Pure Love Goblin does not want to fall into the hands of the elves Author: Tang Yi is not happy Summary: Isidor, who has awakened his past life memories, starts with an evil goblin training system. "The system wants me to be a devil? I want to go the pure love route!" "Fuck, how come this elf is even more h than the goblin?" "Why is the Paladin race of our team vampire?" "Why is our team's archer such a severe yandere?" "Why can a succubus be a nun?" There are endless complaints and endless pitfalls!
A hilarious, alternate world, a super-big brain hole, a pure love contrast, and a great work with too many elements! Chapter 1: Hmm, something is wrong, isn't it? How come the elves are capturing the goblins? In the deep forest, Isidor opened his eyes blankly, feeling that his memory seemed a little confused. He was a goblin, a slave in a circus, and he escaped here during the performance yesterday. But for some reason, after waking up from a sleep, some different contents appeared in his memory. [The evil goblin has awakened. He has awakened the memory of his past life and has taken the first step towards his goal of becoming the King of Beasts! ] Just when Isidor was at a loss, a synthetic voice similar to that of an AI singer sounded in his ears. "What's going on? The voice just now seemed to be that of an AI singer? Wait, why do I know all this knowledge?" Isidor rubbed his aching head, and the memories of his past life gradually flooded into his mind. He finally recalled: In his previous life, he was an ordinary office worker. When he went out to buy toilet paper, he was hit by an out-of-control dump truck. Then he was reincarnated into this world and lived as a goblin until now. It was not until he awakened his memories of his previous life that he finally understood the whole story. "Damn, could it be that the dump truck and toilet paper triggered the elements of reincarnation into another world? Thank you so much." Isidor couldn't help but complain. [Ding, congratulations on activating the Evil Goblin Cultivation System. Please work hard to become stronger and become the most evil Goblin King. ] At this moment, an illusory panel popped up in front of Isidor, with his information and attributes written in small characters below. Isidor looked carefully and saw two lines of large characters at the top: [Name: Isidor] [Race: Goblin] "Ah, then? Others who are reincarnated are at least human beings. Why did I travel through time and space and become a goblin? Aren't goblins the lowest-level soldiers, the kind of useless race that can only be the protagonists in indescribable works?" Isidor complained angrily. However, he thought about it again. In fact, there are also people who travel through time and space and become spider monsters or even slimes. As long as the cheat code is strong enough, can't they still reach the pinnacle of life? Maybe this so-called "Evil Goblin Cultivation System" is also a very powerful cheat code! So, he perked up and looked at the attribute column below: [Occupation: None] 【Life: 80/80】 [Magic power: 50/50]
[Endurance: 200/200] [Spirit: 50/50] 【Strength: 60】 [Agility: 100] [Ghostly value: 0] [Special Skills: None] [Racial skills: None] [Professional Skills: None] [Attribute value description: Based on ordinary adult humans, the initial value of each value is 100 points] "These are totally trash numbers! And it's Sun Ben, a completely non-existent panel with no skills at all! And what the hell are these ghost values? Are these numbers really necessary? What kind of rubbish system is this? It's better to be given a dog at the beginning, right?" Isidor was complaining crazily in his heart, but he also knew that complaining was useless. "Anyway, let's explore the surroundings first. Maybe we can find our fellow tribesmen." Isidor made up his mind and walked upstream along the stream. [The evil goblin has begun to explore the world, looking for his first prey. 】 Just then, a reminder sound rang in Isidor's ears. “???” Isidor was stunned for a moment, thinking that your system is useless, and it is worth ten people just to add drama to yourself. [But unfortunately, it seems that he is the prey.] The prompt sounded again. Isidor was about to complain when he suddenly felt a gust of cold wind at his back. Looking back, he saw a giant scaly bear standing behind him with its mouth wide open, ready to pounce. "Fuck! What is this thing?" Isidor was shocked and ran forward for his life. The giant bear followed closely, and although it was not very fast, it kept chasing him. After running for an unknown amount of time, Isidor finally got rid of the giant bear's pursuit. Isidor, lying on the ground exhausted, glanced at the panel and saw that his stamina, which was originally 200 points, was only in the single digits, and even his health was almost half gone. But this was better than death. It seemed that the system's narration just now was to warn him of the dangers around him. Thinking about it this way, it was somewhat useful. "Well, let me take it back. You are at least twice as powerful as a dog." Isidor struggled to get up, picked up a branch as a crutch, supported his body and continued to move forward. The escape just now consumed a lot of his physical strength. At this moment, he was already seeing stars and his stomach was empty. If he didn't eat something, he might not survive tonight. After walking for a while, Isidor suddenly smelled a fragrance. He was refreshed and looked up: in front of him was a field of fruit trees with big, red fruits that looked delicious. "Teacher Kirisu, we don't have to go hungry today!" Isido cheered, threw away his crutches and ran to the tree. Although he no longer had the strength to climb the tree, there were fallen fruits on the ground. He picked up a fruit and looked at it in his hand. Isidor initially thought these fruits were apples, but when he held them in his hands, he discovered that their skins were soft, and after peeling them, they were similar to tomatoes. It was obvious that these were not any of the fruits he remembered from his previous life, and they were probably specialties from another world. Faced with something beyond his knowledge, Isidor hesitated. He didn't know whether this thing was poisonous or not. But at this moment, his growling stomach protested again, and he couldn't think any more. "Forget it, let's take a gamble. It's better than starving to death or being eaten by monsters. After all, I have traveled through time, so I should have some aura of the protagonist, right?" Isidor looked at his endurance value which had reached the bottom, made up his mind, and ate the fruit in big mouthfuls. Ten minutes later, a goblin was lying on his back under a fruit tree, foaming at the mouth and with a purple face, holding a half-eaten fruit in his hand. Obviously, he lost the bet.
