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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 15: One guest kneels in the Rose Garden

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Chapter 15: One guest kneels in the Rose Garden

Chapter 15 A Kneeling Guest in the Rose Garden Zhang Helun, who was inspired by Qi Long's performance, started choreographing Lao Guo soon after he came on stage. Zhang Helun: "It's okay for my uncle to say that my master is short, because my uncle is the youngest in my master's crosstalk school, and the brothers all pamper him. If I still say that my master is short, it's not okay. After he gets off the stage, my master will jump up and hit my knees until they are swollen!" Lang Heyan: "Do you have to jump up to hit your knees?" Just like when Qi Long was telling crosstalk just now, the audience's laughter continued. Gao Dongqiang, who was listening in the backstage, gently pushed Qi Long and said, "You brought it!" "The effect is great, he finally got it. His problem is that when he arranges jokes he always talks about people the audience are not familiar with, so the funny effect is definitely not good. But it's different if he talks about his master!" Qi Long said with a smile. Suddenly, the backstage door was pushed open, and the actors stood up immediately. Qi Long looked over there and stood up as well: "Brother, why are you here?" "Hey, everyone, sit down, everyone!" Guo Degang asked his disciples to sit down with a smile on his face, and came to Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang. "I originally came here to listen to your crosstalk, but it turned out that Sanlitun was too crowded at this time, so I asked my nephew who was shopping here to come over and record a video. He just got here in a hurry."

"Then you've come at the right time. Your apprentice is making the audience burst into laughter!" Qi Long smiled and pointed to the stage. And just at this moment, Zhang Helun arranged a little song for his master: [Not all men are lustful. In our Deyun Club, there is indeed one. The short-statured Deyun troupe owner is named Guo! ] "Hahahahahaha!" The audience's laughter reached the backstage. Guo Degang grinned: "Why did this kid think of framing me?" "They were all brought here by your good junior brother!" Gao Dongqiang pointed at Qi Long. Qi Long did not shirk responsibility: "Many of the audiences of Deyun Society come here for you. Even if it is a small theater, some audiences think they can see you when they come. They know you best, so talking about you will naturally have a good effect!" "Hahaha, very good! How was the game today?" Guo Degang became concerned about his game again. "I performed a tea bowl allegro, which was OK. I scored a high score. I should have no problem advancing." "That's good!" The two brothers chatted, Gao Dongqiang occasionally followed a sentence or two, and Zhang Helun on the stage also entered the main act and began to sing the lyrics of Taiping in a wrong way. After the Taiping lyrics that were made up on the spot were sung, the crosstalk came to an end. Lao Guo stood up and brought his fellow apprentices and disciples to the side curtain, ready to say hello to the audience since they were already here. Zhang Helun bowed and left the stage. When he turned around, he saw Guo Degang walking onto the stage. The boy reacted quickly and immediately pretended his legs went weak and he knelt down. Lang Heyan did the same, shouting into the microphone: "Master, he said all that, I didn't say a word!" When the audience saw this surprise Easter egg, they immediately burst into laughter and applauded. Qi Long even trotted to the front of the stage and said into the microphone: "Welcome to the Rose Garden, please kneel down!" Zhang Helun was brought by Lao Guo to the position of performing the funny role. Lao Guo picked up the fan, broke off a piece of it that was stuck on his finger, and hit him on the head. A clear and crisp sound suddenly spread throughout the theater.

This is a technique used in crosstalk. Both sides of the fan have been roasted by fire and are very brittle. It doesn't hurt when you hit it, but instead your fingers will be stuck in the fan and the person hitting it will feel pain. This time, the show was effective again and everyone was laughing so hard that they couldn’t stop. Zhang Helun immediately explained into the microphone: "Master, please listen to my argument and my explanation. I saw my uncle choreographing you on stage and it made the place explode, so I imitated him." "Don't play with your uncle, he is not a good person!" Guo Degang immediately shouted with an exaggerated expression. Qi Long was pushed up by Gao Dongqiang, and Lang Heyan made way: "Brother, you are wrong to say this, I also want to become famous, to make our Deyun Society famous!" "What does the performance for Deyun have to do with scolding me?" Qi Long replied as a matter of course: "Haven't you heard of it? Eating a bite of Tang Monk's meat will make you immortal, cursing Guo Degang will make you famous, Zhang Helun will become famous immediately!" Zhang Helun's eyes lit up: "Really?" “Really, it’s time to quit once you become famous!” Zhang Helun, who originally had a look of surprise on his face, was immediately frightened and quickly waved his hands. "Hahahaha, no matter what we say, I would like to thank all the audience for their support of Deyun Club. I am here today mainly to make an announcement. Dongqiang, you come here too." Lao Guo waved to Gao Dongqiang. Gao Dongqiang stood next to Qi Long. "These two have officially joined our Deyun Club today. Please give us your support. Look carefully at these two faces. They are the two actors that our Deyun Club is going to promote this year!" Guo Degang said, pointing at the two of them. Amid the audience's applause, the two bowed slightly to the audience. "Qi Long, come and sing a song for everyone!" Guo Degang called out. "Looking into the Window!" An audience member immediately requested it. Qi Long waved his hand and said, "I won't sing 'Looking into the Window' today. I'll give you a classic excerpt:" After saying that, Qi Long began to sing: [When I saw the princess steal the imperial edict, I couldn’t help but feel happy and stood at the palace gate:] When he sang this part, Qi Long glanced at Guo Degang. The senior brother also knows what junior brother means, Lao Guo said immediately: [Call me Xiaofan!!!] Before the song was over, Qi Long took the lead in raising his two hands, and as soon as the song finished, he led the actors on the stage and the audience to applaud. "Aren't you supposed to sing? Why do I have to sing now?" Guo Degang turned his head and saw that Qi Long had retreated to the back. He knew that he was planning to leave the stage to other actors, so he called on Gao Dongqiang, who came up and sang a Jin Opera, followed by the other apprentices. "Zhang Jiunan, have all your family affairs recently been posted on Weibo?" Lao Guo joked. The actors and audience who knew this joke all laughed. Qi Long looked puzzled, while Lang Heyan next to him explained: "His wife scolded him on Weibo and is asking for a divorce!" Qi Long was confused. Why did he have to go on Weibo to make a fuss about the divorce? Is Weibo the Civil Affairs Bureau? Zhang Jiunan went up to the stage embarrassedly: "Master, your internet speed is too fast!" "What are you singing?" Before Zhang Jiunan could answer, the audience started shouting: "Happy Breakup", "Breakup Should Be Decent" How could Zhang Jiunan choose these songs! Qi Long shouted from behind: "Sing a nursery rhyme, 'Where is Spring?'"

Hearing that someone could finally sing it, Zhang Jiunan immediately looked back at his uncle with gratitude, then turned back and said, "Okay, don't make a fuss, I'll listen to my uncle, I'll sing this song: [Where is spring, where is spring], thank you!" Before he left the stage, Qi Long pushed him to the front of the stage: "I'll ask you to sing the chorus of this song, li li li li." It has the same pronunciation as “li”. The audience immediately burst into laughter, and the actors behind the stage excitedly pushed each other to express their excitement. Lang Heyan was even more shocked: "Master, I just found out about this. This ability to cheat is amazing!" (End of this chapter)

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