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Dimensional Storekeeper

Dimensional Storekeeper

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Chapter 139: One Slurp Away From Being A Lunatic!

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Chapter 139: One Slurp Away From Being A Lunatic!

’What if I can never eat normal food again?’

’What if next time I slurp noodles, I awaken a demon from the upper realm and become its noodle servant for eternity?’

It was never even free to begin with, lil bro. You paid a crystal. You’re tweakin.

You’re just drowning yourself in your own assumptions.

That’s what Hao was gonna answer if Nie Huo did ask those questions.

Word for word. Brick by brick.

On the other hand, Nie Huo was full-on convinced that asking would only be a waste of energy.

The store would probably answer. However, the answer wouldn’t actually contain an answer. If that made sense.

Actually, it didn’t.

But it did.

No thanks.

He’d barely survived that shamelessness earlier.

No way he was willingly entering that loop again.

He wasn’t some bored cultivator with a death wish and a bottomless pool of patience.

’Yeah. I’ll just have do it my way.’

He gave the store a quick once-over, searching for anything or anyone that could actually help him.

And his eyes stopped on a figure he had barely noticed earlier.

Wrapped in just as many layers of bandages, the man was holding the noodle cup with both hands, posture stiff with the kind of reverence seen only in long-time believers.

He looked like he had just come out of his own enlightenment.

Eyes slightly open.

Breathing uneven.

And now… were those tears?

Nie Huo squinted.

Just to confirm.

Yup. Crying.

Was the enlightenment really that moving?

’You idiot. Let’s figure out the side effects of these noodles first!’

He wanted to shout it across the store. But even he had enough self-control not to do that.

But seriously… what was this guy doing?

Was he praying?

’Huh?’

Why was he bowing to the cup?

Why did it look like he was about to cry again?

Nie Huo blinked slowly.

Then shrugged.

Weird. But honestly, was anything not weird ever since he stepped into this place?

And hey, at least that guy actually ate the noodles too. He might be more useful than trying to extract meaning from that chaotic shopkeeper again.

Nie Huo began walking over.

Meanwhile, Dou Xinshi sat completely not moving, his eyes slowly shutting in a haze.

He was just about to whisper a heartfelt thank you to the cup in his hands.

Then offer his next prayer to the Esteemed One behind the counter.

And after that, he planned to spend a moment in silence for the chicken beast that had sacrificed itself to create this divine flavor.

But suddenly, he felt someone approaching.

An unfamiliar presence.

Dou Xinshi slowly lifted his head.

’Who dares disturb me while I am performing a sacred rite?’

Was this person not part of the store?

A new face?

A newcomer?

His nose twitched slightly.

Yes… yes! He sensed the scent of fresh noodle steam and spiritual awakening still lingering faintly on this man’s aura!

’Oh?’

Dou Xinshi’s grin began to stretch across his face like a slowly unfolding nightmare.

Eyes still closed, but smile disturbingly wide, he muttered to himself.

“So the store has accepted a junior… I see, I see…”

He turned his head slowly, still holding the empty noodle cup with reverence.

“Little brother…” Dou Xinshi whispered hoarsely.

“Have you seen the light of the chicken?”

Nie Huo froze mid-step.

The words hit him with the weight of a mystic prophecy and the absurdity of a drunken youth at a banquet.

He blinked once.

Twice.

Then slowly tilted his head, lips curling into a practiced smirk.

“Ah… the light, Senior Brother.” Nie Huo drawled.

“Yes, yes, I believe it radiated from the broth. Golden. Eternal. Slightly peppery.”

Dou Xinshi gasped.

He clutched the noodle cup tighter, trembling.

“A fellow believer…”

Nie Huo’s smile tightened.

Alright. He was definitely dealing with a loon.

But if this noodle cultist had answers, well… he could play along.

For now.

“Ahem.” Nie Huo coughed, stepping forward and dropping his voice to a whisper.

“Senior Brother. I was deeply moved.”

“But… I fear I lack guidance.”

He placed one hand dramatically over his heart, the other gesturing subtly like a scholar posing for a portrait.

“What… exactly was that enlightenment? Is this part of a greater legacy technique?”

“A cultivation method disguised as food?”

Dou Xinshi’s eyes snapped open for the first time.

Wide. Wild. Slightly teary.

“You don’t understand.”

“These noodles… they speak to the soul. They unravel karma. One cup and I re-experienced my past ten lives.”

“In the Spicy Beef flavor, I saw my ancestor in a duel. In Chicken – Chicken! – I met the astral chicken who first clucked the Dao into the heavens.”

Nie Huo’s eye twitched.

He maintained his smirk, barely.

“…Naturally, Senior Brother. I too, heard faint poultry murmurs.”

