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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 110: You can’t argue with the lyrics of Qinqiang!

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Chapter 110: You can’t argue with the lyrics of Qinqiang!

Chapter 110 You can’t argue with the lyrics of Qinqiang! The stage where Qi Long and Nicometti were located was very popular. Nicometti's stage was a serious blind date for single men and women, so only a limited number of people could go on stage. But on Qi Long's stage, men, women, young and old could all go on stage, so it was more popular, and there was a constant stream of people queuing up. Qi Long also made witty remarks and kept making everyone laugh. At this time, Sa Beining, who was caught and beaten by Ruan Jingtian, also came to join in the fun. The crowd made way for him and let him go on stage. When Qi Long saw him, he immediately pointed to the front and said, "Come on, take a picture!" Sa Beining didn't understand what it meant, but the audience was laughing. On this stage, if you answer incorrectly, you can take a photo with the two adults, so the three words "take a photo" mean that you are uneducated! Low EQ: uneducated; high EQ: take a photo! "I'm here to answer questions, Mr. Fang. We have a very good relationship and often play together!" Sa Beining shouted hurriedly. After hearing what he said, Qi Long felt that he had something to get rid of, so he asked, "What are you playing?" "We always select thirteen individuals from the one hundred and forty-four individuals to make them reach a certain value!" Sa Beining said hurriedly. This joke is from the play "Between Husband and Wife" performed by Qilong Small Theater and Gao Dongqiang. It tells the story of a man who went out to have fun. His wife asked him where he was going, and he answered like this.

Qi Long had said so, so he naturally knew the gag, so he explained it to the confused audience: "In layman's terms, it's playing mahjong!" Sa Beining: "Also, we often study how two weak people can use scarce resources to defeat a powerful country with abundant resources through unity and cooperation!" "In layman's terms, it's fighting the landlords!" Sa Beining continued: "We often discuss this together. Let me ask you, if the sum of all prime numbers is below the square root, will it approach the second theory of Goldbach's conjecture infinitely, or will it continue to decrease with the accumulation effect and eventually fall into the third quadrant of Lagrange's theory?" Qi Long didn't understand when he started talking. He knew that this was Sa Beining's trick. The first two were just foreshadowing, and this was: the real purpose was revealed! It depends on whether you, the person who sets the question, can answer the question! But Qi Long adopted the technique of crosstalk actors throwing back questions when they couldn't answer them, and nodded seriously: "What do you think?" "I" "Didn't you express your thoughts at that time?" "Hahahahahahaha!" Everyone in the audience was laughing. They all realized that Xiao Sa had dug a hole and buried himself. Qi Long told him not to waste everyone's time and to answer the questions quickly. The questions were still given by Xiao Du, who asked him who the "Poet Immortal Li Bai" was, and who the Poet Ghost was. Such a simple question naturally did not stump Sa Beining, and he answered immediately: Li He. He also recited a poem by Li He: [Why don't men take Wu Gou and conquer fifty states? Please go to Lingyan Pavilion for a while, and you will be a scholar and a marquis! ] When talking about Lingyan Pavilion, he also pointed to the two people behind him who played Fang Xuanling and Du Ruhui, both of whom were heroes in Lingyan Pavilion. Look, this is a cultured person. When you ask him who the ghost poet is, he can also lead to the Lingyan Pavilion. "Good!" After answering the first question correctly, Xiao Du continued with the second question. Qi Long said at the side: "Come up with something difficult!" "Okay, may I ask Master Li Bai, what are the four great beauties of ancient China and their corresponding words?" Many people know the four great beauties, but they may not know which one is represented by Chen Yu, Luo Yan, Bi Yue and Xiu Hua respectively. Some passers-by are stumped by this during the test. But for Sa Beining, with his accumulated knowledge, this was no different from a simple question and he answered it immediately. "沉鱼, this refers to Xi Shi, when she was washing clothes, the fish saw her and sank!落雁, when Wang Zhaojun went to the frontier, the wild geese were so fascinated by her that they fell down;隔月, this refers to Diao Chan, 羞花, this refers to Yang Yuhuan!"

