Qi Long found some kidney tablets here, there was a loving photo of Yang Chaoyue on Sha Yi's steering wheel, and there was a lighter on Chaoyue's car. In addition, there are several dolls that look particularly cute in Dongqiang's car, and even a set of Barbie dolls for playing house. “Hahahahaha,” Shen Teng laughed and teased, “Others say that boys like electronic toys when they are young and like Barbie dolls when they grow up. I didn’t believe it, but Dongqiang convinced me with facts!” Everyone else was laughing, Dongqiang ran over and pushed him: "That's pure nonsense, that's not mine!" Qi Long nodded aside: "I can prove this, it is definitely not Dong Qiang's!" Although Qi Long was speaking for him, Dong Qiang felt that Qi Long had bad intentions, so he ignored him and just looked at Qi Long. Qi Long was a little uncomfortable without anyone to talk about it, but he still blurted out, "He bought it for his daughter!" "What?" Everyone was shocked. Gao Dongqiang happily pushed Qi Long: "Haha, I knew you had bad intentions. When did I have a daughter?" "Those who are familiar with Deyun Society should know that every once in a while, Dongqiang is the only one missing from the list of small theaters. I always tell others that Dongqiang is traveling, but in fact he went to the south to find his wife and daughter!" Qi Long said nonsense seriously. "Fuck you uncle!"
"Just say that Qin Xiaoxian learned it from Qi Long. This false accusation is well-founded!" Other people's cars also have things placed by the production team for the sake of the show effect. For example, there is a piece of paper in Shen Teng's car, on which are written the shortcomings of each member, such as Qilong's heart, Dongqiang's simple mind and strong limbs, and Shayi's simple mind and simple limbs. It was just bad things about the other brothers. Shen Teng explained repeatedly: "I didn't write it. It's just what I thought in my mind." Wang Jiaer had height-increasing insoles, height-increasing socks, and height-increasing shoes in his car. Everyone complained that it was too much for him to wear these three-piece sets when he was already so tall. It turns out that Gal couldn't beat Dongqiang because he was wearing high heels. After seeing what the production team had set up in everyone’s car, the production team also announced that if everyone succeeded in the mission once, they would move on to the next mission one hour later. Everyone returned to the room with rich entertainment facilities again. This time, Qin Xiaoxian came to Qi Long. It turned out that Gao Dongqiang was not convinced and wanted to play table tennis again. He didn't want to be dragged to play table tennis, so he came over pretending to ask Qi Long about his crosstalk work. "Uncle master, we will have a special show called "Five Red Pictures" in a couple of days. The audience is familiar with the old lyrics. Would you like to suggest a new lyrics?" Qin Xiaoxian asked. "Five Red Pictures" is a traditional crosstalk. After the introduction, the main act begins. The funny man puts forward a point of view that everything in the world is related to the yin and yang, gold, wood, water, fire and earth. The supporting man is not convinced, so he brings up various things to let the funny man find out how he is related to "yin and yang, gold, wood, water, fire and earth". Finding the number four in various things in the "Four-Character Song" is similar to this one, and both are a process of "circle theory". Whether it is applied rigidly or in a particularly clever way, it will bring good program effects. In traditional work, people usually talk about a table, a fruit, and then try to find the yin and yang and the five elements in it. It was indeed as Qin Xiaoxian said, everyone had heard it so many times, and the audience knew exactly what the jokes were, and it would be meaningless to repeat it any further, so Qin Xiaoxian wanted to ask his uncle if he had any good ideas. These nephews often ask Qi Long for help. As long as it is related to crosstalk, Qi Long will basically tell them everything he knows and will do his best to help. "You all know that the audience is tired of hearing the traditional ones and want to find new ones. Just look for it. Find something that seems to have nothing to do with gold, wood, water, fire, and earth. When the straight man says it, the audience will feel that the funny man hasn't made it round. Then when you make it round, the show will be effective. So, just find something and I will make it round for you!" Qi Long asked. This is like adding a word to ruin a movie. Sometimes it's not enough to just think about it, you have to play it like a game with others. Maybe while playing, you will be able to round something out and people around you will applaud. This can be used in crosstalk. Qin Xiaoxian glanced at the other five people except the two of them. At this time, Dong Qiang, Shen Teng, Wang Jiaer and Sha Yi were playing men's doubles, and Yang Chaoyue was the referee. He started talking: "Ping pong, I can't think of any topic related to the five elements." When Qi Long heard him say this, he was also a little confused. It was like a rapper improvising and playing badminton for others. He must have been confused the moment he heard it. However, this is the effect we want on the crosstalk stage.
