Her feet, clad in tabi socks for grip, slid gently across the polished floor of the combat dojo in her family mansion. Her blue and white hakama fluttered as she swung her sword, the heavy bamboo of the practice blade, which was weighted with lead inside, whistling menacingly as it slashed down at the shoulder of the girl in front of her, likewise attired, her pretty face, framed by short brown curls, twisted into an expression of intense concentration.
“Hah!” The girl, Natsumi, her student and long-time friend cried out, bringing up her own weighted sword. They clashed, the sound shockingly loud in the quiet training hall, before Motoko slid backwards, gaining a position where her blade could sweep in from the side after the parry, finishing the fight. Still, for once it was not to be. That was… excellent!
Natsumi was breathing heavily, her muscles trembling under her white sleeves, yet somehow she had managed to get her sword up to parry, and the blades were locked in a cross shape. The move had been swift indeed, and was not entirely the traditional forms of Tsumura swordplay, though it bore some similarity to many of the counters. “I… managed to block you, Motoko!” She declared, before losing her grip on the sword as it slid from her sweaty palms, the effort too much, holding the sword so awkwardly. “But I guess I still lose. How frustrating.” She pouted, sinking to her knees, spent.
Even so, you look happy. “You do not look too frustrated.” She observed, lowering her own wooden sword and reaching out, helping Natsumi back to her feet. “That move. It was the third form of the reverse counter, was it not? Still, the angle is different. It reminds me a little of…” she paused, face hot. I must have exerted myself too much, I am very warm.
“Yes.” Natsumi nodded. “What Akio-sensei showed us before. The angle of the blade. He isn’t terribly skilled, but he has good instincts. I just thought… the only way I would make it in time to block your strike was to angle the third form differently.” She paused. “Is… is that wrong?”
Motoko shook her head. “I do not think it is. It is still the third form, and even if it was not, if this was battle, what use would it be taking the stance and parrying when you knew it would be futile and you would die?” She brushed her hime-cut straight bangs out of her eyes and mopped at her sweat with a blue handkerchief, before untying the matching ribbon that tied her long hair back into a ponytail during practice. “Sometimes I envy your short hair, Natsumi. But mother and father say nobles should have long hair to show status. It does get in the way of practise though.”
“Well I think you look lovely.” Natsumi disagreed. “My hair just looks stupid if I grow it out, it’s too curly. And considering that my family makes antique kimonos and wedding gowns from traditional Japanese textiles and techniques, when I wear them for catalogues and exhibits I don’t look right. Japanese girls should have long hair.” She smiled then, impishly. “Besides, I believe Akio-sensei likes long hair on girls. Eri-senpai and Shaeula-sensei both have long hair.”
Motoko felt her face flush then, the temperature increasing despite her no longer exerting her body. The girls at his hometown talked about this. It is… embarrassment, no? Ignoring the urge to cover her reddening face, Motoko managed a poised nod, her pupil and bodyguard-in-name smiling kindly at her. “Well, that… that does not matter, does it? We declared out intent when we knelt before him, asking for the boon of marriage. Whether I have long hair or not… well, I suppose it does matter, as it is a wife’s task to appeal to her husband’s tastes. Perhaps I should be grateful.” It is quite complicated, these feelings. I had my resolve, and I knelt, imploring. I asked Eri-sensei for her blessing as well. Yet since then…
“The news is out. Hinata has officially become engaged with Akio-sensei.” Natsumi sighed. “Despite you taking the initiative, Motoko-san, you have let it slip. It isn’t as though I don’t understand why, but… I don’t like to see you so uncertain.”
Yes, I am uncertain. Not regarding my wish to marry someone who will allow me to keep both my family honour and the path of the warrior. That is my dream. But that Akio-sensei is the one.
“This isn’t like you, Motoko-san. You are always so resolute, so bold. It is why the other daughters of nobility look up to you, especially from the Three-Hundred such as my family. You are kind and approachable, never condescending to those below your family. You took me on and treated me not only as your bodyguard, but as your friend. And I adore you for that. So please, if I can help, tell me how! What’s wrong?”