Dou Xinshi gave him a solemn nod, moved. “I knew it, Junior. The store only reveals its secrets to those it chooses.”

’Junior?!’ Nie Huo resisted the urge to smack the man on the head.

Instead, he took a calming breath and settled into a seat beside Dou Xinshi.

“Senior Brother, may I ask… are there other items like this? Other divine foods?”

“Does the store test each customer with noodles first before bestowing the deeper artifacts?”

Dou Xinshi looked away dramatically, as though gazing into an invisible sun.

“The Esteemed One is not to be questioned lightly. He is as mysterious as he is merciful.”

Nie Huo squinted toward Hao at the counter. The store owner looked like he was peeling off a snack label with his teeth. “…”

“…Right.”

Dou Xinshi suddenly leaned in close, whispering.

“I plan to try the Peach Oolong next. Some say the elders weep when they drink it.”

Nie Huo nodded gravely. “Of course, Senior Brother.”

“I wouldn’t want to disrespect the ancestral teas.”

Nie Huo’s lips parted in quiet awe. His mouth tilted slightly, a crooked smile forming.

’Okay. What the hell is going on in this store?’

Nie Huo was pretending to be overwhelmed with emotion. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

’I see now. This isn’t enlightenment.’

’It’s food-based… brain conditioning.’

It all clicked!

’Of course! That explains the clarity. The hyper-focus. The sense of “gains.”’

’They’re not real. It’s a mind control!’

’A forbidden alchemy laced into noodles! Some sort of dangerous elaborated trap!’

He glanced sideways at Dou Xinshi, who was now silently muttering blessings to his empty cup.

’Symptoms include: euphoria. Devotion. Spiritual delusions. Severe cup-clutching.’

Nie Huo’s smile faded for a moment.

’I ate it clean. Down to the last drop.’

He touched his chest cautiously. ’Has it already begun to spread?’

’The enlightenment I felt… the clarity in my array calculations…’

’Was that real?’

’Or was I just high on the ingredients and subtle soul manipulation?’

He took a deel breath. No panic.

He was still in control.

…Probably.

Still, a thin bead of sweat slid down the side of his face.

Nie Huo’s thoughts spun.

There was only one logical conclusion.

He had to leave.

Immediately!

Quietly.

’Need to observe my condition from a neutral ground. Somewhere safe.’

But…

He couldn’t look like he knew anything.

What if the store owner noticed?

What if the moment store owner realized that he knew the truth, some hidden formation in this bizarre realm triggered?

What if the whole store was listening? What if he was already being watched?

He darted a glance toward the counter.

The store owner, the so-called “Esteemed One,” was casually sipping a drink as if this place wasn’t a suspiciously perfect illusion of convenience and corruption.

’Tch. Classic antagonist move. Act harmless.’

’Lure people in. Feed them mind-altering food.’

Nie Huo gave a wide, slow smile to Dou Xinshi, who was now humming softly to his noodle cup.

“Senior Brother… this has truly been a… spiritual awakening.”

Dou Xinshi nodded sagely.

“We are but fledglings before the boiling pot.”

“…Exactly.”

Nie Huo stood up and took one step backward.

Then another.

He even clasped his hands behind his back and whistled quietly, like he was admiring the wall.

Inside?

Full retreat plan activating.

’Step one: get out.’

’Step two: detox.’

’Step three: find anti-possession array. Maybe exorcist. Or healer. Or both.’

He glanced at the door.

It was still there.

But was it really there?

What if it only looked like a door?

What if stepping through it just looped him back into the aisles again?

What if that smiling store owner was actually a spatial cultivator capable of shifting reality?

He gulped.

He should forget escaping through force, if the store owner’s was truly attuned to this space.

A chill ran down his back.

’If I act suspicious, I’ll be flagged. Then the second cup will come. Then the drinks. Then… I’ll end up like this crazy guy.’

’He’s too far gone. Completely marinated. That noodle’s steeped in him deep.’

Nie Huo coughed lightly and straightened up.

“Anyway, Senior Brother, I shall now… go meditate on the Great Chicken’s revelations. Somewhere far.”

“Alone.”

“Ah.” Dou Xinshi said.

“Yes. Solitude often helps the flavor sink deeper into the spirit.”

Nie Huo smiled tightly. “Yes. Exactly that.”

He turned, and walked toward the door.

Each step slow. Measured.

Prepared to bolt or use any of the tools in his arsenal.

He reached the door.

Pulled it.

It opened!

Nie Huo nearly stumbled from how anticlimactic it was. He blinked once.

“…”

It really opened?

No lightning traps? No spatial collapse? No formation that reverses your soul and shuffles your memories.

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