“From the start…”
I pressed my lips, my chest growing heavy as I stared at the figure sitting opposite me. His face was different. His build was different… and everything about him felt different.
He was so different from the brother that I knew.
And that…
That shit hurt more than I expeted.
‘Just how much has he gone through to be like this?’
“….You were always here. Watching over me.”
I closed my eyes, feeling my chest tremble as a certain pain surfaced from deep within.
The more I thought about the situation and the struggle Noel had gone through, the more obvious it became to me how incompetent I was as an older brother.
I…
“I don’t need your apology.”
Noel’s voice suddenly cut through the silence.
Staring at me, he sighed.
“You’re always like this. You never change… But I’m glad you haven’t changed.”
He seemed a little relieved as he spoke.
I opened my mouth, but soon closed it. That was because I noticed a sudden shift in Noel’s expression as he looked at me.
Taking a deep breath, Noel leaned back on his chair. He seemed to have calmed his previously fluctuating emotions and appeared more level-headed.
The change took me a little by surprise.
He… really had changed a lot since the last time I had seen him.
“What?”
As if sensing my thoughts, Noel looked at me with a smile.
“… You thought I’d cry like in the past? That I’d come over and hug you until you comforted me?”
“Haha.”
I let out a bitter laugh.
He was spot on.
“I would, to be honest.”
Noel’s words took me a little by surprise. However, his next words made my expression turn serious.
“…But I don’t want to do it like this. At least, not in the state that I currently am.”
“What do you mean?”
Noel didn’t answer me. Instead, he started to unbutton his shirt while taking off his blazer. My brows furrowed at the sight, but I didn’t overreact. I knew he was trying to show me something.
…And soon, Noel removed his shirt.
“What…”
My expression crumbled the moment he did so as I felt my breath get stripped away from me.
I stared at Noel, lips trembling as my gaze lowered towards his chest.
…Or more precisely, the gaping hole on his chest.
My entire body started to tremble.
“They took my heart.”
Anger started to surge from deep within my body.
I could hardly contain it.
“I’m alive, and yet, am not. I merely function as a walking corpse while they use my heart to fuel their lives, carelessly giving it away as if it’s some sort of prized reward.”
Rattle! Rattle!
The bed beneath rattled.
I was starting to see red.
“…I can feel it whenever they squeeze my heart and extract my blood from it. I can feel everything.”
Noel’s expression paled.
“I’m supposed to be immortal, and yet, I can feel that my heart is slowly dying out. They’ve also started to notice it, hence why they’ve stopped giving it away like candy while preventing anyone from having it.”
Rattle!
The rattling grew more intense, the rage within my body threatening to explode at any given second. And it was just as it was about to explode that a sudden memory flashed in my mind.
‘W-why would you do this? I thought we were on the same side… How could you? How could you…!?’
‘Same side? Ha…’
‘You..’
‘Toren, there are things I see—things so far beyond your grasp, they would tear your very soul apart if you could glimpse them. They follow me, relentlessly, through my sleep, they bleed into my daydreams, and they torment me whenever they have a chance.’
‘But—’
‘These sights, these truths… I never asked for them, yet they are mine to bear, dragging me into the abyss whether I wish to look or not. I am cursed to see what others cannot even imagine, and it is a curse that bleeds through every moment of my existence.”
‘…Y-you, you have gone mad, Emmet! You have gone mad!’
‘Hmm, maybe I have. No, I probably have.’
‘Uh…!’
‘But in my madness, I am sane enough to know… to know that you all must die.’
The anger seemed to fade almost instantly.
It all started to click then as my eyes closed.
“Indeed, they all must die…”
I took a silent breath before opening my eyes again and staring at Noel, who had put his shirt back on. His expression was calm, but I could see the pain in his eyes as he sat down and looked at me.
“Now that Toren has set his sights away from you, we managed to secure some time for ourselves. We should be able to last until the bait dies.”
By bait, I understood immediately what he was trying to say.
He meant Jackal.
From the very start, this had been a scheme in order to use him to lure Toren away from us while buying some valuable time.
It also became clear to me that Sithrus was probably aware of my identity as Emmet.
‘He might’ve not done a thing because he was watching me, or perhaps was next to me all along.’
I hoped it wasn’t the latter.
