Tak—
As soon as I defeated the monster, the world shifted, and before I knew it, I found myself back in the white void. Standing not far from me was the old man.
Though he tried to act calm, his wiggling smile betrayed his true thoughts.
“So…?”
“So, what?”
Look at him turning his head away from me.
“Let me guess, you weren’t expecting me to be this fast, right?”
“….”
His silence was all I needed to know.
I yet again, almost burst out laughing. As much of a lunatic as this guy was, he was also quite easy to read. He was too shy to give compliments.”
Yes, shy.
“I don’t like the expression you’re currently making.”
“Sorry, what?”
I sat down on the ground and stretched my arms.
“I’m not going to fall for it like last time. I’m not making any expression. You’re just overthinking. There’s only one thought in my mind at the moment.”
“Which is…?”
Frowning, the old man leaned forward a bit. He seemed curious.
“Well…”
I dragged it on for a second before shrugging.
“…I was just thinking about how surprised and pleased you were by my achievement. You should’ve looked at your face. You didn’t give me any compliments, but I felt them.”
“This punk.”
The old man’s expression fell and he raised his hand.
I didn’t flinch and merely smiled.
“Come, hit me.”
I knew he wasn’t going to hit me.
I wasn’t lying about his face. He really did look quite surprised and pleased. Someone who could make that face wouldn’t just kill me for a few jokes.
“Aigoo.”
And I was right.
Scratching the back of his head, the old man lowered his head down.
“…You’re luck kid. Had it been the me of the past, I would’ve killed you without my eyes closing.”
I thought back to my first vision and nodded.
He looked like he would.
The old man frowned upon seeing my reaction as he touched his face while mumbling, ‘Is it that easy to read my expression?’
I shook my head and closed my eyes.
‘It’s been a while since Owl-Mighty has contacted me. Is it because I am in this space?’
Normally, I’d be able to get a feel for Owl-Mighty but it was almost as if I had lost complete connection. I was a little bit worried, but then again, it really could all be due to the strange space that I was in.
Opening my eyes, I finally took notice of a pair of projections that weren’t far from the old man.
“This is…?”
Taking a closer look, I saw Kaelion and Caius.
I silently whistled at the sight that greeted me.
The two of them…
They were having quite a hard time.
‘No wonder they lost to me.’
***
Monsters existed.
Some were in plain sight, others hid in the shadows.
In the mind.
Slap—!
The rain poured down from above.
It poured harshly, as though the sky were crying themselves.
Beneath the rain, two individuals stood.
Slap, Slap—!
“Why did you seal your emotions?”
“Because I’m a talentless shit with no emotions. I got rid of my emotions because I am afraid of pain.”
“Good, repeat it again.”
“….I’m a talentless shit with no emotions. I got rid of my emotions because I am afraid of pain.”
Caius mindlessly repeated the same words over and over again.
Even as the rain stained his clothes and hair.
All he could hear was the faint background noise of the rain, his steady breathing, the sound of his own voice, and…
“Continue.”
The cruel and indifferent voice of the ‘monster’.
“I’m a talentless shit…”
How much time has passed?
Caius had long lost count by now.
He just stood by the rain, repeating the monster’s words over and over again.
He also knew this was fake.
He knew this was an illusion.
And yet…
He couldn’t stop himself from repeating the words.
Why?
Why couldn’t he stop?
If he just closed his mouth, what would the worst that could happen be? A harsher slap? While painful, the slaps Caius could take.
But…
No.
This wasn’t the answer.
“Why did you stop speaking?”
Slap!
It didn’t even hurt.
Slap—!
“Why did you stop?”
It hardly tickled.
But…
“Have you lost it completely?”
Slap——!
Why did his chest hurt?
This pain… It was a little different from any physical pain he had felt in the past. In fact, he was sure he knew what this pain was, but couldn’t quite say it. He just felt the answer at the tip of his tongue.
“Are you not going to say anything?!”
Slap———!
Caius’s head flung to the side due to the sheer force of the slap.
Turning his head and staring at the man who stood before him, Caius’s eyes cleared up a bit.
Yet, despite looking clearly at the man, his features felt foreign to him.
He looked…
‘Monster.’
Yes, he looked like a monster.
“Why are you not speaking?! Have you completely lost it? You do understand I can get rid of you like I got rid of your siblings. I can make a new one anytime that I want. You’re only alive because you have some shred of hope of succeeding me!”
Caius felt his body lift as the monster grabbed hold of his collar, lifting him off the ground.
“As talentless are you are, I can make you better! So listen to what I have to say and start practicing. Do you understand?”
“…..”
Caius nodded.
“Good.”
