Entry #131 — Disappointment
“IT’S NO USE! IT’S NO FUCKING USE!
I can’t! I just can’t seem to keep them ALIVE!
I don’t know what the FUCK I’m doing wrong!
I’ve tried everything! EVERYTHING!“
——-—
Entry #134 — Soul Density
“I’ve come to realize something.
Awakened have different levels of potential.
I used to wonder why.
Why could I only ascend to [B-rank], while my childhood friend — the boy I grew up with like a brother… the boy who betrayed me — could reach [S-rank]?
Why can’t everyone continue developing their Origin Cards infinitely?
Why can’t we just keep absorbing Essence and leveling up our souls?
Now I know.
It’s because every soul has a Density.
I’ve confirmed this through my experiments. Even after fusion, some individuals retain their sense of self over their fused counterparts.
No matter how identical both Subjects are — in body, in background, in personality, even in powers — one of them always dominates the other.
And since I ensure the flesh is equally merged, that means the difference isn’t in the body at all.
It’s in the soul.
Some souls are simply heavier. Denser. And they always seem to hold higher potential than the ones they were fused with.“
——-—
Entry #135 — A Ray of Hope?
“If I’m right — if souls really do have Density — then I must confirm it.
I’ve done the math. But without observation, I can’t be certain.
However, that leads to another question — how does one even observe a soul?
After all, wasn’t that the whole point of this journey? Wasn’t this why I started these experiments? To understand the soul?
What is a soul?
Where is it?
It clearly doesn’t exist on the physical plane, and it can’t be seen by mundane people.
Even those Awakened with soul-related abilities don’t fully grasp it.
I asked one of them. He said the soul exists on another plane — like shadows. We could not see it, just its effects — like shadows.
It exists in a metaphysical realm. But even he didn’t really understand what that meant.
So how could I?
But I must.
I must.
I must observe a soul and find a way forward.
If not… if I fail… then what the fuck was all this for?!“
•••
The next few entries were either blank or filled with mad scrawlings — diagrams that made no sense, broken formulas, repeated words, chaotic crossings-out.
I assumed this was when Rexerd finally broke. He went mad. More than he already was back then.
I figured he never found the answer. He had no way forward. The weight of that failure must’ve crushed him.
But when I reached the last few entries…
…I realized I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Rexerd did go mad.
But not because he failed.
No.
He went mad because he was too close to the truth.
And when he finally grasped that truth, it seemed it was far more maddening than silence.
•••
Entry #I don’t fucking remember the number anymore…
“…I have seen it.
I had to do so much work.
After countless months of research…
After analyzing ancient texts, decrypting dead languages scattered all over the Spirit Realm, wandering through places no human should tread…
After venturing into deadly catacombs and dungeons, and meeting an eldritch creature that asked me for something precious in return for answering one of my questions…
I finally found a way.
A way to peek behind the veil of reality.
I found the backdoor.
And I looked through it.
I shouldn’t have…
I SHOULDN’T HAVE
I SHOULDN’T HAVE
I SHOULDN’T HAVE!!!!!!
GODDAMN IT!“
——-—
Entry #Unnumbered — Hidden Truth…
“I’ve learned things I shouldn’t have.
People are after me. I know it.
I’m not paranoid. I’M NOT!
The Monarchs are hiding things from the world.
Things like:
An ancient god in slumber, known as the Spirit King. I don’t know much about it. But this god, known as the King of Corruption, is not merciful.
Another horrifying entity as old as time itself, known only as The Lord of Stories.
A place where every knowledge is lost and found — Eternity’s Sea.
A plane of existence said to contain a book that possesses all knowledge that had ever existed, does exist, and will exist — Akashic Records.
A group of people called Warlocks.
And more, MUCH more. So much more!
But the most important secret… is the existence of the Threadweavers.
They can see what I saw.
What have I seen? I’ve seen the underside of reality.
I’ve seen the layer beneath the existence, the hidden framework under the surface of the physical world.
Our world isn’t built. It’s made.
Not from matter, but something resembling… codes? Strings of shimmering runes? Verses from the language of gods? Threads?
I don’t know. I have seen it.
But the Threadweavers — they could touch those threads. Alter them. Manipulate the world… without an Origin Card. They could edit the reality.
None of them are alive now. All dead.
But this is not a myth.
THIS IS NOT A MYTH!“
——-—
Entry #Unnumbered — No Way Forward
“After witnessing the Underreality, I’ve come to a devastating realization.
All my research was futile.
You can’t change a soul.
Not as mortals.
Because our souls are our code. Our data.
Only those who can interfere with the Underreality — only those who can edit the code — can alter their souls.
As for Origin Cards? What are they?
They’re not the physical manifestation of our souls.
No.
They’re just shards of divine artifacts… artificially attached to our souls.
They grow with us, yes. They’re entangled with our souls on such a quantum level that when they break, our souls shatter too.
But they are NOT our souls.
I should’ve realized this earlier — when I fused those two C-rankers. Even after their malformed Origin Card shattered, they lived… they wept for several hours.
That wouldn’t have been possible if Origin Cards were truly physical projections of our souls.
Which means… they’re nothing more than high-level attachments.
Just like Acquire Cards. The only difference is that they grow with the soul. Like a soulbound relic.
Which also means…
Our Origin Cards aren’t truly ours.
We’re NOT born with our innate powers. They’re given to us.
By who?
I don’t know.
Maybe… maybe the myth of the Nine Hands is true. Maybe our Cards are broken shards of the True Cards the old gods once gambled with to create the worlds.
But I don’t know anymore.“
——-—
Last Entry — Salvation
“Turns out, long before the Syndicate of the Nameless Lords reached out to recruit me, they already knew about my research.
They had all the answers I sought.
They were just testing me. Waiting to see if I’d find them on my own.
They offered me salvation.
And I took it.
I gave up my Origin Card.
Yes. I was right. Our Origin Cards are NOT our souls, and so they CAN be extracted unlike what we were taught.
Looks like the Monarchs have been lying to us AGAIN.
THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS.
They are Warlocks! All five of them! Every last one!
How dare they?
How dare they be Warlocks… and still keep so much knowledge hidden from us?!
Those DAMN hypocrites!
I’ll help the Nameless Lords.
I’ll help them kill the Monarchs.
I’LL KILL THOSE FUCKING LIARS!
After discarding my Origin Card, I formed a contract with a Scrient — a type of Essent.
I’m also a Warlock now.
My task is to assist Varion the Unbound in perfecting the Alchemy of Souls.
Because even if the Alchemy of Souls was a failure…
…it can still create monsters.
And we’re going to need a full army of monsters… to kill the modern gods of humanity.
I’ll kill them all.
I’ll kill the Monarchs.
This is my salvation.“