The plan worked flawlessly, but if there was one thing that left me disappointed, it was the fact that I no longer had the ability to see visions. Not only that, but the system was gone as well. Looking at the four-leaf clover on my arm, I saw that all the leaves were dim.
Even if I tried pressing one of the leaves, I knew it would lead to nothing.
I… had essentially lost all powers related to Oracleus.
This left me at a complete loss. Especially since it was all I relied on to grow in spite of my lacking body.
Now that I could no longer grow with such means, I felt handicapped.
What was I going to do from this point forward?
“You’re worrying too much.”
Noel comforted me as though he could read my thoughts.
“….Seeing how you’re looking at your arm, I presume you’re worried about your powers.”
“Yes…”
A complicated expression marred Noel’s face in that moment.
“Then you don’t have to worry too much. You’ll eventually get them back.”
“I know.”
There was no doubt in my mind that I would get them back. I was just at a loss with regards to what I’d have to do from this point forward.
“You know, and yet you’re still making such a face?”
“Haha..”
I could only laugh.
“…I’m just thinking about what to do from this point forward. Without those powers, I’m essentially weaker than before. I know I’ll get them back, but how long do you—”
“It won’t be too long.”
Noel cut through my words, his expression stern.
This prompted me to raise my brow, and just as I was about to ask why, his lips parted.
“The powers that we wield are not things that regular humans should be able to wield. Our powers… they’re all essentially borrowed powers. We never truly grasped them for ourselves.”
“What…?”
I looked at Noel in confusion, his words leaving me at a loss. We never truly grasped them for ourselves? What could he—
“You’re the biggest example, brother.”
“I am?”
“Yes.”
Noel nodded while letting out a long breath.
Pointing at me, his tone grew hoarse.
“…You were the first of all seven of us to lose yourself in the power.”
“What?”
I opened my eyes wide. However, thinking about it and recalling certain moments and scenes, I knew that this was most likely the truth.
“Your powers were the strongest of all of us. You suddenly started to change. You became different. Colder, more pragmatic, and everything you did seemed to have a purpose. Maybe this is why you had yourself erase your memories. Maybe…”
Noel took a pause, staring directly at me.
“…Maybe you were afraid of going mad again.”
I took a deep breath upon hearing his words.
If it was like he said, then it made sense. I had always thought about the reasons why I found myself in this strange new world with memories that seemed to be completely different from the truth.
In the end, was the reason just because I didn’t want myself to remember all that I knew?
…Or was there more to it?
I wasn’t sure, but there was something else that I was more curious about.
“You said something about ‘us’ never grasping these powers of ourselves. What do you mean by that?”
“I mean what I mean.”
Noel answered, his eyes closing faintly.
“These powers don’t belong to us. They were bestowed upon us when the meteorite came down and destroyed everything. They allowed us to immediately gain access to the source and make us ‘gods’.”
“But…?”
“But the source is not something that anyone can just tap with borrowed power. In the end, it will reject anyone who tries to grasp it without full knowledge of it.”
With his expression turning complicated again, Noel looked at me. He didn’t have to say anything for me to understand what he was trying to imply.
“So in the end, I got too close to the source and got rejected by it? Turning mad?”
“…That’s one of the theories I’ve come up with.”
“Ho.”
I let out a short breath and blankly stared at the ceiling.
“So in the end, is it even possible to tap into the source without the borrowed power?”
“Of course it is.”
Noel nodded, his gaze changing as he looked at me.
“Didn’t you just do it now?”
“Huh…? But—”
“There’s none of your old blood inside your body. You managed to tap into it completely by yourself.”
“But not for long.”
“That doesn’t matter. You still managed to tap into it, and that’s enough proof of what you need to do.”
I blinked my eyes slowly. Proof of what I needed to do?
What did I—
“You need to be the eighth.”
My eyes widened as I looked at Noel. Don’t tell me…?
Noel slowly nodded his head, his expression as serious as ever.
“…Sithrus is also aware of it, and is working towards it.”
Noel pressed his hand against his chest.
“The key is in everything that you’ve learned so far.”
“Emotions.”
The words unconsciously flowed out of my mouth as Noel nodded.
“Yes, you need to become the eighth god. The god of emotions.”