Yes, what is wrong? “That parry.” She changed the subject, though it did have some relevance, and would help order her thoughts. “Even though it is not the arts of our family, not purely, it still has value. Our arts must change if we are to pass them down. Your family techniques are still as they were hundreds of years ago, right? Yet the dyes, the patterns, the cuts, they have changed to match the tastes of the era.”
“Yes, we make some very nice modern dresses too now, and even western-style bridal outfits. I would like to see you in one, Motoko-san!”
“I would be happy to wear it, if it was made by you, Natsumi.” Motoko sighed, looking down at her practice sword, and her hand, which was not the soft hand of a noble girl like Hinata, or even a normal schoolgirl one could find anywhere like Eri-senpai. “Still, I must be honest with myself. He… Akio-sensei. He does not wish for us, does he?” She looked down, feeling mortified and shamed. “The look on his face when we knelt to him was unpleasant, and every time we have broached the subject… it hurts both my pride, and… what use a wife that only drags her husband down? I would shame myself, my family, our ancestors… even the arts we wield.”
“So that’s what you’ve been thinking. I see.” Natsumi said, fetching Motoko-san a towel and even fussing over her, mopping her sweat. “I should have guessed, after all, no-one else knows you better than me!” She declared. “Can I be honest with you, Motoko-san?”
“You can, always.” She protested. “And I am sure I told you simply to call me Motoko now. After all, we are both to be wed to… oh.” She trailed off, and Natsumi giggled gently.
“Well, I was overly hasty. My situation is… not quite… as grim as yours, Motoko.” She omitted the honorific, flushing, her eyes moist. “Our techniques are carried on by skilled artisans the family has hired. I need to know them, of course, and must have children to carry on the family, being the heir and only child of our house, but compared to the pressure you feel, my family is humble in comparison. But still…” she pressed on. “I’ll be forced to give up the Tsumura arts when either of us marry, and when you graduate school I’ll no longer be your bodyguard. We’ll be separated, and I’ll rarely ever see you again. and I hate that.” Natsumi declared vehemently. “Motoko, I can’t imagine being without you. Training together, spending time together, it’s the happiest I’ve ever been.”
“I feel the same way. Having someone who shares my enthusiasm for the family arts, someone I can talk honestly with despite the difference in rank, a friend. I treasure you, Natsumi.”
She nodded. “That… that was why I asked Akio-sensei to marry me also. That way I could stay by your side, we could always be together. We would carry forth your family arts and teach them to our children, and use them in battle, side by side.” She sighed. “What you are feeling, I feel it a thousand times more keenly. I am a bad girl.” She looked down, and Motoko felt the urge to hug her consolingly, although that was not what a refined, noble girl would do, so she refrained.
“So, you have no liking for Akio-sensei?” Motoko asked, curious. “That is not necessarily a problem for arranged marriages, but…”
“… but like you, it makes me feel awful.” She conceded. “Still, I wouldn’t say I have no liking for him. He seems kind, I can tell that by the girls he loves. A cruel man wouldn’t make them smile so when they talk of him. He is strong too. I would hate to marry a man weaker than myself. He seemed a decent choice, and when you expressed your desires I made up my mind. I would marry the same man as you! Still, if he was put off by your proposal, mine must have positively dismayed him. After all, your house has much to offer, Motoko. I am merely a hanger-on. And it seems he believes in love.”
Yes, I noticed during our trip to his hometown, and the more I have considered it, the more sure I am. He is not concerned about what rewards and profits a marriage will bring, unlike the nobility. No, he genuinely adores Shaeula-sensei and Eri-senpai. I do not think there is any room for us. She said as much, and Natsumi actually embraced her. She stiffened, wondering what was going on, and Natsumi giggled mischievously.
“I always wanted to do this. Seeing the play of normal girls made me wish we could be more open. They were so lively. Though their choice of conversation was often baffling. Sex. After all, is that not just to please our husbands and beget children to continue our lines? I thought so, but apparently Eri-senpai was delighted to spend her birthday with Akio-sensei, and Shaeula-senpai said she loves it too.”
“Yes, I admit to being curious. But it is not something we can ask, is it?” Motoko could feel the warmth of her friend, and gingerly reached out her own arms, hugging her too. Natsumi sighed, her giggles dropping in volume, before she stared right into her eyes, serious.
