As it was still winter, the weather was extremely cold in the morning. Early March let the fog from the bay area roll in and settle in the hills. I was completely bundled up, completely covering my uniform with a school sweatshirt and a jacket from Mr. Atkins.
"This will help warm you up." Mrs. Atkins handed me a hot chocolate and I graciously accepted.
We were all at the tournament grounds surrounded by players, coaches, and parents from other schools. Zeke went with Coach to check us in with our roster and school credentials. Mr. Atkins took the twins to some booths that were selling tournament merchandise and souvenirs. Noah went with Mrs. Atkins to get hot chocolate, but only she returned with a drink in hand for me.
I was instructed to sit at the bench and watch everyone's bags until the team showed up. "Where did Noah go?" I asked Mrs. Atkins quietly.
"Ah. He saw someone he knew from a baseball camp from a year or two ago so he went to say hi." She replied.
He just left me? Alone? Or technically...alone with his mom? I swallowed harder than normal and tried to keep my breathing steady.
"Are you nervous? Being alone with me." She read my mind.
I thought about denying it, but it's probably better to tell the truth. "A little. Not you specifically. But alone with a woman that's around my mother's age."
She gave me a light smile. "I'm glad that I don't scare you too much. February has been a tough adjustment period for you so I was scared you would be uncomfortable with just me."
"It hasn't been so bad." I spoke into my hot chocolate, not wanting to make eye contact. "I like playing baseball with Noah. And the others. I didn't get to do that before. I could only really use the batting cages at my old school."
"I'm happy that you found something you like to do. It's a great outlet to let out pent up emotions like stress, fear, and anger. And it's fun! Right?"
Hmmm, did I find baseball itself, fun? I found playing baseball with Noah was fun; Noah could probably make any sport fun though. Would I like baseball still without the Atkins? That used to have an easier answer when I was younger, yet now...I hesitate to answer.
When living with my mom, I thought of baseball as an escape. According to her, my dad and brother were able to leave her because of baseball so maybe I would have the same opportunity. And I guess...I kind of did. If that coach never called my mom, then maybe I'd still be stuck with her and her psychotic episodes. I vaguely remember cursing him for calling when I told him not to, but now I'm glad he did. I never would have met the Atkins without him.
"Ah! Zeke's back." Mrs. Atkins didn't say anything about me zoning out and just stated the obvious to get my attention.
Zeke walked straight to us, making others dodge him and get out of his way. He looked to his mom. "The team met in the parking lot and are already heading to the field to get set even though we won't warmup for a little bit. Coach went on ahead and I came to get you guys. Where's everyone else?"
Mrs. Atkins stood up. "Your dad took the twins to look at the tournament shirts. I think it'd be cool to get you all one and to take a picture. Noah went to say hi to someone he recognized." She took a look around, trying to spot her missing members of her family. "I'll go round them up, so stay here with Jake."
Zeke nodded. Mrs. Atkins started to move through the crowd, leaving us alone together. I felt a deja vú moment pass me by as it became harder to breathe and I struggled to swallow.
"We'll be going all out today, and tomorrow if we can make it there." Zeke said out of the blue, catching me off guard.
I looked up to him as he stood a few feet away. "All out? As in?"
"As in everything. Garret will pitch first for as long as he can. As for the offense, we hit anything that's close."
"Hit anything?" My eyes widened. "Like against Paradise? Doesn't matter where or how?"
"Just get on base...if you can. Paradise isn't much compared to our first opponent today. Paradise was overconfident and didn't have much incentive to win the tournament. Today is completely different." He gestured to the crowd of people. "It's busier than the last tournament right? Do you know why?"
I nodded. "Noah said these schools are bigger and have more of a student body."
Zeke's lips twitched. "For a baseball team, that means that there is more of a chance to have some better players and have a more competitive environment. But what I'm talking about is the people here to watch. There are multiple college coaches here, including a scout or two from some MLB teams. This is when stars try to make something out of their high school career."
"So you want to do well to attract their attention?" I asked.
Zeke let out a small smile. "I do. But not individually. I want the team to attract attention by pulling off an upset. Or two." He reached out and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Hit anything you can. We'll need all the help we can get. As long as you get on base, and i can bring you home; we'll have a chance at winning."
I smiled as wide as possible. Hit freely. Just like I would if I was at The Cages. Instead of feeling nervous like the team was all week; I was feeling anxious, but eager. I couldn't wait to test out my swing against these new pitchers, who will surely have different styles.