Eguchi-Ren: The reason why the shops are called Suzuki’s Bakery and Tanaka’s Liquor Store it’s because those are the most common Japanese surnames (laughs in Japanese)
Of course, it has nothing to do with actual existing shops.
Gumihou: Unlike, say… Wakudonald or Kantacky? (laughs in translated Japanese)
“Alright, Goddesses-sama, I shall take your orders now. As usual, Ninril-sama first?”
“Naturally! This mistress wants her usual. Fujiya cakes!”
I nodded agreeably as I opened up Fujiya’s window. [1] “Anything in particular?”
“Umu, 1 big whole cake. I love those. There’s enough cake for me to properly indulge myself.”
Is Ninril-sama going to eat the whole cake by herself? [2] Ninril-sama, you’re not afraid of getting overweight? Maa, well, it has nothing to do with me, your health is in your own hands so to speak.
“1 large whole cake, please pick the flavour you want,”
“Hmm, hmm, that one! The one with lots of red and purple fruits!”
s
Red and purple- oh, it’s the Strawberry & Blueberry Whole Cake (large). [6] Well, I guess the extra fruits should be good for her? [1] Anyway, I placed the Whole Cake (large) into the cart.
“As for the rest, I want the ones that come in lots of choices.”
Lots of choices… hmm, I guess she’s talking about the shortcakes? Fujiya has a good selection of those and- “Oh, Ninril-sama, it looks like Fujiya has a new line of products. Milk Chocolate Cream Cake, Chocolate Mille-Feuille, and Kyoho Grape [9] Cheesecake,”
“Nuuooo— New products you say?! Yes! That! I want!”
“Yes, yes,” I checked those and placed them into the cart along with a few other standard types. “Anything else?”
“Umu… Ah, Dorayaki! I want different types. Oh, and a bag of sweets!”
I continued to nod as I chose a gift packet of 20 pieces of luxury Dorayaki in 4 different fillings: regular red bean paste, luxury Ogura bean paste, chestnut, and sweet potatoes. I also included a selection of mini baumkuchen [10] and scotch cakes. Oh, and a bag of sweets to make up the 1 gold coin.
Green tea baumkuchen (Shutterstock Photo)
“Next, Kishar-sama, please,”
“Yes, it is I. Haahh… I really thought I’d get a drugstore… I’m so disappointed…”
Ah, it’s not like I can do anything about that. [5] However, I wisely maintained my silence., not wanting to provoke this beauty otaku.
“Maa, it can’t be helped I suppose. For now, let’s get three sets of shampoo and conditioner. I want them in different scents. My hair is very long and needs constant tender care. The one I have last time is running out [5].”
[6] [8] “Of course, of course,” let’s see, Kishar-sama mentioned something about dry hair, didn’t she? [2] That’s kind of a universal complaint among people with long hair. Let’s see, from the list of moisturising shampoo and conditioner sets…
“How about a Jasmine Scented Moisturising Shampoo and Conditioner set? Jasmine has a very elegant scent that’s often used in brewing tea. A scent that’s both lovely and refined.”
“Lovely and refined? Sounds good, I’ll have that.”
[8] I nodded, putting the product into the shopping cart.
“My next recommendation is a Moisturising Shampoo and Conditioner set imbued with the sweet scent of berries and flowers. It has a stronger fragrance than the Jasmine with a much sweeter scent.”
“Fruits and flowers? Well, I suppose there are times when it would be nice to have stronger and sweeter scents. I’ll have that one too.”
[5] “Excellent choice. Next is the slightly more expensive rose-scented Moisturising Shampoo and Conditioner set imbued with the essences of roses. Aside from its luxurious scent, it also has the ability to repair hair tips leading to softer and wondrously beautiful hair.” I read dutifully from the description, wondering who came up with all these fantastical descriptions [11].
“… softer and wondrously beautiful hair… I’ll take it!” [5]
“Wonderful! Kishar-sama still has a little over 3 silver coins, what would you like to spend them on?”
“I wonder… I bought a lot of face product last time…” [5]
“How about some liquid soaps? Unlike solid soaps, it has better moisturising effects on the skin,”
“Oh, these things exist? I love the scented soaps, but liquid soaps that could moisturise. Yes, I want those!” [5] [8] “I shall recommend three different types of liquid moisturising soaps. First, a moisturising liquid soap imbued with the invigorating effects of honey.”
