"Is something wrong?" Jeremy asked after everyone left us alone. He lifted the rope so I could go under it and be on the same side as him. "Are you fighting with the Atkins?"
I shook my head. "No, I just wanted to talk to you alone."
"How unusual." He looked at me, showing concern. "Not that I don't want to talk to you. It's just-" He frowned.
"We're disconnected." I told him.
He looked down at me, then away, then back at me. "Yea...something like that. I feel like whatever I say, sounds fake. And insincere. I don't want to fake my emotions with you like I do with the fans."
"You fake being happy with the fans?" I was confused. He genuinely looked happy to me.
He shrugged. "Sort of. Their just strangers. I appreciate their support and in a way they're the reason I can make money doing what I love. But, we aren't friends. They don't really know me. They just know my statistics."
His words were similar to Zeke's. Zeke really had good intuition. He could probably be a therapist too.
"I want to get to know you." I told him. "I mean, if you don't mind."
Before I could look away or change my mind, Jeremy smiled down at me. "I would like that. I've been feeling tension between us like we don't know how to approach one another or speak to one another." He lifted his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm not going to lie to you, I feel stressed when we're together or when I think about you. I've messed up and I don't really know how to fix it. We've talked about trying to have a relationship with one another, but what kind? Brothers? Are there brothers who worry this much?"
I shrugged, not sure myself. "We said we would try. And I noticed that, I haven't been. As much as I should. It's superficial." I looked down at my feet, kicking the grass.
"It doesn't help that I'm in season." He sighed. "If we had more time, we could, I don't know, try to hang out?"
I didn't say anything. Not because I didn't agree, but because what could I say to that? Stop playing baseball? That's selfish. And dumb.
"Hey! I know!" His excitement got my attention, making me look up at him. "You're going to be on summer break soon, right?"
I nodded.
"Why don't you and the Atkins come to a few more games this summer? On me, of course. I can provide the tickets. Maybe you can come during the day to hang out before I have to come here for work."
"I'll have to ask." I told him.
"Yea, you do that." He gave a weak smile. "If you don't want to do that, we can try some other arrangements. With school being out, I could visit in the mornings when we have home games. Maybe take you and Noah to those batting cages. You like that, right?"
I nodded. "Yea. I like the batting cages."
"Well. Looks like we have some options." He looked around. "It's about time I get back to my team and you get back to yours." He paused and looked down at me. "By the way, your awards..."
I blushed.
"I'm amazed. You had so many. I'm happy for you. And proud of you." He scratched the stubble on his cheek. "I wasn't like you at all during my freshman year. You're definitely growing into a better player than I was in high school."
"What were you like in high school?" I asked.
He stopped scratching. "I, uhh, I, I was-hmm." He tried for find the words. "I lacked motivation and commitment. I was a bit arrogant." He caught my look of disbelief and misinterpreted it. "Okay, really arrogant. I thought I was the best player out there."
"But you're a great player now. Noah said so."
He chuckled. "It took a lot of work. I wasn't a team player. My attitude was...I was..." He rubbed his nose. "It's probably better to save this conversation for when we have more time."
"Oh. Okay."
He faced his dugout and waved to someone, calling them over. "Hey, Chuck!"
A young man jogged over, wearing a similar outfit as Rose. "Yes?"
Jeremy tapped me on top of my hat, on my head. "This is Jake, my brother. He's with the team that Rose just took to the outfield entrance for the pregame announcements. Can you help him rejoin his friends? I'm not sure if he can get there on his own."
"Sure thing!" Chuck answered promptly.
Jeremy looked down at me, making eye contact. "Text me later, okay? We'll figure something out."
I nodded.
He left me with Chuck, jogging back to his dugout.
"Let's go, Jake. I'll get you back to your team in no time." Chuck guided me to the exit, leading the way. After a couple seconds of silence, he spoke up again. "So you're Jeremy's brother. Must be kind of cool to have a brother who's a pro in the big leagues."
I shrugged.
He took my lack of response as nonchalance. "Maybe because you're young, you don't understand what a big deal it is. A very small percentage of players will ever get this far. Let alone be as successful as Jeremy."
I was thankful when we got to the main concourse, filled with fans. It became too loud for Chuck to hold a conversation with me and he just focused on finding my team. We walked along the concourse from behind home plate to the outfield seating. He took me down a level and led me through an 'employees only' pathway.
With the noise volume back down, he spoke up again. "I heard a rumor that Jeremy and Rose are dating. Can you confirm that for me?"
I shook my head. This is the first time I'm hearing of it.
"Oh. I heard that they were really close." Chuck continued, mistaking my shaking head as a 'no, they aren't dating' kind of answer.
I was too embarrassed to speak up and say that I didn't know. That I couldn't possibly know. Jeremy and I were still trying to find some solid ground to build our brotherhood on. How would I know anything about his dating life?
"Jake! Over here!" Noah waved excitedly as soon as he spotted me. We had a true mutual camaraderie where we understood one another clearly and could talk about anything. There wasn't any guessing or awkwardness between us.
I joined him and the group without saying goodbye to Chuck. I glanced to Rose, who was speaking with the coaches, not sure what I was looking for. It's not like a neon sign would suddenly pop out and state that she was dating Jeremy.
"Jake? You okay?" Noah asked. "How'd it go?"
I shrugged. "Not much could be said. I'll try texting him more often, I guess."
Noah made a face. "That's it?"
I was still staring at Rose as I told him. "He offered to let us come to some more games over the summer. Without school, there are more options to meet up."
"That would be pretty awesome." Dave sighed. "Too bad I won't be around to join in the fun. I'll be too busy traveling around the states, working on my craft."
"As you should." Kyle snorted.
"I don't want to hear that from you." Dave huffed.
Zeke glared at the two, stopping the fight early.
I didn't know much about dating and relationships so I turned to the one guy I knew who does. Or at least, did. "Kyle, how can you tell if someone's in a relationship?"
The twins and Noah all got quiet, freezing in time.