It was dark.
The darkness stretched all around me, wrapping around me with its cold touch.
‘What’s going on?’
I didn’t understand what was happening.
It felt as though I was drifting in this endless darkness, with no end in sight.
‘…Am I dead?’
It was also then that I recalled what had happened prior to finding myself in this situation, and my heart sank.
Indeed, there was no way I could’ve survived something like that.
Attacked by several opponents at once—some even stronger than me—it was nothing short of a miracle that I managed to pull off what I did.
But even then…
‘It wasn’t enough.’
I was still unable to survive.
The realization left me completely unresigned as I continued to drift in this pitch black darkness. The darkness thickened, growing colder with every passing second—each one dragging on as if it would never end.
I just drifted in the darkness, waiting for my soul to slowly fade away.
I thought about everything. From Noel, to Leon, and everyone that I knew. Most importantly… I also thought about her.
Would she even care if I died?
…She did seem pretty angry at me towards the end.
Angry enough to look at me like that.
‘Perhaps, it’s good that she hated me in the last moments of my life.’
It made the pain in my chest ease.
At least, I now knew she wouldn’t be affected much by my death.
I felt better knowing that.
And yet, the pain remained. It clung to me, buried deep within my chest, clawing its way inward as if trying to wrench my heart wide open.
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
And the more it hurt, the more I started to feel something amiss. For someone who was supposed to be dead, this pain felt a little too real.
Too raw.
How could that be?
And then I felt it—
‘Hm?’
The faint warmth coming from several directions.
The darkness around me began to lift as I slowly raised my head, only to find myself surrounded on all sides by countless orbs of light, gently floating in the void.
Staring into those orbs, my chest tingled.
‘What is…?’
The orbs… they seemed to be calling out for me. Beckoning me.
As my gaze lingered on the orbs, I watched in awe as they began to grow, expanding rapidly in my vision before hurtling toward me at an unimaginable speed.
I was shocked at first. Almost scared.
The shock quickly faded as I sensed no threat from the orbs. Though they hadn’t reached me yet, a deep instinct told me they meant no harm. And sure enough, when they drew near, they stopped, suspended in the void just before me.
I stood in silence, staring at them without saying a single word.
There were quite a few of them, and as I looked around me, they all felt like glowing stars.
I slowly reached out for them, and the cold that had engulfed my body started to fade away completely. The closer I came to the orb, the warmer it became, and as soon as my hand entered the orb, it suddenly felt as though my mind blanked.
In that moment, I started to feel in control of everything.
As though the world seemed to be at the palm of my hands.
Yet, despite that feeling, it didn’t seem like I had become stronger in the traditional sense. No—this change ran deeper. It was as if I had gained a newfound mastery over my mana and emotive magic, a level of control I had never dreamed possible before.
In this state, it felt like I could control my emotive magic to a point where I could have the same effect as when touching someone through speech.
At the same time, I also felt like I could control the threads and skills in ways I had never thought possible.
The sensation…
It was euphoric. Addicting.
And the more I immersed myself in the feeling, the more it felt as though my mind was slowly starting to fade.
‘No!’
I quickly snapped myself out of it, pulling my hand away and moving away from the white orb.
‘What in the world was that…?’
A newfound sense of dread invaded my chest as I stared at the orb. For a moment, I almost thought I was going to disappear.
However, at the same time, I thought about the strange power provided by the orb.
For some reason… it felt familiar.
Yes, familiar.
As though I had touched this sort of power in the past.
‘But I don’t remember ever touching something like this before?’
My mind churned as my thoughts drifted towards this strange power. The more I tried to think, the emptier my mind felt.
‘No, nothing.’
I couldn’t recall ever experiencing anything like this before.
This was the first time I had ever experienced something like this. A strange black world filled with st—
Ah.
It was then that I suddenly recalled something, and my chest grew heavier.
Indeed, I had never experienced this sensation before. I was now sure of it.
But that only applied to my current self.
What about my past self?
‘This…’
I recalled Leon’s and Jackal’s earlier explanation, and suddenly, everything began to fall into place. What I was experiencing now… it was none other than the Source Jackal had spoken of.
The strange power that seemed to belong to the ‘gods’.
…And the moment the realization hit me, the orbs around me suddenly started to stir into life.
‘What is happening?!’
Noticing the shift, I tensed up instantly. Based on what I’d experienced before, the Source was terrifying—an overwhelming force that felt like it could consume me whole at any moment.