"bingo!" Seeing that Xiao Du was about to ask another question, Qi Long stopped him and said, "Let me ask the third question!" Sa Beining stood confidently: "You can ask any question you want. If you can't answer it, I lose!" "Excuse me, host of CCTV's legal program 'Daily Statement', what is Sa Beining's height?" Qi Long asked his question seriously. Sa Beining's confident expression disappeared on the spot, and the audience burst into laughter. "Sir Li, think it over before you speak. We need to measure it on the spot, so we have to answer the questions rigorously!" Qi Long continued. Sa Beining bowed and said, "I admit defeat. Bye!" How could he make his height public? Today is the day he is at his highest. It would be so embarrassing to take off his high heels! After stepping down from the stage, Sa Beining was still complaining to the camera that was following him, saying that crosstalk actors are really mean. Not long after Sa Beining left, the quiz show on Qi Long's stage came to an end because there was a large-scale performance to be performed, which was the one that Ruan Jingtian was rehearsing, so their shows were stopped. On the way, Qi Long met Yue Yunpeng who was carrying a big bag, Shayi Monkey King who was numb from eating, and the matchmaker played by Nigomati. Nicometti came over and asked Qi Long: "Sir, how is your partner?" "I'm with a good partner!" Qi Long replied, then took a breath and said, "I'm also okay with dogs and monkeys. Come on, Sha Yi, have some fruit!" Sha Yi ran away at that time. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Everyone went to watch Ruan Jingtian's performance. Surprisingly, after Ruan Jingtian pulled out the knife, he swung it twice and the knife flew directly towards the actors in the back row, the adults who played the ministers. Fortunately, it was a prop knife and did not hit anyone. However, Ruan Jingtian was almost broken. He was in the queue, playing with a knife with only the handle, with an expression of confusion. The members and passers-by watching all burst into laughter. "Look at that expression, it's like it's broken!" Nicometti laughed so hard that the moles on his face were shaking. After the performance, Qi Long and six other members went on stage and asked everyone to support the Tang Dynasty City That Never Sleeps. The recording was over, but the audience was very enthusiastic and asked them to perform. The brothers did not refuse. Ruan Jingtian sang and danced, and Sha Yi sang a section from their "Wulin Wai Zhuan": [Are you extremely hungry? Ah, a black cloud of air gushed out] That part was in Shaanxi dialect and was very popular. Sa Beining and Nigometi sang a piece of their CCTV F4 song. During their performance, Qi Long and Yue Yunpeng performed a simple rehearsal and then went on stage. Yue Yunpeng joked that his uncle Qi Long was helping him measure the work. After the two of them came on stage, Yue Yunpeng said that everyone in front was singing, so he wanted to learn to sing too, and sang a song to bless everyone. "Please do some!" Yue Yunpeng smiled and began to sing: [There are 365 sunrises in a year! ] "That's because it's not a leap year!" Qi Long said to the audience.

【I send you three hundred and sixty-five blessings! 】 "Are you tired enough?" Qi Long continued? [The hour hand turned 1,440 times a day! ] "Hey, why are you counting him?" [There are more than 1,440 hidden in my heart every day.] "what?" 【miss】 "You tell me." Yue Yunpeng turned around and pushed Qi Long: "Uncle Master, you can't mess with me here!" "Who told you not to let me be funny? I only know how to be funny. If you insist on me praising you, I will fight with you!" In one sentence, the contradiction was pointed out, explaining why Qi Long had just supported the song and was arguing. "Do you really have to argue with me?" "I have to argue with you!" Yue Yunpeng was not convinced and sang another song: [I want to walk from south to north, I also want to walk from day to night...] "You'll be exhausted!" 【I want people to see me, but not know who I am! 】 "Who do you love?" Yue Yunpeng stopped again: "Uncle Master, you can't do this, I can't even perform!" "Isn't it good enough if I can perform?" "You insist on arguing with me!" "Yes, I am the human ETC, an automatic argument machine! I will argue with whatever song you sing today!" Yue Yunpeng spoke up: "Then don't blame me for using my special trick, I want to sing Qinqiang!" "I'll sing whatever you sing!" [When I left the house, I felt my back was facing backwards! ] "No, what do you mean?" Qi Long first said it was not right, and then asked him to explain. Yue Yunpeng: "When I go out, I feel my back is at the back." "How can it be the back? Isn't that nonsense? What's in front of you is the front, and the back is always the back!" Qi Long said halfway before reacting. Yue Yunpeng was delighted: "Look, there is no way to refute it!" Then he sang the next line: [In order to put the stomach first, take a step forward and a step back, just pretend you haven't walked at all. The high table and the low bench are all made of wood. Your eldest uncle and your second uncle are both your uncles. Pigs, horses, cows and sheep are all livestock!]

Qi Long listened carefully and wanted to speak but couldn't find a chance. "This is all nonsense. If there is one sentence in this that is not nonsense, then it is not nonsense!" Yue Yunpeng said proudly: "Lift it, you lift it!" "I can't come. How can I argue with nonsense literature?" Yue Yunpeng said proudly: "So, when facing people who argue with you, you can sing Qinqiang. However, Qinqiang is a little difficult sometimes. You can combine it with rock music." As he spoke, Yue Yunpeng started singing, using the lyrics of Qinqiang and the melody of "Fake Monk" in the previous song. The first part was a combination of lyrics and melody. In the last two sentences, Yue Yunpeng's voice suddenly became louder and he pointed at Qi Long: "Your eldest uncle and your second uncle are both animals. Pigs, horses, cows and sheep are all your uncles!" "Go away!" Qi Long pushed him, and the performance ended. The two performed normally, but Ruan Jingtian, a young man from Taiwan who had not watched much crosstalk before, was shocked. He asked Sa Beining and others in disbelief: "Can they perform this impromptu? In just such a short time?" "You are questioning someone's job. You don't have time to prepare. As long as you have performed the same crosstalk, you can still perform it on stage!" Sha Yi explained to him: "This thing is just like our improvisational performance assessment. You act with strangers and just cooperate with each other!" "The problem is that improvisation doesn't require comedy. This effect was so good that the audience was excited!" "Go watch their crosstalk if you have a chance, and you'll know it's already very crude!" Sa Beining recommended it to Ruan Jingtian, "But tickets to Deyun Club are hard to buy!" (End of this chapter)

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