Chapter 360: A Sea of Grey
“They… fucking nuked everyone?”
Hannah’s words were almost like a part of the blast — causing everyone to hold their breaths as they tried their hardest not to stray their eyes away from the ashes that now surrounded them. Even Bella, who was barely awake, looked at the bones that were now being blown away by the wind like dust.
The only one that wasn’t really looking at the destruction was Paragon, whose feet were already leaving the ground as he flew into the air.
“…” Silvie watched as Paragon’s silhouette slowly disappeared into the grey and ominous clouds, before closing her eyes and also following him to the air; linen, suddenly wrapping around her naked body as she disappeared.
How… could something like this happen? This… was supposed to be her first mission with her friends after all this time. Silvie thought that it was just another terrorist group that she could easily deal with, and with her friends beside her — they were invincible.
…She forgot about the people.
Because she was with her friends, she thought that everything would be fine. She became confident even though Hannah specifically ordered them not to underestimate the enemy — she was the only one that could’ve known.
She was the only one that could’ve known about the bomb. She could’ve heard it if she tried hard enough.
She could’ve prevented this from happening.
And soon, she opened her eyes… and very soon, she proved herself wrong.
She wasn’t going to save anyone. Not from this… grey desert.
The buildings, if they were standing, were barely even recognizable. It wasn’t until she focused through the horizon that she saw anything in tact — but even then, if she looked further, she knew she would find another desert like this one… because beyond the light she sees, is another darkness.
The people that weren’t in the blast radius should be alive… but they weren’t even sure how many bombs they let loose — the radiation will get those that were unlucky enough to survive.
“What… what have we done?” Silvie’s lips started to tremble as tears quickly trailed on her face, “What… what have we— Gah!”
She then covered her eyes as she curled up in the air, “I… I can hear them, people… people hurt everywhere. Screaming… crying, asking for help. I failed… I failed to protect them.”
“…” Paragon, who was floating near her, could really only watch as Silvie started whispering to herself — a familiar scenery.
“My purpose… it’s my purpose and I… I failed,” Silvie’s eyes started to tremble, “I failed… no… no!”
And out of nowhere, Silvie started hitting herself in the head repeatedly, “No, no, no, no!”
“My god… what— Silvie!?”
Hannah, who also wanted to check the situation, quickly looked away from the destruction as soon as she heard Silvie screaming.
“…” Paragon could really only float back as he heard Hannah’s voice getting nearer and nearer.
“It… It’s happening again?” Hannah lowered her voice as she flew in front of Silvie, “I… thought it was gone?”
“The… the terrorists we… we need to eliminate… I will eliminate all of them.”
“…” Hannah could only close her eyes and sigh as she heard Silvie’s words, “Just breathe… okay? I’ll…
…I’ll administer the medication,” Hannah then also took in a deep breath… before slapping Silvie’s face as hard as she could.
“Fuck!” Hannah started flailing her hands in pain as Silvie did not even budge an inch. She did, however, stop whispering to herself.
“…” She didn’t really say anything as she slowly looked at Hannah… and just nodded before once again looking at the sea of destruction that surrounded them.
“I… hear so many screams,” Silvie then said as she glanced at Hannah, “I want to help but… I don’t know… most of them are already dying, I can’t—”
“Hey, snap the fuck out of it,” Hannah clapped her hands on Silvie’s face, “Most are dying, that means some are still alive. We can’t save everyone, that’s the first thing they taught us in the Academy. We help–”
“We help those we can help,” Silvie finished Hannah’s sentence as she nodded.
“Well, yes… but get dressed first,” Hannah shook her head before pointing at the towel that was wrapped around her, “You don’t want to find out when Paige’s illusion will run out.”
“…Yeah,” Silvie forced a smile, before completely disappearing from her spot; leaving only a thunder that rippled through the grey clouds.
And as soon as she was nowhere to be seen, Hannah let out a loud and very deep gasp as tears also started falling from her eyes.
“F… fuck,” she stuttered as her entire body began to tremble,
“This… this is Darkday all over again. Fuck… fuck,” her breaths started to get deeper and more erratic by the second as nothing but death reflected in her eyes. But soon, she noticed Paragon staring at her.
She quickly looked away and forced herself to calm down,
“What… what the fuck you looking at? If you have time to ogle then go help some people,” Hannah was about to fly away, but before she could do so…
…Paragon suddenly grabbed her wrist.
“Wha—”
And before she could utter a word, Paragon suddenly but gently wrapped his arms around her.
“W… what are you doing!?” Hannah tried to push him away, but found that she could not — strength or conviction, Hannah doesn’t really know which of the two she lacked to push him away.
