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Mortal Immortal Gourd

Mortal Immortal Gourd

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Chapter 74: Spewing shit

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Chapter 74: Spewing shit

Ergouzi came out of the dark and followed Sima Yi to Hongyan Tower. It was really lively here today, and the whole restaurant was decorated with lights. The entire street outside the hotel was already crowded with beggars who had reserved their seats in advance. On the happy day, a porridge shed was built on the dilapidated wasteland outside Hongyan Tower. Various scraps from the store are mixed with swill and boiled to make a big pot of porridge. The beggars occasionally get excited when they occasionally eat a shredded pork in the porridge. At the entrance of Hongyan Tower, two young men in Tsing Yi guarded the entrance. When he saw the noble man with high status, he greeted him with a smile, bent down and led him in. If you have no identity or status, you need to check the invitation and the gifts given. Being able to attend the county grandpa's birthday banquet is an incredible honor, and not everyone is eligible. As for people like Er Gouzi, whose skin was tanned and whose clothes were rough, they were immediately kicked away. Letting such a person stand at the door for a while is an insult to all the dignitaries of Hongyan Tower.

However, today, they could only watch Ergouzi walking in front of them, not daring to stop him and having to nod and bow. On the first floor of Hongyan Tower, every corner was crowded with guests. They were whispering to each other and looking at everyone who came in, looking for someone to please. Seeing Sima Yi walking in, many people's eyes lit up and they wanted to curry favor, but they quickly gave up on this plan. Sima Yi didn't like dealing with people like them the most. At this time, fawning over them would be asking for trouble. I'm just a little curious about the farmer following Sima Yi. Why do they have such a good relationship? Of course, many people can still recognize Ergouzi due to his extraordinary performance in the Wu Xiucai Examination. The two passed through the lobby on the first floor and went directly to the second floor via the stairs. The people on this floor have a certain status, and it is not so crowded and noisy. But the eyes they looked at Sima Yi were even more intense. Because they all know that no matter what in this life, they will never be able to climb up, and they will not be able to walk up the stairs as calmly as Sima Yi. Those who can build buildings are all children of big and well-established families in the county, and they are all second generation. Neither Sima Yi nor Gouzi liked the excitement, so they found a corner to sit down. Today we are eating on a flowing table, and the dishes will be delivered one after another in turn. These dishes are beautifully presented on the plate and made in various ways, making you even want to stop eating. However, Er Gouzi just came here to have a big meal and make some money back for himself. Whichever dish looks more expensive is what he likes to eat. On a jade plate, there is a fairy carved by someone unknown. Ergouzi was not soft at all. He took the fairy's head off with one chopstick. Because this dish looks like the white fairy is the most expensive.

Pick up the fairy's head and throw it into your mouth, click, click, click! Many second-generation people around him looked at him with disdain when they saw this scene. Everyone unanimously moved their bodies as far away as possible, as far away from Ergouzi as possible. They still couldn't figure out why Sima Yi brought such a country bumpkin here? Only Sima Yi remained calm-faced as he tore off the fairy's arm, threw it into his mouth and chewed it until it was crunchy. "How does it taste?" "It tastes like white radish." Ergouzi answered truthfully, feeling that this dish was pretty but tasted average. "Well, it's carved from white radish." Sima Yi chewed the dishes and showed them to Er Gouzi. "Usually the beautiful-looking things on this plate are not meant for eating." Only then did Er Gouzi realize that he had eaten in the wrong place, and felt his face burning up. Fortunately, he was so tan that no one could tell he was blushing. "Look at this small dish, it's the tip of a tongue. You can only take a grass sparrow that has just learned to fly, cut off the tip of its tongue and fry it. This small dish requires killing thousands of finches before it can be made. " “Look at this dish, it looks like just a very ordinary cabbage leaf. In fact, it takes several chickens and several hours to simmer the flavor of the chicken into the cabbage 껣꿗. So this dish looks like cabbage. If you close your eyes and taste it carefully, it tastes like chicken. " Sima Yi probably saw what Er Gouzi was thinking, so he introduced him to some very expensive and high-cost dishes. "Where's the chicken after cooking this dish?" Ergouzi was still more concerned about the chicken used in cooking. "The umami flavor in the chicken has been boiled out, so it's useless. It's probably the scraps that were thrown away." Sima Yi didn't know what was going on in the kitchen. "If you look at this dish again, you tie a live donkey to a tree, pour hot oil on the donkey's buttocks, scald the meat until cooked, then slice the cooked meat from the live donkey's buttocks and pour condiments on it." "There is also this duck paw dish. Sprinkle the iron plate with seasonings, drive the live duck to the iron plate, and put the fire underneath..." "This vermicelli soup is actually shark fin..." "This is Buddha jumping over the wall..." "Yellow croaker in soup..." Sima Yi introduced the dishes one by one, and Ergouzi ate them with big mouthfuls, secretly calculating in his mind how many books he would eat back.