“No, but it also shows we don’t know everything. if you truly want Akio-sensei to accept you, then you need to be honest. I for one still think it is the best choice. And not just because I’m selfish. I have my pride too, and I’ll be a wonderful wife, the match of Eri-senpai, Shaeula-senpai or even you, Motoko. So he does not love us yet. To us, that should be no worry at all. Instead, we should be more like Hinata-san. After all, she’s been very happy since the engagement. We should speak to her. And your grandfather. But first… Motoko. I tell you honestly. I want to spend my life with you, together, and I want to continue training. I’ll learn Tsumura arts, and I’ll take what I learn from others and make Tsumura arts even better, just as a kimono my family makes today might have modern dyes, contemporary patterns, and yet it’s still a traditional Hori-style kimono. I’ll be a wonderful wife, and raise strong and beautiful children. I want everything, even things it should be impossible to have together. I don’t love Akio-sensei yet either, but I never expected to love my husband, not right away.” She paused then, gathering her final thoughts, while Motoko watched on, her own thoughts churning, as they were wrapped in each other’s arms. “I do think he’s worthy of loving though. And if things were different and my parents had brought him to me as my arranged partner, I could have been happy with it, lessening the sting of losing you. So, even though he hated the idea, I’ll win him round. Besides, he does find me pretty, I know that.” She giggled again. “So, Motoko. Do you want this? If so, tell me, and I’ll help you!”
I never knew Natsumi felt so deeply about everything. I was a fool. But I do not wish to be parted from her either. The weight of all I could gain, all I no longer have to lose… perhaps it is crushing me. “Natsumi…” she began, hesitantly at first, but growing more confident. “I believe I was jealous of Shaeula-sensei and Eri-senpai. Jealous that they had everything they wanted, without the weight of responsibility we feel. Perhaps I was wrong, and selfish, to think so. After all, Shaeula-sensei is more noble than the Tsumura house, in a way. Her burden cannot be a light one. Besides, she told me she only knew Akio-sensei for a short time, yet she won his heart.”
“Go on. This is the time to be honest, otherwise our chance might fade. If we lose everything, after having hope it could all be ours, it would be crueller than never having hope at all.”
“I honestly wish to be the perfect wife. I want to be loved. It sounds so foolish when I say that. To demand a strong man who will cherish and love me, allow me to practise my arts and pass it on to the children, to allow you to stand by my side, equally happy. To bring honour to my family, for grandfather, father and mother to smile at my wedding, and for the daughters of the great houses, Fujiwara, Ichijou and Takatsukasa to bless me, perhaps even look on with envy. To know that even when he takes another concubine or mistress, that I am still loved and valued. And that they would all be good, kind girls I can befriend. It seems impossible. It is impossible for a daughter of Tsumura.” Motoko said. “But… but if it isn’t… if I could have it…” her voice broke, and she felt arms tighten around her, feeling the heartbeat of her closest, perhaps only friend. “… I want it.” she said, her voice so quiet it was barely audible. “But the more I see I can have it, the more I fear losing it. Ouch.”
Motoko let out a yelp of pain and stumbled, realising that Natsumi had let her go, and also rapped her on the head with her knuckles. As she rubbed at it, Natsumi grinned, bright tears in her own eyes. “I saw Akio-sensei do that to Shaeula-sensei when she was talking nonsense.” Natsumi was smiling warmly now, content. “And the Motoko I know is never afraid of anything. After all, you have fought against the wishes of the nobility all this time. Now, when victory is in sight, and Tsumura arts will be finally useful again, used to save Japan, you falter? No. Tell me honestly. Do you want to marry Akio-sensei? No… I think we should call him Akio now. Love or no, do you want him?”
Motoko nodded. “I do. I do not even really know what love is, but when I’m with him, together with you, I feel my heart race, and when I watch him swing a sword or spear, crude though it is, my face feels hot and I feel a yearning inside. Perhaps there might be another way for me to grasp most of what I wish for, but… I want this way. I wish for what Eri-se… Eri and Shaeula have. Hinata too, it appears.”
