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I Shall Cuck Everyone

I Shall Cuck Everyone

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Chapter 59

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Slandering my daughter for stealing, I, the Drunken Swordsman, will open the sky with one sword

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Chapter 59

Right now, I’m inside Mrs. Jack’s house. This is not my first time coming to Barry’s house.

Their house is pretty average and it is as well equipped as every other household without any exotic or extravagant appliances. The reason why I don’t visit Barry’s house too often is that he’s always too scared to come to my house because of Aurora. He feels that she is too cold but he doesn’t know about her being a tsundere.

The same goes for Tony, I don’t really visit his house because his little sister has tried to seduce me on many occasions. Well, his sister should be around 16 years of age or almost 17 years, since Tony is older than me by a year and a half.

The only person with a carefree attitude that often comes to my house is Zach. Aurora is more jovial and nice to Zach compared to the rest of my friends because he’s always straightforward. The same goes for me, I always visit his house very often to play video games or watch the latest series of our favorite porn actress.

“Ahem, Jake…. I’ll go to the washroom, go and meet Barry in his room. I haven’t even seen him step outside today. He’s such a lazy child, I’ve been doing all his laundry since morning and washing off his nasty jizz.” Mrs. Jack tells me while her voice trails away as she complains about Barry’s laziness.

“Mmm, let’s go check on that blockhead.”

I mutter and begin to make my way towards his room. Their house is a simple four-bedroom flat but only two rooms are being used. The reason for this is that Barry is the only child of his parents so he took one room while his dad and mom shares only one room, which leaves the other two rooms vacant.

I walk past their dining room and make a right turn towards Barry’s room. In the next moment, I arrive at Barry’s doorstep and stretch my hand forward to turn his doorknob since his door is just a simple wooden door.

I grab the knob and open the doo–

“Aargh!! You pervert!!” I scream in disgust and instantly close the door.

“You could have just knocked on the fucking door, you loser!!!” Barry also yells from within his room.

“It’s not my fault, you bastard! You could have used the fucking bathroom!!” I retort.

“This my fucking room, I can freaking do anything I want! You can’t tell me what to do or where to do it!” Barry yells back.

*Silence ensues*

So, what happened precisely is that when I opened the door to Barry’s room, I saw him sitting in front of his computer, watching porn. And he had his right hand on his penis, as he fapped to the video.

It’s just so disgusting seeing another guy masturbating to a video. If it had been a girl, I wouldn’t mind. But a dude? Yuk!

After some time, I hear Barry’s voice again from within.

“You can come in now.” He informs me.

I grab the doorknob and turn it again, finally entering his room.

The moment I step my foot inside, a putrid odor wafts into my nose. I shake my head as I realize the reason why his mom had been complaining and why she had used the word “Jizz”.

“You could have knocked on the fucking door, idiot!” Barry says again as soon as he sees me.

Well, we always use swear words with each other, so we see it as a norm.

“Let it slide… I’ll pretend I never saw that.” I give him a reply and sit down on the small comfy chair in the corner of his room.

“Fine…” He replies in defeat.

Barry is a tall, fat guy with the same height as me. He has a very rough and unkempt blonde hair. His head is relatively large and his eyeballs are as huge as an egg. His cheekbones also look a bit out of shape, giving him an overly matured look. Although he is the smartest among us, there is no doubt that the “ugly guy” trophy belongs to him. And finally, he wears odd glasses that always gives him a nerdy look.

The only similarity between him and his mom is that they both have blonde hair. Every other thing about him, he got from his father.

“How are you doing man?” He asks as he drops his headphone beside his computer. “This visit is unexpected…” He adds as he walks forward and sits down on his bed.

His room is just an average teenager’s room with lots of odd-looking wallpapers, and a lot of female stickers here and there. There is also an overly large layout for his outdated non-holographic gaming PC that generates quite a lot of heat.

“Well I was bored, so I decided to come and visit you.” I lie through my teeth.

Of course, I came to fuck his milfy mom. After all her gorilla husband barely even cares about her, since he rarely comes home.

“But still, you should have called. And where the hell did you go yesterday? We were fucking worried and your number wasn’t going through. Your sister was also here looking for you. I nearly pissed myself when I saw her.” Barry says with a sigh.

“Oh, that? Well, it wasn’t that big a deal, I fell sick yesterday, so I had to visit the school clinic…”

“Do vampires even get sick?” Barry asks and gives me a suspicious look.

It was at this moment, that I knew I fucked up. Fortunately, Barry didn’t probe into my lie.

“Hey man, I have good news for you!” Barry says in excitement as he taps his wristwatch, causing his computer to display the photo of a mature elf woman.

“What’s this?” I ask…

“Ahh, idiot! That’s Alice Gunner! I was watching her latest premium video earlier!” Barry tells me.

“Ahh, I remember now… Alice Gunner, our favorite porn actress. How much did you pay for her premium video?”

“$100…”

“What! You could even get a clean babe to fuck with that amount!” I bellow in shock. Who the hell pays 100 bucks for a single porn video with a very short duration? I mean, there are tons of her videos on pirate sites.

“Jokes on you, loser! I’ll soon pop my cherry, just you wait and see….” Barry speaks while his eyes gleam and sparkle.

“Oh, tell me about it….”

“You see… I asked Blair out. And you know what? She said she’s going to give me a reply today. I am waiting for her text, woohoo!” He grins maniacally.

No way, Tony’s sister doesn’t like you. Don’t worry, Imma console you when you get rejected. I think inwardly.

“Who is the loser now? News about your breakup with Zella has spread throughout the school, and now you don’t have a girlfriend… I’ll show off Blair and make you feel bad. Fufufu.” Barry brags again.

“Wait, how did news about our breakup spread?” I ask in surprise.

“Oh, she was found crying profusely, and the other girls immediately knew what happened since you left with her a few minutes earlier,” Barry replies with a shrug.

[Enough, chit-chat. Let’s get to the next phase. Find a way to distract this pig so that we can get to his mom.]

The system’s words suddenly flash before my eyes.

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