Chapter 49 Don’t you ask me... where is he now? "At that time, everyone advised me to beat you up, move to a place where no one knows you, and start over."
Jiang Xiaoping lowered her head and took a puff from the electronic cigarette. She exhaled a trembling breath in the smoke and continued, "I'm not reluctant to let go. I won't lie to you. I was too young at the time and didn't really care much about my children. ...how many concepts, mainly because I can’t swallow the feeling of being useless.”
"I will give birth to this child, raise him up, and let those people see if he is Zhao Qinan's son and who is lying!"
18-year-old Jiang Xiaoping refused to listen at all. Everyone thought she was crazy. Liang Xiujing even made her seriously ill from anger.
Jiang Xiaoping's desperate move naturally frightened Zhao Qinan. Seeing Jiang Xiaoping's belly getting bigger and bigger, he couldn't hold it back anymore and sneakily came to admit his mistake.
"He said that as long as I beat you up, he would give me 100 yuan every month until he retires. It would be regarded as compensation for the loss of my youth."
Jiang Xiaoping noticed Jiang He's disdainful look, "You think it's less? In the 90s, 100 yuan was a lot, and my salary at that time was less than 200 yuan. He spent a lot of money! But I didn't agree. , I felt like I was "hardened by the weight" and made up my mind to let him be ruined like me."
Of course she didn't succeed.
Zhao Qinan was a coward, and he quickly invited himself to the Wuhan branch. The old factory director at that time originally wanted him to take over, but he was completely ruining his future by doing so.
At that time, Jiang Xiaoping foolishly thought that Zhao Qinan's family had fled with their tails between their legs, and that they had admitted to cheating on themselves. However, she did not expect that everyone unanimously agreed that she was responsible for the "innocent" Deputy Zhao. The director of the factory forced her to leave, so naturally she committed "serious sins". Not only did she have people poke her spine and spit on her while walking on the street, but some even threw bricks into her yard in the middle of the night.
"The glass at home has been smashed five or six times in less than two months. There is a scar on your grandma's arm from that time. It was cut by broken glass. For a long time, there was no glass on the windows at home. I just put a plastic sheet on it. At that time, I felt that living like that was all caused by you, so I really hated you..."
Jiang Xiaoping glanced at Jiang He apologetically, tears welling up in her eyes, "I still thought that we two would die together. Living is pretty boring anyway."
Jiang He stuffed Jiang Xiaoping with two tissues, and Jiang Xiaoping held them in her hands and rubbed her nose vigorously, "But your grandma found out and scolded me severely, saying that I was bullying the weak and afraid of the strong, and that I was not responsible." You are not worthy of being a mother."
"Your grandma is right. I...I am indeed not worthy of being your mother. I'm sorry, He'er, I..."
Jiang Xiaoping's voice was choked in her throat, and she couldn't say a word. Instead, tears rushed down. She wiped it with a tissue randomly, smearing her eye makeup, "You...you scolded me on the day you were discharged from the hospital." I'm right in scolding you, I'm just unqualified, you... you don't like me as a mother, it's perfectly normal."
Jiang He didn't say anything. She took out a few more tissues and began to wipe her mother's tears. She felt a little withdrawn at the moment. Jiang Xiaoping, who was crying in front of her, was no longer successful in her career, still charming, and easily dating despite the age difference. The proprietress of the bathing center who has a boyfriend of over 20 years old is the innocent 18-year-old female worker who was raped and abandoned, and was driven into a dead end by everyone's scorn and contempt.
She was frightened, resentful, angry, and at a loss. She pointed a thousand fingers at her, but she didn't even have the possibility or reason to talk back.
And her own existence is the biggest scar on her body. Everyone is peeping at, teasing, scorning, and scorning with a smile, but Jiang Xiaoping can't even cover it up, and can only look at the scar helplessly. The healed ground festers forever.
It was perfectly normal for her to abandon herself and run away, it was just out of survival instinct.
Jiang He now looks at the 32-year-old Jiang Xiaoping after 18 years. She is not only a neglected, angry, and abandoned daughter, but also a woman. Although the times are different, she understands Jiang Xiaoping's pain.
"...Do I look a bit like...that...that person named Zhao?" Jiang He suddenly asked. She really couldn't admit that the shameless bastard was her Xiaoping's eyes widened in surprise, and she forgot to shed tears, "You...how did you know?"
"Just say that, right?" Old God Jiang He looked at Jiang Xiaoping.
"The chin and mouth...are a bit similar. In fact, you looked very much like him for a while when you were a child."
Jiang Xiaoping still remembers the impact that 8-year-old Jiang He had on her when she returned home after eight years. Under the dim light of a low-wattage light bulb, Jiang He looked 10% to [-]% similar to Zhao Qinan. , at that moment, her disgust and hatred for Zhao Qinan seemed to be out of control, reflected on Jiang He, and the long-term longing for him was instantly torn to pieces.
For quite a long time, Jiang Xiaoping has been trying to fight against this anger, but to no avail. She loves Jiang He, but also hates her.
It wasn't until Jiang He actually lived with her that Jiang Xiaoping realized that Jiang He was completely different from that bastard.
She is her daughter, the best daughter she has let down.
"...Did you see it?" Jiang Xiaoping realized this belatedly and asked a little guiltily.
"Huh!" Jiang He snorted with no meaning, neither confirming nor denying. She got up from the carpet, sat on the edge of the bed and lay back, then lazily patted her side. Jiang Xiaoping couldn't help but He laughed, grabbed a pillow, and lay down too.
"Speaking of which, why don't you ask me...where is he now? I thought you would want to see him or something."
Jiang Xiaoping and Jiang He lay side by side for a while. She threw her pillows upward one after another and suddenly asked, Jiang He shook his head in disgust, as if he was afraid of getting dirty, "I'm not interested in knowing at all."
She wasn't going to stage some nasty drama of father-daughter recognition with an old bastard who was suspected of raping Jiang Xiaoping. It wasn't disgusting enough!
"That's good." Jiang Xiaoping was obviously relieved. When Jiang He thought her mother was happy because she was on her side, Jiang Xiaoping added a sentence as if nothing had happened.
"The main reason is that he has been dead for almost 10 years, and you can't see him again even if you want to... But if you want, you can visit his grave. I know where he is buried."
"...Ah? He's dead!" Jiang He sat up in disbelief. The pillow thrown up by Jiang Xiaoping hit her head. Jiang He conveniently held it in his arms, "When did you die? How did you die?"
Although Jiang He didn't care about her biological father, it was still a surprise to her that he died.
After all, death means there are no other possibilities.
(End of this chapter)