I didn’t feel at ease with the sudden changes.
The orbs around me began to wiggle, shifting and weaving through the void, and my entire body tightened with unease. I kept my eyes locked on them, every muscle primed to react at the slightest hint of danger.
I was ready.
Ready to move.
But then…
‘How!?’
My entire body froze on the spot as my mouth slowly opened in shock.
An utterly unexpected sight unfolded before my eyes as the orbs expanded, their forms warping and shifting to reveal a cascade of scenes—each one vivid, surreal. And within them… I saw myself. There was the Julien version of me. The Emmet version. The past me. Every fragment, every life, every version—I was in all of them.
And slowly, the scenes started to enter my mind.
Not all, but some.
‘Akh—!’
I felt a sharp pain stab right through my mind as the scenes entered my mind, each one different than the other. I started to recall things that I had long forgotten, and the fine line that separated me from the other version of me in the visions started to fade.
…I was slowly starting to integrate with all my previous memories.
‘Uhhhk!’
Or at least, tried to.
There were far too many memories and moments.
I understood that it was impossible for me to digest everything at once in one go. It would take time for that to happen.
And just as the pain in my mind started to get overwhelming, it all stopped.
The world grew silent.
That was until…
‘At some point, I’ll need you to step in.’
I heard the sound of my voice drift in the void.
I lifted my head and glanced around, searching for the source of the voice. But it didn’t take long to realize—it wasn’t coming from around me. It was echoing from deep within my own mind.
This conversation…?
I started to recall saying such words in the past.
They were to someone.
To…?
‘To make this work, I’ll have to die—and let go of these powers. It’s the only way to divert Toren’s attention away from me. He’s sharp. By now, he’s likely pieced together fragments of my identity. He’ll try to get close, to study me, to strike when I least expect it… I need to let him think I was merely a ruse. A fake meant to distract him from the real me.’
The more the conversation dragged on, the more I started to understand.
A scene fleshed itself in my mind.
…And soon enough, another voice echoed.
‘I understand.’
My heart clenched.
That was Noel’s voice.
‘…I’ll do it, but…’
His voice was the same as ever. However, I could see the traces of hesitation and fear in his voice.
That was when I remembered trying to comfort him.
‘Don’t worry. We’ll see each other once all of this is over. I know you’ll be by my side the entire time. I want you to watch over me while you greedily consume everything around you. Before then, you must persist.’
‘…I won’t be allowed to do anything?’
‘You need to understand your position, Noel. You are in no position to do anything but use your mind. Use that mind of yours to your advantage. I’ll be waiting.’
‘I… understand.’
The voice stepped there.
However, my mind didn’t. It continued to churn, replaying the scenes over and over again.
‘I know you’ll be by my side the entire time?’
Noel was with me the entire time? My heart pressed. Then, it suddenly started to hit me.
Leon… Noel, Leon… Noel.
Leon was Noel spelled backwards.
My heart squeezed at the realization.
Could it be?!
But then…
‘No, he’s not.’
The part of me that was slowly starting to assimilate with my memories told me that wasn’t the case.
And most importantly, the clues were starting to filter into my mind.
‘Leon’s real name is not Leon. Who named him Leon?’
Aldric.
He was the one who named Leon.
Ah.
From the very start, it was right under my nose.
‘Julien’s weird obsession with swords. Who planted them into his mind?’
I thought about how Emmet was originally a sword user and my lips quivered. It all suddenly started to make sense.
Aldric.
‘Leon’s strange sword art. The one that I felt so familiar with. Who truly gave it to him? What about his strange ability to heal?’
I knew Leon told me he had found it, but did he really?
I didn’t need to think to know the answer.
…It was yet again, Aldric.
And most importantly, that unique sword art, who did it originally belong to?
In that moment, everything started to make sense.
The weird sense of oppression I felt from him whenever I interacted with him, and his ability to think several steps ahead, and why I felt so in tune with Leon’s strange sword art from the moment I saw it in spite of me not being talented in the sword with this body.
Aldric.
He was none other than Noel.
My brother.
…And as that thought echoed through my mind, the world around me burst into blinding light. In the next instant, I was staring up at a blank ceiling.
Slowly sitting upright, I turned my head and saw a pair of hazel eyes staring in my direction.
I stared at his face for a few moments, but those moments felt like they stretched into eternity. Slowly, my lips parted, and a name left my lips.
“Noel…”
A name I wanted to say for so long.