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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 323: 1 serious nonsense

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Chapter 323: 1 serious nonsense

The starting point where Qi Long was located was quite remote, and he didn't see anyone after walking for a long time. Crosstalk performers are most afraid of awkward atmospheres, especially when recording a show. Qi Long always likes to say something to ensure the weight of the show, so he started communicating with the dog. Unexpectedly, the dog also had a great effect on the show. Qi Long ignored him when he spoke to him, and instead looked at him with contempt. The photographers and group directors who were following the scene, including the police dog trainer, all laughed out loud. He walked to the entrance of the park and saw the street view map at the entrance. Qi Long took a look and found that there was a subway station nearby. He was about to go over when he realized what was happening. "No, no, you can't get on the subway" The police dog brother looked at him again and walked towards the subway station. Seeing that he was being disliked again, Qi Long quickly explained: "I know police dogs can be used, but that is only when you are on duty. You are going out to earn extra money now, which does not count as being on duty." The police dog brother stopped, turned around and nodded at Qi Long, indicating his agreement. "Hey, if you could understand me you ignored me just now!" Qi Long put one hand on his waist and looked depressed. The police dog brother turned his head away from him again, his eyes full of speechlessness. "Hahahahahaha" everyone laughed again.

Qi Long tried to make excuses for himself: "Did you see that? Excellent crosstalk artists and dogs can both perform crosstalk. From now on, when Dongqiang has something to do, I will tie a dog to help him do the work!" Although they were arguing with each other, they had actually already thought of some ideas in their minds. They could go to the place where they had established memories with everyone in the first season. In the first season of the show, several episodes were recorded in Shanghai. He began to analyze in front of the camera: "For Yixing and Honglei, they might go to the place where the KFC incident happened, or it might be the old dock where the two reconciled." "As for Brother Bo, he might go to the mountain climbing park at the beginning of the first season. Brother Xun will probably do the same." "As for Xiaozhu, you can't use the phone in the fugitive special. He took me to his makeup artist friend. I guess he will go to him for help again if he doesn't have a phone this time." Qi Long, who was analyzing casually, did not notice how shocked the staff who followed him were when they saw the news in the group. Except for Wang Xun who was still running around in his opening venue like a headless fly, everyone else was proceeding according to Qi Long's speculation. Qi Long, who always guesses the program team’s design, is back again. He not only guessed the program team’s design, but also guessed the members’ thoughts. At the same time, Qi Long met an enthusiastic passerby friend who originally just wanted to borrow his phone to send a Weibo and tag everyone, asking them to gather at the old pier. As a result, the enthusiastic brother asked him how to get there. When he learned that Qi Long didn't have a way yet, he ran into the park and drove out in his own car to take Qi Long there. "Thank you so much, Police Dog Brother. We don't have to leave anymore!" Qi Long thanked his brother while holding the dog. The police dog was also very human-like and lowered its head as if bowing to express its gratitude. After getting in the car, Qi Long still thanked him, but the enthusiastic brother waved his hand and said, "It's okay, it's okay. I really like watching your variety shows and listening to your crosstalk!" Most people say this out of politeness, but this guy is really a fan of crosstalk. He opened his mouth and said, "I listened to the Journey to the West that you performed in the small theater a few days ago. The part about Snow White was so funny!" As soon as Qi Long heard it, he knew which part he was talking about. In this performance, there was a twisted paragraph. Before starting the main performance of Journey to the West, Qi Long showed off his identity as a novel researcher, and then mixed together a bunch of irrelevant things. After hearing what his master said, Qi Long opened his mouth and said: "Yes, it's said that the king had a very beautiful daughter, who was very white and named Snow White. Her stepmother couldn't stand her so she threw her into the boiler room and smoked her into Cinderella!" The enthusiastic elder brother smiled and said, "Yes, yes, that's the part. Then Cinderella looked in the mirror and saw that her face was so dark. She started crying. When she was crying, her tears turned into pearls and fell into the water. Then a river god came and asked, "Is this golden axe yours?" This is a string of several well-known fairy tales. For this kind of nonsense performance, he must choose stories that most of the audience know, so that everyone will be curious when listening to it, and then he can make up some other stories to string them together! The fairy tale from Snow White to Cinderella and then to throwing an axe into the river is not over yet. The river god gave the princess a frog and said that this was the frog prince and that she could turn into a handsome prince with just a kiss. Before the princess could kiss the frog, a toad jumped out, swallowed the frog in one gulp, then turned into a dragon and carried the princess away.