“Good.” Natsumi clapped. “In that case we should get cleaned up and speak to your grandfather and parents. You have been putting it off too long. I need to make a phone call as well. Perhaps more than one.” Natsumi ushered Motoko into the shower, and as she was pushed in, she realised she had finally shook off her indecision, thanks to her friend. Thank you Natsumi. I was too hasty, yet too cowardly. I should never have pressured Akio so suddenly. I am a daughter of true nobility, that was a failure as a woman. No, this time… I shall be honest, and proclaim my intent to win him over, not for what he can gain or what I can offer, but because he will wish me to be his!
********
“So, Hinata, why are you here?” Motoko asked, a little puzzled. Beside her, Natsumi apologised.
“I thought it would be for the best, Motoko. Now that your resolve has returned, I thought we should seek advice from someone who has proved far more adept than us at winning his heart.”
“I’m flattered.” Hinata giggled. She was dressed in Hanafubuki’s uniform, and her bodyguard Kazumi was likewise attired behind her, looking at them all with a wry expression. “Still, I’d hardly say I am adept at it. Though I’ll admit, I’m a greedy girl, and I want more than just to be a wife, I want to be a wife that is loved. Besides, I think I’ve liked him ever since I first laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. We are warned about such foolishness at school, but to think it’s really true.” She blushed, yet looked ahead without shame. “Still, we’ve talked, and while the way he accepted me was… well, I’ll be honest, we bullied him into it. I still feel bad about that.” She said wistfully. “That doesn’t matter. What does is, we’ve talked. Genuinely. And I understand him now. And I understand myself. So, do you both finally understand yourselves?”
“Wow, really? This?” A voice came from the screen of the phone Hinata had propped up on the table beside them. “I’m going to be late for school sorting out my bro’s polygamous love-life? Wow, life sure does throw you fastballs, right Eri?”
Beside her, the other girl on the display snorted sourly. “It isn’t like we didn’t know this was coming, Aiko. Still, I’d rather be involved now to prevent problems.”
“I really appreciate this.” Natsumi bowed politely to the screen. She had obtained the phone number of Akio’s sister when they had visited, as her interest in archery and beautiful Kyudo stance had impressed Natsumi and Motoko alike. “I would say it is for Motoko, but… honestly, I am warming to the idea of marriage more and more anyway.”
“I really liked the idea of marriage too. Especially when it was just me.” Eri said acerbically, but even so, she did not look away from the truth, and Motoko could respect that.
“Sorry, sorry!” Aiko slapped her hands together in a gesture of apology. “I know I helped push Shaeula and big bro together. I’m a bad best friend, like I said!”
“No you aren’t.” she sighed. “Akio would have refused Shaeula, despite it hurting them both, for me. I would have been overjoyed for a while, but in the end it would have poisoned my happiness. I have to accept it…” she looked at everyone crowded around the screen, and Motoko felt suddenly nervous, as if she was facing her grandfather in the dojo with bare blades. “… we have to accept it. The world is changing, and Akio… he has changed most of all. He’s out, even now, trying to save some other poor woman in trouble. Shaeula says there’s nothing going on, but I don’t trust her. With my life, sure, but with other women, never!”
“That is noble of him.” Motoko said, though admittedly, the thought of more rivals, when he had dismissed her, was a painful one.
“Yeah, my big bro is just overflowing with the need to save girls it seems. Still, it makes me feel a bit less special.” Aiko snorted, expression sour yet proud. “More to the point, he’s a soft touch. And a soft touch that somehow has the ability to make girls stronger if he loves them. Well, maybe he could do it with guys too, but wow, no way I want to see my bro going down that dark road!”
“If he does, I will stop him!” Eri avowed, clenching her fists resolutely. “I’m already up against half the world, I don’t want the other fifty percent as rivals too!”
“That’s your reason? Really?” Aiko sniggered.
“We are getting off-topic.” Hinata said. “I too spoke to Akio this morning, and he is likely going to be at the training school tonight with Shaeula, before they head off for more of whatever it is they do in that other world. So if you plan to make your move, it is tonight.”
At that Motoko found herself breathing faster, her heart beating out of her chest, her palms sweaty. It was then Natsumi flashed her a reassuring smile and whispered that she was nervous too. Swallowing down her fears, Motoko steeled herself for what was to come. I am strong. I pride myself on it. I will not let myself rush ahead carelessly, make mistakes and then retreat like a coward again!
