Life is always like this. It gives you hope and then disappoints you, making you dumbfounded as well as physically and mentally exhausted, as if it would only be satisfied by doing so.
All the things that had happened during this period of time caused Qin Sheng to be mentally exhausted. Before one thing came to an end, a new one popped up, not giving him to chance to take a breather at all, as if it wanted to challenge his limits.
Tonight’s event tortured him once again. It tortured this man who had suffered more than enough setbacks and challenges, making him withstand the pressure that did not come with his age.
It was so difficult for him to reunite with his long-lost older sister, to recall his childhood, and even recognize his mother who always appeared in his dreams. This was supposed to be a happy occasion. Qin Sheng also looked forward to reuniting with his mother. This was the biggest dream of an orphan. However, god played a joke on him by telling him that his mother had already passed away.
This joke was a little overboard for Qin Sheng. Only he knew how it felt like, which was why he knelt on the ground, buried his head and bawled, releasing all the stress and grievances he had felt all these while.
The son wanted to take care of his parent, but she was no longer there.
Hope turned to despair, happiness turned to sorrow. If Qin Sheng did not have a strong character, he would already have broken down at this huge fall. To many people, this was nothing special. Life would not give a damn about whether or not you could handle it. It did not care if you refuse to accept, escape, be sorrowful, furious, etc. You have to face it anyway. You would then be forced to grow up, become mature, full of vicissitudes and used to it.
Initially, Qin Ran wanted to bring him to the old house. This was the place that he stayed at when he was young. It should be able to help him to recall things of the past and also bring their relationship closer. It would be best if he could recall, but it was fine if it did not work. She then planned to bring Qin Sheng back to siheyuan to meet Qin Changan.
However, she did not expect him to remember the things of the past here but not plan to leave. Instead, he wanted to stay here overnight.
Qin Ran recalled how sorrowful he looked before Mother’s offering table and could not help but feel terrible. She knew that he definitely could not bear to leave Mother and wanted to stay with her longer. Otherwise, he would not have talked to himself in front of Mother for three hours like a lunatic.
Hence, Qin Ran agreed. However, this house had been unoccupied for many years, it did not even have the basic necessities. However, this was not a difficult task for Qin Ran.
Qin Ran said to Qin Sheng, “Take a break first, I’ll get them to bring some things over.”
Qin Sheng nodded. He was once extremely familiar with this place. This place had all of his childhood memories in Beijing. He felt both familiar and foreign with this place. Qin Sheng had to find back those memories slowly, so he casually looked around the old house and those old photos.
Qin Ran walked to the balcony and called Qin Changan.
Beijing’s winter was very cold. Gongsun and the rest had already been waiting downstairs for four hours. Luckily, they were in the car. If they were outside, they would have frozen to death. Currently, it was already 2 a.m. Not only Gongsun was waiting, even Qin Changan who had returned to the siheyuan was also waiting to reunite with Qin Sheng.
To a half-century-old man who had experienced everything life had to offer, there was already nothing as important as reuniting with his biological son.
When Gongsun received Qin Ran’s call, he laughed and said, “Ranran, it’s already 2 a.m., your father is still waiting. Can we go now?”
Qin Ran smiled bitterly, “Uncle Gongsun, tell him we’re not going back tonight. Qin Sheng wants to stay here. We’ll go back tomorrow at noon.”
“Ah? Stay here?” Gongsun repeated in confusion but he understood it immediately. Qin Sheng must have recalled the things of the past, otherwise, he would not have requested to stay here.
Qin Ran nodded silently. “Yea, so Uncle Gongsun, can you get someone to send some necessities over? We have nothing here.”
“Okay, don’t worry about it. I’ll make the call right away and send it to you later,” Gongsun promised without hesitation. To him, no matter how troublesome or difficult it is, he would still be willing to do it, as this was a big event in the Qin family.
After the call, Gongsun fist arranged for someone to send the things over. After which, he then called Qin Changan. Otherwise, he would continue waiting.
“Ranran said that Young Master wanted to stay at the old house tonight and they would only go over tomorrow. I’ve sent someone to send them the things needed. You should rest early,” Gongsun said calmly.
“Okay.” Qin Changan was still calm in whatever he did. Nothing would cause him to lose his composure. He only felt a little disappointed, but he could understand.
After the call, Qin Ran returned to the living room. Qin Sheng was staring blankly at a photo on the wall. It was a photo of Mother carrying him. It seemed to be taken by the lake at Beihai Park. Mother was kissing his cheeks and both of them were smiling very happily.
Qin Ran walked to him slowly and stood beside him. “This is when you were three. Our whole family went to Beihai Park. You were making a fuss and did not want to walk, so Mother had to carry you all the way,” Qin Ran said in a soft voice.
Qin Sheng’s gaze was complicated. He bit on his lower lip tightly and said, “Sis, how did Mother die?”