The king, wearing the emperor's new clothes, was parading and he sneezed because of the cold. In order to make himself less embarrassed, he issued an order that his daughter was missing and he summoned warriors from all over the country to rescue her! "Seven dwarfs in the mountains heard the news. Seeing their grandfather working hard for the family, the seven dwarfs decided to earn some bounty to supplement their family income: Grandpa, Grandpa, let's go out and earn money!" "Why did your Calabash Brothers come out too?" The driver listened to Qi Long's retelling and also mentioned Dong Qiang's words. "Seven calabash brothers set out on a journey to find the princess, and they found the Seven Fairies bathing by the river. Their clothes had been stolen by hooligans. The calabash brothers beat the enemy away and returned the clothes. They discovered that the color of the Seven Fairies' clothes was exactly the same as the color of their calabashes. The two sides looked at each other." The master still remembered: "What's wrong?" Qi Long starts singing: [The pain of being obsessed with all love] He sang the theme song of that classic TV series about family ethics and a bit of melodrama. When he sang it, the scene exploded and the whole audience burst into laughter. What happened? The Seventh Fairy is the mother of the seven gourd babies. The children asked who their father was. The Seventh Fairy told them, "You can turn into stone, right? Your father can also turn into stone, and he jumped out of the stone. He will come to save you on a colorful cloud." The crosstalk in small theaters is often more explicit, so this is a big joke: "The Seventh Fairy's husband is Sun Wukong?" "Yes!" "When did it happen?" "Isn't he frozen in Taoyuan? Haven't you been playing games recently? Use the immobilization spell, and quickly grab the Ruyi Jingu Bang to kill the monsters!" At the end of the story, the Calabash Brothers were defeated by the evil dragon, and their father Sun Wukong appeared and defeated the dragon. It turned out that the princess had married the dragon and gave birth to a child named Xiaolongnu. This Xiaolongnu later adopted Yang Guo and became the famous Condor Heroes! After this part, Dong Qiang said that he had learned a lot of knowledge, and Qi Long then said that he had studied Journey to the West thoroughly, which can be heard from the Monkey King's conquest of the Seven Fairies just now? The two began to talk about Journey to the West in a wrong way! The driver who was eager to give Qi Long a ride loved to listen, so Qi Long reviewed the story for him as a thank you for giving him a ride. The police dog lay motionless at the feet of the back seat, obviously not interested in their topic. "This is a dog that has gotten rid of vulgar tastes!" Qi Long said with a smile as he looked at the listless police dog. The dog raised its eyelids, looked at him, and lay down again. When they arrived at the opening park, Qi Long said goodbye to the enthusiastic brother, and sat on a bench in the large square in front of the mountain of the park with the police dog brother, waiting. At this time, a little girl ran over and shouted excitedly: "Dog, dog!" During the recording of "Extreme Men's Group", seat belts are rarely used to prevent passers-by from approaching the guests, which means that the program effects are often brought about by passers-by. At this time, the little girl was obviously a girl who loved dogs very much. She was not afraid when she saw such a big dog and ran up. The police dog brother changed his previous laziness, sat up quickly and looked at the little girl seriously. "Shake hands!" The police dog brother raised his hand and placed it on the girl's hand, but his eyes did not look at the little girl. Instead, he looked around as if he was looking for something. At this time, an adult came running up, and the police dog brother immediately stood up from his sitting position and glared at the adult who was running over. "I told you not to run around, why are you running again? I went to buy some water and when I turned around, you were gone!" the adult complained. The little girl pointed at the police dog and said, "Daddy, Daddy, I saw a dog!" As soon as these words were spoken, Police Dog Brother sat down directly, no longer with a vigilant look. "Wow!" Qi Long was surprised: "Are you worried that the little girl will get lost alone? That's amazing!" "Haha, police dogs are different!" The adult who picked up the child laughed, then was stunned: "You are the one on TV, the one in the variety show." "Gao Dongqiang!" Qi Long joked. The man waved his hands: "Don't lie to me, Gao Dongqiang is the muscular man, and you are the one playing with the water gun, right, right, Qi Long!"

