"It's not wrong of you to tell them that you don't know." Dr. Moore pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "An alternative to 'I don't know' is a 'we'll see'. It groups you and the questioning party together and put you on the same side."
"I guess." I sighed.
Noah started to pull his lunch out, placing it on the desk. "You don't mind if we eat here, do you?"
Dr. Moore laughed. "No problem." He pulled a drawer open and pulled out a brown-sacked lunch. "I eat in here too."
"You don't eat with the other teachers and stuff?" Noah asked.
He shook his head, opening his lunch. "I like to stay in my office when you kiddos have your breaks. You never know who might come by unannounced."
"Do a lot of students come by?" I asked, wanting to know.
He raised an eyebrow. "Define 'a lot'?"
I shrugged. I just wanted to know if there were more kids like me, struggling, and needed the help of a therapist.
He sighed. "It's not a big number compared to other schools, but the number is higher than I like. In a perfect world, no child or teenager would need a therapist." He looked at me. "Does it make you feel better knowing that others need to see me too?"
Embarrassed, I turned to my lunch, trying to avoid eye contact.
Dr. Moore laughed. "It's okay if you feel that way. Nothing wrong with it. No one wants to feel alone." He opened his banana. "So what did you want to talk about before?"
I shrunk. "More Jeremy stuff. I talked it out though, I think."
"Oh?"
"With Zeke." Noah said between bites of his sandwich.
"Interesting. Why don't you tell me what's going on and how you're handling it?" Dr. Moore relaxed into his seat and ate his food.
I swallowed. "Well...I just feel disconnected from Jeremy. We've spoken a few times. A few texts. But, it doesn't feel like a normal brother-brother relationship."
He nodded, silently telling me to continue.
"I, I, I mentioned it with Noah and Zeke. Zeke said I should have a more in-depth conversation with him. Since I don't know anything about him and he doesn't know anything about me." I told him all about the conversation we had in the living room.
Dr. Moore didn't interrupt and waited patiently for me to finish. After I told him what we talked about the game, he got his notepad out and started to take notes. "Good. Good. That's great. To improve relationships of any kind, it requires communication between both parties."
"He's coming by for dinner on Sunday night." I added.
"How do you feel about it?"
"A little awkward. A stranger coming over for dinner." I told him.
"If I may suggest...have some alone time with him." Dr. Moore said. "Only if you want to, that is. Both of you might be more willing to open up without an audience."
"Oh. Okay." I thought about it, and I could probably take him to the backyard after dinner or something. "What do we talk about?"
"Anything you want." He smiled. "Try to make a list of everything you want to know about him. You can add to it as you think of more questions. And then on the reverse side, you can add what you want to tell him. What you want him to know about you."
Noah's phone vibrated, cutting our talk short. "It's Kaylee! She has her and her friend's release form. We have a team!" He jumped up and packed his lunch. Then stopped. He looked at me. "Do you mind if we go?"
I smiled and packed up what was left of my lunch. "Yea, I just wanted to catch Dr. Moore up on what's happening."
"I'll be here for lunch, Monday through Friday." Dr. Moore told me. "You have my number if any emergency crops up. Enjoy the rest of your lunch."
"Sure! Thanks!" Noah opened up the door and walked out first.
I waved before leaving. "Thanks for listening."
"That's what I'm here for." He smiled.
I hurried after Noah, following him to the quad. We spotted Kaylee with her friends from before. Noah waved and shouted her name, drawing attention to us. Normally, the other teens would just glance our way and then go back to doing their own thing. But not today. Today, everyone knew who I was and who I was related to. Their eyes stayed on us, making me shift uncomfortably.
Kaylee came over, passing the papers to Noah. "Here ya go." She glanced at me. "Everyone's been talking about you today."
I looked away.
"It's just talk." Noah patted my shoulder. "Jake and Jeremy are brothers, but it's complicated."
"Life is complicated." Kaylee agreed. "Are we going to practice at all for this softball league?"
Noah shrugged. "I'm not sure. We can have a team meeting after I get the game schedule. I'll pass it out and then we can take a vote then. We can also talk about positioning and Zeke will pass out the rules. He said some of them really differ from normal softball."
"Duh. It's for adults. And for a coed team." She rolled her eyes. "I just hope the games aren't too far otherwise we'll be bumming rides of you guys."
"We?"
"Me and KJ. Neither of us can drive."
Noah blinked. "What about your parents?"
She glanced away. "They'll be busy with Marie stuff all summer. They're only letting me do this because it's free and they don't have to give rides. KJ only has a mom, who works two jobs so it's also difficult for her."
"Oh." Noah scratched his face. "I'm sure Zeke will be okay with it. There's also Alisha. She won't be able to drive. We'll coordinate during the team meeting."
"Okay, let us know when and where."
"The old man said the schedule will be made on Tuesday so it won't be until Wednesday, maybe after. Like the weekend?"
"Next weekend." She nodded. "Okay. I'll let KJ know."
The school bell rung, signaling it was the end of lunch and time to go to our next class. Kaylee went back to her group to get her backpack while Noah was busy stuffing the papers in his bag.
"Hey..." Noah stood up straight after putting the forms away. "If Kyle gives you a hard time in class or says something out of line, let me know."
I hesitated. "It's fine." Kyle wasn't being outright mean to me. It feels kind of childish to tattle on him to his younger brother. "I'll just sit on the other side of Dave."
Noah scrunched up his nose. "Okay, I'll see you in Health." He hurried to his class and I went to mine.
It turned out that I didn't need to force Dave to sit between me and Kyle. Because there was no Kyle.
"He didn't come to any classes today." Dave told me with raised eyebrows. "I sent Dad a text to ask about it, but apparently it was Dad's idea to keep him out for the day. I wonder what they're doing?"
"Probably talking?" I thought of the bench by the beach. It would be a nice day to watch the waves roll in.
"I wish I could skip school for a talk with Dad." Dave sighed.
I grinned, thinking of something funny. "Maybe you should try? On Monday?"
Dave scooted closer to me. "Do you know something?" I laughed. "You do know something! Tell me! What are they're going to try and pull on Monday?"
I shook my head. "I really don't know. Noah and I have nothing planned."
"But Zeke does?" He collapsed on the desk. "Oh man. I don't think I'll be able to sleep all weekend."