“Knowing you, I can roughly guess how things play out from here. Let’s see, you met me again but avoided me because you thought your feelings were fake and produced by an illusion, then you let your insecurity take hold and completely abandoned both me and Rose when we arrived at the Cloud Plane.”
Elena sneered unintentionally. “I’m not as forgiving as Rose. She might’ve brushed this matter off, but I have no desire to do so.”
Elena wiped the tears from her face and looked directly at Damien. Maybe when this conversation first began, she was afraid of facing him, but it wasn’t the same now.
With his words, her bottled-up emotions were set aflame. She couldn’t control herself anymore.
“What, did you think that this conversation would fix anything? Did you think telling me the reason behind your actions would matter? Sure, things are justified if you look at it from your perspective, but what about me?”
“I spent YEARS waiting for you to look at me when we were still on Earth. Do you know how much that hurt? Even when you were doing your best to survive, was I not doing the same?”
“I was one of the most talented people after the World Awakening, and at the same time, I was one of the most powerful. For me to love someone who the world considered trash, do you know how much bullshit I had to go through?”
“Political power was still a strong force on Earth back then. Reputation meant everything. And it’s not like I hid my love at all. The blindest of people could understand my feelings. Think for a second. I had beauty and talent yet the only man in my eyes was trash. How do you think others reacted?”
Elena took a few deep breaths to calm herself before continuing.
“Attempts on your life, attempts on your mother’s life, nasty rumors that tried to destroy you, do you know how much I protected you back then? And you’re saying you only viewed me as a pillar?! As a support you could use whenever you were feeling down?!”
Elena’s voice crescendoed into a roar. And hearing what she had to say, Damien felt ashamed to the core.
It was true that he never considered it. He looked down on Earth too much, thinking that there was no way weaklings in the 2nd class could do anything major.
But he forgot that back then, he was a Classless weakling without even the physical stats of an average human.
It was obvious when he thought about it. It was impossible for the incident with Jin to have been a one-of-a-kind thing.
His body shuddered.
How many dungeons did he go into back then? How many times was he almost killed while being none the wiser? And how many times was his mother targeted with Elena placing him under her protection?
The guilt he felt was multiplied manyfold in a single instant.
But Elena wasn’t done.
“And that was just before you fell. But, I can’t be too harsh about the time when you were in the dungeon since you were going through something far worse than me. I can at least understand the sentiment you held at that time.
“But just because I understand it doesn’t mean I’ll discount my own efforts. Did you ever acknowledge it? The fact that I, someone from Earth, someone with far worse conditions, was able to keep up with you even a little when you returned, did you ever even say a word of praise?”
“I’m not saying that I desired your praise so desperately, but I at least wanted my efforts to be seen. For the sole goal of staying by your side when you returned, I worked tirelessly. I was in dungeons every day. I never stopped killing, never stopped bathing myself in blood for this one purpose. The number of times I almost died is uncountable at this point.
“But when you came back, you had another woman by your side. Can you even imagine how torn I felt at that moment?”
Elena paused, sighing helplessly. “Again, I can’t blame you here. How can I blame you for falling in love with Rose? During the time I’ve spent with Rose, I’ve come to wholly understand why you fell for her, and I support it as well.
“Still, try putting yourself in my shoes. If Rose never accepted your feelings, if you returned to Earth alone and upon visiting Apeiron later learned that Rose found another husband, how would that feel?”
Damien didn’t have to answer her question. The bubbling rage he felt from just a mention of the scenario was enough. If it actually happened…
“You wouldn’t be able to stand it right?” Elena voiced his thoughts.
“Yet, I withstood it. I stayed beside you even while knowing I had no chance, I buried my feelings and accepted my role as your childhood friend…all so I could stand by your side.”
“And what did you give in return for my devotion? You abandoned me. You left me with the woman who stole my love and went to play around on your own. What kind of horribly dense person do you have to be to make that decision? Or were you too selfish to even consider the damage you caused?”
Elena shook her head lightly. “Everything turned out fine, though. Unlike you, Rose understood my struggle and supported me. If it weren’t for her help, maybe I would’ve already abandoned my love for you. And if that had happened, it would’ve been nobody’s fault but yours.”
Damien gritted his teeth. He felt humiliated. It wasn’t Elena’s words, but his past actions that caused this feeling. Without Elena’s rant, he would’ve never known.
He was too selfish. He never considered it for even a second. Even now, when he came to have this conversation with Elena, he never considered how deep her grievance would be.
Instead of feeling closer to her, he felt like their rift was widening.
Elena sighed to herself. She knew just as well as Damien that her rant wasn’t having any positive effects on their relationship. But it had a positive effect on her. She was finally able to release the weight on her chest.
And if Damien was allowed to be selfish for so long, she was allowed to do the same.
“I don’t want these feelings to interfere with the current us,” Elena muttered. “From the day you accepted my feelings, I also accepted you, whether it be the good or the bad. I slept with you knowing that my grudge would have to vanish.
“But I still feel that you need to know about it. Know that I am not saying all of this to demoralize you or hurt you, I’m saying it so you can realize your mistakes. Knowing you, you didn’t know any of this before now, right?”
Damien nodded slowly. He couldn’t refute her.
“I only want you to grow. I want you to become a person who doesn’t make these kinds of mistakes anymore. I want our relationship to last an eternity, and for that, we can’t ignore the problems of the past.”
Elena reached out. Her cold hand covered Damien’s, intertwining her fingers with his.
“By being open and honest with each other, we’ve finally set the foundation. All that’s left is to build ourselves into different people and grow. And for that…”
“I’ll be leaving to focus on myself for a while.”