As Rose lay sprawled on the cold floor, staring blankly at the ceiling, time seemed to slip away. She didn’t know how long she had been lying there minutes, hours, it was all a blur. The well of tears she’d tapped into had dried up; her eyes felt raw and swollen, but now even they were devoid of expression. She blinked occasionally, but her body felt as lifeless as her spirit, emptied of the fierce storm of emotions that had raged within her.
The regret, the guilt, the longing to rewrite the pastit was all too much. No matter how composed and strong she had once believed herself to be, this was too heavy a burden to carry. She thought she knew herself. Thought she was resilient, stoic even. But this… this was breaking her from within, shaking her down to the very foundation of her being.
The memories of her past life clawed at her, each one a reminder of the cruelty she had shown Lucian, the indifference she had worn like armor. She felt those moments as sharp as any knife, cutting deeper than she thought possible. She had treated Lucian like he didn’t matter, like he was nothing, and now each remembered glance, each cold word was a fresh wound, pouring regret straight into her soul. The weight of her actions pressed down on her, suffocating and relentless.
Images of him flashed through her mind Lucian’s small, hopeful smile, his eyes lighting up when he was with her, trusting her in a way she’d never deserved. He had been so gentle, so filled with kindness, and she had tossed it all aside, too blinded by her own insecurities to see what she truly had. All that Lucian had wanted was a place in her life, and she had shut the door on him at every turn.
At times, her body trembled involuntarily as waves of pain swept over her, her chest tightening until it felt like she might shatter from within. She thought of all the things she had said, the cold-hearted words she had carelessly thrown his way. All the while, Lucian had kept reaching out to her, always forgiving, always willing to give her another chance to show her love. And she had thrown it all away.
If only… she thought, the words looping in her mind like a mantra, the desperate plea of a soul drowning in regret. If only I could go back and undo it all. If only I had another chance… But now, even with the gift of time, she couldn’t undo the damage she had caused. She’d come back to the past with a chance to make things right, and yet… the memories, those horrifying memories of her past actions, seemed to mock her.
It was more than just guilt that haunted her. There was a darker, quieter pain, one she had buried deep within her soul long ago. A secret that had lurked in the background of her life, a shadow that had shaped her even when she didn’t fully realize it. A truth that only she knew a truth she’d carried silently, and one she could never escape.
She was adopted.
Her mind drifted back to the day she’d learned this. She had been young, barely old enough to understand the gravity of such a revelation, yet the words had shattered her. Her mother, Olivia, had told her bluntly, without sugarcoating, because that was the kind of woman she was. Olivia didn’t believe in secrets, especially not between family. She had looked Rose in the eyes and told her that, biologically, they were not connected—that Rose wasn’t her blood daughter.
“You’re mine,” Olivia had said, her voice steady, her gaze unwavering. “Blood doesn’t define family, Rose. You’re my daughter. I never want you to think otherwise, not for a second.”
Olivia’s words had been firm, filled with love and certainty, but Rose had struggled. The knowledge gnawed at her, despite Olivia’s reassurances. For weeks, she had wandered through the house feeling untethered, like she didn’t belong, like she was somehow… less. The love Olivia showed her was always genuine, and deep down, Rose knew that her mother loved her equally, perhaps even more fiercely than she loved Lucian. But there was still a part of her that was haunted by insecurity.
She began to measure herself against Lucian, her mind drawing invisible lines that divided her from him. He was the real child, the blood of Olivia’s blood, while she… she felt like an outsider, an intruder, pretending to belong. She buried that feeling deep, so deep that even she could hardly recognize it for what it was. But over time, it grew, festering into resentment, a twisted need to prove herself better than Lucian. She had to be stronger, smarter, more capable. She couldn’t just be a sister; she had to be the better one.
Without realizing it, she had begun to harbor a silent rivalry with him, a battle that only she fought, blind to the fact that he had never seen her as anything but his beloved sister. She had turned her love for him into something cold, something competitive and distant. And in the process, she had poisoned what could have been a beautiful relationship.
The depth of her betrayal cut deeper now, knowing that Lucian had never asked for any of this. He had only ever wanted her love, had looked up to her, believed in her unconditionally. He hadn’t known of the walls she’d built in her heart, the walls that had pushed him out.
Rose bit her lip, the sharp pain grounding her even as her thoughts spiraled. Blood pooled on her lip, the metallic taste mingling with her shame as her eyes stared unseeing at the ceiling above. Her mind was a whirlwind of regret, each painful memory dragging her further into the darkness. Every hateful word, every cold glance, every moment of dismissiveness replayed in her mind, relentless and unforgiving.
She remembered the way she had spoken to him with disdain, the careless way she had dismissed him to others, her words dripping with contempt. “He’s just a disappointment, a burden,” she had said more than once, not caring who heard. And now, those words felt like daggers in her heart.
The shame was suffocating, and yet, she knew she deserved every bit of it. Lucian had given her everything, and she had returned his love with nothing but scorn. She thought of him now, of the warmth in his eyes, the gentle way he had always looked at her, as if she was the most precious person in his world. She had betrayed that love, that unwavering trust, and she could never undo the damage she had done.
With a hollow, aching realization, she understood the truth that had been buried within her heart for so long: she had never deserved his love. She hadn’t deserved his sacrifice, his loyalty, his devotion. And now, lying there alone, she felt the weight of that truth pressing down on her, a cold and unyielding reality that she could never escape.
She brought her arm up, covering her face, hiding from the world, from herself, from the memories that refused to let her go. She didn’t want to be seen, didn’t want anyone to witness the depths of her failure, her betrayal. She didn’t even deserve to look at the ceiling, to exist in this world where Lucian had once breathed and lived, loving her despite everything.
“I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry, Lucian,” she whispered, her voice breaking as she spoke. Her words were barely audible, choked by the sobs that wracked her body. “I’m a coward… I’m selfish… I’m not worthy of you. I never was.”
The ceiling above blurred as fresh tears filled her eyes, blinding her, and yet she welcomed the pain, welcomed the sting of guilt that filled her heart. She lay there, broken and hollow, her voice nothing more than a whisper in the darkness, a confession to a brother who would never hear it. Continue your journey at freewebnovel
Her thoughts turned to their shared past, the memories that had once seemed so insignificant, but now cut her to the core. Every smile he had given her, every time he had reached out to her, every moment he had tried to be close to her… she had pushed him away each time, her own insecurities blinding her to the love he had freely offered. She had taken him for granted, assumed he would always be there, never realizing the price of her indifference until it was too late.
In that moment, Rose knew she would carry this pain with her for the rest of her life. She could never undo what she had done, never take back the hurt she had caused. She could only lie there, staring blankly at the ceiling, her body a vessel of grief, her heart forever marked by the love she had squandered. ƒrēewebnovel.com
And as the silence pressed in around her, she knew one thing for certain: no amount of time, no second chance, could ever make up for what she had lost. The love she had once dismissed so easily was now the very thing she could never reclaim, and the weight of that loss was a burden she would carry until the end of her days.
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second chapter of the day…still three remaining to go
haha thank for support guys your author is doing great this is the last chapter for rose past i can do more but enough for now
lets get to real thing in next chapters