"Fuck me with a side of peanut butter," I shouted, cursing with dismay recalling my demise. Who would have thought that one of the world's greatest minds of the twenty-first century would die in such a pathetic way?
The slap of the truck against my tender flesh, the sounds of my bones shattering, the loud, obnoxious honking of the truck all flooded my mind as I gazed up at the massive sign in front of me.
"Why me! NOOOOOO!" I questioned, howling with grief.
Imaginary tears flooded my eyes as I thought of my fucked up end, "I didn't even get to delete my history...not to mention empty my refrigerator...I just went hunting too...Well, I guess it doesn't matter if they find out since I'm dead."
Moping, my mind finally awakened as I situated myself enough to actually read the massive sign before me.
"Welcome to the Truck-kun Foundation,"
"....Is this some joke," I thought, looking around at the empty void around me. Nothing but darkness graced me as I shouted, "Hello!!! is anyone here,"
Arching my brow, my mind began to ponder over the fact there was no echo. I waited a few minutes before walking past the sign. Only to be surprised as I appeared within a massive chamber, reminding me of a courtroom I saw on television.
With widen eyes, I gasped aloud in fear as I looked up at the massive entity resting in front of the courtroom's bench. A chill flooded my form as I peered upon the monster.
"K-K-K-King Yama," I shouted in panic, gazing at the massive red monster.
"Damn it! Another Otaku, why are all of you being murdered by trucks? Should it not be from masturbating," he shouted angrily, slamming his massive fist on the court bench.
Groaning with Impatience, the red monster rubbed his chin before palming his face, "I need a vacation...anyway, welcome to The Truck-Kun Foundation, the universes greatest killer, I am here to help you transmigrate, blah blah blah."
Trembling, I didn't dare to speak as I stared at the monster that looked like King Yama, who kept on speaking in a monotone accent, "You will be given two wishes while retaining your memories. The wishes must not be excessive like a godly system or a god weapon... you're a nerd, so you should know what I'm talking about, correct?"
Quickly shaking my head, I lowered my eyes, not daring to meet his monstrous gaze. Many thoughts flooded my mind as I looked down, trying to figure out what was happening.
'the hell is going on, dammit. Is Vegeta going to show up next? An what the hell is this universe's greatest killer shit.'
"Let's see your name is...."
A deep silence permeated the courtroom, causing me to shake as I glanced up. In his hand was a small black book with the words "Death Records" written over it.
BOOOM!!!
Slamming the book closed, the monster eyed me fiercely, "What the fuck as a murderer like you doing here. You bastard, I should toss you into the fiery pits of the abyss." He howled with fury.
Realizing that he probably read my history, I accidentally giggled, causing him to roar with greater anger, "Is this a game to you-you-you devoured people...you murdered even kids, you sick bastard."
Snorting, I gathered my courage before raising my head high, my voice carrying a hint of pride, "So what, have you ever tried it...Let me ask you, have you ever had sex."
A bewildered expression hung on his rugged appearance as he absentmindedly nodded. A slight smirk crossed my face as I declared, "then have you ate ass,"
"WHAT," He balled in panic, shivering like a guilty man on trial. My mind flashed, noticing how innocent this demon was.
"HAHA, you call me disgusting, but it appears you were sucking ass, now that is truly disgusting. I don't judge, but if you ask me, I will stick to cannibalism."
"THAT NOT A FAIR COMPARISON, YOU LITTLE SHIT,"
Clenching his fist, the monster rose as space around me began to distort like a heated mirage. Panic and fear quickly filled my mind as I suddenly saw a massive demon standing in front of me with a scowl on his face, his crimson eyes glimmering in the light.
"In all my life, never had a mortal...no a human mortal dared to speak to me in such a manner," Raising his hand, I saw my life flash before my eyes...again, causing me to realize I'm going to die again.
Clenching my eyes shut, I suddenly heard a soft, childlike voice angrily echo out, "Flama-chan, how dare you try to take away my prize. He is mine till he transmigrates."
Slowly opening my eyes, I stared at the little loli with her arms on her hips pouting. She had long evergreen hair that hung to her feet and deep emerald-colored eyes. Her perfectly symmetrical face was scrunched up into a cute pout as she eyed Flama angrily or what seemed angry to her at least.
Like a dog who was scolded, Flama shivered before dropping to one knee, "I beg your forgiveness, your majesty. But-but my lord, this 'thing' should not be here. He doesn't fit any of the criteria."
"Bha, who cares? Truck-sama personally killed him, so he will be transmigrating like the others. Form the contract dumb-dumb Flama." she defended with a delightful glare.
"Yes, Lady, Truck-Sama,"
Grinning triumphantly, I saw the small loli gaze at me with interest. She made a small victory symbol before disappearing. Not really understanding what was happening, I stared at Flama, hoping he could explain.
"Umm, can you explain what is going on?" I asked, entirely confused.
Glaring at me, Flama grunted before commanding in a cold tone, "You will be transmigrated, pick your two wishes?"
Frowning, I repeated myself in a colder tone, "What is going on," while I was terrified, I was no child; no one had ever lived to speak to me in such a manner.
Flama's eyes began to glow with crimson light matching his skin as he released a feral growl. Clenching his fist, he exhaled furiously, "You will be transmigrated into a cultivation world unless you decide you want to visit somewhere else. As for the wishes, they must be within reason; Our organization is an organization that kills people; usually, otaku's as you call it, and have them transmigrate granting some wishes."
"But it doesn't come free; in order to be granted these wishes, we ask that in case of an emergency and only an emergency, you must side with us. While this has never happened before, our Lord has decreed that is the price." Flama bitterly explained.
Having a better understanding of what was going on, I smiled inwardly. A jittery feeling engulfed my body as I could not help but imagine all the different things I read about in the past.
Trying to mask my hidden excitement, I eyed Flama, who was starting to look like the most beautiful woman in the world, "Flama, darling, I'm sooooo sorry for how I acted. How about we call it a truce."
"Don't try to play me, fucker, just tell me your damn wishes so I can send you away," Flama shouted, trying to hide the black spots appearing on his cheeks.
'is he embarrassed?...didn't realize demons could blush and that it would appear as black spots.' I thought before going silent. Recalling everything I read thought-out my lifetime.
"Give me the highest comprehension you can possibly give," I asked, gazing at Flama, who had what a startled expression. I knew that the comprehension would not be the greatest in the universe, but even if I was a genius by human standards. I was sure that I was average in the cultivation world.
"And...give... let's see...how about a highly adaptive body. Something that allows me to accept different types of energy without dying. Something stronger than a human body but still retains its talent...is that acceptable?"
Flama didn't say anything as he stared coldly at me. I could feel something steering deep within me, causing me to shiver like a child. I did not dare take my eyes off of Flama.
"Your first request is accepted, but the second request is different, but her lordship has agreed," Flama stated, snapping his large monstrous fingers.
Before I could even speak, a loud burst sounded from within me. Screaming aloud in agony, a wailed for what seemed like days echoed out. I tried to clench my head, but the pain kept on increasing. I wanted to beg, but no words sounded, I wanted to die, but no end came, why! Why! Why!
"KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME!" I howled like a savage beast being tortured. Like knives and fire stabbing my brain, I cried. Repeatedly shouting for death until I noticed something aside from the living hell I was experiencing. I was staring down at myself...or what seemed like me. Hundreds of theories filled my mind as I studied myself.
I had no human form but was rather a snow-white flame that hovered over the floor. Flama sent me a nodded before waving his hand, causing my mind to go dark.
The last thing that registered within my soul was Flama's cold murmur, "for her ladyship to pick a monster as her champion, Blasphemy."