"The simplest thing is that only one side of a ping-pong ball can be exposed to the sun. It is spherical, and all spherical objects have the sun-facing side as yang and the sun-facing side as yin." Qin Xiaoxian nodded: "Yin and Yang are easy to think about, but the key is gold, wood, water, fire and earth. It's not easy to think about it, gold!" Qi Long was completely immersed in the crosstalk stage: "Gold is a simple word. Look, ping-pong balls are all golden yellow. There is gold, right?" "There's also a white ball!" Qin Xiaoxian pointed at the small white ball they used to play table tennis in the distance. "The white one looks like silver, and silver is also a metal." "Oh? Wood!" Qi Long patted him on the shoulder and said, "Wait a minute, although what I just said was barely included, it was a forced introduction. It can be used as a joke but it can't make the audience feel refreshed. It's not enough. Here I have another idea for Ping Pong Gold." Qin Xiaoxian held a piece of paper and a pen, and sat properly: "Uncle Master, please speak." "Table tennis has won numerous gold medals thanks to the efforts of our Chinese athletes. Is there gold?" "Wow!" Qin Xiaoxian exclaimed. Not to mention anything else, this joke would definitely win the audience's applause. Uncle Master is Uncle Master! Wood is simple, that is, the table tennis rackets and tables are all made of wood. Fire is also simple. Ping-pong balls are flammable. Who hasn't set fire to a ping-pong ball as a child? It turns into a ball of fire in an instant. What’s even more exciting is that the table tennis players made a comeback and won the championship. Is it exciting? Yes! Is it hot? Yes! This explanation, which progresses from bottom to top and ends with a value explanation, can be used in evening parties, not to mention special performances or commercial performances. It can also be used as an evening party crosstalk, and it is full of positive energy. "Uncle Master, what should we do with this water?" "Foreign table tennis is so bad" "Hahahaha, this is a bit forced, but it does fit in with the previous joke!" Qin Xiaoxian commented. Qi Long nodded: "Okay, this cognition is correct. With this understanding of the gag, you can create your own. But if you want to talk about water, there is a good gag!" As he spoke, Qi Long struck the classic table tennis posture of "flowers blooming on the palm", which is to put the ball in the palm of his hand and open his palm. "Look, when people play table tennis, they have to spit on it!" “Hahahaha, people are blowing air, and now they are not allowed to blow air!” “Isn’t this just a burden?” Qi Long said that he could continue to praise the athletes, saying that they had shed a lot of sweat and tears to win the championship, and that these were all water. When it comes to soil, many athletes are given plaster casts. Plaster, plaster. Isn’t stone just soil? The ping-pong ball mentioned above is relatively easy to add value to. Qi Long also has some interesting jokes about the "Five Red Pictures". He also recommended two to Qin Xiaoxian. When the time comes, let the supporting actor talk about a person and the yin and yang of gold, wood, water, fire and earth in the human body. "People are simple, as the old jokes say, the five internal organs correspond to metal, wood, water, fire and earth, and the eyes correspond to the sun and the moon, one yin and one yang." Qi Long waved his hand: "When the time comes, you pretend you don't know, and waste time. Ask him to name the specific people, men and women, old people and children. Do you know them? Where do they live? What's their name? There's nothing to say. If he can't answer, you can use your wife as an example. At this time, it can become a cross-dressing job, and you can play the cross-dressing role." Yin and Yang, means your wife is particularly good at being sarcastic: "Oh, you're back. You must have had a good time drinking outside. Oh, I know it must be some gathering of fellow apprentices that I have to go to, blah blah blah. You can think of specific words, and then tell her that this is your wife's yin and yang, sarcastic!" Gold, means the wife of the supporting actor manages the money at home, and managing money is gold. Mu, I was so blind back then that I actually married a stupid person like you as my husband!
