"Thank you, mom." She said after she finished obediently, "I will also arrange myself well in the future."
"How was your May exam last week?" Sure enough, you are sitting here waiting.
"I'm sorry." An Ran lowered her head, "I didn't do well in the exam this time."
"What does it mean if you don't do well in the exam? Second? Third?" There was pressure in Mrs. An's eyes.
An Ran's voice was like a mosquito, her face turned red with embarrassment, "The last one."
The living room fell silent for a while.
Aunt Chen, who had originally brought the juice, was so startled that she stood there hesitantly, wondering whether she should send this glass of juice to An Ran.
The servants in the family all know that Madam has a bad temper and will throw things if she disagrees with her. What if she gets angry later and spills the juice, or can't help but throw the glass of juice at the lady? She glanced at An Ran with embarrassment, and An Ran shook her head slightly.
Aunt Chen turned around and returned to the kitchen with the juice in hand.
"Why are my grades so bad?"
Hearing her adoptive mother's cold voice, An Ran replied calmly, "I was preparing for the competition some time ago and I don't have time to review after school."
"I think you didn't study hard." Mrs. An's voice was filled with anger. "Others can do everything well, so why can't you? If you really want to learn, is it a problem that you don't have time?"
An Ran knew that Mrs. An was someone who would put pressure on her children once they behaved poorly.
Therefore, in the past, she always worked hard and was always afraid of not doing well in exams, studying, or doing well, because once she did not do well, studied well, or did not do well in exams, her adoptive mother would be very angry, and she was also very angry. Fear.
Therefore, in high school, her grades dropped. In addition to factors such as her crush on Hua Zhan and her identity being revealed, her own lack of internal drive was also a reason.
The more you do poorly, the more nervous you become. The more nervous you are, the less well you do. Gradually, you develop a "learned helplessness" mentality.
However, now that she faced her adoptive mother's anger, although she chose not to say anything, she no longer felt aggrieved.
The An family's living room was filled with low pressure. Mrs. An suppressed her anger and questioned An Ran one by one: "First from the bottom, I have never seen such poor results."
"I think you are just lazy. You would rather play than study hard when you have time."
"You think you can sit back and relax after winning an award, right?"
"How can you have the honor to live if you don't work hard and still make excuses?!"
"..."
This was Mrs. An's habitual expression towards her, either scolding, criticizing, or intimidating her.
In the last life, she almost exhausted her vitality because of Mrs. An's constant denial. She always thought that she really didn't do well, and despite her selfless efforts, she discovered in the end that the truth of reality was not.
Mrs. An scolded her and denied her just because she didn't love her.
Because I don't love her.
She could always indifferently emphasize her contribution to herself.
Because I don't love her.
Therefore, she has never felt true love from them.
The most she felt was come and I go, and the love needs to be repaid.
This is why later on, the adoptive parents could so confidently use the word "love" to ask for it from themselves.
They always emphasize again and again: "How much money have I spent on you since I was a child? How much worry have I put into you? How should you treat me?"
Because I know I won’t kiss you, I don’t love you.
Because they don't love her, they are reluctant to do everything for her.
Once she fails to satisfy them at all, they will scold her angrily, blame her, spur her on, and look down upon her.
He even said very coldly: "An Ran, you are not worthy!" This fundamentally denied her value as a human being.
She spent her whole life proving that becoming their adopted daughter was a disaster.
"Are you out of your mind? Why are you so stupid?" Mrs. An was still cursing.
But An Ran was no longer the child who would imprint every unpleasant word she said in her heart, let alone let her words pierce her heart like a knife, leaving scars that were difficult to heal.
She came last in the exam, what does it have to do with whether she has the face to live in the world? This was Mrs. An's emotional attack, and her brain circuit was abnormal.
"Mom, I didn't do well in the exam this time on purpose. I really didn't have time to review." An Ran said coldly.
"You're still making excuses!" Mrs. An became even more angry.
"I'm not quibbling, I'm telling the truth. Before I went to the competition, I practiced piano every day in addition to classes. If you think about it, I got up at 5:30 every morning and practiced for an hour and a half. After that, I had breakfast and went to school. I also practiced when I came back in the afternoon. Until ten o'clock, during this time I still have to dance, do homework, and sometimes accompany you to parties. I am not God, and there are not 48 hours in a day."
"You!" Mrs. An was speechless. After a moment of silence, she said, "Mrs. Wei's son is only 13 years old. He already knows to get up at 03:30 in the morning. You can get up earlier too."
An Ran said, "Mom, can you get up at 03:30?"
Mrs. An was silent.
Of course she couldn't do it. She went to bed at [-] o'clock every night and often slept until [-] o'clock in the morning.
"Since you can't do it yourself, why do you ask me to do it?" An Ran said calmly and clearly, "You rarely interfere with my studies. Throughout the year, you only care about me every time I take a major exam and ask about my grades. To put it bluntly, you never care about the process, you only want to get the results you want, but if you don’t even have time for me to plant trees, how can I possibly pick fruit for you?”
"Are you complaining to me? An Ran." Mrs. An asked coldly.
"I'm not complaining." An Ran shook his head, "I'm just stating the facts to you. If you don't want to see the facts, I'm sorry, I can't be responsible for everything you want."
"Are you saying that I am self-righteous and irresponsible?" Mrs. An sneered, "What qualifications do you have to say that to me?"
coming--
An Ran smiled softly, "Yes, I'm not qualified. I'm not even qualified to clear my name. Everything you said is right."
"Are you laughing at me?" An gritted her teeth, her eyes filled with anger.
"I don't dare, I don't dare. I just think it's unfair, mom, to ask me to do something you can't even do yourself." An Ran shook her head, her voice as crisp as jade hitting each other, with a cold quality, "Or as a Mom, you really want me to do well, and if you want me to make progress, you must try your best to help me improve my grades, such as helping me find good teachers and finding me good learning institutions."
"You deserve it!" Mrs. An sneered, "You are so good and capable? Why don't you go to your friends to help with tutoring, or study on your own?"
"If you don't support it, I don't have to think of a solution on my own?" An Ran curled her lips and smiled faintly. 1314(End of this chapter)