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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 109: Working in the Park

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Chapter 109: Working in the Park

Chapter 109: Working in the Park Knowing that these "stewardess" had to keep smiling even when they were angry, Sa Beining started to trick Qi Long. When Qi Long asked him quietly, "Sir, what would you like to drink?" Sa Beining put on sunglasses and said in English, "Sorry I don't understand." Qi Long gritted his teeth but still kept smiling: "Sir, what would you like to drink?" Sa Beining said another sentence in English. Qi Long turned his head indignantly: "If it were Xiao Yueyue, wouldn't he have quit the stage?" After turning around, he smiled and asked in English: "Would you like something to drink?" "Orange juice!" Sa Beining switched to Chinese and laughed under Qi Long's murderous gaze. Then, in order to improve the show effect, these guys would call for service.

How do I open the tray table? How do I close the tray table? I forgot how to open the tray table? I forgot how to close the tray table The journey was quite a torture for Qi Long and his friends. As soon as they got off the plane, Qi Long, Sha Yi and Ruan Jingtian sang a song "Stewardess Song" to them. "You XX, I don't even remember the last word, anyway, you XX!" Everyone landed in Chang'an, Shaanxi Province, and the director team officially announced their challenge, which was to act as actors in a park modeled after the prosperous Tang Dynasty. Different performance items were assigned according to the test scores. Yue Yunpeng, who ranked last, played a beggar and begged on the street. "Hahahahahahahaha, beggar!" "Oh, this beggar is too fat, it's not suitable!" "Can this be eaten?" On the side, the man who played the beggar in the scenic area ran over. He was Yue Yunpeng's master today. Everyone briefly interviewed the uncle who played the beggar in the scenic area and was stunned. He earns tens of thousands of yuan a month by begging in scenic spots, and all the income he earns belongs to him, as well as five social insurances and one housing fund. Qi Long asserted at the time that after this episode was broadcast, the beggar interviews in the park would be full. The second-to-last performer, Sha Yi, had to play the Monkey King who was trapped under a rockery. He needed to put on makeup, stick monkey hair on his face, and then crawl into the hole in the rockery. Children would feed him bananas, apples, peaches and other fruits, and his job was to eat and take photos. "Hey, this one is not bad either! There will be more interview monkeys!" Sa Beining gave a thumbs up. Ruan Jingtian is a police officer who needs to patrol everywhere with a knife and also participate in the situational drama, "Catching Thieves", which requires rehearsals. Nikomaiti wants to pick a mole and act as a matchmaker on a dating platform. Sa Beining, who performed the best, played the role of Li Bai. He held a pot of wine and exchanged poems with people in the park. If he could compose more poems, he could be presented with exquisite gifts. Qi Long, who came in second, had to play the role of Lord Fang Xuanling and ask questions to passers-by who wanted to go on stage. If they answered three questions correctly, they would be rewarded with a small gift. After the work was assigned, everyone started to prepare. "Sa Beining is ecstatic!" Qi Long laughed when he saw Li Bai and Fang Xuanling's clothes.

Why? Because the soles of the shoes are ridiculously thick, to make them look tall and mighty. Sa Beining also responded: "Program crew, can I take this pair of shoes away? They suit me so well!" After changing his clothes, Sa Beining rehearsed in advance and stopped Qi Long: "Sir, can we have a poem?" "Of course you can, but I'm not good at learning ancient poetry!" "It's okay, I'll give an easy one!" Sa Beining handed over the handheld microphone with a smile, and then asked a question: "Goose, goose, goose!" Qi Long immediately replied: "Cut the curved neck with a knife, boil a pot of water, and serve when cooked!" Sa Beining: "This gentleman is also a foodie. Come on, I'm not feeling well!" "Drive to the ancient plains." Qi Long answered correctly, and Sa Beining looked at him in surprise. Are you not joking anymore? He subconsciously added the next sentence: "The sunset is so beautiful!" “Just drink Jianlibao!” Sa Beining: "I shouldn't have expected anything from you. Hello Jianlibao, this is the sponsor of our show!" Qi Long boasted: "I know too many ancient poems. The general and I took off our battle robes and spent the night in the warm lotus tent. I asked what love is in the world, and the monkeys on both sides of the river kept crying. I sat up in shock from my dying illness and asked with a smile where the guest came from!" The brothers were so happy that they pushed him and told him to stop talking. The crosstalk artist Yue Yunpeng came over to cooperate with Qi Long. He said: [Two orioles sing in the green willows! ] Qi Long replied: [You don’t have a girlfriend yet! ] 【When you see injustice, shout! 】 【You don’t have a girlfriend yet! 】 [A male and female rabbit are running on the ground! ] This time, as soon as Qi Long took a breath, Sa Beining, Sha Yi, Ruan Jingtian, and Nigomeiti, the four brothers said together: "You don't have a girlfriend yet!" Qi Long waved his hand: "No, this sentence is: You are still a single dog!" "Hahahahahaha!" After changing their clothes in the dressing room, they went to their respective workplaces to participate in the training. Qi Long played Lord Fang Xuanling, and had a partner who played Lord Du Ruhui. "Two people are good. I'm good at performing programs where two people perform together!" Qi Long said to the camera. The two of them had a brief exchange, and then they lined up to invite passers-by who wanted to come up and interact, and asked them three questions. If they answered all the questions correctly, they could get a small, not-so-expensive item, such as a pack of tissues, a hot pack, a small comb, a small fan, etc. Then we took a group photo. If you don’t answer correctly, just take a photo. The process is relatively casual, and there is no need to have three questions. It gives people the opportunity to trial and error, and it all depends on the two actors' on-the-spot performance. Qi Long and Xiao Du, who plays Du Ruhui and has the same surname as him, divided the work. Xiao Du was mainly responsible for setting the questions, while Qi Long was responsible for the comedy. Soon, the two of them swaggered onto the stage.