Finally letting go of Caius, the man stepped back.
“Now, repeat after me; I’m a talentless shit with no emotions. I got rid of my emotions because I am afraid of pain.”
“I’m a…”
Halfway through his sentence, Caius stopped.
“What’s wrong? Are you—”
“Am I really talentless?”
“….Uh?”
“I am better.”
“What sort of nonsense…?”
“I am better.”
Caius repeated.
These were the words he used to repeat to himself in the past. Despite saying them, he never truly felt like he was better. After all, he was a talented trash.
It was just that everyone else was even worse than him.
In a world of trash, he was the better trash.
Therefore;
“I am better.”
Was merely a way for him to reaffirm his status.
At least, that was how it used to be in the past. But what about now? Caius thought about Haven; the place that had the best talents in the entire Four Empires.
The place where Julien—the guy who beat him—came from. Spending time in the Academy, Caius understood something.
He was better.
Be it physical, mana, mental, or theoretical examinations, he was always at the top or near the top. There was no one that came close to him in all four aspects.
Even Julien, who had defeated him was nowhere near him in those aspects besides mental.
In that sense, Caius started questioning the monster’s words.
Was he truly a talentless trash?
Slap!
“Why aren’t you speaking again?”
Caius raised his head and looked at the monster once more.
Beneath the pouring rain, his image looked terrifying, but to a Caius who knew no fear, he didn’t feel as towering as he once appeared.
In fact, he was actually the same height.
He used to be taller.
…The wrinkles he once had also no longer appeared, and his face became clearer in Caius’s mind.
“I’ll say it one more time. Repeat after me. I’m a tal—”
“Am I talentless?”
“Ah?”
Caius stared straight at the monster and his lips parted open.
“There’s no one better than me in this Empire or any other Empire.”
He was at the top of everything.
“What sort of—”
Academics.
“…You’ve lied to me.”
Physical, and mental.
There was hardly anyone as good as him.
“I lost, but that doesn’t make me talentless. It’s okay to lose.”
To lose didn’t mean the end.
…It just meant one could be better.
Caius knew he could be better.
He was after all…
Better.
“I didn’t seal my emotions because I am afraid of pain.”
Caius raised his head and got a good look at the monster in front of him.
For the first time in a very long time, Caius managed to see his full form. And it was then that he realized.
‘…I am my own monster.’
The one pushing him the entire time.
The monster haunting his mind.
It was…
None other than himself.
Blinking his eyes, the figure in front of him became increasingly clear. The only thing that remained was the rain and himself.
It was just like in the past.
He had always been alone.
His father had never once cared about him.
When he trained in the air, he had been alone.
The one to slap him had always been him.
The one speaking had always been him.
He…
Drip, drip—
“Ah, I see.”
It was then that Caius understood.
The ‘Monster’ was never real.
It was merely a means to cope with the fact that he was alone.
It was his own true companion.
And…
His obsession.
Lifting his head, the monster appeared again.
“….”
Basking in the rain, Caius turned around and walked away.
Thank you, and goodbye.
Monster.
*
Tak—
As the rain stopped falling, Caius found himself standing in the middle of a white void.
His mind felt liberated and his thoughts clearer.
In spite of all of this, he still didn’t feel his emotions.
Holding onto his chest, he paused.
‘When will I get my emotions back?’
He felt like he was close to reaching a breakthrough in that regard, but at the same time, it also felt incredibly far.
‘…Will I ever get them back?’
As Caius was lost in his own thoughts, he suddenly heard a voice coming from the distance.
“That was incredibly great. Awesome. You were amazing.”
Raising his head, he saw Julien standing beside the old man, who was eyeing Julien with an unmistakable frown.
That was when Julien pointed at him.
“That’s what he wants to say, but he’s shy.”
“I knew it!”
The old man glared at Julien.
“What? Your face said it all.”
Did it?
Caius hadn’t been paying attention.
“That’s nonsense.”
“Is it?”
“…..”
The old man opened his mouth, only to close it again, crossing his arms with a sigh. Julien glanced at him briefly before turning his gaze to Caius.
‘He’s shy.’
He mouthed quietly, prompting the corner of Caius’s lips to pull.
He didn’t realize it himself, but Julien noticed as his brow rose for a short moment before settling back.
“Not bad…” Mumbling to himself, Julien turned his head and looked towards the last projection. His expression soon turned somewhat complex. The same was true for the old man who clicked his tongue.
“Unexpected.”
When Caius followed their line of sight, his eyes fell on the projection they were looking at and his face paused.
Because…
‘Red.’
All he could see was the color red.
Standing in the middle of the sea of red was a single person.
Kaelion.
It was a massacre.