But a person's ability is limited after all. He couldn't bear it after eating, and those expensive dishes were still delivered one after another. He couldn't finish it, he couldn't finish it at all! This is the first time that people find that their stomach is so disappointing. He had no food before, and he felt like he could eat a cow in one meal. Today, there are so many delicious foods in front of him that he feels like he can’t eat any more after just a few bites. Er Gouzi has loosened his belt several times, but he can’t fit in. “Eat slowly, go to the bathroom first.” Er Gouzi held up his pants and stroked his belly, walking slowly along a corridor, sometimes burping. He was really too full, so he had to walk around to digest the food, and then go back to eat. Those who have seen a lot can tell at a glance that he is a country boy who has never seen him before and is too full. So everyone he met along the way avoided him. Er Gouzi walked around like this, and accidentally walked to the kitchen. The kitchen area is quite large, with several large rooms, some for storing food, some for slaughtering, and some for washing vegetables... "Hey! Who are you?" "Why are you here?" "Get out?" The servants working in the kitchen saw him dressed like a farmer and thought he had sneaked in to steal food. Without any courtesy, they shouted and wanted to drive him away. If he walked slower, they would hit him directly. Even after he walked a long way, he was still cursing behind him. Er Gouzi had an idea and wanted to take revenge on these people who looked down on others. Immediately, he walked to an unmanned place, took out an invisibility talisman and pasted it on his body, and his figure disappeared. Er Gouzi put on the invisibility talisman and swaggered to the kitchen again. Now no one could see him. In a large kitchen, thousands of chickens and ducks were killed, and a group of cooks were plucking their feathers. Er Gouzi avoided the cooks' sight and put all the killed chickens into the gourd. One cook could only rub her eyes desperately. She saw a pile of chicken just now, but it disappeared in the blink of an eye. Er Gouzi walked to a stove and found a large pot of chicken soup stewing inside through the lid of the pot. Taking advantage of the opportunity when a cook was not paying attention, he fished out all the chickens inside, picked up a broken shoe and a dead mouse and threw them in.

In another kitchen, there were many casseroles, and inside was the Buddha Jumps Over the Wall that he had just eaten. He did not hold back, and stole all the ingredients inside, and then replaced them with some chicken intestines and chicken feathers that were cleaned after killing the chickens and threw them in. Er Gouzi suddenly realized that he was too stupid before, and he could only stuff so much into his stomach. How can it be faster than stealing directly from the kitchen? It turns out that stealing is really addictive. When he was young, he stole pig food, and when he grew up, he stole human food. Then, he wandered around the kitchen and stole whatever he saw. He also sneaked into the warehouse, which was full of various ingredients. Chickens, ducks, fish, meat, mountain delicacies, and seafood filled the whole house, and there were even a few killed cows and donkeys. Taking advantage of the fact that no one was around, he didn't hesitate to put them all into his gourd. There was more than one warehouse in the back kitchen, and Er Gouzi swept through them one by one, taking away everything he could. He had completely fallen from a petty thief to a big thief. Anyway, everyone knew that Hongyan Tower and Hong'an Hall in the county town were all the county magistrate's properties. There was no psychological burden at all when stealing. When he left the kitchen, it was already in chaos, with a group of servants looking for the missing ingredients. At this time, Er Gouzi had returned to the banquet calmly, and everything that happened in the kitchen had nothing to do with him. The food in his stomach was almost digested, but now he felt a little nauseous when he saw the table full of delicious food. "You are full, why don't we go." "Really not eating?" Sima Yi was still a little confused. He was still trying hard to stuff his stomach just now, but now he suddenly didn't want to eat. "I don't want to eat!" Sima Yi was used to eating delicacies from mountains and seas since he was a child, and he didn't want to eat these few bites. He immediately asked Er Gouzi to go to Hongyan Tower. At the same time, on the fifth floor of Hongyan Tower. Usually only the county magistrate can come here. Today, the county magistrate is here to receive a new person from the top level of Anchang County. Except for the county lieutenant, everyone who should come has come. The dishes on these people's tables are more and richer, and even the big goose that Er Gouzi committed suicide on the table is also placed on their table. "According to the letter sent back by Sima Gang, there are now all the troublemakers outside, and they can't be killed."

"County Master, do you think we should open the warehouse to put some food and provide some relief?" The county magistrate is an old man without cultivation, and he asked with some concern at this moment. "You are a woman's kindness!" The county magistrate rejected this proposal without hesitation. "Giving food to the troublemakers will not only encourage the unruly style." "In the future, other unruly people will follow suit and make trouble when they have no food to eat." "This unruly style will never increase!" The county magistrate has been a county magistrate for many years and has rich experience in how to govern the unruly people. He has a set of ideas. "Let these unruly people die. Only those who stay are good citizens who abide by their duties." The county magistrate said, and he took a bowl of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall from the clay pot, put it to his mouth, and spit it out after taking a sip. This sip made everyone's head and face full of soup and saliva, and there was also some chicken manure. Everyone didn't expect that the county magistrate's mouth could spit manure, and it was not easy to wipe it in front of the county magistrate, which was somewhat disrespectful to the upper class. The county magistrate was furious and picked up the clay pot and smashed it to the ground. The casserole was broken, and the ingredients inside were scattered all over the floor. They were not delicacies from land or sea, but chicken feathers, chicken intestines, and chicken manure...

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