[6] “Oh, honey has a lot of healing effects,”
[8] “The next one is a new product imbued with moisturising cream that will remain on your skin and would not easily wash off with water…”
[6] “Soaps with moisturising cream?!”
[8] “And finally, liquid soap with scented oil that moisturises the skin and freshens up the body,” [5]
“Ahh, which one should I chose? They all sound so good~?”
[8] Ahaha, I could hear the ecstasy in her voice and know just what I have to do to close this sale.
[8] “Kishar-sama has enough credit to purchase all three items. These are, of course, the small size bottles. Depending on Kishar-sama’s preference, you could purchase larger bottles next time.”
[8] “Yes! Excellent suggestion. Do that!” [5]
“Kishar-sama still has 1 silver coin left, is there anything else you might want?”
“Hmm, is there anything good at that price?”
You’re leaving everything to me again?
If that’s the case…
“There’s a type of moisturizing cream that could be applied after washing. It’s called body cream, what does Kishar-sama think?”
“A cream for the body? Very well, pick a good one for me.”
Again? [5]
Well, “Ah, how about this Shea butter product? It’s made from vegetable oil and moisturises the skin very well.”
“Excellent, fufufu, with this, my face, hair and body will be well moisturised and beautiful.”
Nice, looks like Kishar-sama is happy with her purchase.
Next, “Agni-sama?”
“Ou, the usual beer and some cheap and simple snacks. Get the cheapest. Beer is the priority here, I’d rather have no snacks than less beer,”
Ah, a beer addiction. [2] Well, it can’t be helped since beer is great after work, delicious after you get out of a bath and great in between jobs too.
“If that’s the case, how about getting 2 cases of beer? 1 gold coin is just enough for two cases of beer. Alternatively, you can have one case and a variety like before.”
“Hmm, I think I’ll go for the second option. 1 case of the usual blue and gold one, those are damned tasty. [5]”
“I see, I see,” I said as I clicked on S company’s premium beers, or was it company A’s beers? Oops which one is it? I had better show her.
“Excuse me, Agni-sama, is it the first one or the second one?”
“Oooh, the second one, definitely,” there was something fervent about her voice… [5] “Ahem, for the other beers, what do you have in mind?”
“Hmm, I like the gold canned beers. For the rest pick some good ones for me.”
Entrance to Museum of YEBISU BEER
[6] Yebisu do come in different coloured cans, but their signature colour is gold, just like the two cans that stood sentry in front of the Museum of Yebisu Beer, so I guess she must mean those. Let’s see… a half pack of these and, oh, Y-bis has some limited edition product on sale that comes in a red can which, according to the description, is said to be both rich and mellow.
Probably this one?
I wish Company S would release some of their older beer lines… ah well. I picked another limited edition product, this time a No. 3 product from Company A. The description says it’s rich and mellow with a faintly floral scent and clear taste. I got the 6-pack versions of these random products.
The remaining budget after purchasing these beers was just a little over 1 silver coin. So I bought a bunch of different flavoured potato chips and Kaki no Tane [12] in regular and slightly spicy wasabi flavour.
Kaki no Tane from Kakumag.com
Well, that’s Agni-sama’s part done.
Next, “Ruka-sama?”
“…cake… ice-cream…”
Again? Well, she really does seem to like sweet things a lot. [1] I can sort of understand her obsession with ice-creams. [6] It’s a cold and sweet treat that comes in a variety of flavours after all.
“Would you like to have the same flavours as before?”
“I want the white Ice-Cream Cake and… different things for the rest.” [5] [4] “I see,” [6] another goddess leaving everything to me. Should I be flattered? Anyway, let’s go with the Chocolate Cream Cake, Chocolate Mille-Feuille and the Kyoho Grape Cheesecake that I had chosen for Ninril-sama. Even after choosing all these, there was still a bit of money left.
[8] “Ruka-sama, after the Ice-Cream Cake and Limited Editions cakes, you still have quite a bit of budget left. Would you like to spend it on a selection of the standard cakes and ice-creams?” [5]
“Yes, cakes are delicious no matter how many times I eat it.”
Okay, let’s see. [1] Let’s choose a series of different shortcakes as well as different types of cup ice-creams… oh, they have Ice-Cream Puffs too! [6] I’m sure Ruka-sama will enjoy these decadent Choux buns filled to the brim with ice-cream.
