“You look a little lost, Headmaster Astoria. What appears to be on your mind?” Vaan casually inquired shortly after arriving next to her near the edge of Ninth Peak’s entrance to the land of fire revealed below.
“Teacher Raphna, you’re here,” Astoria acknowledged Vaan’s presence with a nod before shaking her head. “It’s nothing much. It’s just that all this time, I’ve been fighting the demons under the assumption that if we don’t win, humans would either go extinct or get enslaved by them.”
“However, I’ve learned that there are more humans throughout Chaos and possibly among the stars. And among such humans, there are individuals even more powerful than the Gehenna’s Great Devils. Thus, I am a little lost as to what to do from here.”
“Even if we lose to Gehenna, there are still humans living more prosperous lives out there than us,” Astoria mentioned with a blank look.
“Do you feel that what you’ve done for the human race up until now doesn’t hold much meaning anymore, Headmaster Astoria?” Vaan calmly asked.
“I know there was meaning in what I’ve done, Teacher Raphna,” Astoria firmly stated before adding, “However, learning there are other humans out there has certainly weakened my determination. The situation doesn’t seem as desperate.”
“That’s only if you only consider the human race in its entirety.” Vaan smiled slightly and said, “Maybe it’s time you stop thinking about others and start thinking for yourself, Headmaster Astoria.”
“I’m sure you’re already aware, but we are currently living on borrowed time. Should the Gehenna’s Great Devils suddenly decide to invade our world with their full force, we hardly have the power to resist at all. We would have no choice but to forfeit our lives as we know them.”
“However, you see, I want to be in control of my life. Thus, regardless of whether there are other humans out there or not, I will still be doing everything I can to win up until the end,” Vaan firmly stated.
If there were one thing he learned from working in a black company in his past life, it would be that if one had the ability to rise above others, do it; don’t settle for the bottom position and never put one’s life in another’s hand to dictate.
With the world being ruled by the strong, believing in the compassion of others was a ticket to a short life.
“You want to be in control of your life, huh?” Astoria dwelled on Vaan’s words before uttering, “You have a strong attachment to life, Teacher Raphna. However, the same cannot be said about me—”
Shortly after she spoke, she suddenly paused.
Thinking back on her life, even before Gehenna’s connection brought mana to the world and changed everything, she had always thought about the people.
She never spared much thought for herself; it was how she was raised.
Astoria appeared a little lost in thought.
“If you can’t live for yourself, then live for me, Headmaster Astoria,” Vaan suddenly said boldly, almost sounding like a confession. Nevertheless, he continued, “I naturally have a strong attachment to life. We are just specks of dust in this infinitely vast world. There’s still so much to learn, so much to discover.”
“Yet, human life is not long enough to experience everything the world has to offer—or so I thought. However, I’ve come to learn that even humans can become gods and immortals. Thus, that is what I now seek. The eternal path will give me the lifespan required to journey through the infinite realms and find the answers to all the questions my curious mind can conjure.”
“Still, I don’t doubt that such a path comes with solitude and loneliness if I don’t have a companion to accompany me. I wonder if you would care to join me on such an endeavor, Headmaster Astoria?” Vaan gazed at her with a serious question.
“It almost sounds like a proposal,” Astoria casually commented with a slight smile before saying with a more solemn look, “However, I can’t give you an immediate answer, Teacher Raphna.”
“Considering we are far from being capable enough to travel the myriad realms and stars freely, it sounds nothing more than a dream. And interesting as it may sound, I’m not so sure I can put everything behind me and leave to travel the vast world.”
“A fair point,” Vaan calmly acknowledged with a nod before saying, “Nevertheless, it’s good to have a dream. It gives us a sense of purpose and something to work towards.”
“You won’t ever feel lost if you have a dream you truly wish to realize, Headmaster Astoria,” Vaan stated with a smile.
“A dream, huh?” Astoria quietly muttered to herself with a thoughtful look.
She had no dream, only responsibilities imparted by others. She truly hasn’t been living life for herself all this time. Even protecting Vaan was just part of that responsibility to the human race.
“A dream… I guess it is good to have one. Thanks, Teacher Raphna. It has been pleasant talking to you tonight,” Astoria stated with a smile before sighing, “Unfortunately, none of what we do here matters.”
Every memory related to our time in the dragon tribe will be wiped once we decide to leave,” Astoria mentioned.
“Not necessarily, Headmaster Astoria,” Vaan shook his head and said, “Lord Narvim mentioned that those that overcome the second stage in the land of fire’s Trial by Fire are allowed to retain their memories.”
“I’ve previously expressed my intention to challenge the Trial by Fire, and my mind has not changed since then,” Vaan stated.
“I can’t allow you to do that, Teacher Raphna,” Astoria firmly objected with a serious look before mentioning, “Even Her Majesty barely made it out of the Trial by Fire alive despite her great power. A person of your level will only throw away your life by attempting it. I won’t allow it.”
“Oh? So you’ve also heard about Her Majesty challenging the Trial by Fire from the dragons in the tribe,” Vaan commented with understanding before he casually smiled. “Nevertheless, you should have known what kind of person I am by now.”
“I don’t gamble with my life, and I don’t take unnecessary risks,” Vaan confidently stated before adding, “I don’t have enough lives for that.”