“Lucian, stop.” Olivia stepped in front of her son, blocking his way before he could make it up the stairs. Her voice wavered, trembling with a mixture of anxiety and desperation. Lucian’s movements were sluggish, heavy with alcohol and the weight of unresolved pain. He blinked at her, annoyance flickering in his eyes.
“Ugh, what is it?” Lucian slurred, clearly irritated. He was in no mood to deal with whatever this was. “Just tell me, Mom. You’re acting weird tonight, so get to the point.” His words were sharper than usual, but the alcohol dulled his concern.
Olivia’s heart ached seeing her son like this broken, lost, unreachable. She had seen him grow from a bright-eyed child, always eager to please, into a hollow man who seemed like a stranger. She had practiced what to say, had imagined this conversation going a thousand different ways, but now, standing in front of him, everything she had planned vanished.
“Tell me first,” she started, her voice trembling more than she intended, “why… what is this? Why did you do it?” She grabbed his arm, lifting it just enough to reveal the faint blade marks still visible on his wrist. The pain in her heart was unbearable. “Lucian, why would you hurt yourself? Why didn’t you come to me? I’m your mother…”
Lucian looked down at his arm lazily, blinking slowly as if the cuts didn’t belong to him. “This?” he mumbled. “I don’t know.” He let out a bitter chuckle, pulling his arm back from her. “Honestly, does it matter? Why do you even care now?”lucian drunk spat out without even realising where his language is going
The question hit Olivia like a slap to the face. “What do you mean, why do I care? You think I don’t? Lucian… I’m your mother!” Her voice cracked as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She was shaking now, her body trembling from the weight of guilt and disbelief.
The words she had never said words of love, concern, and protection all threatened to bubble up too late.
Lucian’s eyes narrowed, and for a moment, the fog of alcohol seemed to lift as he stared at her with cold clarity. “You don’t need to act like you care. It’s disgusting.”
Olivia recoiled, the sharpness of his words slicing into her. “No… no, I’m not acting,” she stammered, her breath catching in her throat. “I care, Lucian. I care for real. I’ve always cared…” Her voice faltered as the realization began to sink in did she ever show him?
Had he ever felt her love, her concern? Panic gripped her heart as she tried to remember a single moment where she had shown him how much he meant to her, but her mind came up blank.
Lucian scoffed, running a hand through his messy hair. “Really, Mom? When did you start caring? I must’ve missed it. Was it after you ignored me for years? After you treated me like I didn’t exist?”
“I didn’t mean to!” Olivia shouted, her voice cracking under the weight of her guilt. “I didn’t realize! I.i..i”
“You didn’t realize?” Lucian cut her off, laughing bitterly. “No, of course, you didn’t. You never realized anything.” He was shaking now, the anger and sadness bubbling up uncontrollably. “Let me ask you, then, Mom, since you ’care’ so much. When was the last time you celebrated my birthday?”
Olivia’s heart dropped. Her mouth opened to answer, but no words came out. She couldn’t remember.why can’t i remember no what is happening impossible no Olivia eyes widened at this small realisation her mind buzzing
“Right.” Lucian’s voice dripped with bitterness. “How about when you came to one of my school events? No? Or when you picked me up from school, just once?”
Olivia tried to speak, but nothing came. The memories he was asking for the moments he needed they weren’t there. Her mind buzzed, frantic, as she searched for any small instance where she had been there for him, but all she found were gaps, empty spaces where she had been absent.
Lucian’s laughter was hollow and filled with pain. “You can’t answer, can you?” he said, his voice cracking slightly as he continued. “What was I expecting? I always knew you wouldn’t have an answer.”
The realization crashed down on Olivia. She had failed him. Every moment Lucian had asked for every chance to be there for him she had missed. And now, standing before him, she saw for the first time the full extent of the damage she had caused. Tears streamed down her face, but they did nothing to ease the ache in her chest. How could she have been so blind?
How could she have let this happen?
Lucian’s voice softened, but the pain behind it only grew sharper. “You know, I always wanted to ask you these things… in my last life, I mean. But I never had the courage because I knew the truth would hurt too much. But now… I don’t care anymore.” He wiped a tear from his eye, as if trying to erase the vulnerability he was showing.
Olivia’s heart shattered as she watched the tears fall from her son’s eyes. He was breaking in front of her, and it was her fault. She had been so caught up in her career, in her life, that she had missed the signs the pain, the isolation, the deep wounds she had inflicted without even realizing it.
“I’m sorry,” Olivia whispered, her voice barely audible. “I’m so, so sorry, Lucian.” But even as she said the words, she knew they weren’t enough. They would never be enough to undo the years of neglect, the loneliness he had endured.
Lucian turned away, unable to look at her anymore. He had heard those words before, and they had always been empty. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered, his voice thick with sarcasm. “Whatever you say, Mom.”
“No, Lucian… please…” Olivia took a step forward, reaching out to touch his arm, but he recoiled, shaking her off.
“Don’t,” he said, his voice cold. “Don’t touch me. Don’t act like you care now.”
Olivia’s hands dropped to her sides as she watched her son walk away from her, his back stiff with anger and pain. She wanted to run after him, to hold him, to beg him for forgiveness, but her legs wouldn’t move. She had failed him so completely that she wasn’t sure she even had the right to ask for his forgiveness.
As Lucian walked toward the stairs, Olivia fell to her knees, sobbing into her hands. The weight of her guilt was suffocating. How had she not noticed? How had she let this happen? She had always thought she was doing the right thing working hard to secure their future, building an empire but what good was any of it if she had lost her son in the process?
“I was supposed to protect him,” she whispered through her sobs. “I was supposed to love him.”
—-
sorry guys for late updates and only one chapter of that
the thing is exam’s arr coming so well…u can understand right
forgive me guys well for next 5-6 days i might not be able to update rangularly
well not that i really don’t wanna,well if i had little free time ill definitely send it right away so there are chances of update… just wanted to tell you guys in advance…if I missed…you guys should understand
right
thanks for reading guys and your love and support…
