In a terrible place like Hell's Kitchen, theft cases are countless, but Schiller had never heard of a Hell's Kitchen thief who specifically targeted cakes. Not just cakes, but also coffee powder, soda crackers, and jam that Schiller had ground.
Is this thief a hungry ghost reincarnated? Stealing four pounds of cake a day isn't enough; he also needs half a pound of soda crackers, two cans of coffee powder, and three bottles of jam.
He's not afraid of stuffing himself to death, Schiller thought.
Of course, although what was lost wasn't anything important, Schiller still had to catch this thief and figure out how he managed to steal the items.
Schiller set a trap, using the thief's favorite cake and a little Fear Toxin, placing it in the warehouse he least frequented in the building, waiting for the thief to take the bait.
While waiting for the bait to take effect, Schiller was writing in a notebook, crafting the story he would use to fool Ancient One.
Instilling the concept of the king in yellow into Ancient One was not a random act by Schiller. In the Marvel Universe's worldview, Cosmic Gods are countless, such as the Trinity Vishanti, whose power Ancient One uses.
The origins of Cthulhu in Marvel are somewhat scattered; some say it's the embodiment of nothingness, others say it's the blood and tears of the Universe. They are not a unified race, and their appearances are mostly bizarre.
The true cthulhu mythos is more systematic, everything starting from the primal chaos Azathoth. But Schiller mentioned a different system to Ancient One, which is a cursed play fictionalized by Chambers in his short stories—the king in yellow.
The setting in this play is more ethereal and romantic than the cthulhu mythos. In the distant Hyades star cluster, on Lake Hali in the ancient City of Carcosa, an ancient Outer God, the king in yellow, is imprisoned. He witnessed the fall of two black suns. Later, he was designated as the representative of "Wind" among the Old Ones and became a mortal enemy of Cthulhu.
And what is most widely known is the unique mark of the king in yellow's setting—the Yellow Sign.
But actually, none of this is important. What's important is that Schiller needs a legitimate identity to converse with Ancient One.
He can talk to Stark as a psychologist, or act as Little Spider's life mentor, or it doesn't matter if Nightcrawler treats him as a criminal.
But Ancient One is different. If Schiller doesn't have a sufficiently mysterious and powerful identity, this powerful Sorcerer Supreme will not listen to him.
Since Schiller had read the comics, he knew that in the Marvel Universe's worldview, the Old Ones also exist. Now he has reminded Ancient One, and if Ancient One investigates, she will find that everything Schiller, in his role as Hastur, said is true: a group of blind and foolish Old Ones were once imprisoned in an extra dimension, but no one knows if they will return to Earth.
As long as Ancient One believes in Schiller's identity as the king in yellow by even three parts, Schiller can obtain a lot of information he wants from Ancient One.
While waiting for the thief-catching trap to take effect, Schiller intermittently completed the Hyades star cluster setting. After all, to fool the Sorcerer Supreme, his identity background must at least be self-consistent.
And the thief didn't make Schiller wait too long.
On a dark and windy night, Hell's Kitchen was uncharacteristically quiet, without gunshots. Schiller was lying in bed, half-asleep, when he heard a loud noise from the warehouse downstairs.
He immediately sobered up, knowing that the trap he had set had worked. He really hadn't expected that he could actually catch this thief with just a piece of cake.
He tiptoed downstairs, not turning on the light, because if the other party had a gun and found him coming down, they would definitely aim in advance. For his own safety, when Schiller reached the other side of the corridor, he planned to use a flash spell to teleport directly, which could catch the opponent off guard.
Just as he was about to flash, he suddenly found the warehouse door open. Could it be that the thief wasn't controlled by the Fear Toxin? And could even open the door and walk out by himself? This was a bit bad.
Schiller gave up on the idea of flashing, because once he teleported, not only would the thief need a moment to react, but Schiller himself would also have about two seconds to adjust to the unfamiliar environment; it was always like this every time he teleported.
He found that the thief didn't seem to have noticed him. He tiptoed along the wall, walking down the corridor, and then he saw an extremely short, roughly calf-high, round figure emerge from the crack in the door, complaining as it walked: "Damn it! Am I drunk? Why does this cake smell like a biogas pit?"
Schiller looked at the figure, hesitated, then turned around, his hand reaching for the light switch, and with a "click," he turned on the light.
The round creature opposite let out a shriek and instantly dropped to all fours, trying to run. Schiller extended his right hand, using a telekinesis spell, and the creature was directly grabbed into his hand.
Schiller's face was grim as he felt the furry touch in his hand. What he was holding was clearly a yellow, round, fat creature with two long ears and a lightning-shaped tail—a Pikachu.
"Shit! Put me down! Don't touch me with your dirty hands! What's wrong with you?! How did you catch me?! Let go of me!!!"
Now Schiller's face was a capital letter of grimness. He had never dreamed that in such a serious, even slightly dark story, a yellow electric mouse would appear?
Suddenly, he felt that Pikachu's screaming voice sounded vaguely familiar. Wasn't this Deadpool's voice actor?
Schiller recalled with some horror that there was indeed a Hollywood movie about Pikachu, which was "Detective Pikachu." The Pikachu in this movie indeed shared the same voice actor as Deadpool.
Schiller took a deep breath, turned Pikachu over, and then, holding its two short little hands, said, "So you're the one who stole my cake, soda crackers, coffee powder, and jam?"