“It’s okay, Nuclear Seraph.”
“…What the fuck are you saying?”
“It’s okay to cry. It’s… human.”
“Being a human is the last thing we need to be right now!” Hannah once again tried to push him away, but still, they remained still, “We need to be a superhero and save–”
“An old woman told me that two things can be true at once,” Riley slightly leaned his cheek on Hannah’s head, “You can be a superhero, and a human at the same time.”
“The fuck do you think you are, Gandhi?” Hannah once again tried to push herself away, “Stop it, I… I don’t need your fucking bullshit right now.”
“…” Paragon did not really say anything more as he just brushed Hannah’s hair.
“…” And as soon as Hannah felt this, she quickly bit her lip, trying her best not to let out another tear.
“I know you’re strong, Hannah. The strongest.”
“…I thought you were the strongest?”
“I was just trying to be arrogant,” Riley sighed, “Arrogance seems to be the prominent human trait.”
“What are you, a fucking alien?” Hannah giggled; sniffling at the same time as she wiped the tear that almost fell from her eye.
“No. I am R—”
“Hm?” Hannah quickly turned her head towards Riley’s face as she blinked a couple of times.
“I… am sorry that we are going through this together again.”
“…” Hannah was finally able to push herself away from Paragon as she looked at him straight in the eyes, “What do you mean agai–”
And before Hannah could inquire any further, she noticed Paige floating near them… staring at her.
“P… Paige,” Hannah slowly floated back, “This… this isn’t what it looks like. I’m not trying to—”
And once again, before Hannah could finish her words, Paige rushed towards her… and hugged her as well.
“…”
“We… we can get through this,” Paige then whispered as she suddenly burst out in tears.
“…” Hannah did not really say anything… as she just returned her embrace,
“…Yeah,” she then whispered, “And we’re going to make sure that the others will too. I’ll try to check on survivors. Let’s meet back in the shelter— what’s left of the shelter after an hour.”
“Hm.”
“The comms are fried and I can’t contact Empress… so we’re alone right now.” And with those words, Hannah quickly flew away.
“…”
“…”
Paige then very slowly turned to Riley as tears once again started to fall from her eyes… and without any words, also embraced him.
“…”
“…”
“You… miss your sister, don’t you?” She then said as she rested her head on his chest.
“…No?”
“You do… I would know. The feeling of wanting, the feeling of loss. The feeling of not knowing what something is because you’re just not capable of processing affection.”
“…”
“Your mind… it doesn’t know what it’s feeling and it’s just causing you to think of other ways to show it. And… and that’s okay. It’s not normal and it will probably never be normal…
…but that… that’s okay, you know?”
“…”
Riley could really only stay still as he tried to find the meaning in Paige’s words. He wanted to say something, but what?
“I… I understand… Not completely, not what you’re feeling, but I understand. And sometimes… I wish I could feel what it feels like not to feel. It’s confusing, I know but… so many people just died here. I saw… I saw them from above as they melt and…
…I sometimes wish I could just be like you.”
“…”
“When… when the other children in the orphanage were able to laugh or just stay quiet because they didn’t know how to process the sadness and the pain they were feeling. I sometimes hoped that I could— I’m sorry. Oh my god, I’m so sorry… that was… that was so insensitive.”
“…”
“You… I know you want to feel the same things that we—”
And then, Paige’s words were finally disrupted as Riley slowly and gently pushed her away; still holding her shoulders as he looked her straight in the eyes.
“Can you teach me?”
“Hm?” Paige blinked a couple of times, slightly confused by his words.
“How to feel? How to be human?”
“…” Hearing Riley’s words, Paige could not help but let out a small giggle as she wiped the tears on her face, before gently holding both of Riley’s cheeks,
“I am probably not the best teacher when it comes to humanity. I’m fucked up and damaged.”
“Fucked up and damaged. Isn’t that a human trait?”
“Maybe?” Paige chuckled softly as she shrugged, before shaking her head and once again looking Riley straight in the eyes,
“But you don’t need to be human. You don’t need to change.”
“…”
“A monster, the devil, a human. You can be all of them, and you can also choose not to be any of them,” Paige let out a long and heavy sigh,
“I can’t teach you how to be you.”
“…”
“But what I can do…” Paige closed her eyes as she rested her forehead on Paragon’s mask, “… is accept you no matter what. You can be the devil, you can be whatever. I will accept you…
…because I love you.”
And so, in a sea of nothing but death; in a nightmare devoid of any color…
…something bloomed.
It’s not love, it’s not friendship — but a covenant as pure as the destruction it was made in.
And whether the fruit that it will bear be death or life, no one knows.