My vacation in Australia had been great for the first few days. I visited the Daintree Rainforest, got to enjoy Taronga zoo and tour around Sydney.
Then today I finally went out to go swimming in the ocean when a freak thunderstorm whipped up out of nowhere.
Lightning started flashing in the sky all around me as I panic swam back to shore.
I had gone pretty far out from the shore following schools of fishes and had to hightail it back as fast as possible.
I swam like my life depended on it mainly because it did.
In my haste, I splashed up a storm moving my arms and legs as fast and with as much force as I could muster all the while thinking 'I am not going to get struck by fucking lightning on my first vacation in years'.
After vigorously swimming for what felt like hours (in all actuality it was only a couple of minutes), I look back to see how close the storm was, and it was now right over my head.
After glancing at the impending storm, I notice that my rowdy swimming has attracted a friend.
A huge razor sharped toothed friend that looks hungry and is easily three times my size.
In this moment I wondered what the world has against me and why it decided I had to die one way or another.
I begin moving towards the shore again as fast as my arms and legs can take me with renewed strength, hoping that my huge new shark friend would not be interested in me.
However, contrary to my whishes in just a few seconds I see big ol Brucy swimming under me right before they point their head at me with their big toothy maw aimed right for my body.
I abruptly stop my life flashing before my eyes thinking 'what did I do to deserve this, I certainly wasn't a perfect person, but I never did anything so bad as to go out this way.'
Then bang the shark impacts into my body pushing me out of the water with the shark right behind me.
By some miracle, my abrupt stop messed up the sharks aim and instead of being grabbed by its mouth full of sharp deadly teeth, I was knocked into the air by its snout.
Nevertheless, that still hurt like hell and the shark's mouth is once again directed towards me on our descent back into the water when all of a sudden there is a huge flash and a loud boom.
After being completely disoriented by the recent events I eventually make it back to the surface of the water.
The sight in front of me blew my mind, the shark that almost ate me was struck by lightning while in the air and now sits roasted on the surface of the water.
I had heard that both the odds of being struck by lightning or being attacked by a shark are quite unlikely but the odds of a shark being struck by lightning must be astronomical.
Well better you than me Brucy.
Reveling in my good luck, and that I got out of that situation with nothing more than a bruised side, I make my way back towards the shore albeit at a slower and calmer pace as to not attract the ire of the world again.
Finally, I had made it back to the beach exhausted as hell, and being rained on as the storm raged on all around me.
After panting heavily for a few minutes to regain my stamina after swimming with everything I had so as to not die, I begin to make my way back over to the stuff I had left on the beach.
Once I make it back to where I had set up on the beach, I find that all my stuff is gone either because someone took it, or the storm blew it away.
As I look around, I notice that everyone has already vacated the beach, but I guess there is no surprise there, as it was currently raining cats and dogs out here.
'Well, it could have been worse I only lost a beach towel, a cheap bag, my sunscreen, sunglasses, and a water bottle'.
After the near-death experience, I had just gone through I had to look on the positive side of things.
I manage to head back to the locker where the rest my stuff was stored and at last get out of this infernal storm.
After multiple attempts to remember the passcode, I eventually get the locker open and I am reunited with my possessions.
I dry off with the spare towel I brought and get changed into some fresh and dry clothes.
Now wearing my fresh and dry t-shirt and blue jeans I had a new predicament.
I had no sort of protection from the rain such as an umbrella or a jacket and I refused to get soaked again after finally getting dry.
I take out my phone which still had over sixty percent battery even though with all that had gone wrong today I expected it to be dead.
Checking the weather, I found that the storm blew in quick and is predicted to move out just as fast in a few minutes.
After around ten more minutes the storm has passed by and the sun was shining once again.
'Even though I only have three days left in Australia I think I've had enough excitement for one day and am going to spend the rest of the day lounging around my hotel room'.
I call for a cab to come pick me up because after what had happened earlier today, I was in no mood to walk to the nearest bus station.
Once the cab arrived, I got in and gave him the address of the hotel I was staying at and enjoyed the ride back to my temporary abode.
As we were driving back while passing through an intersection a truck ran a red light and nearly plowed straight into the cab, I was in.
'Holy shit they missed us by just a few inches I swear I am not going out via truck. The world must want me to have a heart attack. Okay world message received I will be a better person I'll start recycling more, get a hybrid, donate to charity just please stop trying to kill me today.'
At long last the cab pulled into my hotel.
I exchanged some niceties and then payed the driver.
I scurried into the hotel and up to my room as fast as possible and when I closed the door to my room, I could finally breathe easy again.
'Okay I am not leaving my room for the rest of the day, I need a shower and some food, and then I am spending the rest of the day in bed.'
After getting out of the shower I dried off and ordered up some room service.
I would not normally do so, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
I ordered the most expensive thing they had, the lobster thermidor. Almost dying three times in one day makes a man want to try new things.
After eating the quite delicious lobster thermidor I spent the rest of the day watching videos and reading a book.
Once the day turned to evening the fatigue from the day's activities started to encroach on me and I decide to call it a night and get some shut eye to recover.
Right before sleep overcame me, I thought 'todays has been one crazy day but I still have three days left on my vacation and as much as I like the beach, I probably will not be returning any time soon. There is still plenty to do here like visit the opera house, maybe that's what I'll do tomorrow'.
Unfortunately, I never did get to visit the opera house or do anything else on Earth for that matter because I never woke up again after going to sleep that day.