Hokkaido Ice Cream Puff from my.openrice.com
Alright, that’s it for Ruka-sama.
“Yosh, it’s our turn next!”
“Ou! Let’s take our time choosing~” [5]
“Hold it!” the strident voice of Ninril-sama blasted over like a gale. “We’re not going to tolerate standing around here while you two drunks dither over your liquor. Oi, you! Send the offerings to the goddesses first!”
“As Ninril-sama said, it is a little unfair to have us wait while they choose their liquor. Other worlder-kun, please send our offerings first. I must try out today’s shampoos, treatment and body soaps as soon as possible.”
“That’s right! That’s right! I want my beer now! [5]”
“Cake and ice-cream, fast.”
Well, I can’t blame the goddesses for saying this… [5]
“Hephaestus-sama, Vulcan-sama, is it alright if I send my offerings to the goddesses-sama first?”
“Maa, it will be too noisy otherwise,”
“It can’t be helped, just do what you have to do,”
Now that everyone was in agreement, I checked out the items and placed them on cardboard boxes in order of their proper grouping.
“Goddesses-sama, please receive these humble offerings.”
A flash of light, a series of high pitched cheers and a scattering of footsteps scampering away later, I opened my eyes and sighed. What absolute lack of dignity… [5]
Haah… [5]
“Now then, we must take a close look at everything. Yes, War God?”
“Absolutely, we must take our time and choose wisely,”
It’s going to be a long night, I can tell…
[Gumihou: I had fun looking up pictures of the things mentioned here~]
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken
[9] Kyoho Grapes
https://favy-jp.com/topics/1856
[10] Baumkuchen – A spit roasted cake originating from Germany. Very, very popular in Japan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baumkuchen
https://www.dailysabah.com/life/food/patience-solidified-baumkuchen-the-german-layered-tree-cake (This one has a recipe!)
[11] The shampoo descriptions… came from Gumi, lol! I mean, Eguchi-sama did came up with the bare bones, xx flowers, hair repair etc, but then Gumi embellished it to entice the goddess.
Eguchi-Ren: The reason why the shops are called Suzuki’s Bakery and Tanaka’s Liquor Store it’s because those are the most common Japanese surnames (laughs in Japanese)
Of course, it has nothing to do with actual existing shops.
Gumihou: Unlike, say… Wakudonald or Kantacky? (laughs in translated Japanese)
“Alright, Goddesses-sama, I shall take your orders now. As usual, Ninril-sama first?”
“Naturally! This mistress wants her usual. Fujiya cakes!”
I nodded agreeably as I opened up Fujiya’s window. [1] “Anything in particular?”
“Umu, 1 big whole cake. I love those. There’s enough cake for me to properly indulge myself.”
Is Ninril-sama going to eat the whole cake by herself? [2] Ninril-sama, you’re not afraid of getting overweight? Maa, well, it has nothing to do with me, your health is in your own hands so to speak.
“1 large whole cake, please pick the flavour you want,”
“Hmm, hmm, that one! The one with lots of red and purple fruits!”
Red and purple- oh, it’s the Strawberry & Blueberry Whole Cake (large). [6] Well, I guess the extra fruits should be good for her? [1] Anyway, I placed the Whole Cake (large) into the cart.
“As for the rest, I want the ones that come in lots of choices.”
Lots of choices… hmm, I guess she’s talking about the shortcakes? Fujiya has a good selection of those and- “Oh, Ninril-sama, it looks like Fujiya has a new line of products. Milk Chocolate Cream Cake, Chocolate Mille-Feuille, and Kyoho Grape [9] Cheesecake,”
“Nuuooo— New products you say?! Yes! That! I want!”
“Yes, yes,” I checked those and placed them into the cart along with a few other standard types. “Anything else?”
“Umu… Ah, Dorayaki! I want different types. Oh, and a bag of sweets!”
I continued to nod as I chose a gift packet of 20 pieces of luxury Dorayaki in 4 different fillings: regular red bean paste, luxury Ogura bean paste, chestnut, and sweet potatoes. I also included a selection of mini baumkuchen [10] and scotch cakes. Oh, and a bag of sweets to make up the 1 gold coin.
