Zeno flopped onto his couch, limbs splayed and sighing, as the ambiguous feeling enveloped him. “Ah,” he breathed, “freedom.”
After escaping the emotional wreckage of the Ninth Circle shoot, all he wanted was to sleep, sleep, and sleep even more.
The unit was quiet and peaceful. With that, Zeno closed his eyes.
However, he found himself opening them five seconds later.
He sat up, scratched his head, slouched, then sat upright again.
Why does he feel so weird?
This was rest! This was exactly what he wanted since the very beginning. Even before entering this body, he wanted those ten years of rest so bad.
He even boiled some herbal tea for this occasion!
He tried lying down again. He closed his eyes and imagined himself lying on a cloud, his favorite past time in Avalis. However, even then, he found himself restless.
“Oh no,” Zeno whispered. “I’m broken.”
His fingers twitched. His knees bounced. His mind kept racing with ideas. “Am I—” he gasped. “Am I turning into a workaholic?!”
He shot up, panicked. “No. No. No. During my past missions, I could sleep for forty-eight hours straight if no one woke me. I used to enter a hibernation cycle more intense than Master As himself.”
Zeno narrowed his eyes at the distant wall, feeling like it was seducing him into productivity. “This is capitalism’s fault. They want me to burn out.”
“But I have enough money,” he muttered, biting his lip.
Just then, a chime echoed from his system.
[Side Quest: Take Maxie to the Groomers]
[Reward: Instant Tears]
He stared at it for a moment. Then, at Maxie, his brown fluffy dog, who had been quietly judging him from the edge of the couch, curled up like a smug little dumpling.
Her fur was longer than he remembered, and she smelled vaguely of the gym bros she’s been hanging out with the pat month.
He tilted his head. “Why is this a mission?”
Maxie, without moving her head, slowly narrowed her eyes at him.
Anyway, the system has spoken, so he has no choice. Yeah, he needs to go out because he has no choice.
He pushed himself off the couch and shuffled toward his closet.
“Can’t even get a break without being side-quested. Unbelievable.”
He threw on a black cap, some jeans, and an oversized hoodie.
He grabbed Maxie’s leash before dragging her out the door.
“Alright, Maxie. Let’s go.”
Maxie rose like the queen she was and padded over like she was doing Zeno a favor.
Fortunately, there was a groomer’s place only a few blocks away from their units.
With Maxie’s leash in one hand and his phone in the other, he walked toward the establishment.
Maxie barked at absolutely everything that had Zeno’s face in it, which wasn’t as rare as you would think because his face was truly everywhere.
“Goodness, no wonder you’re the demon,” Zeno groaned. “Calm down, you little spawn.”
By the time they had reached the glass door of the groomers, Zeno had three bite marks on his jacket. The receptionist smiled brightly, unaware that the person in front of her was the model of the dog food they were selling.
“Good morning!” she greeted cheerfully. “Do you have an appointment?”
“No, is that alright?” he asked.
“Yes, our groomer is free currently,” she chimed. “What’s her name?”
“Maxie,” Zeno said, dragging the canine inside. Maxie was already trying to chew through the leash.
The groomer, a man with teal hair tied into a little bun, stepped forward. “Hi there, baby,” he cooed at Maxie.
Maxie snarled like a beast summoned from the underworld.
The groomer jumped back. “Oh, goodness! Sir—are you sure she’s here for grooming and not for exorcism?”
Zeno scratched the back of his neck and nodded. “Don’t worry. She’s only like this when I’m holding her.”
The groomer looked at his bite marks. “Sir, maybe we should treat you.”
Zeno shook his head. “I’ve had worse.”
Cautiously, the groomer reached for Maxie. She growled, then sniffed his fingers, and—miracle of miracles—settled down like an angel on his arm. The groomer appeared utterly stunned.
“Well… it seems you’re right,” he muttered, leading Maxie away like she hadn’t been moments away from eating Zeno’s left foot.
“You can wait over there, sir.”
“Thanks,” Zeno mumbled and plopped himself onto a white couch in the waiting area.
The pet spa was a little too sparkly. There were pastel walls, shelves of overpriced dog shampoos, and motivational quotes like “Every dog has its spa day!” printed in cursive everywhere. He found the free coffee machine and poured himself a tiny cup of it.
He sat back and sighed.
However, the moment he sat down, he realized that the room was filled with other dogs and pets waiting for their owners.
Every animal was going ballistic. The golden retriever in the corner had its face smooshed against its crate like it was witnessing a ghost. A white cat was pawing frantically at the door like it wanted to escape. A small corgi had jumped into a pile of fur and was burrowing for its life.
Zeno sipped his coffee like it was none of his business.
A parrot across the room screamed, “HE’S HERE! HE’S HEEERE!”
“What?” Zeno blinked.
“HE’S BACK FOR VENGEANCE!”
“…Okay.”
A lizard in a terrarium flipped itself over dramatically, belly-up. A bunny passed out in its pen. Even the goldfish in the tank were swimming in spirals.
“Well, animals have always been weird around me,” Zeno murmured.
Then, from the corner of his eye, he saw movement.
A shiny corn snake was being taken out of a carrier by a trembling teenager. The snake slithered halfway out, lifted its head…
…and promptly passed out. It just flopped its body on its owner.
“Huh,” Zeno muttered.
The boy gasped. “Midori?! MIDORI?!”
“I think he fainted,” Zeno said casually.
“Midori’s never fainted before! I think he’s dead.”
Zeno just shrugged and took another sip of coffee. Honestly, he’d met a lot of snakes in his lifetime. In the industry, in his past missions, and in literal life-and-death situations.
But this snake? This snake was the cutest snake he’d ever met.
Yeah.
Actual snakes were better than humans who acted like snakes.