Kairos found himself not knowing what to say. He had honestly never expected to be in this situation.
To have Nicole confess to him.
It wasn’t as though he was unaware of her feelings, he just never thought that she was the type of person to do such a thing. It was honestly somewhat jarring for him to see her suddenly become so daring.
Nicole’s beady eyes widened as she stared straight into his. Kairos did not look away, staring back at her. Though, just from the look on his face, Nicole was already losing hope.
Kairos let out a small sigh.
“Nicole, do you really think a relationship between the two of us would even work?”
Nicole clenched her fists tightly.
“I-I can become stronger! And braver too!”
Kairos shook his head before facepalming.
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
Nicole appeared distraught at his words.
“W-What do you mean?”
Kairos shrugged his shoulders.
“It’s the kind of people we are. Haven’t you thought about it?”
Nicole furrowed her brows slightly.
“Am I… not good enough?”
Kairos pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You don’t seem to get what I’m saying. Think about our personalities. They just don’t mesh properly. The only thing getting closer is going to do is further exacerbate the problems that already exist because of them.”
Nicole blinked a few times.
“I don’t see any problems…”
Kairos’ eyelid twitched.
“You don’t? What about the fact our interests are completely different? Our mentalities diverge completely, making our goals different. Not to mention how we can’t trust each other for anything.”
Nicole pouted slightly.
“I-I can trust you. And even if you can’t fully trust me, I will always try my best!”
Kairos rolled his eyes.
“Oh really. Don’t you remember the number of times I canceled the plans you made last second without even telling you? Not to mention, you are way too unpredictable, so I can never truly predict your behavior.”
Nicole scratched the back of her head awkwardly.
“Well… it did make me a little sad when you never showed up even when I would wait for hours. But I always know that you at least thought about coming.”
Kairos raised an eyebrow.
“Huh? And how in the world would you know that?”
A small smile formed on Nicole’s face.
“Because… you would always apologize to me the next day.”
Kairos’ face twitched.
“…Ok, but that just shows how you can’t trust me.”
Nicole averted her gaze slightly.
“Well, I know how hard it is for you to get outside the house and do something with me. When I said I trust you, I meant that I can always trust that you tried your best.”
Kairos blinked a few times.
He couldn’t really understand the logic behind that statement. Trusting the intention, rather than action was rather pointless. After all, it would still be random in the end.
Which meant it wasn’t reliable at all.
Nicole took a step closer.
“These problems you mention are so small, you know? Of course things aren’t going to be perfect between us, but that’s completely normal! It was never supposed to be perfect in the first place.”
Kairos opened his mouth but closed it right after.
He couldn’t think of any words to say.
Nicole took another step closer, which prompted him to take a step back. Seeing this, Nicole couldn’t help but smile bitterly.
“It seems that… there’s still some distance between us. Like always.”
She then tilted her head to the side.
“Well… not always. When we were still kids, I remember we were as close as ever. But one day… it changed.”
Nicole pressed her lips together.
“And when we got even older… it got even worse.”
Kairos let out a long sigh.
“That’s because we naturally aren’t compatible with each other, and growing older showed that.”
Nicole shook her head.
“No, no…”
She kept walking forwards, making Kairos walk back. However, he quickly found himself at the wall. Nicole used this opportunity to grab onto his arms.
“It was something else. I just… don’t know what it was.”
She bit the bottom of her lip.
“I always… tried to figure out what it was. But it didn’t seem like anything I did would help.”
Kairos was honestly a little shocked. It seemed Nicole was a little sharper than he let on.
“…So that’s why you were always doing weird things.”
Nicole let out a quiet cough.
“Um, yeah.”
She looked up at him, staring with wavering eyes.
“I guess… I should just ask. What was it that made us grow apart? Was it something I did?”
Kairos didn’t want to say anything. In fact, he would almost rather accept her confession than answer her question honestly. However, there was a part of him that could respect people that overcame their fears and acted bravely.
Whether that was saving someone from a burning building, or something as small as stepping out of their comfort zone.
Which was what was happening right here.
And so, Kairos decided he should at least be honest.
“I… I’m a petty person.”
Nicole’s lips parted slightly, focusing on his words. She seemed a little confused, but remained silent.
Kairos continued.
“I felt bitter that you didn’t help me when I was being bullied.”
Nicole flinched.
She slowly let go of Kairos and backed up slightly. Then, she got down on her knees and pressed her head against the floor.
“I’m sorry. I was… too scared.”
Kairos massaged his temple with the tip of his finger. This was not what he wanted from her.
“I get it, I get it. Just stand back up.”
Nicole did not get up.
“I will be braver next time! I swear!”
Kairos knelt down and grabbed her arm.
“Yes, I know. Just get up already.”
Nicole did not budge. Though Kairos could put more strength into his hand, he knew that it had a fairly high likelihood of severely damaging her wrist.
Nicole slowly looked upwards, with teary eyes.