This is the first scene. The wife of the supporting actor is talking about the supporting actor's wood, which has nothing to do with the supporting actor. "You can be a little more vulgar at this time, and say four words: husband and wife are one! The audience will associate it with you, that you and the wood are one, that he is wood and you are also wood!" Angry. My wife always gets angry with me. Water, when husband and wife become one. "Hahahaha, are you still connected with the boss?" "Don't the crosstalk between Dongqiang and I always go up and up?" It is even simpler to say that he and his wife are particularly unfashionable and don’t understand fashion. They are of such old age, but they still wear couple shorts! This brings us to the joke where the straight man asks the funny man how he knew. As they were talking, the table tennis match was over and the winner was decided. Dong Qiang lost. After being scolded for a while, he came over and said, "It's your turn!" "Let's talk about work, uncle!" Qin Xiaoxian waved his hand, not wanting to exercise. Qi Long echoed: "Yes, yes, that's exactly the point." "What job?" "Wu Hongtu, I gave him an idea, saying that the supporting wife is weird." Dongqiang and Qi Long also performed "Five Red Pictures" in the small theater, and at that time they also used the gag that Qi Long said: "Hey, I thought of an interesting one after I got off the stage. Qi Long and I don't talk much about the work of supporting the wife now, but you can use it!" This is true. The reason is that Qi Long and Dong Qiang are well-known, and the audience also knows that Dong Qiang has no girlfriend. It is sometimes difficult for the audience to empathize when talking about his wife or his wife. Therefore, in their crosstalk, they often talk about Dong Qiang’s girlfriend, ex-girlfriend or his parents. Wait until he gets married before talking about his wife and other issues. It is indeed not available in a short time. After hearing Dong Qiang's words, both Qin Xiaoxian who was asking for help and Qi Long who was doing work here looked over curiously. "It doesn't have to be your wife, it could be your father. Jin Zhengchang said that he manages the money in the family, but you really want to take back the financial power, so you found a car to transport the person who manages the money in your family. The car is made of metal, right? When it's wooden, you said that the supporting actor really wants to take back the financial power, so he found a car to turn his wife into a vegetable. Plant, wooden!" Qi Long covered his face and said, "How miserable! I found out later. The water turned him into a vegetable. He couldn't eat and could only be given an IV drip. The glucose solution he received was actually water!" "Yes, fire." "Your wife didn't hold on any longer. She's gone. She needs to be cremated. Fire!" "Are you damaged? Where's the soil?" Qi Long said calmly: "Rest in peace!" "Hahahaha!" Several members who gathered around also laughed. Qin Xiaoxian sighed: "Too cruel, my uncle told me to do the job one sentence at a time, and he broke it all down." "Chew it up and spit it into your mouth?" Dong Qiang said. "How disgusting." Qin Xiaoxian complained: "When he was talking to me, he explained it sentence by sentence. Uncle Dongqiang came over and said he had a joke. He just said the two beginnings and the two of them were able to perform it completely. Wow, that's amazing!" This is a casual conversation between the two of them. There is no need to discuss each sentence one by one, just an outline is enough. Many times on the crosstalk stage, due to the audience's interruptions or various emergencies on the stage by the previous pair of actors, after going on stage, except for the main pole, everything else is completely different from what they did backstage!
"Let's stop playing table tennis. Why don't we play the "Five Red Pictures" game and see if there is anything else interesting!" Qi Long said. As he spoke, he explained to everyone that they had to find the Yin Yang and the Five Elements in the objects, and then gave a strong answer. When I was in the Shanxi Province Crosstalk Society, they also had this as a game in the society’s dinner parties. Whoever answered the question best would be recognized by everyone else, and some would even praise it as a good joke. That person was considered awesome! "Popsicle!" Shen Teng, who had taken out a popsicle from the refrigerator next to him, immediately brought out an item. "When it's in the bag it's Yin, when it's out it's Yang!" Dong Qiang answered immediately. Sha Yi came up to argue: "We don't have bags in the Northeast, what should we do?" "Then put it in the freezer as Yin, and take it out as Yang!" Dong Qiang continued. "He doesn't put it in the freezer. In our Northeast, it's colder outside than in the refrigerator in the middle of winter, so he just sells it on the stall!" Sha Yi continued to argue. Several old men from Northeast China around also joined in the argument. We can’t just say that Dongqiang is powerful! "How dirty is that thing? You must have wrapped it in paper or something, right?" "No, there is none!" At this time, Qi Long had an idea: "Let's say first, this popsicle is Yang when it is lifted up, okay?" "Okay!" "Put it in your mouth, and the sun can't shine on it, it's cloudy!" Dongqiang applauded: "This is not bad." There is a characteristic of "Five Red Pictures", the best thing to say is the word "gold", because as long as you can't make it round, you can simply say that this thing can be bought with money, and money is next to the word gold. The same goes for popsicles. Qi Long then put forward a point of view: "Popsicle, this is not the popsicle I eat, it is a big iron stick from Northeast China, the iron stick is frozen into ice, iron, metal!" "That's too far-fetched. The popsicle we're talking about is the one that can be licked!" Sha Yi retorted. Qi Long: "You can lick an iron rod, but dear audience friends, if you come to Northeast China in winter, don't try to lick the iron rod. Your tongue will stick to it and you can't pull it off. It's very dangerous!" "Yes, Qi Long was involved!" Dong Qiang was about to find his cell phone. That was a dark history from decades ago. At that time, Dong Qiang came to Qi Long's hometown in Northeast China and took photos with a digital camera, which he had kept in his cell phone. In the photo, Qi Long's tongue was standing on the iron railing, unable to move, and he was crying. "Well, I made a bet with him at that time that I dared to lick the railing in winter. The bet was that you were awesome and powerful. The result is still unforgettable. A layer of skin was directly lost on my tongue!" Qi Long lamented his dark history. (End of this chapter)