Chapter 50: The Underworld's Laughter, Troubles, and Calamity
As Lu Qingyang stepped onto the Xuan Gui armor in the Rotten Bone Marsh, the anti-filth talisman on the sole of his boot sizzled, igniting with a pale green flame. Three ghoulish vultures swooped down, only to be struck on their beaks by the abacus beads he flung, several sharp teeth shattering with a crisp 'crunch'.
"Don't be so eager, my bird brothers," he said, hooking a half-leg bone with his toe and tossing it into the distance, "there's a tender-skinned one pressed under a coffin lid over there!"
"Crack!" The thousand-year-old profound ice suddenly cracked, and seventy-two bronze coffins burst out of the marsh.
A skeletal hand, with a jade thumb ring on its knuckle, reached out from one of the coffins. Lu Qingyang's eyes lit up, and as his sword tip pried open the coffin lid, he muttered, "Ye Laozei is quite filial, knowing Mr. Lu's birthday is approaching..."
"Boom!" A carrion dragon shattered the ice and shot into the sky, its foul saliva raining down like drops.
Lu Qingyang spun and ducked behind Su Li, pulling her cloak over him like an umbrella. "Su Gu Niang, is this mermaid silk waterproof? Could you sew me a pair of shorts someday?"
Before he finished speaking, three chensha stones whizzed past his scalp, pinning the dragon's head to the 'Soul Suppressing Stele'.
Yinghuo unfurled her silver bell cord and wrapped it around a withered skeleton in a wedding dress; the phoenix coronet on the skull was adorned with East Pearls as large as pigeon eggs.
Lu Qingyang picked at the pearls, smacking his lips. "These black water pearls are of such quality, not even the Drunken Immortal Pavilion's courtesan's earrings can compare..."
Suddenly, his face changed dramatically, and he leaned back, the pearl's luster reflecting the dense swarm of gold-eating ants at the bottom of the coffin.
"Xun Wind — Rise!" The pale smoke from the burnt talisman coalesced into a whirlwind, sweeping the ant swarm towards the pursuing Meng Po's phantom.
The old woman's ladle clattered to the ground, and the Meng Po's Soup, brewed for a thousand years, spilled onto the carrion dragon, scalding the beast, which thrashed on the ground.
Lu Qingyang took the opportunity to kick over a coffin and pried a gold tooth from the mouth of a corpse. "With this purity, a pawn shop would give at least thirty taels..."
"Whoosh!" When the sound of something breaking through the air struck, he was weighing the gold tooth.
In a panic, he grabbed a nearby skeleton to block the attack, its bony claw coincidentally catching the rapidly incoming Funeral Nail. "Good technique, brother!" he said, cupping his hands towards the skeleton's empty eye sockets, "I'll treat you to a courtesan's drink another day!"
Yinghuo's chensha formation finally took shape, twelve golden rays locking down the rampaging bronze coffin group.
Lu Qingyang darted to the main coffin, grinning as he stared at the groom in the 'Underworld Wedding Painting' on the coffin lid. "Ye Wuchen, this old bachelor, even when arranging a ghost marriage, he paints it as if he's getting married himself..."
The moment his sword tip pried open the Seal talisman paper, the entire marsh suddenly sank three zhang.
"Gurgle!" Amidst the surging turbid waves, three hundred ice coffins bloomed like lotuses.
The jade earrings of a female corpse in one of the coffins dangled, making his heart itch. Just as he was about to reach out, Su Li's Puppet Silk 'smacked' his hand. "That's the core of the Nine Yin Soul Locking Array!"
"You should have said so earlier!" Lu Qingyang shook his hand, heartbroken. "This clarity is enough to buy half of Rouge Alley..."
He suddenly widened his eyes, realizing that the pattern on the jade buckle of the necklace around the female corpse's neck was identical to the tie on the Drunken Immortal Pavilion's top courtesan's bellyband.
He slightly angled his sword, slicing off the necklace; the jade pendant felt warm in his hand, like a beauty's skin.
"Kan Li Inversion!" The moment the blood talisman exploded in mid-air, the cluster of ice coffins turned to dust.
Lu Qingyang, braving the flying ice shards, lunged towards the array core, the stolen goods in his embrace clinking.
As his vital essence seeped into the fragmented page of the 'Taiyi Pavilion Sin Canon', the entire underworld trembled violently, and the forest of steles collapsed like dominoes.
"Crash—" The moment the dome of the Rebirth Hall fell, he glimpsed a purple-gold gourd stuck in a crevice of the pillar.
Risking being crushed into a meat patty, he leaped to grab it. The instant his fingertips touched the gourd, the crow of a rooster heralded dawn from outside the hall.
Amidst the tearing sensation of spatial distortion, he desperately protected the treasures in his arms. "Mine! They're all mine!"
As the morning light pierced through the gloom, Lu Qingyang lay gasping by the edge of the Rebirth Well.
A bronze ring on a female corpse at the bottom of the well glowed faintly. He flung out an abacus bead, hooking the ring. "Beautiful lady, I'll take this token of love..."
His words abruptly stopped. The characters 'Ghost Calculator' engraved on the ring's surface were identical to the Seal of the Sect Leader of the Ghost Calculator sect, which was annihilated eighty years ago.
"Tsk, Ye Laozei is even greedy for a dead person's dowry." He tidied his disheveled hair in the well water, then caught a glimpse of his Shura Vertical Pupil in his left eye in the reflection, and suddenly grinned.
"This deal wasn't a loss. Changing eye color is much cheaper than a dye shop."