"Hahaha, hello!" "Oh, are you guys recording a show? I just saw Huang Bo!" Qi Long stood up immediately: "Where?" The other party pointed to the mountain, and Qi Long immediately ran there with the police dog brother, and soon met Huang Bai who was coming down the mountain halfway up the mountain. "Brother Bo!" "Qi Long!" "Hahahahahaha!" The two brothers hugged each other enthusiastically. The dog that Huang Bai was holding pounced on Qi Long's police dog. The police dog jumped and pushed the bull terrier away with his two paws. Then they glared at each other. The bull terrier silently retreated behind Huang Bai. Qi Long laughed when he saw the bull terrier: "Hey, Brother Honglei is here too?" "Hahaha, when I received this dog, I also thought it looked very much like Sun Honglei!" Huang Bai laughed. It seemed that everyone had the same idea. Only then did Qi Long ask him, "Why did you go up the mountain?" "The park radio station is on the mountain. I thought I'd go up the mountain and ask the park to set up a radio station so that if you guys are there too, you can find me!" Qi Long gave a thumbs up: "Smart." "Sun Honglei, Wang Xun, Luo Zhiqiang, Qi Long, Zhang Yixing, please gather at the park gate when you hear the broadcast. Your uncle Huang Bai is waiting for you." Qi Long, who was originally praising with a smile, kicked him and said, "Why are you playing this ethical joke?" Qi Long had done this several times and Huang Bai also learned it. "Hahahaha, my country's bad uncle, it's normal to call yourself an uncle!" The two arrived at the park entrance, took photos for authentication, and received instructions for the next task: continue to meet up with others until all six people have gathered. After waiting in the park for a while and seeing no one else coming, the two discussed and decided to change location and head to the old pier where Sun Honglei and Zhang Yixing "broke up" and reconciled, to see if they could find any clues. Qi Long came here by hitchhiking, while Huang Bo was more ruthless. He was born near a used car sales platform that he endorsed, and he went directly to ask for a car. This is "Extreme Man" without rules. If you have the ability to get the props, just use them! The two brothers asked passers-by to send a Weibo message, asking everyone to gather at the Old Pier if they saw it. While taking photos with passers-by's phones and posting them on Weibo, the two of them discovered that the actions of the two smart people were almost exactly the same. They both asked passers-by to post on Weibo, tagged each person and had the post pinned to the top of the Extreme Man Gang super topic. The result caused a huge wave. The audiences were surprised that the new season of "Extreme Men" had started recording. Most importantly, it was all the original cast. They immediately started to spread the news, and the popularity of the show on Weibo directly ranked first on the hot search list. The second is that Wang Feng announced that he would release a single! This guy is really unique. Every time he releases a single, an album, or holds a concert, there is always a bigger news or gossip coming out. At the very least, it would be about someone in the entertainment industry cheating or having an abortion. There are many more serious ones, such as how Apu was almost beaten into Ajin, how Ajin couldn't stand being scolded and his imagination opened up after being scolded twice, etc., which are also topics that netizens love to talk about. This time, he ran into "x27," which dominated the weekend ratings for twelve weeks last year, and had to come in second again. They drove to the old pier together, and soon they met Luo Zhiqiang, who had seen the Weibo post in a friend's dressing room and rushed over. Now they were three-sixths of the group together, and the three brothers hugged and laughed. What do the “Extreme Three Spirits” mean? We don’t even know where the three idiots are. As the night deepened, Qi Long looked at the huge billboard in the distance and came up with an idea: "Hey, Brother Bo, Brother Zhu, how about we go to the big screen opposite and ask him to put up a big subtitle for us!" "Do you have money?" Luo Zhiqiang asked.

Huang Bo opened the car door and said, "Let's go! It doesn't matter whether it's money or not, let's give it a try." Luo Zhiqiang stayed at the old dock waiting for others, while Qi Long and Huang Bai went to the person in charge of the big screen. The two brothers shook hands with the person in charge like the liar. "Let me tell you, the six of us are now agents saving the earth!" Qi Long started talking seriously and talking nonsense. Huang Bo nodded immediately and improvised: "Yes, if we don't gather before 10 o'clock at night, the consequences will be disastrous!" The person in charge suppressed his laughter and asked, "What are the consequences?" Qi Long sighed: "It's a catastrophe. The earth will be plunged into darkness for nearly eight hours!" “Hahahaha, then it will be dark?” the person in charge laughed. Huang Bai pulled him and said, "Be serious, we are talking about serious business!" Qi Long, a crosstalk artist, is even better at talking nonsense: "That's right, and by then there may be global warming. Global warming will melt the glaciers in the Arctic and Antarctic, the sea level will rise, and some coastal cities will be submerged, including our Magic City. In order to save the world, you can release one, right?" “Then what about the cost?” "Look, we're about to save the world, why do you want a bicycle?" Qi Long said using Mr. Zhao Benshan's classic "scam" joke. The person in charge had the authority, so he suppressed his laughter and said, "Okay, I'll think of a way to waive the fee for us!" "Good brother, let's protect the beauty of the earth together!" Qi Long and Huang Bai held his hands. About half an hour later, the words "The Return of "Extreme Men" and "Gathering at the Old Pier" were displayed on the screen of the building. If they were nearby, they would definitely see it. After that, they just had to wait! (End of this chapter)

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