Chapter 60 Yesterday’s Phantom (Part ) "Take off your clothes."Su Beixun looked at his bewildered face and said, "Look how dirty you are. Go take a shower!" Bai Chuanren took off his clothes in a hurry, then carefully took off the necklace from his neck and placed it gently on the pile of clothes. Su Beixun was a little curious and bent down to pick it up. The necklace was hanging from a metal shell, and when it was opened, there was a photo of a smiling woman. "Please...please give it back to me." Bai Chuanren was very anxious, but he didn't dare to snatch it away. He could only blush and be humble. "No wonder you're so easily bullied." Su Beixun snapped the photo shut: "Who is she?" "…My mother." Unsurprisingly.
It is understandable that a child who has lost his mother has been living under domestic violence from his father for a long time and is bullied at school, so he would have this kind of personality. ——It’s really the most clichéd story. Su Beixun subconsciously looked at the red, swollen and blue wounds on his body. Bai Chuanren felt very uncomfortable being stared at, and he awkwardly covered his eyes with his hands, as if by blocking it he could pretend it didn't exist. “A person’s past never disappears.” Su Beixun threw the necklace to him. ## 【XNUM X Year X NUM X Month X NUM X Day】 【From that day on, I didn’t want to have any contact with him anymore. 】 [I deliberately avoided the rooftop and any place where he might appear.] [But sometimes, when I see his weak expression when he is bullied, I feel disgusted from the bottom of my heart.] Yes, I hate him. 【…】 【XNUM X Year X NUM X Month X NUM X Day】 [Today is the school's anniversary of something unknown, and the school gave each student a bag of candy. ] [After lunch break, there was an extra bag on my desk - it should have been given by Bai Chuanren.] [Is this a way of repaying a favor? How cheap. ] 【But the orange-flavored candy was unexpectedly sweet. 】 “That’s really awkward.” Yukiko Kudo stroked the dried notes in her diary: "On the one hand, I 'favor' her, and on the other hand, I 'hate' her. On the one hand, I want to get close to her, but on the other hand, I can't help resisting her."
She looked down at Conan: "Did you have this phase as a child?" Conan rolled his eyes: "How is that possible? He's just a special case, okay? Whose child has so many ideas?" "Maybe he doesn't know how to face it." Xiaolan sighed. She was always used to thinking from the other person's perspective: "Student Su Bei must have had a difficult past. He hated himself during that time, but he couldn't help wanting to save him." "Rather than saying he's avoiding Bai Chuanren, it's more like he's running away from his past self." Conan was stunned: "Is he...feeling inferior?" The more inferior you feel, the harder it is to let go of your shameful past. But how could this happen? How could someone like him, who didn't take anything seriously, have such emotions? But the diary later wrote: [I hate him because I have always hated my past self.] [Even now that I have achieved success and fame, it is still difficult for me to be completely happy with myself.] [Because I always wonder, what would happen to me if there was no destiny? ] [It is to soar to the sky after enduring, to prove my own ability to everyone. 】 [It still exposes my cowardly nature, proving that my current pride and self-esteem are just illusions brought about by fate, and none of this is my ability! ] 【I think it is the first one.】 【But we cannot deny the possibility of the second one. 】 [I persuaded myself that it made no difference, everything was me anyway, and since I had arrived at the present, why bother pursuing the past?] [But when I think about the possibility that I am a waste, and compare it with my current glory, the feeling of impatience gnawing at my heart becomes stronger.] 【why? 】 【Why?!】 [Why did I behave so cowardly in the past? 】 [I must be sleeping on straw and eating bitter food! ] [Yes, that's right! It must be like this! It must be like this! ] [I! Will! Never! Be! Trash!] These words are so powerful that they can be seen through the paper. [So I hate Bai Chuanren, because he always reminds me of the past. ] [But I also care about Bai Chuanren because he is very similar to my past. ] “That’s really extreme.”
