After the appointment, the three of us headed home for dinner. The atmosphere in the car after my appointments always feel heavy like it's weighing down on everyone present.
Noah who was sitting in the front passenger seat, by his dad, turned to his father. "Dad? How's the hunt for Jake's dad going?"
Mr. Atkins peeked at me through the rear view mirror. "They're looking. Mr. Duncan said they have some leads but nothing definite. I'm sure when they have someone in mind, they'll suggest a blood test just to be sure."
I swallowed down the anxiety that was rising. Just think about the batting cages. I took a deep breath and reminded myself.
"What will happen after they find him though?" Noah asked. "I want the details. Like a step by step plan for if it happens."
Mr. Atkins frowned as he focused on the road. "There are plenty of variables in play that can't be accounted for. First step would be finding him. Then confirming his blood relation. Then there's background checks, interviews, scheduled visits. It's a long process. It's not really something you should be worry about to be honest."
"How can you say that, Dad?!" Noah huffed. "Jake is my best friend. The younger brother I always wanted. I don't want to wake up and have him suddenly vanish. Plus I worry that his Dad will be like his mom. And maybe he won't let us see Jake anymore, especially if he lives far away. Jake is from Southern California so there's a good chance that his dad is too. That's a long drive."
His dad chuckled. "Don't worry. It won't be sudden. They'll need to thoroughly check the man and his situation. We don't even know a name right now, so just let it be." He looked back at me, using the mirror. "You too, Jake. No one is just going to take you without asking questions."
"There's a chance that he won't want him, right?" Noah asked in a small voice, as if he didn't want to bring it up. "I mean, he's left Jake before. What if he doesn't want to be his parent?"
Mr. Atkins sighed. "Then he'll have to relinquish his parenting rights. Also a process."
"Would Jake get to stay with us?"
"That depends on his social worker and on the state. We can't force him to stay." Mr. Atkins pulled into the driveway of his home. "No more 'what ifs'. We'll tell Jake as soon as we know anything. That's the best we can do for right now." He turned off the car. "Make sure to grab your bags and backpacks." He left first.
We got out of the car and grabbed everything from the trunk.
"Sorry, Jake. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just really wanted to know what they would do about your dad." Noah apologized as we moved our baseball bags to the family car.
"I didn't mind." I shrugged. "Who knows if they'll actually find him. And even if they did...I doubt he'll want me now. He left me then and he never came back. No calls, no letters, no visits. Almost like he never existed."
"Do you ever think the man from your memories was even really your dad?" Noah asked as we moved towards the house. "You said you were three. That's really young. I don't think I can recall anything about being under the age of six."
I knew he was my dad because my brother was there too. But I didn't want to bring him up. That wasn't exactly irrefutable proof. "My mom would constantly bring him up. And use him as a reason to beat me."
Noah sighed. "No offense Jake, but your family sucks."
"None taken." I agreed. We walked up the stairs to our room and dumped off our backpacks. I contemplated for a minute whether I should tell Noah about my brother, but then I thought of his own. They would bicker, but I doubt they would ever leave Noah behind. My brother should be an adult by now, but he never looked back either. They just left like I didn't exist. Maybe it was all my imagination?
I shook my head to myself. No, that's silly. I know they're real and that they existed. We lived together. My mom cursed them till her voice went hoarse. I watched as she burned every picture, baseball card, and any other personal item of theirs. Maybe she wished that they didn't exist.
"What are you zoning out for?" Noah waved his hand in front of my face. "Let's go eat dinner. We still have to shower, do homework, and make sure our uniforms are all ready to go."
I nodded and we headed back downstairs. Everyone else was already at the table, just waiting on us. We sat down and everyone started to fill their plates.
"Who's pitching tomorrow?" Noah asked Zeke.
But it was the twins who answered in unison. "Garret." A pair of identical groans followed after that.
Dave stabbed at the veggies on his plate. "Totally unfair. I hardly got to pitch at all this weekend."
"Who's fault is that?" Kyle rolled his eyes. "I'm the one with the perfect game, shouldn't I be number one?"
"It's the first home league game, so the real number one will start. We need to start off strong and work our way to a good record." Zeke said.
"League!" Noah said happily. "It's finally starting!"