“So, Eri. I have talked about it. You know I wish to marry Akio. You already have prior claim. But to the nobility that would not matter.”
“Yes, that is apparently true.” Eri agreed grumpily. “But we aren’t nobility. Still. Me. Shaeula. Hinata too it seems. When he accepted Shaeula, having him for my own was dead, and now he’s found room in his heart for Hinata as well, it’ll be difficult to deny him others. But I will.” She said ominously. “If the girls aren’t right for him, or if they don’t know how to share properly. I love Akio with all my heart.” She declared and beside her Aiko cheered annoyingly. Eri shot her a withering glance, before carrying on, ignoring her. “I seriously do. So I naturally want to spend a long life making happy memories with him. I dare say you want more out of him than a marriage in name only, just bearing children, right?”
“I do. I want what you have, Eri. To stand at his side, seeing everything the world has to offer and more.” Hinata agreed. “So, what do you two want?”
Natsumi held out a hand, and Motoko took it, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Thank you Natsumi. Together, we have the courage. “We want the same. We want everything. A loveless arranged union, even if it gives us most of what we want, just seems so hollow. And like you, Eri, our happiness would just be poison, if he does not love us. Even if we could stay together, continue our arts, satisfy our noble pride and family honour, without love we would never be complete.”
“Fine.” Eri sighed. “You pass. On my birthday, I told Akio I could accept you if he needed you, and that’s true. But if you were content just to be a transaction, a marriage of convenience… never. That will only hurt Akio. You too. And us. Love needs to be the foundation. So make him love you. He’ll never love you as much as he loves me, though!” Eri couldn’t resist a smug dig at them. “After all, childhood friends are something special.”
“We’ll see.” Hinata rebuffed her. “I happen to think I’m rather loveable myself. Shaeula is a tough opponent too.”
“So, I think we need to think of the rules everyone has to follow.” Aiko said suddenly. As everyone looked at her, she flushed. “Not me, wow, damn, I’m his sister! But I think if everyone knows where they stand, and what is off-limits and how you need to all get along, everyone will be happier. I mean, my bro probably deserves it, but being as I am the best sister in the world, I don’t want him to end up living with five women who are always fighting and he’s stuck in the middle.”
“Five, huh? Optimistic. I’d say Kana-san at the shrine is pretty suspicious if you ask me. She’s cute too, and apparently has a really useful talent.” Hinata said shrewdly, and Eri shook her head.
“No way. I don’t like her! She’s false and sneaky and mercenary. The wrong sort of girl for Akio!” Eri declared, putting her foot down. “This is why we need rules. Aiko is right! And more importantly, we need to force Shaeula to follow them! She says she respects me as first wife, and I know she loves me as a friend, but when it comes to other girls it’s as if she wants everyone she meets to fall in love with Akio! You need to help me rein her in!”
“Yes. It isn’t like I have a problem with Akio having other women. He’s going to rule this world and others!” Hinata declared, wisely saying nothing more about Kana-san. “But if he has so many there is no time for us then what’s the point? I think that is what worries him the most, isn’t it?”
“I like you. You seem to understand him.” Eri agreed. “That’s exactly it. He feels guilt at what he sees as a betrayal of me and Shaeula, as well as he worries that he won’t be able to make us all happy. Foolish.” Eri shook her head angrily. “Every moment I’m alive now, whether I’m with him, swinging my axe, or just sitting around daydreaming, I’m happy. Anyway, if you want him to love you, you need to allay those fears. I would suggest…”
********
“So, we’ll speak to you all tonight! Later!” Aiko waved her hand, Eri beside her, and the phone went blank, the call ended.
“Well, that was interesting. We’re going to be late for school, which is a pain, but I hope you feel better about everything now.” Hinata said, and Motoko nodded, Natsumi also agreeing.
“To think he is that simple. He isn’t a noble at all, is he? I thought we knew that, but I guess it’s hard to change our mindset.” Natsumi marvelled.
Yes, is it really so simple? If it is… well, there would be no hardship following the path to his heart, and it explained the sorrow and disdain he had when they knelt before him, pressuring him to accept them. “In that case. I am resolved. Hinata, I apologise as the announcement will likely steal your thunder, but I shall speak to grandfather and my parents directly.”
