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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 30: Peking University is okay!

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Chapter 30: Peking University is okay!

Chapter 30 Peking University is okay! The second round of the rematch is allowed to invite foreign players, so there are relatively more group crosstalks in this show. Some people performed "Ba Ma Gua" and some performed "Jingang Legs", which are all old group jokes. However, for the sake of the competition, everyone added new baggage and designs to the framework of the old jokes. The foreign players invited were basically their respective masters, uncles and the like, who would not interfere with their crosstalk and add value to it. Zhang Pan and Liu Quanmiao, without any guest performers, went on stage and performed a classic piece of dance, "Yellow Crane Tower". The tone and rhythm were right, the characters were well established, and the effect was quite good. The two did not give up just because their opponents were the seemingly invincible Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang. They tried their best to perform at their best so that they would have no regrets in the crosstalk competition. After the two of them stepped down, it was the turn of Qi Long, Gao Dongqiang and their foreign aid Sa Beining's show. "Next, please enjoy the crosstalk "The Battle of Hosts", performed by Qi Long, Gao Dongqiang, and Sa Beining!" After Nicomati announced the show, the curtain opened and warm applause broke out at the scene. Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang walked out from one side of the stage. Qi Long said as he walked, "We need to rehearse hard today. Have you memorized the lyrics?" "remember!" "Do it again!" When they said this, the two of them just walked to the right half of the stage.

"okay!" "Our relationship as brothers is a perfect match. No one can separate us. We are so important to each other!" "That's right!" "If I were watching a comedy!" Qi Long said. "I'll just play Chen Peisi!" "If I were watching a movie!" "I'll just play Zhang Bozhi!" "If I have back and leg pain!" “Then I’ll be a masseur!” “If I love food!” “I’m a famous snack!” “My son wets the bed!” "I just peed! No! It's wet!" Gao Dongqiang raised his hand and said proudly, then he realized something was wrong. A very fast mother-and-child gag was delivered, and the audience and judges all laughed. Generally, the first punchline of a crosstalk is called the opening punchline. All things are difficult at the beginning, but once the opening punchline is delivered, all the subsequent punchlines will be correct. Qi Long pulled Gao Dongqiang across the stage, muttering to them to rehearse harder, saying that they would definitely get good rankings in this state. The two of them turned their backs to the stage, and Sa Beining came on stage on the other side, telling the audience who to watch now. As soon as Sa Beining came on stage, he started talking about the background of the story. He said that our station was going to create a new form of comedy news, complaining and commenting on some things, and asked Sa Beining to find a crosstalk actor to be his partner. Today he came to choose a partner. By chance, he saw Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang, so he approached them and asked if they wanted to participate in the show. At first, the two refused, saying that they couldn't be separated and couldn't be broken up. When Sa Beining mentioned the labor fee, the two immediately changed their faces and wanted to participate, refusing to give in.

Sa Beining suggested that he would test the two of them, and first of all, he should start from this image. "Of course the image has to be me. How handsome am I? The audience who thinks I'm handsome applaud!" The audience applauded. Qi Long was really handsome, and looked similar to many Hong Kong martial arts stars when they were young. "The audience who thought he was handsome stood on their heads!" The audience laughed, but of course no one was really doing a handstand. Qi Long spread his hands: "The result is obvious! My facial features are distinct, and he has at most complete facial features!" Gao Dongqiang was not convinced and pulled Sa Beining over: "Don't listen to his nonsense, you and I are the most suitable match. You look even more handsome when I am next to you. Red flowers need green leaves to set them off. If you are next to me, you are an arsonist!" "Arsonist?" Sa Beining was puzzled. "You are the man who sets fire to women's hearts!" Sa Beining was so happy to be praised: "Am I so good?" "Of course! Which girl would not be fascinated by your stunning beauty?" Gao Dongqiang flattered him. "I declare that Dong Qiang wins the first item!" "Hey, hey, I can also flatter!" Qi Long shouted hurriedly. "Flattery?" Gao Dongqiang glared at him, "Everything I said was true, and you actually thought I was flattering you! An?" Sa Beining was even more satisfied: "Don't argue anymore, I have the final say. In terms of image, Dong Qiang wins! Second, as a host, you have to be good at speaking!" As soon as he finished speaking, Qi Long took a deep breath, and then Gao Dongqiang's tongue twister "Eat grapes without spitting out the skins" came out of his mouth. Qi Long took another breath, and Gao Dongqiang interrupted him and sang a tongue twister [Longing for the sweetness of durian]. Qi Long took another breath, and Gao Dongqiang said again [A lama came from the south.] Gao Dongqiang barely took a breath when he said this. The lama's tongue twister was very powerful. When he finished, Qi Long said disdainfully: "You'll be suffocated to death!" "Come on if you have the ability, Mr. Sa, I won, right?" "I haven't come yet. I can do all of what he just said. I'll put them on!" "Oh?" Sa Beining became interested and asked Qi Long to show it immediately. Qi Long opened his mouth and started a series of tongue twisters: [From the south came a lama who ate grapes without spitting out the skins, and from the north came a mute who was nostalgic for the sweetness of durian.] This is a medley of tongue twisters that lasts more than 40 seconds. In the story, the lama from the south encountered a blue cotton door curtain, and inside there was a pink wall with a painting of a phoenix. The mute in the north encountered a field of dates that he had to pick all in one go, as well as forty-four dead and astringent persimmon trees and forty-four stone lions. After they finished telling the story of the two lamas and the mute before they met, they each bought a long shoulder pole and a wide bench to exchange. All in all, many classic tongue twisters were mixed in, and Qi Long's pronunciation was standard and accurate, with every word clear. The audience applauded after he spoke for a while, and after the applause, they found that he was still talking, so the applause stopped and they continued to listen, just like listening to a running script. The actors backstage looked at each other and clapped their hands in dismay! [The lama went home to stew Tama, and the mute blew the trumpet! ] After Qi Long finished speaking, Sa Beining immediately raised his thumb: "Good!" The audience and judges also gave out their accumulative applause at once.

Needless to say, the two sides tied, one to one. What to test next? Sa Beining pretended to have a headache: "How about comparing academic qualifications?" When it comes to this, Gao Dongqiang becomes proud. Qi Long dropped out of college, while he has an undergraduate degree. His college entrance examination score is 580, while Qi Long's is only 520. He is not good enough. Sa Beining said: College entrance examination scores are important, but it is inappropriate to say that they completely determine a person's life. My college entrance examination scores are not good enough! "Yes, Teacher Sa, how many points did you get?" Qi Long asked excitedly. "Zero points!" "what?" "Hey, I was admitted to Peking University" Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang were both speechless, and the audience below made a "yu" sound. Sa Beining continued to laugh and said, "I was still hesitant at that time. If I go, I will be far away from my hometown, relatives and friends. If I don't go, Peking University is also okay." His smug look had a great effect. The audience shouted "yu" and Xiao Ni said "puh" on the surface, but everyone was watching with joy. There is no feeling of disgust when seeing people pretending to be rich, which shows that he is popular with the audience and he speaks in moderation, keeping it within the scope of humor and not to the point of pretending to be rich and offending others. (End of this chapter)

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