“When you were five, a car accident took her away. The car accident was very strange. It was a hit-and-run and the driver left not a single clue. Till today, he is still not caught. During those years, many things happened in our family. After Mother passed away, our Grandfather, who had disappeared for many years, appeared suddenly. Without any preamp, he took you away. Our Eldest Uncle who had a bright future in front of him and whom everyone had a high expectation of suddenly quit his job in the Ministries and Commissions without warning. Immediately after, he divorced. Afterward, he went to Mountain Wutai and became a monk, shocking everyone. Meanwhile, his wife went all the way to Canada and never came back,” Qin Ran said clearly. She only learned of all these at a later stage. Many people refrain from speaking about these things from this period of time. No matter how she tried to find out, she did not get any information.
These were all things that had happened, but there were still many things that Qin Ran had yet to say. That is, when the Qin family was shattered, only one man took up the role as the pillar of the family and gritted his teeth through all the hardships. Eventually, this man gained his success and stood out from the rest completely. This man was their father, Qin Changan. Although Qin Ran complained about her Father for many things, she was still wholeheartedly in awe of this man who went against all odds. In order to get to where he was today, Father put in a lot and went through a lot.
Qin Sheng did not expect things to be this complicated. The more he listened, the more furrowed his brows become. His instinct told him that the situation back then was not as easy as it looked. There was definitely a conspiracy planned against the Qin family.
However, he also gathered some other rough information about the Qin family from his sister’s short speech. That is, other than an older sister and a father, he also had an Uncle who was being a monk in Mountain Wutai, as well as an Aunt in Canada.
“Sis, don’t worry, I will definitely find the culprit from back then and give Mother an explanation.” Even though most of his memories about Mother remained in his childhood, it did not affect his affection towards Mother. This affection was irreplaceable. Even though his sister did not specify, Qin Sheng’s instinct told him that Mother was killed by someone. Anyone would think that for such big revenge, a son would do anything possible to get hold of the enemy and give a fair explanation to his late mother.
Qin Ran held her brother’s hand and said with a gentle gaze, “I believe in you.”
Qin Ran could understand how he felt. Anyone would do the same. However, Qin Ran did not want to let Qin Sheng get involved in the incident back then. After all, things back then were very complicated. Whoever dared to lay a finger on the Qin family was definitely not a normal person. However, Qin Ran did not say it, as it would be a blow to him.
Worried that he would continue asking about things of the past, Qin Ran quickly changed the topic, “Let’s not talk about those small things. Let me tell you about your childhood. You were so smart, everyone liked the playful child. Every time we went to Grandma’s house, Grandpa and Grandma would insist on letting you stay a few more days. Whenever there was something nice, Uncle always bought them for you the first thing. I was jealous. But after coming home, you would give them all to me. Also, no matter who asked you for your red packet money, you would insist on making me keep them. Everyone laughed at it.”
While saying these stories, Qin Ran laughed. Qin Sheng also could not help it. He did not expect himself to be so likable when he was young. He asked casually, “Is Grandma and Grandpa still around?”
Qin Ran led him to the sofa and they sat down. “Well, Grandpa passed away a few years ago. He still thought about you when he passed. He said that you are his biggest regret, that he did not get to see his grandson again. But Grandma is still healthy and alive. Sometimes she would be in Beijing, and sometimes in Shanghai. Now, she’s in Sanya for winter. After some time, I’ll bring you to visit them. They would definitely not believe it,” Qin Ran said between laughter.
Qin Sheng nodded and said “Okay.”
The word ‘relative’ was both simple and complicated, but nothing could change the blood flowing through your veins.
The two siblings continued to chat and talked about their childhood. They talked about their relatives, the elderly and those their generation, right until the person that Gongsun sent to deliver necessities arrived.
There was a bed in the secondary bedroom. It was already re-arranged by now, with new bedsheets and quilt, etc. Qin Sheng asked his sister to sleep in the room while he would just crash on the couch for the night. Qin Ran tried to reject but he would not have it no matter what. Eventually, she could only listen to his arrangements.
After saying goodnight to his sister and sending Gongsun and the rest off, Qin Sheng turned off the lights and laid down on the sofa. Although Beijing’s winter was very cold, there was a heater in the old house, so it was not cold at all.
Qin Sheng could not fall asleep no matter what. He kept on thinking about things. He was still very disappointed and full of regrets that he did not get to meet his mother again. If, and only if, he could meet his mother again, he would use anything to exchange for it. However, it was destined to be impossible. It was destined to be a regret.
Qin Sheng fell asleep unknowingly. He had a very good sleep. It was the first time in so many years that he felt so close to his mother, as if he found the feeling of Mother trying to make him fall asleep in her arms when he was still a child.
The corner of his lips curled up as he entered dreamland. His eyes even thinned into a line and he even smiled happily.
This was because he dreamt of his mother again. This time around, her face was no longer blurry…