Translated by K of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
“…” Wei WuXian, “Open your mouth.”
Lan WangJi held his head high, maintaining the cold gaze. Leaning forward slightly, he moved his teeth from the first knuckle to the second. He bit down even harder.
Wei WuXian, “Ow!”
Lan WangJi finally relaxed somewhat. Wei WuXian took this opportunity to pull his finger back and roll to the side. The bite made his hair rise. Anything that bit made him think of dogs, and his hair rose whenever he thought of dogs. Yet, before he was even able to roll far away enough, Lan WangJi tore Bichen out of its scabbard and stabbed it hard into the sitting mat, nailing a corner of Wei WuXian’s robe onto the ground.
Both of them changed into the clothes they were wearing currently at Lotus Pier. They were made of a special fabric and didn’t tear easily. Being held back by the corner of his robe, he couldn’t roll any farther, rambling, “Lan Zhan, look at you. You poked a hole in the inn’s floor and sitting mat. You’re gonna have to pay…”
Before he even finished his sentence, he felt someone seize the back of his collar and drag him back. Wei WuXian’s back collided hard with the person’s chest. Lan WangJi’s low voice immediately thundered beside his ear, “Pay!”
As he finished, he yanked Bichen from the ground as if he wanted to stab a few more times. Wei WuXian threw himself back and stopped him, “Stop! What’s wrong with you? Why are you like this after just a cup of wine? Look at what bad things you’re doing.”
His tone was reproachful. Lan WangJi looked at him, then at his hand, and then at the hole in the floor. As though he suddenly realized, he threw his sword away at once. Bichen crashed onto the ground with a dull ‘clang’ before it rolled away. Wei WuXian grabbed the sheath with his left hand and used his foot to kick it into the air. Steady and precise, Bichen plunged right into its sheath. He scolded, “Don’t throw such a dangerous thing around.”
Hearing this, Lan WangJi sat even more properly. He looked down, almost as if he knew he did wrong and was willing to improve. It had always been Lan WangJi who scolded him so seriously. Only after they drank was he able to turn the tables. Holding Bichen in his folded arms, Wei WuXian looked at him with a tilted head, trembling as he tried to hold back his laughter.
He genuinely loved the drunken Lan WangJi!
Now that he was drunk, Wei WuXian’s past dilemma had completely disappeared. It was as if all the wildness in him that had nowhere to go finally found an exit out of his body. Walking a few circles around Lan WangJi, who was still sitting all prim and proper, Wei WuXian turned around and sat down beside him, holding up his ragged robe for him to see, “Look at what you’ve done. You tore my clothes. You have to mend it up for me later, you know?”
Lan WangJi nodded. Wei WuXian, “Do you know how to mend clothes?”
Lan WangJi shook his head. Wei WuXian, “I knew it. Learn if you don’t know how. Either way you have to mend my clothes for me. You understand?”
Seeing that Lan WangJi nodded his head again, Wei WuXian took another sitting mat giddily and used it to cover the hole that Bichen made, now that nobody had discovered it yet, “I’ll hide the hole for you. This way, nobody will find out that you made a mess.”
Lan WangJi took out the dainty little money pouch from within his lapels and presented it to Wei WuXian, shaking it as he spoke, “Pay.”
Wei WuXian, “I know you’re loaded. Put it away, put it away…What are you doing?”
Lan WangJi stuffed the pouch into his arms. Wei WuXian felt the heavy pouch in front of his chest, “For me?”
After he stuffed the money pouch inside, Lan WangJi pulled Wei WuXian’s lapels up and even patted his chest a few times, as if scared he’d lose it, “Keep it.”
Wei WuXian, “You’re really giving it to me? There’s so much money.”
Lan WangJi, “Mn.”
The broke Wei WuXian expressed his gratitude, “Thanks, I’m rich now!”
However, Lan WangJi’s brows immediately furrowed. He reached into Wei WuXian’s lapels and took his pouch back out, “No!”
The money Wei WuXian just obtained was taken away again. He was surprised, “No what?”
Lan WangJi seemed both disappointed and restrained. He only shook his head quietly and put his money pouch away again in low spirits, appearing almost a bit sad.
Wei WuXian, “Didn’t you say you’d give it to me? Why are you not giving it to me anymore? Aren’t you a man of your word?”
Lan WangJi turned to the other side. Wei WuXian grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around, coaxing, “Look at me. Don’t run away. Come, come, look at me.”
And so Lan WangJi looked at him. Both of the two stared hard at each other’s face. They were too close, so close that he could even count Lan WangJi’s long eyelashes. Cold sandalwood and amorous wine—two aromas intertwined amid the unnoticeable breaths.
After a long while of staring, Wei WuXian’s heart beat faster and faster. He finally couldn’t take it any longer and retreated in defeat, the first to avert his gaze. He spoke, “Fine! You win. Let’s play another game. Just like before, I ask and you answer. You’re not allowed to lie…”
Yet, at just the word ‘play’, Lan WangJi suddenly responded, “Yes!”
He grabbed Wei WuXian’s hand and zipped out of their room like a gust of wind, rushing down the stairs. Befuddled, Wei WuXian was dragged down the main hall. On the first floor, the owner and her workers were eating around a long table. Lan WangJi didn’t spare them a single glance, focused on dragging Wei WuXian outside the doors.
