I had a much easier time falling asleep after comforting myself with those thoughts. It was peaceful and long. I didn't wake up until I started to hear stirrings in the room. Someone was here. I slowly opened my eyes to see Noah. Or more precisely, his back. He left the room with clothes in hand. He must have just gotten back from the game.
I closed my eyes and decided to rest my eyes until he came back.
I must have dozed off, because it felt like seconds had only passed by until I heard him come back. I sat up and found him pulling out his homework from his backpack.
He heard me moving and looked up. "Oh, did I wake you? Sorry." His eyes were slightly red like they've been rubbed or maybe even from crying.
I squinted at him. "Are you okay?"
He touched his eyes as if there were tears to wipe away. "Ah. This? I'm fine. Good."
I lifted an eyebrow.
"I...I didn't play well today..." He mumbled, hanging his head in depression.
"Oh. I'm sorry." I told him. "What was the score?"
"3-2." He mumbled under his breath.
"Oh. That's a close one." I said, getting up.
"Not close enough." He sighed. "It was 3-2. Them. They won. We lost at home. For the first time this season."
Ohhhh. That explains the crying. I was up, out of bed, so I went over to pat his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It's not your fault." He wiped his eyes again.
"Don't be lying!" Kyle yelled, making us jump. He pointed at me. "How dare you take a sick day! And in the middle of the week?! Have some shame!"
Shame? I tilted my head and thought about it. I guess it could be my fault then. I wasn't there. I didn't do anything to help...in fact I probably made things worse since I couldn't warn Coach ahead of time that I wasn't going to be there. I gulped.
"Stop that." Dave hit Kyle from behind, smacking him on the head. "Mom and Dad will ground you for life if they heard you." He looked into our room. "Don't listen to his crap, Jake. He's just mad that he couldn't do anything for the team either."
Kyle rubbed his head. "You didn't have to hit me. He knows I was just joking."
"No way. Jake takes everything seriously."
"What do you guys want?" Noah glared at them with his reddened eyes.
"Mom said dinner is almost ready so I was sent up here to wake Jake." Kyle said. "Wake Jake?" He laughed. "Hah! That rhymes!"
Noah rolled his eyes. "Okay. He's awake. Now get lost."
"Wow. So testy." Kyle shook his head and walked away.
Dave gave Noah a look. "It's just a game, Noah. You don't have to take that lost so hard."
Noah looked on, angry. "You can say that because you didn't play! You don't know what it's like to go hitless through four at-bats! I did nothing today. Do you understand?? I'm gonna have to go to school tomorrow and face the other freshmen, who think they're better than me."
Dave's eyes narrowed on his little brother. "It's not all about you, ya know. How do you think Sean will feel if he heard you? He also didn't get a hit in four at-bats. He's a first year varsity player as a sophomore. Do you think there aren't any other sophomores on jv who think they can do better than him?"
Noah looked at his feet. "I'm just—mad, okay?" He looked at me. "Not at you, Jake. Just at myself." He clenched his fist. "I need to get better."
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know that they would lose. "What did Zeke do?"
"He drove in both runs." Dave told me. "Zeke wasn't happy either though. He went 2-4. But with a loss...it just puts everyone in a bad mood."
I looked at him skeptically. "You don't look like you're in a bad mood..?"
Dave laughed. "I'm still not allowed to pitch, of course I'm in a bad mood." He lifted his hand with the injured finger. "It's looking good though. I'm going to ask Drew tomorrow if I can throw a light bullpen session. Just something to warmup the arm."
"Boysss!" I heard Mrs. Atkins call from the bottom of the stairs.
"We better get going." Noah said, wiping his face one more time. He walked out, then Dave and I followed. "Like Zeke said at the end of the game, we'll get them next time."
"Yea, but next time might even be harder." Dave sighed, putting his hands behind his head. "They didn't even put Brady on the mound. That's how confident they were."
"Who's Brady?" I asked as we made it downstairs.
"He's the best pitcher on Golden West." Noah told me without looking. "I think I told you before that they have someone who throws kind of funny. That's him."
Throws funny?
"His style is rare. He throws submarine." Dave elaborated. Except...his elaboration wasn't enough.
"You guys are talking about Brady?" Kyle asked, already seated at the table. "They're probably saving him."
We sat down.
"Saving who?" Mr. Atkins questioned as he took his seat as well. He looked at the empty seat between the twins. "Where's Zeke?"
"Here." Zeke walked in the dining room in a brisk manner. He took his seat, still dripping of sweat like he was working out.
"Ugh." Dave held his nose. "You couldn't take a shower first?"
"No, I wanted to put some more work in." Zeke said, eyeing the food that was already laid out.
Mrs. Atkins walked in the room with a bowl. Surprisingly, she brought it around to me, and set it down before me. "I made you some more soup just in case your stomach still felt pretty weak."
"Thanks." I picked up the spoon, already blowing on my first scoop.
She sat down and dinner commenced.
"So who is being saved again?" Mr. Atkins repeated.
"Oh, as I was saying, Golden West probably wants to save Brady for Servite. Coach said they play each other Saturday." Kyle said, loading up his plate with food.
"Does that mean they think we're weaker than Servite?" Noah asked.
Dave nodded. "At the very least, means that we have weaker hitting."
"Well with Brady pitching against them, it's likely to be a pitcher's duel. Almost like today." Kyle said. He stabbed his broccoli angrily. "If only Garret didn't give up that homerun."
"You can't say that." Dave said. "You've given up more homeruns than Garret throughout the season."
"I've never suffered a loss though." Kyle rebutted.
"Kyle." Mr. Atkins warned. "You're on the same team. His loss is your loss too. The same would be said if you lost too."
Kyle sighed. "Yea, I know."
"You boys will get a second chance." Mrs. Atkins said cheerfully. "It's only one loss. Won't put you out of the race just yet. Golden West or Servite will have a loss by Saturday too. And, you'll get to play Servite twice."
"Mom." The twins groaned in unison.
"What? What did I say?"
"You said we play Servite twice." Dave shook his head. "That's not a good thing."
"They have a whole team of good pitchers." Kyle added.
"You boys are good pitchers too." She told them.
The twins blushed a little and focused on eating.
Seeing that they had settled down, Mrs. Atkins turned to me. "Feeling better Jake?"
I nodded, mouth full of soup.
"Dr. Moore left after seeing you sleep so soundly." She told me, looking relieved. "I'm happy that you're doing better. Do you think you'll go to school tomorrow?"
I nodded again. I don't see why not. It was a one time thing. A panic attack turned into a nightmare from my own anxiety. He's not my brother.