a game we don’t even understand?
I don’t know. I must know.
But I won’t get any answers like this. I have to conduct experiments… human experiments.
The Academy won’t authorize it.
I must find a way.“
——-—
Entry #37 — A Way Forward
“I found a way.
There’s a covert organization. The Syndicate.
They approached me yesterday, offering me a position within their ranks. I have to do two things for them.
One, create a blueprint for a machine that could control the Spirit Beasts and condition their brains. I think I can do it. But the beasts have to be young and weak. Infant-grade.
Two, supply them with the formula for a cheap yet highly addictive drug. That won’t be a problem. Because the resin that’s left over during the creation of Mindscape Pill fits the condition. It’s both cheap and addictive.
In return, the Syndicate will fund my research and give me human test subjects.“
——-—
Entry #42 — Is This The Cost Of Moving Forward?
“I feel sick.
The Syndicate finally told me what they intend to do with what I gave them.
They’ll build refinement factories across Ishtara and flood the streets with Resin.
The drug will be cheap, addictive, and accessible to all.
In less than a year, the city will start rotting from the inside. Addicts will fill the alleys. Families will fracture. Law and order will collapse completely.
And once the people are hollowed out, they’ll begin the next phase.
The Syndicate will start taking the addicts. Quietly. Discreetly. No one will notice. No one will care.
The forgotten will simply disappear… some of them trafficked back to me.
My research… it was meant to elevate humanity. To understand the soul. To free us from the chains of fate.
But instead, it will condemn thousands.
And Ishtara — a war-torn city that had already endured so much — will become nothing more than a husk.
A corpse to be worn by the Syndicate, so they can further whatever ambitions they have in store.
I asked for resources. I asked for time. I asked for subjects.
They gave me everything I wanted.
So why does it feel like I just sold the world for a glimpse of the truth?
Is this… the cost of moving forward?“
——-—
Entry #53 — No Matter The Cost
“I’ve conducted several experiments over the past few months — all detailed in previous entries. All failures.
But not without merit.
For the first time, I believe I’m starting to grasp the structure of the soul — its layers, its function, its resistance.
But theory isn’t enough. I need more data.
More test subjects.
Not just mere humans. Awakened.
I need Awakened test subjects.
The Syndicate claims it’ll take time to acquire them without attracting attention. Understandable. After all, even C-rankers are a treasure to society. People notice their disappearance.
But I can’t afford to wait.
So I’ve made a decision.
I’ll proceed with a forced awakening. Use unawakened children as the base and artificially trigger the ascension process.
Most of them will die. I know that.
But if even one survives, I might finally validate the suspicions I’ve carried for years.
This is the only way forward now.
No more hesitation. No more pretending.
Progress demands blood. No matter the cost, I’ll pay it.“
——-—
Entry #58 — Essence Interaction Tests
“Injected refined Essence into two children and forced an awakening.
Subject A’s Origin Card cracked as soon as it manifested.
Subject B retained control… for a few seconds. Her Card moved on its own and shattered as well.
Both of them died.
Conclusion: Essence stimulates soul evolution. I was right. Strong physical or emotional ordeal does not cause awakening.
Trauma is merely a trigger. It’s not the cause.
Hypothesis: A forced awakening with stabilized conditions might allow intentional shaping of the Origin Card.“
——-—
Entry #60 — Origin As a Mirror
“I’m sure now.
Origin Cards are not tools. They are mirrors.
They show not just what we are, but what we could become.
I’ve begun wondering — if one were to change themselves down to their very core, would their Card change too?
I must try.
I must try.“
——-—
Entry #64 — What Truly Changes a Soul?
“I’ve been thinking about a question I asked a few days ago. If we change ourselves, would our Origin Card change too?
But that leads to another question.
What kind of change are we talking about?
Is it philosophical? Emotional? Spiritual?
If an Origin Card is bound to the soul, then it should, in theory, reflect our identity. Our self.
So if the self changes — if a person’s ego is reshaped — shouldn’t the Card evolve with it?
But that’s not what happens.
People change all the time. I’ve changed.
I wasn’t the same after my fiancée left me.
I wasn’t the same after my brother’s loss.
And I haven’t been the same since I started these experiments. I’ve done things.
Things I’m not proud of.
And yet… my Origin Card remained the same.
So what does that mean?
That I never changed?
That the man I became was always buried inside the man I thought I was?
Had I always been the monster I am today?
No. I don’t think so.
I did change. I became something else.
Which means — the soul doesn’t register philosophical or emotional growth. Or perhaps it ignores what it considers insufficient stimuli.
So then… what if the change must be deeper?
Not just mental. But biological.
Fundamental.
Could the soul respond to that?
Could I provoke a reaction if I altered the vessel that holds it?
Human transmutation is complex. Risky. But not impossible.
With the right resources, I could attempt it. Reshape the flesh. Shift the frame.
And study what happens to the soul within.
It might be a way forward.
If our soul is what we are… then maybe it needs to be rewritten in blood and bone.“