Pikachu's eyes darted around. Its explosively cute face actually showed a very human-like expression of disdain, and it said in Deadpool's voice, "Hey, buddy, I really don't know why your taste is so bad. The soda crackers you bought were butter-free, absolutely disgusting, and that jam, why would you like strawberry jam? That really doesn't suit my taste. Also, next time you cut the cake, can you not leave the cake knife on top of the cake? Do you know that's actually very dirty?"
Schiller held Pikachu in one hand and covered his eyes with the other. This was truly a huge mental pollution for him. Faced with Pikachu's complaints, he was indeed powerless to refute, because his taste was indeed not quite like that of a true American.
"Listen, you little thief, first, you repeatedly stole my food. Second, you don't show any guilt. It seems you're a repeat offender..."
"That's enough," Pikachu waved its hand. It said, "Clearly, you're not a normal person either. No ordinary person, after seeing a mouse that can talk, would calmly converse with him."
Schiller pursed his lips, staring at Pikachu, who stared back. The main thing was that Pikachu's appearance had brought a huge impact on his worldview.
You see, he had just been discussing life ideals with Batman in the incredibly dark Gotham, and in a blink of an eye, this yellow mouse with a hint of Deadpool's flavor appeared before him. How could Schiller's brain not short-circuit?
Next, would he have to go explore the surrounding bushes? After collecting all the Pokémon partners, would he challenge various gyms?
This art style is completely wrong, okay?!!!
More importantly, although this yellow electric mouse was only as tall as a human's calf, it had Deadpool's mouth!
The most fatal part of Deadpool's entire body!
It didn't learn any of the good parts!
It belonged to the 'discarding the essence, taking the dregs' category!
This made Schiller recall reading comics in his previous life, where Deadpool's speech bubbles would often take up more than half of the comic page. Now, Deadpool-version Pikachu, Deadpool, and Little Spider were all together...
Schiller felt that if he lived in a comic, he would probably be blocked to the point where his face couldn't even be seen.
And he remembered that in the Hollywood version of "Detective Pikachu," Pikachu's setting actually used the setting from the Japanese game of the same name. Here, Pikachu is not just a cute creature that only says "Pika Pika," but a Detective with an old man's voice. Judging from Pikachu's reaction just now, he is indeed quite intelligent, definitely not just a simple pet.
After a while, Schiller and Pikachu sat face to face on the sofa. Pikachu held a cup of coffee with its short little hands and said, "In fact, I don't have any memory. I only remember that after a flash of light, I fell into a garbage truck. It took a lot of effort to climb out. I was extremely hungry and walked for a long time, but all the streets were closed, and there wasn't a single place I could enter. Only here, your warehouse's back door seemed not to be closed tightly. After I came in, I followed the corridor and found the refrigerator... Of course, regarding the theft, it was indeed my fault, but I was really too hungry. If possible, once I earn money, I will pay you for the cake."
Schiller applauded him and then said, "I have to say, for a mouse, your level of awareness is truly terrifyingly high. If all the mice in the World could be as polite as you, then humans wouldn't need to invent so many rat poisons."
"So you put rat poison next to the cake today? That was too stinky, seriously, that smell almost took half my life."
"Actually, that wasn't rat poison. It's actually a bit more terrifying than rat poison... Never mind, you're just a mouse anyway."
Schiller put down his coffee cup and stared at Pikachu curiously, saying:
"So, can you do that?"
"What? What can I do?" Pikachu looked at him confused.
Schiller looked at the extremely human-like expression on that cute yellow face, feeling a mix of emotions. He said, "It's that..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Alright, Pikachu, listen, you said you want to earn money to compensate for the food you stole, but I don't think anyone else besides me would accept a yellow mouse that can talk to work. So if you want to compensate me for my losses, you can only stay and work for me, and if you want to get a job opportunity, you have to show your boss what talents you have, right?"
"Oh, I understand, you mean generating electricity, right? This is my specialty. With me, you can save at least half of your electricity bill in a month. But I was too hungry before and haven't recovered yet, so I probably can't unleash 100,000 volts, but charging your phone is no problem..."
As he spoke, it dropped to all fours and zipped onto the table. It jumped onto the table, took out Schiller's phone which was charging, then hugged the phone and ran back to the sofa to show Schiller.
Pikachu extended its lightning-shaped tail, and its whole body flashed with electricity. Schiller's phone screen lit up, showing that it was charging, though the speed wasn't fast.
Pikachu seemed to want to show off its ability. It hugged the phone tightly, vigorously shook its tail again, then strained and extended it, its whole body humming with electricity. The phone's charging speed became incredibly fast, almost charging 10% in one second. Just a second before Schiller could stop it, the phone made a loud "Bang!!" sound.
Pikachu's yellow fur was singed black, and it exhaled a puff of black smoke from its mouth. Then it helplessly looked down at the exploded phone in its arms and said, "It seems you can only allow me to work here, otherwise I probably won't be able to afford the compensation in this lifetime."
Schiller covered his forehead and said, "Your performance was truly spectacular, it completely astonished me. I really can't believe there's such a convenient charging outlet in this World."
Pikachu heard the sarcasm in his tone and was about to speak when Schiller said, "Alright, but that's not what I want to see."
"Then what do you want to see? What other talents do I have? I don't even know myself..."
"Of course you know, it's that..."
Schiller stared intently at Pikachu, who suddenly showed a complex expression, as if it had eaten something foul.
Reluctantly, under Schiller's gaze, it turned around, then jumped onto the back of the sofa, and let out a loud—
"PIKA—PIKA!!!!"
Schiller was satisfied.