The owner stood up, “What’s wrong? Young Masters, did the food not suit your taste?”
Wei WuXian managed to reply from amid the chaos, “It did! Especially the wine. It was strong indeed…” Before he finished his words, Lan WangJi had already dragged him out of the inn.
Even when they reached the streets, Lan WangJi still didn’t seem like he was going to stop. He continued to run.
Wei WuXian, “Just where do you want to go?”
Lan WangJi said nothing. As he arrived at the yard of somebody’s house, he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Wei WuXian was somewhat confused. Just as he was about to ask, Lan WangJi put a finger in front of his own lips, “Sh.” He reached out and wrapped his arm around Wei WuXian’s waist. With a kick, they leaped lightly onto the house’s roof. Bent over on the tiles, he whispered, “Look.”
Seeing how mysterious he was being, Wei WuXian felt a bit curious. He followed his dedicated gaze and saw a chicken coop inside the yard.
“…” Wei WuXian, “This is what you wanted me to look at?”
Lan WangJi whispered, “Go.”
Wei WuXian, “To do what?”
Lan WangJi had already leaped up and landed at the center of the yard.
If the owners of the house were awake right now, they’d think that an Immortal of the Heavens had landed on Earth, watching such a heavenly man float down, dressed in the moon-lit white robes. But the things Lan WangJi did didn’t seem Heavenly at all as he slowly searched around the yard. Wei WuXian felt more suspicious the more he looked. He hopped off the wall as well and tugged his forehead ribbon, “Just what do you want to do?”
Lan WangJi pressed his forehead ribbon with one hand and reached into the chicken coop with the other. The hens that were sleeping soundlessly inside immediately woke up, flapping their wings madly in attempt to escape. Lan WangJi’s gaze hardened. Like lightning, he caught the fattest one inside his hand.
Wei WuXian was shocked speechless.
The hen cooed unstoppably within Lan WangJi’s hands. In all seriousness, Lan WangJi put it into Wei WuXian’s arms. Wei WuXian, “What?”
Lan WangJi, “Chicken.”
Wei WuXian, “I know it’s a chicken. Why are you giving me a chicken?”
Lan WangJi’s said with a straight face, “For you.”
Wei WuXian, “For me… Fine.” It seemed like if he didn’t accept it, Lan WangJi was going to get mad again. Wei WuXian took the chicken, “Lan Zhan, do you know what you’re doing? The chicken has an owner. This is called stealing.”
If somebody were to find out that the prominent HanGuang-Jun tried to steal somebody else’s chicken after he was drunk… It was beyond imagination.
But at this time, Lan WangJi only listened to the things he liked. Those he didn’t like, he’d pretend like he didn’t hear anything. He continued to busy himself with the work at hand. From inside of the chicken coop came ‘clucks’ and ‘coos’, eggs and feathers flying everywhere. It was unbearable to the ear.
Wei WuXian, “I wasn’t the one who told you to do this.”
Both of the two had a trembling hen in their arms when they flipped back over the wall. After walking for some time, Wei WuXian was still confused as to why Lan WangJi suddenly wanted to steal chicken. Could it be he wanted to eat them? Suddenly, he saw that a feather was stuck to Lan WangJi’s dark hair.
With a ‘pft’, Wei WuXian wasn’t able to watch this any longer. Just as he was about to take it off for him, Lan WangJi turned around again and leaped onto a tree.
The tree was inside someone else’s yard. It grew too well, and the branches reached outside the yard’s wall. Lan WangJi was sitting right on one of the branches. Wei WuXian looked up, “What’s wrong, this time???”
Lan WangJi looked down, “Sh.”
Hearing this, Wei WuXian suspected that what he was going to do was probably of similar nature as stealing chicken. He watched Lan WangJi reach out, pick something off the branch, and toss it down to him. Wei WuXian held the hen in one hand and caught it with his other. He took it back and looked. It was a big, round jujube, still half-green.
As expected. After he stole chicken, he was now stealing jujubes!
Things like stealing chicken and jujubes weren’t unfamiliar to Wei WuXian. In fact, he used to love such activities when he was young. He always did them with a large gang, making up a big ruckus every time. But if his partner in crime was switched with Lan WangJi, it’d be a bit too terrifying. No, they weren’t partners in crime. Lan WangJi was obviously the mastermind here.
At this point, something suddenly flashed across his mind.
Back at Lotus Pier, he took Lan WangJi to see where he grew up in Yunmeng and told him a lot of interesting stories that happened when he was young. Out of those, there were many ‘feats of glory’ like this one. Could it be that Lan WangJi bore them in mind after he heard them and wanted to experience them as well deep down?
It was very possible!
The GusuLan Sect was extremely disciplining. Lan WangJi was locked up in his room to read and write ever since he was young. Every word, every act was said and done according to his seniors’ standards. He’d never fooled around so disruptively before. He wasn’t able to do such things when he was awake, so he did them when he was drunk?
On the jujube tree, Lan WangJi struck like a tornado. Just a while later, and all of the jujubes on the tree had been completely picked off. Only after he put them all into his qiankun sleeve did he jump off the tree and open up his sleeve, showing Wei WuXian his ‘spoils of war’. Staring at all these round jujubes, Wei WuXian was at a complete loss as to what to say.
A moment later, he praised, “… They’re so big, there are so many, you’re so cool! Well done!”