Kudo Yusaku sighed. He didn't know what the other party had been talking about, fate, but that kind of stubbornness and madness had already shown through the paper. 【XNUM X Year X NUM X Month X NUM X Day】 [It’s been a long time since I last wrote. ] [I sorted out my feelings and stopped thinking about things that could not be proven. ] 【…】 【XNUM X Year X NUM X Month X NUM X Day】 [The short spring break just ended, and the boring school life started again. ] [Because it was the last exam before the holiday, I was commended as the first place and met Seto Tatsuto again. 】 【“You haven’t found a friend yet?”】 【He suddenly said this to me. 】 ## The pink and white cherry blossoms fluttered down, making the ground beautiful and dreamy. Su Beixun looked at the gray-haired old man in front of him and asked, "What are you talking about? Looking for a friend?" Seto Tatsuto looked kind, and he nodded: "Yes, make friends." His expression was very serious, as if he was warning: "Emotions between people are the anchors that anchor ourselves to the world. If we lack them, it is easy to hate the world and move towards self-destruction." Su Beixun didn't say anything. Seto Tatsuto reached out and touched his head. "You know, I've been following you for a long time." Su Beixun didn't care: "You can guess it, because of my appearance." The principal smiled and shook his head: "You are indeed good-looking. You stand out among all the children...but what really makes me remember you at first sight is your eyes." "You mean my pupils are red? What's so strange about that? Aren't there blue and green ones around me?" "No, no, it's not the color, it's the content." Seto Tatsuto explained softly, "I have been engaged in education for decades. The reason I can stick with it and love it so much is because of the innocent eyes of children." "But in your eyes, I can only see emptiness." "Su Beixun, you don't feel like you belong to this world." ## 【XNUM X Year X NUM X Month X NUM X Day】 【Summer vacation is not far away, and everyone is very restless. 】 [Today is Saturday, and the weather is good. I went out to stroll in the shopping street, but unexpectedly saw Bai Chuanren. ] [Is there any bond here? ]
[He was holding a brilliant white chrysanthemum and walking hurriedly past.] ## "Hey, where are you going?" Su Beixun patted his shoulder. The little fat boy shivered and subconsciously held the flower in his arms. He only breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was him. "I'm sorry, I...have something to take care of." ——It’s his style to apologize first when meeting someone. Bai Chuanren wanted to leave, but Su Beixun held his shoulders tightly, scaring him so much that he looked away. "White Chrysanthemum, are you going to honor the dead? Your mother?" The little fat man nodded. "Just you? Where's your dad?" He lowered his head slowly: "My dad... is very busy today, so I have to go alone." "You want to walk?" "It's okay...it's not far." All the cemeteries here are in the suburbs, and with his short legs, it would take him three hours to leave the city. Su Beixun laughed at him for overestimating his own abilities, but didn't pay any attention to him. ## [I watched him squeeze into the crowd little by little, becoming vague as he stumbled.] [The mood for shopping suddenly disappeared. 】 ## “There are so many people here…” "Shut up and follow me!" Su Beixun had a blank expression on his face as he tightly grasped Bai Chuanren's fleshy wrist. He felt a little pain, but didn't dare to resist. I couldn't find a taxi, so I had to find another way. Su Beixun pulled him onto the bus and found a seat for them to sit. "Yushan Cemetery... is that its name?" Bai Chuanren nodded quickly. Su Beixun looked at the map in his hand and planned the route: "Walk for another ten minutes after getting off the bus, and you'll almost be there." "……Thanks." There was a quiet thank you from the side, but Su Beixun ignored it.
After about 30 minutes, the car slowly stopped. Su Beixun took him away and quickly found their destination. "You only have 20 minutes, we need to catch the next bus." Bai Chuanren nodded and gave him an unfamiliar smile. He ran into the cemetery, found a gray tombstone with ease, brushed off the dust on it with his hands, and put the chrysanthemums down. Then he stood there quietly, without saying a word. Su Beixun was surprised: "Huh? That's strange, she didn't cry." The little fat boy's face turned red and he whispered, "...If you stand behind me, I can't cry." "Then just hold it in." Su Beixun stretched his back after sitting for a long time, and seeing that the atmosphere was silent, he asked, "How did she die?" Bai Chuanren's eyes lit up, and he raised his head as if he was in the right place: "My mother sacrificed her life to save others. She is a hero!" "How to say?" “Two years ago, my mother rushed in to save a child trapped in a fire… and never came out again.” His expression darkened again. "Two years ago? You were only four years old then? It's amazing that you remember it so clearly." "How could I forget?" Bai Chuanren waved his hands excitedly: "I still remember my mother told me that my name was her idea!" "She wants me to be a kind and merciful person, and I... I have always listened to her..." He finally couldn't help crying. Su Beixun looked up at the dazzling sun, thinking of how he had silently endured being bullied. Merciful? Love is really like a curse... ## "Oh yeah!" Kudo Yukiko happily pumped her fist, as if she had caught up with the plot she wanted to see: "Does Su Beixun accept Bai Chuanren? He will take the initiative to help him lead the way, so we can be considered friends, right?" Conan had a complicated expression: "He wasn't that destitute when he was in elementary school. If we had known him earlier, would there have been a chance of saving him?" He thought so, but his expression froze the next moment. 【August 1986, 11. 】 [I received another call today, asking me to deal with the scene where he murdered someone.] 【This is the ninth commission this year. 】
[The client was drinking with a friend and accidentally killed someone because of an argument.] [I have been through a lot of things, and I should have gotten used to the strange reasons for killing people in this world, but every time, I still find it absurd and ridiculous.] [Killing between people is so common and normal that I am slowly getting tired of it.] [Does becoming a legend mean I have to keep doing this kind of boring stuff? ] I'm going to start kissing tomorrow. I feel so tired just thinking about it.
(End of this chapter)