After that kind of steamy time with Shio, we drove back to our house. The car became full of the erotic scent from what we did that even the air-conditioning of the car failed to clear it up instantly.
Filling up the longing that we will be having for each other, this time with her became worthwhile.
When we arrived home, though still a bit reserved, I saw that Aya managed to fit in with Akane helping her to not let her be left out.
Since she’s the first classmate I brought home, Akane was also excited at talking to her, though her questions were all about me, Aya didn’t find that topic boring and instead, she became more enthusiastic that when we’re talking about her books.
Err… both of them could see the different side of me after all, that’s why they almost have never-ending topics revolving around me. Aya’s providing her how I acted at school and Akane was telling her how I was at home or even the past that involves me and herself.
Once we’re done eating dinner, Shio took a shower first because of how sticky we became earlier while Akane and Aya continued their topic at the living room.
I excused myself to them first to go up and check on Miwa-nee. It’s been a while since I last talked to her about us.
When I arrived in their room, Minoru was already asleep while Miwa-nee was at her side.
Upon seeing me, Miwa-nee stood up and went towards where I am to avoid waking Minoru up.
“What is it, Ruki?”
“Just checking on you Miwa-nee, we never had the time to talk these past few days. Even though we’re at the same house.”
That was because it’s either I was too busy with something or Miwa-nee was focused on taking care of Minoru.
“Are you still worried about us?”
Miwa-nee asked as she looked over the sleeping Minoru. That boy was sleeping so well but..
“That won’t change, you know? Minoru, how is he coping without his… father?”
Taking the topic in this direction, I know she will always dodge it and divert it to another direction or she doesn’t really want to tell me. But I want to know, and I want her to know that I already know this time.
“… He’s not really attached to him. It’s more like, after a year, his father stopped doting on him.”
Miwa-nee fell in her thoughts for a while before answering
Only after a year? He’s probably not talking yet at the time. I don’t really know what happened to her during these 5 years but, did she suffer? I don’t know unless Miwa-nee told me what happened to her, to them.
“Why?”
“… I can’t tell you, Ruki.”
This again… Haa.
Then I’ll tell her now.
“Miwa-nee, the truth is I already knew about Minoru. Even if you don’t tell me, you already slipped once. If Akane and other girls could notice the resemblance, then I would be an idiot if I didn’t notice it. You don’t have to hide it anymore.”
I had that dangerous situation during my confrontation with Shio’s husband recently. If things went wrong, I wouldn’t really be able to stand here before her again. I wouldn’t have the chance to tell her that I already know that Minoru is… my son, our son. Though I don’t know how that happened. It should be that night before she left 5 years ago. She thinks it’s too heavy for me but in truth, she just wanted to carry the burden alone. Because she did it without my knowledge, she probably believed that she had to carry it alone because it’s her fault that it happened or maybe she’s only planning to tell it to me when I also become an adult like her.
But I don’t want that, she’s mine. This might just be my possessiveness towards her or them but I don’t plan on giving them back to her husband. I might be the worst father for Minoru but… they’re also included in that future.
Upon hearing what I said, Miwa-nee was speechless that it took her a few minutes to form a word to answer.
“… you knew.”
However, I have to break down more of her defenses, she might still deny it after all. Right now, she’s the same as my other girls. If they have problems, I’ll try my best to help them.
Miwa-nee chose to keep it all to herself, carrying all the burden alone. I have to open her up, just like with Shio.
“You said it will be heavy for me but isn’t that the same for you? You’re carrying it all alone these past years. Let me in, Miwa-nee, let’s carry it together. Can you rely on me this time? No. Please, rely on me as well.”
It’s much better to clear this up now than wait for later. Who knows what might happen? Accidents are a thing so I better clear this up to her now. At least, we can now start thinking about what to do.
Miwa-nee didn’t answer immediately and instead, she only stared at me with seriousness in her eyes. Maybe for her, Minoru’s well-being was now her top priority. Even if she loves me, she will still think of him before us.
After a while, Miwa-nee released a deep sigh.
“Ruki. Minoru is a result of my selfishness, that’s why as much as possible, I don’t want to involve you. Everything that happened can only be blamed on me. His birth, this failed marriage, your desire, it’s all the results of my decisions. That’s why I don’t want to burden you with it…”
At this point, she released another sigh before her body weakly fell towards my direction. I caught her and held her in my arms.
A short while later, I could feel her arms clinging tightly to me as my shoulder started to get wet from her tears.
“Don’t mind my tears, Ruki. It’s partly because I’m sad and partly because I’m happy. I’m sad because none of this would’ve happened if not for my selfishness; the change in you, Minoru, everything. And I’m happy because of what you said. Ruki. I’m afraid, if I rely on you, what if–”
Before she could finish her sentence, I cut her off. She will just keep thinking negatively if I let her. It might be true that everything was her fault but the past has already passed. We just have to correct it or live with it in this present and the future.
“Don’t own it up to yourself, Miwa-nee. My shoulder might not be broad enough yet but in due time, I will lift it up for you. For the two of you. Forget about the past, we couldn’t change it now but this present and the coming future, we still can.”
“Are you sure? You have that future you wanted to achieve, Ruki.”
She looked up and asked. I used my fingers to dry her face of the tears that ran through it.
I didn’t know if that’s a glimmer of hope that I saw in her eyes but at least, I could see that it changed, the negativity of blaming herself lessened.
“You’re a part of that future, Miwa-nee. You’re mine, Minoru is ours, it could be said that we have a deeper bond than most.”
Even without her asking, she’s already included in it. Now that she acknowledged that Minoru is mine, even more so.
“You know that Minoru will start asking questions when he starts to think for himself if you manage to realize that future you envisioned.”
“Then. We’ll all help him understand. That our situation is unique. Not only the two of us but the other girls will also help as well, they’ll be like his other mothers. You know how they’re fond of him.”
“Mothers… You’re really adamant about that future?”
“Yes, I am. It might sound like boasting for now but I’ll work hard to realize it so… Will you join me, Miwa-nee?”
I have to ask them like this, to know their thoughts. But in Miwa-nee’s case…
“Will you even take no as my answer?”
“I’ll just have to ask you again if that’s the case.”
I’ll continue asking her even if she refused many times over.
“Even if I’m already at this age, I also want to be your wife, Ruki.”
“We’ll find a way to make that happen.”
“Un. Ruki, I don’t know if it’s fine for me to be this happy… After every selfish thing that I did.”
“Be happy if you’re happy, no one’s gonna restrain you here. And like I told you, let the past stay in the past. Just look forward, Miwa-nee.”
Though I said that, I’m still looking at correcting my past mistakes. Well, Miwa-nee needed this phrase the most rather than me. 𝙣𝒗.𝒎
“Then I’ll try… You can go back down now, someone’s waiting for you.”
“Right. But Miwa-nee, will you tell me what happened to you during the 5 years that you’re gone?”
“When there’s a time like this again, I will. Go on.”
Though she said ‘Go on’, Miwa-nee hugged me tightly and continued the tears that stopped earlier. She’s still feeling bad. That’s why I spent more time inside their room until she calmed down. There’s currently no bright future but we’ll put lamps during this present to brighten it up. Not just for us but also for everyone.