At this moment of death, Isidor seemed to see a beautiful female face, looking at him with a cold and arrogant expression. It was an almost flawless face, with delicate features and fair skin, like a goddess of perfection. This was probably an illusion, because there couldn't be such a beautiful person in the world. Even if there was, there would be no intersection between him and her. Then, the owner of that face reached out his hand and slapped him hard twice. Isidor, who was already unconscious, immediately screamed in pain. The two slaps were so hard that he immediately realized that this was definitely not an illusion, and there really was a very beautiful woman in front of him. The woman lifted his eyelids and looked at him, then took out a long and thin bottle from her chest and poured the liquid inside into Isidor's mouth. After a while, the numbness in Isidor's body disappeared. Isidor sat up against the fruit tree and looked at the woman who had saved him: she had fair skin, long pointed ears, and a full and upright chest. There was no doubt that she was a species that only appeared in fantasy stories - an elf. [Ghostly value increased to 10, obtain racial skills: stick mastery LV1] Just as Isidor was indulging in the elf's graceful body, the system suddenly sounded a prompt. "Damn, so this is how the Ghostly Stats are increased! Although I got a skill thanks to this, I still can't be happy about it." Isidor complained secretly. "Oh! It's really alive. Goblins have really strong vitality." The elf in front of him exclaimed. "I survived, but you almost beat me to death." Isidor said, covering his swollen cheeks - those two slaps were so painful that his cheeks are still burning. "Oh? You can speak human language?" the elf said in surprise. "Well, I guess so." Isidor replied. "Great! I need a smart goblin like you. Come with me, I have something for you to do." The elf waved. Although the other party seemed to have saved his life, Isidor was still a little hesitant. Because the way the elf looked at him was as if he had discovered a medical scientist who had discovered a rare medical record, and seemed to be eager to dissect him into small pieces and soak them in formalin. Seeing that he was hesitant, the elf took the initiative to move closer and whispered in his ear: "Actually, I'm a scholar who is researching the reproductive ability of goblins. If you cooperate with my research, I can provide you with food and accommodation, and maybe I can do something that you might be interested in." The close physical contact, coupled with the elf's ambiguous tone, instantly increased Isidor's ghost value by 10 points, and his stick mastery was upgraded to level 2 on the spot. However, before he could think about it, the elf's hands left his body and tied a knot on his chest. "Huh?" Isidor was stunned for a moment, then he realized that while he was distracted, he had been tied up with ropes by the elf, and the tying method was extremely professional, just like he walked out of some indescribable film set. "You can use any martial arts to do this. We have successfully captured a goblin!" The elf made a heart shape with one hand, then put Isidor into a sack and dragged him into a nearby wooden house. "What the hell is this! Elves kidnapping goblins or something. It's completely the wrong way around!" Isidor was completely unable to move in the bag and could only complain silently. Hypnosis is given at the beginning of the second chapter? Is this system intentional or accidental? The elf returned to the house, threw the bag containing Isidor into the corner, and started making lunch by himself. She took out the venison steaks that had been frozen by magic, thawed them, and threw them into the pan to fry. Isidor had not had a drop of water since he came here, and the aroma of the venison penetrated through the bag and went straight into his nostrils, making his mouth water. "Hey, elf, isn't it about time you let me out?" Isidor shouted. "How rude! I have a name, please call me Esina. Forget about my full name, your brain can't remember so many words anyway." The elf tore off the bag but did not untie the rope on Isidor. "Okay, Esina, the food you fried smells good, can you give me some?" Isidor said eagerly while looking at the deer chops behind Esina. "If you want to eat it, you must first agree to cooperate with my research." Esina squatted down with a smile, lifted Isidor's chin and said.
