Chapter 16: Don't Want to Work Overtime (8)
【June 16, 6519, Friday】
I finally graduated! Senior Sister Wang and Senior Brother Zhu asked me to start a business with them, building aerospace Systems, and I think it's very interesting!
Zhengming also supported me, saying he could earn money while I pursued my dreams.
I'm truly happy!
【December 7, 6519, Thursday】
Recently, I've been working overtime until very late.
We don't even have a proper office, nor do we have money, but I don't feel tired at all.
However, when my mother came to see me, she got angry.
She felt that I was just wasting my time, toying with my future.
Did I really make a mistake?
...
【January 28, 6520, Monday】
I just want a little space of my own, a little time of my own, to explore what I truly like.
But whenever this thought comes up, I feel very selfish.
【March 13, 6520, Sunday】
Tomorrow, I'm starting my job at Guosheng Group.
I'm sorry, Senior Sister Wang, Senior Brother Zhu.
Perhaps my mother was right; I can't squander my youth on uncertain things.
【May 7, 6520, Thursday】
I still feel very lost.
Is all this effort really worth it?
To meet others' expectations, I sacrificed my own dreams.
But when I think about giving up, my heart fills with fear.
Perhaps it's because I've just started working.
I'll keep going!
【October 22, 6520, Wednesday】
I've been working overtime recently, and Zhengming got angry, saying we never have time for dates, and that I'm letting him down.
...
【May 10, 6521, Friday】
The pressure at work is getting bigger and bigger, and I feel extremely exhausted.
Sometimes, I even doubt if choosing this path was the right decision.
My mother always hopes I can have a stable job and a decent-looking life.
But is this really what I want?
I'm starting to wonder.
【September 3, 6521, Wednesday】
Today, I secretly took a leave to go to that small coffee shop I've always wanted to visit, and I sat there alone for a long time.
The atmosphere there made me feel very relaxed, as if all the pressure had temporarily left me.
I thought a lot, about dreams, about work, about my mother, about Zhengming.
I know I can't always escape reality, but occasionally giving myself some time to escape is also necessary, right?
...
【July 4, 6522, Sunday】
Why is it so hard to satisfy everyone?
Why does everything always become my fault alone?
Clearly, this day I was the protagonist, but why did everyone blame me?
【August 22, 6522, Saturday】
I tried to talk to my mother today about my feelings, telling her that I also have my own thoughts and pressures.
However, it didn't seem very successful; we argued again.
I know it's hard for her to understand me, but it's also hard for me to understand her.
【December 18, 6522, Wednesday】
Sometimes, I really feel like a floating island, surrounded by unapproachable sea water.
...
【March 7, 6523, Tuesday】
I can't breathe.
【June 15, 6523, Thursday】
It's like I'm living in a dead loop, never able to escape.
No, I know how to escape.
【September 13, 6523, Friday】
We broke up.
It's fine; if we didn't break up, he wouldn't go crazy, but my mom would drive me crazy.
Let it be.
—
At that time, after Wang Juan finished reading the diary, a drop of black liquid fell from the corner of her eye.
She had almost forgotten that back then, Yi Yu, right after graduation, wanted to start a business with those chaotic and unreliable Senior Brothers and Senior Sisters.
They didn't know how many times they argued, and she was even glad that Yi Yu eventually came to her senses.
It turned out that was Yi Yu's dream.
So, what about her own dream?
Wang Juan slowly recalled the things she had deliberately hidden deep in her heart.
She was the second daughter in her family; her eldest sister was pampered, her younger brother was favored, and she was the most inconspicuous one in the family.
So she studied desperately to get good grades, actively did housework, and behaved obediently, just to make her parents notice her.
But none of this was as effective as her eldest sister's coquettish plea or her younger brother's cry.
She was very disheartened.
Fortunately, she was very capable and got into university.
Her parents mentioned her for the first time, boasting about her everywhere.
Leaving home, from a small town to a big city, she then realized how vast the outside world was, and how tiny she was.
She had never played computer games; her classmates even had game pods for playing real-life games.
She had never flown on a plane or traveled abroad; many of her classmates had even been to space.
The university she had to exert all her effort to get into was, for some of her classmates, merely a fallback option due to a slip-up.
After graduation, one could choose between freelance employment or school assignment.
Wang Juan didn't dare to take risks.
Her family's financial situation was not good; her parents had no pension, her sister was a homebody, and her brother was still in middle school.
She had to find a job and earn money early, otherwise she wouldn't be able to stay in the big city; she didn't even have money for rent or food to last a few months while looking for a job and interviewing.
So she chose school assignment, which many people wouldn't choose.
The jobs assigned by the school were all in federal state-owned factories; the treatment wasn't bad, but the job types were traditional and old-fashioned, with limited room for development.
But for Wang Juan, what was development space?
It was not as useful as the actual salary in hand.
Perhaps her dream was to have a stable job.
Later, marriage, childbirth, unemployment...
She gradually lost herself, only thinking of making Yi Yu compensate for her own regrets.
Then... then what happened... she couldn't quite remember.
Yes, later, her husband divorced her, saying she had driven their daughter to her death.
It wasn't surprising he thought that way; the whole world thought so.
Xiaoyu's diary was posted online by a reporter, causing a huge uproar.
Everyone was discussing what kind of mother would be so cruel as to drive her child to a dead end.
