Kairos swallowed fairly hard. He didn’t really understand why he was suddenly feeling emotional when he normally had a hard time doing so even if he wanted to be.
A moment later, he shook his head amid the pain and let out an exhausted sigh.
“Whatever, it must be because I’m just tired of all this apocalypse stuff.”
Though Azami didn’t just let him gloss over it.
“No. It’s not as simple as that.”
Kairos was genuinely quite surprised, wondering why she even cared about something random like that so much.
“Huh? How do you know that when I don’t even know?”
“Well, it’s almost like someone here has thousands of years over you.”
Azami sounded quite confident. In the end, Kairos conceded there, as he worked upon the logical assumption she knew what she was talking about due to her age.
“If that’s the case, then could you explain it to me?”
“…I’ll tell you later, but for now, just continue thinking about it. Don’t push it off just because you can’t see it within the first few seconds.”
Kairos opened his eyes slightly and looked at Azami for a little while. His curiosity was plain to see, even if she didn’t have mind-reading powers. Still, he didn’t bring up any questions and closed his eyes, and focused on his thoughts.
He once again thought about the memory, wondering what it could’ve been that triggered an emotional response. Though no matter how many times he logically went over it, he couldn’t see anything.
It was a time he was afraid, sure, but in the end, he was still alive now, so everything was fine. The more he thought about it, the less emotions he felt behind it. His focus was also broken several times as he was thinking.
While he no longer saw visions, he could still hear the voices from outside of his room. Coupled with the pain, it made it hard for him to deeply think about anything.
His brows furrowed as he saw no point in continuing further. Azami let out a sigh, noticing his lack of results from her mind reading.
“Alright, you can temporarily move on, but just know that we’re going to come back to that.”
Kairos scratched his head, but didn’t retort. He moved on to think about the earliest memories he had after those ones. Though it really was all fuzzy. As it was for most people, only very memorable things stuck out.
“Uh, there was this one time that Nicole goaded me into climbing a tree. Though ironically enough, when we did get up she would’ve fallen down if I didn’t grab her. I guess she might’ve made me do it for the sake of a spotter, but I doubt that was really her intention.”
“So how did that make you feel?”
Kairos blinked a few times, wondering if this was what it was like to talk to a therapist.
“Well… you know, the nostalgic feeling of past memories. That kind of thing.”
“So do you have the same feeling as the previous two memories you described?”
Azami spoke back almost instantly, surprising him somewhat.
“Uh… no. But those were more so traumatic memories, so it’s only natural they feel different.”
“But didn’t you have different things to say about the first two?”
Kairos raised an eyebrow.
“It’s fine as long as you acknowledge it.”
He was starting to have suspicions that this may be some weird kind of summoning ritual for her. Though even if that was the case, he doubted that she had harmful intentions. Not that there was too much to base it on, but he felt Azami’s character was fairly trustworthy, even if it was rough around the edges.
“Um, after that… I guess I remember that I went off with this guy called Edward on a pretty stupid journey. In the process, we were running close to a ledge, with a steep drop. It wasn’t that far, but if we fell, we would’ve gotten injured pretty badly. I almost slipped myself, along with him. Though we didn’t in the end, it was still a bad idea.”
Kairos rubbed his forehead a few times.
“In terms of how I felt… it was more of just dumb fun more than anything. It didn’t feel bad, though in hindsight I probably wouldn’t have done it because of the risk.”
“Alright… continue on.”
A moment of silence lingered.
“Er- There was also this time I was playing in a park with Nicole and Edward. I told them about my ability to see the future, but it seemed like they didn’t believe me and instead told me about their made up powers. It was around the time when I found out that my ability wasn’t something that was normal.”
He took a deep breath.
“A bit later, I found out it would be hard for anybody to believe me and decided to just keep it to myself. I guess that didn’t feel too good. Like, I’m not really a person that actively wants to keep secrets, but I suppose it’s not something I care to spread.”
“So you felt uncomfortable with keeping secrets from people you didn’t want to?”
Azami spoke surprisingly calmly, contrary to her normal rough demeanor. Kairos let out a small sigh.
“Pretty much. Though I got over it fairly easily.”
“Did you?”
To her question, Kairos was stunned for a moment.
“Um, that’s what I remember. I mean, it’s not like the world is going to end just because people aren’t going to believe me. Well, it kinda is ending right now, but that’s not the point.”
He expected her to follow up with a statement, but she remained silent. Kairos noticed that she just seemed to be relaxing, not even with her eyes open right now. He was a bit off put, but didn’t think too much about it.
“Um. I guess after that I have a lot of memories about playing around with Nicole and Edward. Doing things that felt fun at the time, even if there wasn’t really much meaning behind it. You know, the kinds of things that are fun when you’re a kid but kinda lose their touch once you’re an adult.”
“Why do they lose their touch?”
Kairos’ eyelid twitched. He felt like that was an obvious thing to both of them, but gave an answer anyway.
“Because as you grow older, things aren’t really the same simple things anymore. With how complicated things become and the more sophisticated the mind is, the harder it is to find enjoyment in those simple things.”
“You should be more specific. Why does the mind being more sophisticated make it harder to enjoy simple things?”
Kairos didn’t voice his complaints, not that it would change whether or not she would know about them, with the mind reading and all.
“Er, I guess… it’s because things that are simple are intrinsically shallow. So when you understand that, it becomes hard to enjoy such a thing anymore. Especially when there are other more complicated things, even if their core is still something simple.”
“But do you really believe that?”
Kairos went silent for a little while. He let out a small sigh.
“Look, can you just tell me what you’re getting at? If we go at this rate, then we’re just going to be here forever.”
The corner of Azami’s lip turned up.
“Oh, really? But what if I were to tell you that I’m not getting to anything.”
“…What?”
Azami let out an uncharacteristic chuckle.
“You may not believe me, but I have no idea where this is going. I’m simply trying to lead you to find out for yourself.”
Kairos rubbed his temples as he repeated her words in his head. After a long moment of thought, he sighed.
“Ok, fine. I’ll do my best.”
He took a deep breath.
“For starters, I’m pretty sure that I believe my previous statement since it’s just logical. To put it simply, an example of something simple could be a game of checkers. Granted, it does have its nuances, but when you compare it to something like chess, the difference is clear. While at their core, they both contain moving pieces around and taking the other person’s, how they are moved are completely different, lending chess to be a much more complex game. While something like checkers may be enjoyable at first, they quickly lose their favor, since there are only so many different ways you can actually play the game. On the other hand, with how complex chess is, there are countless different ways to play, coming to the point that almost every single person will never see every single combination.”
Kairos began panting at the end of that, recovering his breath. A neutral frown formed on his face as he finished.
“…But.”
He bit the bottom of his lip.
“It’s so much easier to find enjoyment out of simple things. But after you grow up… well, things become complex.”