317 A Change Of Mind
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Ninhursag seemed to not agree with things and was with Nepheline’s side in terms of her opinion and her stand in the situation. Although she pitied the little Mist and would had healed her as well, she didn’t thought that it was okay to get involved too much with these people.
Despite her having pitied the blue demon she killed; she still felt a lot of resentment against demons. Although not all demons had caused suffering to her, nor had taken away her family, she attributed a lot of the evil they committed against her and her family to all demons in general. It was something rather common within people’s mentality to attribute the mistakes of some people belonging to an ethnicity to all the ethnicity itself.
But more than hate, she was afraid. She thought that demons, deep down, couldn’t be all like humans. She had seen them before after all, they were animalistic and monster-like, there was no way they would simply be like normal people… Or well, that’s what she thought. But perhaps, this fear was also fueled by her own insecurities as a person…
“Nepheline, how can you change your mind so quickly?” Asked Ninhursag.
“I didn’t, but… I gotta help my husband if he really wants to do it. I argued and… I really don’t want to do this but Shade seems too invested now.” Said Nepheline. “Sorry, Ninhursag, but let’s do it together, maybe… perhaps we need to know the demons better as well.”
Arafunn nodded as he looked at Ninhursag with a confident smile.
“T-This is not right at all! Why are you… I…” Muttered Ninhursag, as her insecurities and the traumas of her past began to resurface after almost having surpassed them. One never truly forgets such things, we simply learn how to live with them. Ninhursag still needed more time to process things, even when it has been years.
“What’s troubling you, Ninhursag?” Asked Arafunn. freewёbnoνel.com
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“I just… Even after everything, I still don’t like demons.” Sighed Ninhursag. “Maybe I didn’t killed innocents like you did, or too many to count like you… But I suffered their tyranny and savagery… I cannot simply forget them and go around happy-go-lucky with them.” Ninhursag said what she had in mind.
“I can understand how you feel, honestly, I once thought the same as you.” Said Allan. “In the middle of the war, as they took down our companions… Our beloved friends which accompanied us through all our hardships… as they all died… In those times, my rage accumulated and accumulated, I was engulfed in fury and resentment. I wanted to make them pay. But because I ended letting my rage and resentment control my emotions… I… I committed horrendous things that I still regret now.”
“Once that rage is appeased and you see what you’ve done… It is already too late to go back, Ninhursag.” Said Faylen. “I, too, felt the same as you… I… I don’t remember how many thousands I’ve killed with my magic… I regret it even now, such memories… I… I was another person back then, the resentment and the urge to avenge my fallen comrades… it made me do horribly things.”
“Me too…” Sighed Shade. “Resentment and rage can turn a person into a mindless monster. When we finally appease our rage, we realized we did it against those that never deserved it, those that never caused any harm to us… But when we realize it, it is too late. We can’t turn back time, we are stuck here… dealing with this horrible future we created with our own hands. There is no real winner, there is no real peace, there is nothing… nothing at all other than bitterness.”
“…”
Ninhursag heard the words of the heroes, as she saw herself through them for a moment. They all went through her same emotions, the rage against the demons, their fury that blinded their judgement… and how, even after avenging their comrades… they felt empty inside. She quickly recalled the time she killed the Blue Demon. What did she felt but emptiness? There was no satisfaction in what she did, it felt cold, nasty, and bloody. There was nothing, nothing but bitterness.
Ninhursag gritted her teeth as she felt weak, sitting down and sighing, looking into the floor, at her own hands… for a moment, she saw the blood she once had from the Blue Demon. Their fight was… intense, but at the end, wasn’t he defeated rather… quickly? She was stronger than him. How could he be a menace then? Wasn’t humans as well, just as powerful as demons in their own ways? Why would demons, capable of developing magic and physical strength, be feared for the same things that humans and other races can also develop?
It didn’t made sense. She was simply making excuses to discriminate, because she was afraid. She quickly realized her fears. Ninhursag wasn’t a stupid woman, she was simply too fearful, afraid, shy, and always had her heart closed…
The hand of Nepheline petted her shoulders as she felt the warmth of her friend. A small kiss reached her cheeks afterwards, alongside a tighter, and more wholesome hug that kept her within Nepheline’s arms. The warmth of the Amazon woman was so encompassing and comforting that made Ninhursag slowly melt away.
“You’re like my sister, Ninhursag. I understand how you feel. I didn’t wanted to get involved for my daughter, but not really… because I think like you. Your fears and insecurities… are partially my fault as well. I am your sister, I should be there more for you.” Said Nepheline.
“N-Nepheline…” Cried Ninhursag, as she began to cry, tears flowing from her eyes. Ninhursag rested her face over Nepheline’s chest, as she hugged her sister back.
“You will never be alone anymore, sister.” Said Nepheline, as she caressed Ninhursag’s head.
“This is the first time in years that you call me like this again…” Said Ninhursag.
“Sorry for being so distant… I’ll make up for it!” Said Nepheline while smiling.
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