She was indeed wrong.
But clearly, it wasn't just her!
Wasn't the child's father wrong?
She didn't care about the child, but did he?
Wasn't that man wrong?
Why could he so easily abandon five years of feelings?
Wasn't the company wrong?
Why did it disappear?
Just because it was a direct federal Group?
Wang Juan felt very wronged and very pained.
Every day, she repeatedly looked through Xiaoyu's phone, trying to find other culprits.
Finally, one day, she confirmed that she was the one who had caused Xiaoyu the most harm.
So she chose the same Path, bringing Xiaoyu's phone with her.
"So, I'm already dead."
As Wang Juan's consciousness became clearer and then more chaotic, the world plunged into complete darkness.
Where Wang Juan had been standing, a towering black mountain of flesh appeared.
Her figure was completely hidden beneath writhing black tentacles.
If anyone approached to look closely, they would see countless tiny, densely packed eyes, making one's scalp tingle, appearing on the tentacles, staring coldly at everything.
She also looked coldly at Liu Sheng, realizing that this was not her daughter.
Her Xiaoyu was already dead, and because of her selfishness, she had created a Xiaoyu in her fantasy.
This was just her fantasy.
Xiaoyu was no longer here.
But Liu Sheng denied her idea.
"Here's the phone, you have a call."
A tentacle from Liu Sheng's body extended, holding up the now black-screened phone to Wang Juan on top of the mountain of flesh.
Wang Juan froze, at a loss.
Taking the phone, a cold but gentle voice sounded.
"Mom!"
It sounded like her daughter's voice.
"Mom, it's me."
The voice came from the phone Wang Juan held tightly.
Wang Juan looked down and saw that the phone was on a call, and the screen showed "Yi Yu" as the caller.
All the black tentacles seemed to freeze at this moment, and the countless small eyes also turned towards the glowing phone screen.
She had no time to think about how this was Yi Yu's phone and how it could show Yi Yu calling herself.
She only knew that this voice, as if Transcending endless darkness and despair, reached directly into her heart.
She slowly brought the phone to her ear, her voice choked, almost a whisper, "Xiaoyu? Is that you? My child..."
The voice on the other end of the phone sounded again, clear and quiet, with a calmness that didn't belong to this world: "Yes, Mom, it's me.
I know you're in a lot of pain, and I know you've been looking for me."
Wang Juan's hands trembled; she could hardly believe her ears, and black tears flowed uncontrollably.
"I... I'm sorry, Xiaoyu.
I... I should have understood you better, supported you...
I was wrong..." Wang Juan's words were filled with regret and pain.
"Mom, it's not just your fault.
You've suffered enough; it's time to let go of all this.
You need to forgive yourself, to set yourself free, and," Xiaoyu's voice, which had been soft, suddenly turned bone-chillingly cold, "set me free."
"I... I didn't..."
"Your obsession trapped yourself, and it trapped me too."
Xiaoyu's voice revealed an indescribable sorrow and distance.
"I've been in this phone all along."
Wang Juan's heart almost stopped beating at that instant.
The phone, this object she had clutched tightly every day since Xiaoyu's death, she had thought it was just the last thing that could make her feel Xiaoyu was still by her side.
She hadn't expected Xiaoyu was indeed still by her side.
Didn't that mean Xiaoyu had been watching her make a fool of herself every day?
Wang Juan felt an unprecedented fear and sorrow surge in her heart.
"Let go of your apologies and guilt; let me go.
I don't want to be by your side anymore, Mom."
Xiaoyu's voice became even softer, as if comforting her, yet it spoke the cruelest words.
Wang Juan took a deep breath; she knew this was the only thing she could do for Xiaoyu.
"Okay... okay, I will.
I'm sorry, Xiaoyu.
I love you, I will always love you."
Wang Juan closed her eyes, recalling Xiaoyu's wrinkled, pink, tender appearance at birth, Xiaoyu's first word, "Mama," Xiaoyu's first steps...
As she grew up, Xiaoyu was full of vigor in her graduation photo, then later, Xiaoyu was exhausted after working overtime, Xiaoyu cried like a weeping person after breaking up, and finally, lay quietly in the coffin...
Wang Juan opened her eyes; it was time to let go.
She could feel something very important being gouged out of her heart.
"Although I should hate you, I'm still very grateful that you gave me Life, and you gave too, too much.
My hatred isn't just for you, so you don't need to say sorry anymore, Mom."
"Mom, you're also very tired.
I hope you can be yourself; you can be happier."
Xiaoyu's voice gradually became distant, until it completely disappeared.
The call ended, and the screen returned to darkness.
Wang Juan tightly held the phone, tears streaming down her face.
But this time, her heart held a new sense of determination and tranquility.
At this moment, all the black tentacles began to retreat, eventually disappearing without a trace.
The giant eye in the sky closed, vanishing into the center of the vortex.
The vortex rapidly contracted and dispersed, and the true night, with its bright moon and stars, reappeared.
The blackness on the ground converged into a stream, seeping into the cracks of the grass, soil, rocks, and sewers.
Liu Sheng watched all this quietly, her figure gradually fading.
She didn't notice Wang Juan silently looking in that direction.
【Revised】
This first story is finally basically over.
It was originally expected to be relatively short, but it turned out to be a bit longer than expected.