When lunch started, Mother Lin was still thinking about the upcoming departure. She kept picking up food for Lin Fan and chattering about trivial matters.
As we were talking, the topic went off track again.
They're either talking about which family has a second child, or which family's child is filial and spends every day with their parents. Or they're talking about which family's child is promising, has a good job, and has a high income...
If that were all I said, that would be it.
But every time Lin Ma finished speaking, she would add: Unlike you...
Specifically pointing out Lin Fan makes people feel uncomfortable.
Not to mention Lin Fan, even the four grown men who were listening felt very uncomfortable.
Lin Fan began to listen silently, lowering his head to eat without saying a word.
When Lin's mother got more and more excited and a little carried away, Lin Fan put down his chopsticks, wiped his mouth, and suddenly said, "So how dissatisfied are you with me?"
Mother Lin choked. She didn't expect that Lin Fan, who never spoke before, would suddenly confront her head-on.
Song Ren and several other young men were standing nearby, staring at Mother Lin eagerly, making her face flush.
This damn kid doesn't even give his mother any face in front of others.
She said angrily, "Shouldn't I be dissatisfied with you? Tell me, we raised you up to this age, and besides your age and your fat body, what else is there that doesn't worry us?"
Mother Lin was angry.
But as the person closest to Lin Fan, it was too hurtful for her to say this.
Song Ren and the others frowned and put down their chopsticks, but they didn't say anything.
Seeing that no one objected, Mother Lin was even more proud, "Look at them..."
"Why do you always have to look at others? What does they have to do with your life?" Lin Fan said.
She has been compared with others by her mother Lin since she was a child, and she still doesn't understand why she has to compare herself with others in everything.
"Does she live with you? Does she give you money? Does she call you mom?" Lin Fan questioned his mother seriously for the first time. "She doesn't give you anything, so why do you always have to look up to her?"
"You're right?!" Lin's mother was furious and slammed her chopsticks. "They're living a better life than you, and you can't say anything?! Look at yourself, there's no one like you, almost 40! Do you know what people say about you? You're an unwanted old maid!"
"Auntie!" "Enough!" The four of them and Lin's father spoke at the same time, but they couldn't stop Lin's mother from speaking.
"No one has ever told me to my face that I'm an unwanted old maid." Lin Fan's voice was so soft that everyone could hear the tremor in it, but she still said firmly to Lin Ma, "Only you. Only you told me that I'm an unwanted old maid."
Compared to the furious Lin's mother, Lin Fan's silence made everyone feel distressed.
"You say others are promising, but don't I have any? I have a good job now, with a high salary and good benefits..." Lin Fan said quietly, but his mother interrupted him unconvinced.
"What's your achievement of 300,000 yuan a year?" Lin's mother could not accept anyone's rebuttal to her, no matter what the facts were.
"300,000 yuan a year is not considered promising? Go outside and shout, which girl in the community can earn 300,000 yuan a year? And how many men are there?" Lin Fan felt sad, but the earrings on her ears kept washing away her surging emotions, and her heart seemed to become empty instead.
Mother Lin didn't say anything. In fact, 300,000 was not a small amount, she knew it in her heart.
She was just used to retorting. "Why don't you get married at your age..."
"Is not getting married what I want?" Lin Fan asked. "Didn't you say I was right when we broke up?"
"Then you can't always not have a boyfriend!" Lin's mother was no longer as excited, but she still refused to give in.
"Don't you know why I don't have a boyfriend?" Lin Fan stared straight at Lin's mother. The emotion in his eyes made Lin's mother dare not look directly at him and lowered her head to avoid him.
They all knew that Lin Fan was sick.
Even when Lin Fan jumped into the river, Lin's mother was right there. She was clearly filled with regret at the time, and after Lin Fan was fine, she vowed not to force her child anymore.
How...how could I forget again?
"I...I'm doing this for your own good..." Mother Lin's voice weakened.
"Is this what you mean by doing this for my own good? My friends came to your house for the first time, how did you treat them?" Lin Fan didn't want to expose the truth easily. "You like Song Ren so much, so I'll go with him to get the marriage certificate tomorrow. What do you think?"
Everyone was shocked.
Song Ren raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. He sat still and just looked at Lin Ma.
"I... I didn't mean that... I just want you to live a good life." Mother Lin suddenly became a little weak in front of the tough Lin Fan.