“I… I will stand up for you now, so please… please don’t leave me…”
Kairos’ grip softened.
“I’ll try my best not to, so stand up, ok?”
Nicole used her free hand to grab onto his arm.
“Promise?”
Kairos shook his head.
“I can’t promise anything, because I don’t know what will happen in the future.”
Nicole bit the bottom of her lip.
“Promise… promise that you will try to stay?”
Kairos sighed.
“…I promise.”
Nicole abruptly got up from the ground and hugged him tightly.
“Then it’s a promise!”
There was a bright smile on her face, but it soon turned bitter.
“But… it stills seems like there’s something else you’re not telling me.”
She closed her eyes.
“You don’t have to tell me now. I just hope that you will someday tell me.”
Kairos did not respond.
He didn’t really realize it at first, but now that Nicole pointed it out, he found that there really was something else.
Because Kairos already forgave Nicole after that apology.
No, he had already forgiven her long before.
While he still remained unmoving, Nicole slowly let go. She kept her eyes on him for a few more moments.
“Sorry, you said you had something to do. I’ll get out of your way now.”
She stepped out of the room, letting him get out when he wanted.
Kairos slowly walked out, but couldn’t help but grab onto the side of his head as he did so. Not understanding his own emotions set off many alarms within him. As a person that was very logical, that fact made him a little off-put.
This was because many calculations could be thrown off the mark if he didn’t understand them properly.
Kairos slowly walked out of Nicole’s room and ended up standing in the hallway like a statue.
He knew that he had something to do, but he wanted to sort this out first. He knew how emotions affected people. The way Kairos always subdued the effects of emotions on his own actions by realizing them, finding their sources, and understanding how they changed his motives.
The distance he felt from Nicole was something he always thought he knew, but it turns out that was something he made himself believe.
He decided to go through his memories once more, slowly piecing them all together.
As Nicole said, Kairos really did find his memories in childhood to be fond ones. They were practically as close as it gets.
But once he was left to his own against those that bullied him, it truly made him feel quite bitter. And he was like that for quite a while.
With each time that he was abandoned, it just grew.
Kairos didn’t like recalling any of these memories for several reasons, but he forced himself to. After speeding through, he eventually reached high-school. He couldn’t help but feel a little unhinged after recalling so many painful events, and was quite surprised he didn’t find any shift yet.
Kairos thought he might’ve missed it, but just the thought of highschool made him remember another scene.
“Wow, you aren’t wearing any make-up?”
“No way! I don’t believe it!”
Kairos was sitting at his desk, trying to pay attention to the lesson. It was one of the more important math lessons, so much so that the teacher said that beforehand. Unfortunately, the chatter next to him was making it hard to catch it all.
His seat was at the very back and at a corner. Since his vision was good, there was no problem in seeing what was written on the blackboard.
Next to him was Nicole.
She was also trying to focus on the lesson, but two girls were talking to her despite that fact, overly excited.
Nicole didn’t want to be rude, so she continued to talk with them.
“Really, really! I don’t use any make-up at all. Is there a way to check that kind of thing?”
One of the girls unabashedly rubbed her finger against Nicole’s face.
“Oh my god! There’s actually nothing here?”
The other slammed both hands on the desk.
“Seriously? But you are almost as pretty as the school belle!”
Nicole smiled awkwardly.
“Hehe… I wouldn’t say that.”
One of the girls directly pulled out their make-up kit.
“If you put some on, then you would definitely overtake her!”
Nicole put her hands up.
“No, no. I want it to be like this.”
The girls both seemed confused.
“Eh? How does that make any sense?”
“Just try it!”
Nicole shook her head.
“…I prefer it like this.”
One of the girls scoffed.
“Come on, you would look so much better! Your name is already getting spread around school, imagine if you added just a bit more glamor.”
A small smile formed on her face.
“Maybe… but the person I care most about likes it more when I don’t have make-up on.”
The girls were both taken aback.
“Eh? You have a boyfriend? He’s definitely just saying that to flatter you.”
Nicole shook her head.
“No, n-not boyfriend, just a normal friend.”
She couldn’t help but take a peek at Kairos.
One girl looked over Nicole’s shoulder.
“Eh? Don’t tell me it’s that loser.”
Nicole abruptly stood up and slammed her hand on the desk.
“He’s not a loser!”
Both girls suddenly had a complete shift in attitude, feeling disgusted.
“…Oh dear god, how much did he have to pay her to say that?”
Nicole clenched her fist.
“Shut up! He didn’t pay me anything, he’s a better person than you two could ever be!”
It was at this point the teacher walked up to the back with a strict expression, staring right at Nicole.
“If you don’t want to pay attention to my lesson, then leave. Don’t stir up such a fuss when others are trying to learn.”
Nicole sat back down, but the way the teacher looked at her still showed quite a bit of resentment.
One of the two girls muttered to herself.
“Don’t get involved with this whore…”
Kairos then came back to the present moment.
“Ah… so that’s why.”