Qi Long is still well-known and popular among the public, and someone recognized him immediately, came over and called out his name. Qi Long, stroking his fake beard, waved his hand and said, "Everyone is so enthusiastic. Let me introduce myself. I am Fang Xuanling. The person standing next to me is named Du, and his name is Stomachache!" "Ah? Oh!" Xiao Du covered his stomach in surprise and cooperated with Qi Long. Qi Long said, “Uh!” “You have to say your name. Sorry, I can’t help but act like a crosstalk stage when two people come on stage!” "Oh, my name is Du Ruhui!" Xiao Du introduced himself. "Today, Lord Du and I are going to have a quiz with everyone. There will be prizes for the correct answers. Which lord would like to take the challenge?" As soon as Qi Long asked the question, someone raised his hand. Old employee Xiao Du quickly said: "No need to raise your hand, just come up!" An older brother quickly ran over. Qi Long didn't see clearly: "Here comes a gentleman who graduated from university many years ago! Please ask Mr. Du to set the questions!" I don’t know if it was because everyone was excited to see the stars or what, but Qi Long’s casual words made the audience laugh. Xiao Du gave a question, asking which are the four great classics of China. The first questions were all common sense, and the older brother answered them correctly immediately. "Then I'm going to make it a little more difficult. May I ask, what are the four great love stories of China?" Xiao Du increased the difficulty. This time the brother didn’t know how to do it and just stood there in a daze. Qi Long stroked his beard and said, "It seems that this gentleman has no love!" He lowered his head and laughed again, and the eldest brother scratched his head embarrassedly. "You should know foreign love stories, right?" Qi Long asked: "Romeo and Juliet" Brother "Zhu Shemie Ye" might be too excited and his mind couldn't think straight. Qi Long glanced at Xiao Du and said, "Take a picture. Remember, Romeo and the pigs are spending the night together!" "Juliet!" Xiao Du corrected. This was something they had discussed before going on stage. Whenever Qi Long said something wrong, he would correct him. It was just for the show effect. "Oh, I remembered wrongly, the one who spent the night with the pig was Yue Yunpeng!" The audience laughed at that sentence. After a little thought, they knew that it was about Yue Yunpeng and his partner Sun Yue. After the big brother left, a young mother with a little girl came. Xiao Du said: "The questions for children should be simpler. I will give you a simple one!" "Excuse me, what is the principle of relativity?" Qi Long immediately responded. The audience burst into laughter again. You call this simple? Since the child didn't know the four great classics, Xiao Du could only ask a very simple question: "Excuse me, what is Li Bai's occupation?" The little girl answered without saying anything: "Assassin!" The audience was amused by this answer. In a mobile game, Li Bai is positioned as an assassin. Qi Long felt inexplicably sad. This child only knew that Li Bai, the great poet, was a character in the game. If it was an adult friend, he would have treated it as a joke and joined in the joke, but this... was so sad! But Qi Long immediately adjusted his state, unlike those random people, and said to the child: "Then you have to be careful when you walk around this park. Sa Beining is dressed as an assassin and stabbing people everywhere!"

Qi Long didn't expect that his casual words would actually affect other people. When the patrolman Ruan Jingtian was asking if there were any robbers, thieves or assassins, he met a tourist who happened to be watching this scene in the audience. The tourist immediately reported that a man named Sa Beining had disguised himself as the assassin Li Bai and should be arrested immediately. So Ruan Jingtian and Sa Beining staged a chase scene, bringing a moment of laughter to passers-by. The question-and-answer session on Qi Long's side was very popular, and the blind date show on Nicometti's side was also very popular. Both of them came from the stage background, and they are very good at creating a lively atmosphere. On the other side, Sha Yi and Yue Yunpeng felt uncomfortable. They were so full that they couldn't eat anymore. Sha Yi, a group of children, at the signal of their parents, were feeding him like crazy. The fruit vendor next to his rockery was almost sold out. Sha Yi himself ate a large bag of grapes and bananas, as well as several slices of apples, pears, and watermelons. Yue Yunpeng was even worse off. He followed his master and shouted if anyone wanted to give him a free cake. Tourists who knew him generously bought him more than ten or twenty cured beef steamed buns, a specialty snack from Shaanxi Province. In addition, there are steamed buns, zonggao, gold coin oil tower, soup dumplings, and even a big bowl filled with kuadai noodles. Looking around, all you see are staple foods. This is the simple north, the city of staple foods, full of carbohydrates. I can’t finish it. I can’t finish it at all! (End of this chapter)

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