630 Sea of Misery and Hope
“Something went wrong with my memory?”
In midair, Xu Jingming gradually calmed down. The situation appears very serious!
I purified my mind and built a foundation before condensing my mind. I’ve already condensed it 11 times to this day, Xu Jingming thought. The path of mental condensation is tough. The further I go, the more I need to accommodate, and the difficulty of refining the impurities constantly increases.
Accommodation, refinement, and condensation. It was relatively easy to refine when little was accommodated.
I wish to accommodate the Dark Primordial Star. The more information it contains, the more entrenched the impurities. Every time I condense my mind, I need to accommodate more information and refine more impurities. If I can’t, the large number of impurities will taint my mind. Xu Jingming’s expression was solemn.
Those who have received the Abyssal Void legacy don’t have high-dimensional corruption or abnormal emotions, but it’s still difficult for them to grasp the Heart Realm Force.
This is because to condense Heart Realm Force… the vast amount of information to accommodate is enough to evolve one’s Heart Realm. It’s extremely difficult to completely refine so much information. Xu Jingming also understood why very few Void Celestials could succeed on this path.
Identification of the path didn’t mean success.
Even if the Void Celestials reach a bottleneck and find it difficult to improve, they won’t lose control. It isn’t a big problem to have impure minds after all. Many Lv. 10 Origin lifeforms don’t have pure minds, Xu Jingming thought.
But I’ll be in big trouble once I get stuck at a bottleneck. Xu Jingming was vexed.
On the one hand, my mental strength has to suppress the chaos of high-dimensional corruption, and on the other hand, it has to suppress abnormal emotions.
The further one cultivates, the more impurities there are! It’s very difficult to simultaneously suppress both the chaos and abnormal emotions. Xu Jingming had a headache. And now, I’m beginning to have memory errors. This is the sign of losing control.
What should I do? Xu Jingming thought.
In fact, after my mind became high-dimensional, the effects of corruption were already relatively minor, Xu Jingming thought. The stronger my mind is, the easier it is to suppress the chaos of corruption. The stronger I am, the weaker the enemy!
Abnormal emotions are the biggest problem. This is because abnormal emotions use my mental strength as their soil. The stronger my mind, the stronger the abnormal emotions. Moreover, as time passes, the abnormal emotions accumulate and affect me more and more.
Xu Jingming carefully analyzed the situation.
Abnormal emotions were the key!
All these years, I’ve also thought of ways to vent my pain. Although it has a certain effect, it doesn’t seem to be effective enough. Xu Jingming’s eyes were cold. In order not to lose control, there’s only one way—assimilate it!
Assimilate the abnormal emotions! Make them a part of my emotions.
When painful emotions are a part of me, they won’t disturb my mind again. Xu Jingming made a decision.
He hadn’t wanted to choose this path and had chosen to resist and vent his abnormal emotions, but from the looks of it, he had no choice!
When that happens, I’ll regain absolute clarity.
Xu Jingming looked down at the mineral planet and then disappeared into thin air.
******
In the blink of an eye, six years passed.
Planet Viang, an ordinary habitable planet.
The boss of a tavern, Ningway, sat in the veranda outside the tavern and watched the passersby. Suddenly, he saw a tattered beggar, and the beggar’s gaze landed on him.
Huh? Ningway felt as if his soul had been seen through at that very moment.
It appalled him. He had too many secrets on him, and he wasn’t allowed to reveal his identity.
“I’ve traveled to 1,329 habitable planets in the past three days and observed billions of living beings. The pain in your heart is the strongest among all the living beings I’ve seen.” The tattered beggar walked over. “Are you willing to spare me three minutes?”
Ningway stared at the beggar in front of him. “What do you want?”
“I’ll possess you and suffer your pain,” the beggar said. “After that, I’ll satisfy a wish of yours.”
“Satisfy one of my wishes?” Ningway looked at Xu Jingming. He could sense how terrifying this beggar was—the most powerful person he had ever seen in his life was far inferior to the beggar in front of him. This made Ningway laugh manically. “You want to feel my pain? Do it if you can handle what it takes!”
“Don’t resist,” the beggar said as he looked at Ningway.
Ningway felt that the beggar’s eyes seemed to lead to a universe, and he became lost in them.
At this moment, the area where the two of them were was concealed. The others on the planet couldn’t see or enter.
It appeared to be only three minutes, but with Xu Jingming’s mental strength, he spent 532 years in Ningway’s memories and transformed into him, experiencing everything he had experienced.
Three minutes passed.
Ningway suddenly jolted awake, and he saw the beggar in front of him cackle crazily. “Still not giving up hope despite being in such endless misery? Hahaha, you’re like a donkey that keeps jaunting forward at the carrot in front of it. Even at death’s door, this donkey keeps looking at the carrot but will never be able to eat it.”