“It was nice to show up Sakura, but that was only a bit of fun.” Hinata acquiesced politely. “So… you can come in now.” And with that, the doors to the room opened, and in stepped Motoko’s grandfather, mother and father. Her grandfather looked both stern and proud, while her parents had very mixed expressions.
“Motoko, my granddaughter.” Her grandfather said, looking her in the eyes. “So you’ve finally made up your mind? It doesn’t have to be him. There will likely be a need for the nobility to tie others like him to our cause. Perhaps we could find one you wouldn’t have to share…”
“No. it will be him. I’ve decided. Natsumi has decided. Hinata, Shaeula and Eri have accepted it. All I need to do now is to approach him honestly, not regarding what he can gain, but simply with why he should love me and hate to miss out on me.” She didn’t back down, meeting her grandfather head-on. When he merely smiled, she turned and bowed to her mother and father.
“I am sorry. I have been a difficult daughter. But the Tsumura family, our arts, the sword, the spear and the bow… I’ve loved them too much to ever give them up. And I believe now, it was all for this. I trained for this day, so I could stand beside the husband I chose, watching his back in battle, soothing his cares in the home, raising strong heirs.”
“I too!” Natsumi declared. “I refuse to be left out!”
Motoko smiled at her friend. Left out? Surely not. We will serve Akio together, as his wives. The thought of it makes me happy. And it will not just be us serving him. No, from what they tell me, Akio will return our joy tenfold. I find it hard to understand, but I look forward to discovering what they meant.
“Mother, father. Grandfather.” She bowed to them once again, this time in martial arts fashion, as per her family traditions. “I ask you support me in arranging my marriage and confirm it with both the Three Grandfathers, as well…” she swallowed nervously. “… as well as Akio’s family. We must do him the courtesy of seeking their agreement too. Apparently they know enough of his circumstances to accept the way things are. Natsumi and I… we must do the rest, and capture his heart.”
Her mother pulled her into a hug, surprising her, as the Tsumura’s were not a tactile family. Looking up, wide-eyed, she saw her mother was crying. “Every mother wishes to see her daughter happy. I married your father and found joy, so I hope you too can succeed, my Motoko.” She then released her and hugged Natsumi, who flailed in shocked protest. “You have always been a support for my daughter, which she has needed, being so different. I thank you, and it is reassuring to know that you will stay by her side. I hope you find happiness too.”
“He’s a hard man, Akio.” Her grandfather said, surprising them. “If anyone threatens those he loves, he’ll show no mercy. I approve. He even said he would kill a president if he had to.” He chuckled dryly. “But he’s also rather old-fashioned, it seems. I don’t think he’ll make a bad husband at all for my beloved granddaughter. You tell him from me, if he turns you down, I’ll come and punch him in his idiot face!”
“Grandfather! No coercion! That is the wrong way to deal with him!” She protested.
“That’s true. I have no words.” Hinata apologised, forgotten in the family drama.
“That’s not coercion, merely the words of one man to another. You tell him this from me. ‘Would your heart not burn with jealously when you see another man taking the arm of my Motoko, leading her to the altar? Would it not shake with anger, should you see her looking downcast, without life in her eyes? Would you not feel great satisfaction, taking her hand on your wedding night, leading her to the bedchamber, ready to…’”
“Father-in-law!” Her mother protested, face burning, and Motoko knew how she felt. Turning, she saw Hinata and Natsumi were equally red, flushed with embarrassment, and perhaps something more, a deep heat inside them. I do not know what it means to have sexual intercourse, only the little we were taught. But from what those girls said, it was something amazing, a true act of love…
“So, you know what to do then, sister?” Hinata said, and Motoko felt a different sort of flush at that.
“Yes, sister Motoko.” Natsumi joined in impishly. “You just have to be honest, confess that you like him, and win his heart! If not, I’ll tell him just how good you look when you are changing after practise, and…”
Under laughter from the room, Motoko flailed her hands, trying to shut Natsumi up. Even so, the laughter felt warm, and for some reason, the hard calluses on her hands didn’t seem to bother her so much anymore, instead seeming like marks of pride that she could use to show her dedication to her arts, that she could be by his side during the toughest of battles, when she took his hands in hers…