"You think well, but is that what I want? Are you really happy with just pocket money?" Lin Fan said, revealing the most unbearable thing Lin's mother had experienced in recent years. Before she could get angry, he added, "Actually, I think you should be thankful."
"What are you thankful for?" Mother Lin was confused.
"If it weren't for my good luck, you would only be able to talk to me at my grave today." Lin Fan said lightly.
There was silence at the table for a moment.
Lin's mother finally realized that Lin Fan was still a patient. She had been so seriously ill before.
But when she came back this time and everything was normal, she forgot about it.
"Auntie, Lin Fan's illness hasn't healed yet. That's why we need to accompany her back." Song Ren said.
Lin's mother was embarrassed and subconsciously wanted to refute her, but Lin's father got angry. "Alright, what do you want? You thought about it every day when you were away, and now that you're back, you keep making trouble!"
Mother Lin couldn't bring herself to be nice to Lin Fan and Song Ren, but she wouldn't be polite to Father Lin.
She threw the bowl, glared at Lin's father, rushed into the room, and slammed the door with a loud "bang".
There was another silence.
"I'm sorry, Dad." Lin Fan lowered his head first.
"Uncle, the psychologist said that in Lin Fan's case, if he has negative emotions, he should express them and not let them ferment in his heart." Song Ren helped explain.
"I know, I know. The psychiatrist told us that, too." Father Lin smiled bitterly. "She also said that as long as Xiaofan felt better, she could even hit us with a stick to vent her emotions. But Xiaofan, she never could do it. Now... it's okay."
"Uncle..." Song Ren didn't know how to persuade her. In fact, Lin's father had an unshirkable responsibility for Lin's mother's current situation.
"I'm sorry to have embarrassed you. We're not qualified parents." Father Lin waved his hands and bowed his head. "Isn't the impression I've given you these past few days a bad one? I hope there will be a chance to change your mind in the future."
Several people said no.
"Okay, I think you've almost finished your meal. With the state of our house, I won't keep you here any longer. Or you can leave early." When the dishes on the table were almost finished, Dad Lin actually started to drive the guests away.
Everyone looked at the closed door. Mother Lin was still angry inside. They really didn't feel like eating anymore, so they all stood up obediently.
Dad Lin sent a few people downstairs.
The car drove downstairs and waited in the morning. Dad Lin stood at the entrance of the corridor and gave Lin Fan a few more instructions.
Lin Fan took the opportunity to help his father pull up his coat and slipped a card into his pocket. "There's one million in here. The password is your birthday. Keep it safe."
Father Lin was startled and subconsciously reached out to hold it. Then he heard Lin Fan say again, "I have money now, so you don't have to save it. But be careful not to let Mom get hold of it."
Father Lin nodded. "I know. I know what's going on. Be careful out there."
"Yes, I will. But it might not be easy to come back later, you know." Lin Fan straightened Lin's father's clothes. "If you have anything to say, tell me, text or call. Don't worry about the money."
"I know. You don't have to worry about us. Take good care of yourself." Dad Lin shook Lin Fan's hand.
Lin Fan nodded and turned to walk towards the car.
"Xiao Fan!" Lin's father shouted, "Your mother loves you in her heart. Don't blame her."
Lin Fan stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking at his father, then at his mother's head poking out of the fourth-floor window, and nodded. "I know. I don't blame her. Take care of yourselves."
After saying that, he got into the car.
After a few people said goodbye to Lin's father, the car slid out.
As the car drove away, Li Chunhua and Gao Fei, who were leaning against the rear window and waving goodbye to Lin's father, saw Lin's mother at the window on the fourth floor.
"Lin Fan," Li Chunhua called out, "your mother is seeing you off."
Lin Fan looked out the window and saw his father at the stairs and his mother at the window on the fourth floor, both of them watching the car leave without moving.
"I know." Lin Fan's eyes were a little blurry, and his nose felt a little sour. "She is just a pitiful person who doesn't know how to love others."
Lin's mother is like a hedgehog; when she gets close to others, she always hurts them. Deep down, she loves Lin Fan, but oftentimes, she's more concerned with her own feelings. Lin Fan has since found her inner strength. This is why I arranged this trip for her. She's growing. Vote for Lin Fanfan.