“It’s the same for you.” The beggar pointed at Ningway. “You’ve always sought hope, but you can never touch it.”
“Without hope, you would’ve committed suicide a long time ago. But it’s also because there’s hope that you’ve experienced more pain.” The beggar smiled oddly. “Your family has died, your homeworld has been slaughtered, and your civilization was destroyed. As a cosmic lifeform, you were escorted to a slave planet. You later joined the rebel army, but the rebel army suffered repeated failures… Your heart has long been riddled with holes. You’re already a walking corpse, but you manage to hold on because of that tiny bit of hope?”
Xu Jingming laughed, his eyes red.
“I can’t die this way. I want revenge. I want revenge at all costs!” Ningway stared at Xu Jingming.
“Haha, I can empathize with you.” Xu Jingming laughed maniacally.
With his mental methods, his mind could fuse into another’s body. In three minutes, he experienced all the pain in Ningway’s life. Ordinary Origin lifeforms would have gone crazy, but Xu Jingming was already used to it.
In the past six years, he had traveled the planets in the universe. His eyes scanned through countless living beings and searched for the living beings with the most intense pain. He was greatly agitated at first, but Xu Jingming became crazy after repeatedly possessing them.
He even relegated himself as a beggar—to be discriminated against and hated by countless living beings.
He immersed himself in all kinds of pain every day, but Xu Jingming had already adapted. The impact of the abnormal pain became weaker.
“Your wish is revenge, right?” Xu Jingming looked at him.
“Yes.” Ningway looked at Xu Jingming. “If you’ve read my memories, you should know what I want the most.”
“You want all the enemies who slaughtered your homeworld’s citizens to die!” Xu Jingming nodded. “Alright, I’ll kill all the executioners of your homeworld from 325 years ago as long as they’re still alive.”
Ningway found it unbelievable. Could the other party really do it?
“Go and gather information tomorrow. You’ll find out about their deaths.” The beggar turned around and left.
There were a total of 739 cosmic lifeforms who had committed the massacre 300 years ago still alive. Two of them were Lv. 8 cosmic lifeforms.
Although the massacre was a secret, and although the 739 of them were scattered across the galaxy, Xu Jingming could search for all kinds of secret information on the planets he visited. He investigated and locked onto one target after another.
In a day, 739 people died.
Be it a Lv. 8 cosmic lifeform commanding the cosmic fleet, a noble member of the royal family, or merchants heading to other Star Alliances for trade, all the cosmic lifeforms who had carried out the massacre back then died.
The rebel army had always treated these people as targets for revenge, so they quickly obtained news of a majority of the deaths.
“Those executioners are all dead?”
“That devil is dead too?”
Many people in the rebel army were stunned.
“Haha, they’re dead. They’re all dead.”
Ningway received information from the rebel army in the tavern. After muttering to himself for an hour at night, he committed suicide. He no longer had the strength to live once he finally came into contact with hope.
The beggar-like Xu Jingming stood outside the tavern and silently watched as Ningway finally chose to commit suicide.
This is your final outcome? Death is actually a form of release for you? The beggar smiled. So what if it’s pain? No matter how great the pain is, as long as there’s a little hope… it can be withstood.
The sea of misery is boundless, but there are boats to cross. The boat’s name is Hope.
But in fact, when there’s no hope, pain turns into despair, and there will be no more pain. Xu Jingming laughed crazily. Hope is a boat, and hope is also the source of pain. Hahaha…
Next.
Xu Jingming continued wandering the universe and searched the habitable planets, seeking out intense pain before possessing them.
Although he seemed to be getting crazier and crazier by experiencing the difficulties of those people’s lives for a short three minutes every time, Xu Jingming actually became more and more lucid. The impact of the abnormal pain on him decreased.
He knew very well what he was doing.
I’m in the sea of misery, but I also have hope. Xu Jingming had his own worries. All these years, he didn’t approach his homeworld or meet his family.
One day, I will resolve the corruption and the abnormal emotions.
…
The beggar-like Xu Jingming walked everywhere.
“Are you willing to spare me three minutes?” Xu Jingming would say the same thing when he found someone with intense pain. “I’ll fulfill one of your wishes.”
Having fulfilled the wishes of these sufferers time and time again, Xu Jingming came to a realization when he saw what they did after their wishes were fulfilled.
Finally, one day.
The beggar-like Xu Jingming entered a city and saw three figures appear in front of him.
One was Deputy Dean Redmond, one was Deputy Island Lord Fasci, and the other was Defender Whitejail.
“The managers of the three strongest factions are here together.” Xu Jingming looked at them and smiled. “Is it because I’ve caused too much trouble in the past six years?”
“Junior Brother.” Deputy Dean Redmond frowned slightly. “You’ve already lost control.”
“Lost control? No!” Xu Jingming laughed happily. “I feel more awake than ever.”