Green tea baumkuchen (Shutterstock Photo)
“Next, Kishar-sama, please,”
“Yes, it is I. Haahh… I really thought I’d get a drugstore… I’m so disappointed…”
Ah, it’s not like I can do anything about that. [5] However, I wisely maintained my silence., not wanting to provoke this beauty otaku.
“Maa, it can’t be helped I suppose. For now, let’s get three sets of shampoo and conditioner. I want them in different scents. My hair is very long and needs constant tender care. The one I have last time is running out [5].”
[6] [8] “Of course, of course,” let’s see, Kishar-sama mentioned something about dry hair, didn’t she? [2] That’s kind of a universal complaint among people with long hair. Let’s see, from the list of moisturising shampoo and conditioner sets…
“How about a Jasmine Scented Moisturising Shampoo and Conditioner set? Jasmine has a very elegant scent that’s often used in brewing tea. A scent that’s both lovely and refined.”
“Lovely and refined? Sounds good, I’ll have that.”
[8] I nodded, putting the product into the shopping cart.
“My next recommendation is a Moisturising Shampoo and Conditioner set imbued with the sweet scent of berries and flowers. It has a stronger fragrance than the Jasmine with a much sweeter scent.”
“Fruits and flowers? Well, I suppose there are times when it would be nice to have stronger and sweeter scents. I’ll have that one too.”
[5] “Excellent choice. Next is the slightly more expensive rose-scented Moisturising Shampoo and Conditioner set imbued with the essences of roses. Aside from its luxurious scent, it also has the ability to repair hair tips leading to softer and wondrously beautiful hair.” I read dutifully from the description, wondering who came up with all these fantastical descriptions [11].
“… softer and wondrously beautiful hair… I’ll take it!” [5]
“Wonderful! Kishar-sama still has a little over 3 silver coins, what would you like to spend them on?”
“I wonder… I bought a lot of face product last time…” [5]
“How about some liquid soaps? Unlike solid soaps, it has better moisturising effects on the skin,”
“Oh, these things exist? I love the scented soaps, but liquid soaps that could moisturise. Yes, I want those!” [5] [8] “I shall recommend three different types of liquid moisturising soaps. First, a moisturising liquid soap imbued with the invigorating effects of honey.”
[6] “Oh, honey has a lot of healing effects,”
[8] “The next one is a new product imbued with moisturising cream that will remain on your skin and would not easily wash off with water…”
[6] “Soaps with moisturising cream?!”
[8] “And finally, liquid soap with scented oil that moisturises the skin and freshens up the body,” [5]
“Ahh, which one should I chose? They all sound so good~?”
[8] Ahaha, I could hear the ecstasy in her voice and know just what I have to do to close this sale.
[8] “Kishar-sama has enough credit to purchase all three items. These are, of course, the small size bottles. Depending on Kishar-sama’s preference, you could purchase larger bottles next time.”
[8] “Yes! Excellent suggestion. Do that!” [5]
“Kishar-sama still has 1 silver coin left, is there anything else you might want?”
“Hmm, is there anything good at that price?”
You’re leaving everything to me again?
If that’s the case…
“There’s a type of moisturizing cream that could be applied after washing. It’s called body cream, what does Kishar-sama think?”
“A cream for the body? Very well, pick a good one for me.”
Again? [5]
Well, “Ah, how about this Shea butter product? It’s made from vegetable oil and moisturises the skin very well.”
“Excellent, fufufu, with this, my face, hair and body will be well moisturised and beautiful.”
Nice, looks like Kishar-sama is happy with her purchase.
Next, “Agni-sama?”
“Ou, the usual beer and some cheap and simple snacks. Get the cheapest. Beer is the priority here, I’d rather have no snacks than less beer,”
Ah, a beer addiction. [2] Well, it can’t be helped since beer is great after work, delicious after you get out of a bath and great in between jobs too.
“If that’s the case, how about getting 2 cases of beer? 1 gold coin is just enough for two cases of beer. Alternatively, you can have one case and a variety like before.”
“Hmm, I think I’ll go for the second option. 1 case of the usual blue and gold one, those are damned tasty. [5]”
“I see, I see,” I said as I clicked on S company’s premium beers, or was it company A’s beers? Oops which one is it? I had better show her.
“Excuse me, Agni-sama, is it the first one or the second one?”