“The research is about…” "There are many aspects, but I promise that I won't let you get hurt. After all, such smart goblins are rare, and it's hard to replace them if they're damaged." said Esna. “I always feel like I am at the mercy of others…” "You don't have to agree, but I want to remind you: it's difficult for a goblin to survive alone if he leaves his tribe. There are many powerful monsters around here. For example, scaly bears, dire wolves, bone anacondas..." Esina compared her slender arms to a giant python, which kept moving on Isidor's body. "Then... I'd better stay here." Thinking of the giant bear that almost chased him to the point of vomiting blood, Isidor felt that the elf in front of him was safer. "Then please sign this magic contract. Don't worry, there are no excessive clauses in it. It will only allow me to grasp your location within a certain range. It is also a means to ensure your safety." Esna said as she untied Isidor's restraints and took out a roll of parchment and placed it in front of him. Isidor glanced at the contents of the contract. It was roughly the same as what Esna said, but the grammatical deconstruction was a bit messed up, which made him feel uncomfortable. "Can you write?" Esna asked, picking up a quill. “I can write, but I can’t spell my name,” Isidor said. "How do you pronounce your name?" asked Esna. "Isidor." "Isidor?" "What? Is my name weird?" "No, no, I just remembered that there was a record of an ancient prophet in the ancient books of the elves, and his name was also Isidor." Esna said. "Oh, that's really a coincidence." Isidor said casually, his eyes constantly glancing at the deer chops that exuded a rich meaty aroma. "Then, just use the prophet's name to spell it. I'll teach you." Esna said, and wrote the spelling of "Isidor" on Isidor's back with her fingers. "Well, come and eat, Mr. Isidor," said Esna, putting the venison steak on a plate and handing it to him. Isidor was so hungry that his eyes sparkled. When the deer steak was brought to him, he immediately picked it up with a fork and ate it all up. Only then did he realize that Esna had not eaten yet. "Oh, sorry, I've finished eating." Isidor said awkwardly. "It's okay. I've already eaten." Esna cleared the dishes, took out a map and spread it on the table. She pointed to a location and said, "There is a goblin's nest here. There is evidence that there is a very important tool for my research hidden here. I want you to sneak in and help me get that thing." Isidor said with difficulty: "You may not believe this: Although I am a goblin, I do not speak the goblin language. In other words, I cannot communicate with these goblins." Aisina was stunned for a moment: "You are not kidding, are you? You can speak human language and understand the elves' writing, but you can't speak Goblin?" "I'm not kidding. I was captured by human adventurers shortly after I was born. Because I looked more like a human, I was sold to a circus disguised as a dwarf. I only escaped yesterday." Isidor replied. "I never thought that I would have to teach the goblins to speak Goblin. How ironic. But fortunately, you are very smart. It is not difficult for you to learn from scratch." Esna slapped her forehead and was depressed for a short time, but she quickly cheered up. She took out a book as thick as a brick from the cabinet and handed it to Isidor: "This book was written by me. It records the customs and language of the goblins. It is the result of my research over the years. From now on, I will teach you the contents of the book until you can communicate with the goblins normally." Isidor flipped open the thick book and saw a lot of densely written content inside. It contained in-depth research on the subspecies, habits, mating methods, language and culture, and even XP of goblins. The level of detail and rigor was even better than some of the papers he had read in his previous life. "I want to know why you are so interested in goblins? Elves are such a noble race, but people have the impression that goblins are dirty and weak." Isidor asked curiously. Speaking of this, Esna suddenly sighed and put on a sad face: "In our culture, reproduction is considered a sacred act, and the pleasure generated in the process is considered a sin. Even if we put this aside, the probability of female elves getting pregnant is much lower than that of other species, so the reproductive capacity of elves is terribly low. If this continues, they will become completely extinct sooner or later."
"You don't want to... borrow sperm?" Isidor said in surprise. "What are you thinking? How could I allow a goblin to touch my body?" Esna glared at Isidor. Isidor lowered his head in embarrassment, thinking that it must be the influence of that evil system that caused his thoughts to become more and more evil. Aisna ignored his embarrassment and continued, "According to my research results: Goblins and elves have many similarities, but their reproductive abilities are very different. If I can figure out the secret, maybe I can change the decline of the elves. But the stubborn old man in the tribe forbade me to conduct this research, so I had to wander around and live in seclusion." Isidor nodded and said, "You are truly great. I don't have such lofty ideals."