What's gotten into you? Are you angry?" asked Yu Dong, tilting her head sideways as she looked at Chen Mi, who was unusually quiet as he sat beside her. Ever since he opened up to her after finding out the truth about her identity, he had hardly shut himself off in her presence. It was a little bothersome and unnerving to see him stay so silent.
"What do you mean ?" Chen Mi questioned back. He didn't even raise his head up to look at Yu Dong and kept staring at the floor. "I'm not angry at all. Why should I be angry?"
'You say that but...' thought Yu Dong inwardly, looking at Chen Mi whose lips were so pursed that he could actually hang a lady's bag on his lips. 'You are pouting! You are seriously pouting!'
Yu Dong sighed and started rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. She understood why he was upset. Still, honestly, she didn't do anything that might be mistaken for showing an interest in Xiao Hua. But then again, maybe her speaking to Xiao Hua at all must have rubbed Chen Mi in the wrong way. "You don't have to try so hard. If you have something to say, then you can say it. If you want to complain, I will listen to your complaints. After all, I'm yours, and you are mine. We have each other backs. Go ahead and vent, don't let it eat you up on the inside."
Chen Mi tightened his hold on Yu Dong's hand. He didn't know whether or not it was alright for him to say what was in his mind. But he didn't want to live the life he had been living till now. That would be depressing. Chen Mi kept staring at the covered floor of their carriage as they drove past the crowd. Even though they were surrounded by bustling noise, with the wind whistling as the mule clip-clopped its way out of the town, all Chen Mi could hear was the awkward silence that was surrounding them. He didn't say anything, and neither did Yu Dong for a while.
Yu Dong stayed silent because she didn't want to interrupt whatever Chen Mi wanted to say. Chen Mi didn't say anything because he didn't know where to begin. Neither of them spoke for a while.
"Actually, Dong Dong, I am a very selfish person," began Chen Mi without looking at Yu Dong. He hugged the sleeping Little bun a bit tighter and wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. "I was pampered rotten by my mother. She loves me just as much as she loves my daddy. Or, if possible, even more, I always envied the relationship that my parents had. If they fought one morning the next day, they were stuck at the hip again. It was overly sweet. Cringe and completely idiotic. Like how can a woman love a mer so much? My mother is the head of the family, going by society's rules. She should have married two more mers and given birth to a whole horde of children to bless our family's clan. She didn't, no matter how much she was criticized by the family's elders, she didn't budge and never let another mer inside her life or her heart. It's stupid, isn't it? But I wanted that!"
"I wanted a lover more than a wife. Someone who will spoil me rotten, someone who will stay patient with me no matter how many tantrums I throw, but..." Chen Mi paused, waiting for Yu Dong to say something, to tell him that what he wanted was nothing but imaginary happiness. He wanted her to say that he was foolish, but she said nothing. If not for the fact he could hear her breathing next to him and feel the warmth of her palm, he would have thought he was riding the carriage alone. He was kind of glad she didn't speak. "But I didn't get what I always craved for. Even then, I have been patient. I try to minimize my presence when you are together with Brother Li or Brother Liu. But you are really mean. All I wanted for today was to have you all to myself, for you to stay by my side and only look at me. To hold my hand and praise me, I just want to be your only one, even for just one day and yet."
Yu Dong glanced at Chen Mi and sighed before stopping the carriage a little farther away from Song Yixu's restaurant than she initially planned. "Mi, in all honesty. If I could, I would have loved only one of you."
She spoke earnestly, making Chen Mi stiffen with all his muscles going taut at once. "But I can't do that. I was not used to doing relationships before coming here. I had no one in my life. So even if I do something that's hurting you, I mean no harm, believe me. I just don't know what to do. Suppose I pay attention to only one of you. In that case, I will inevitably ignore or slight the other ever so negligibly, even if I don't want to do that. I always stayed away from others because I took relationships as a waste of time. Now, all of a sudden, I have three people to love and care for." Yu Dong raised her hand and started rubbing Chen Mi's head. "I can't say that I can give you the loyalty that your mother gave your father. But that's the only thing that I will not be able to give you. Because you can ask me anything other than that, I promise to give you just that. I will love you. Not exclusively, but with every piece that belongs to you alone, that's the best I can do for you three. I can't explain any better than this, so please understand, alright?"
Chen Mi felt his heart flutter as he hugged Little bun. His eyes stinging unexpectedly. He didn't know why his heart was touched. Yu Dong spoke nothing of the promises that he once dreamed of, but she spoke of the promises that she could keep. Sniffling silently, he smiled, finally looking up. "Yes, thank you very much. Are you taking me on a date?"
Yu Dong followed his gaze and chuckled. "Take it as an apology. You can order whatever you want. I won't stop you."
"Even the desserts?"
"Even the desserts," promised Yu Dong.