“Oooh, the second one, definitely,” there was something fervent about her voice… [5] “Ahem, for the other beers, what do you have in mind?”
“Hmm, I like the gold canned beers. For the rest pick some good ones for me.”
Entrance to Museum of YEBISU BEER
[6] Yebisu do come in different coloured cans, but their signature colour is gold, just like the two cans that stood sentry in front of the Museum of Yebisu Beer, so I guess she must mean those. Let’s see… a half pack of these and, oh, Y-bis has some limited edition product on sale that comes in a red can which, according to the description, is said to be both rich and mellow.
Probably this one?
I wish Company S would release some of their older beer lines… ah well. I picked another limited edition product, this time a No. 3 product from Company A. The description says it’s rich and mellow with a faintly floral scent and clear taste. I got the 6-pack versions of these random products.
The remaining budget after purchasing these beers was just a little over 1 silver coin. So I bought a bunch of different flavoured potato chips and Kaki no Tane [12] in regular and slightly spicy wasabi flavour.
Kaki no Tane from Kakumag.com
Well, that’s Agni-sama’s part done.
Next, “Ruka-sama?”
“…cake… ice-cream…”
Again? Well, she really does seem to like sweet things a lot. [1] I can sort of understand her obsession with ice-creams. [6] It’s a cold and sweet treat that comes in a variety of flavours after all.
“Would you like to have the same flavours as before?”
“I want the white Ice-Cream Cake and… different things for the rest.” [5] [4] “I see,” [6] another goddess leaving everything to me. Should I be flattered? Anyway, let’s go with the Chocolate Cream Cake, Chocolate Mille-Feuille and the Kyoho Grape Cheesecake that I had chosen for Ninril-sama. Even after choosing all these, there was still a bit of money left.
[8] “Ruka-sama, after the Ice-Cream Cake and Limited Editions cakes, you still have quite a bit of budget left. Would you like to spend it on a selection of the standard cakes and ice-creams?” [5]
“Yes, cakes are delicious no matter how many times I eat it.”
Okay, let’s see. [1] Let’s choose a series of different shortcakes as well as different types of cup ice-creams… oh, they have Ice-Cream Puffs too! [6] I’m sure Ruka-sama will enjoy these decadent Choux buns filled to the brim with ice-cream.
Hokkaido Ice Cream Puff from my.openrice.com
Alright, that’s it for Ruka-sama.
“Yosh, it’s our turn next!”
“Ou! Let’s take our time choosing~” [5]
“Hold it!” the strident voice of Ninril-sama blasted over like a gale. “We’re not going to tolerate standing around here while you two drunks dither over your liquor. Oi, you! Send the offerings to the goddesses first!”
“As Ninril-sama said, it is a little unfair to have us wait while they choose their liquor. Other worlder-kun, please send our offerings first. I must try out today’s shampoos, treatment and body soaps as soon as possible.”
“That’s right! That’s right! I want my beer now! [5]”
“Cake and ice-cream, fast.”
Well, I can’t blame the goddesses for saying this… [5]
“Hephaestus-sama, Vulcan-sama, is it alright if I send my offerings to the goddesses-sama first?”
“Maa, it will be too noisy otherwise,”
“It can’t be helped, just do what you have to do,”
Now that everyone was in agreement, I checked out the items and placed them on cardboard boxes in order of their proper grouping.
“Goddesses-sama, please receive these humble offerings.”
A flash of light, a series of high pitched cheers and a scattering of footsteps scampering away later, I opened my eyes and sighed. What absolute lack of dignity… [5]
Haah… [5]
“Now then, we must take a close look at everything. Yes, War God?”
“Absolutely, we must take our time and choose wisely,”
It’s going to be a long night, I can tell…
[Gumihou: I had fun looking up pictures of the things mentioned here~]
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken
[9] Kyoho Grapes
https://favy-jp.com/topics/1856
s
[10] Baumkuchen – A spit roasted cake originating from Germany. Very, very popular in Japan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baumkuchen
https://www.dailysabah.com/life/food/patience-solidified-baumkuchen-the-german-layered-tree-cake (This one has a recipe!)
[11] The shampoo descriptions… came from Gumi, lol! I mean, Eguchi-sama did came up with the bare bones, xx flowers, hair repair etc, but then Gumi embellished it to entice the goddess.