“No, no, no!” Jace flailed as Zeno’s health bar dropped to zero for the thirteenth time. The defeat screen faded into view, but Zeno appeared unbothered.
1 Kill. 13 Deaths. 3 Assists.
Zeno tilted his head, looking for a hidden meaning in the scoreboard. “It’s the milk,” he said. “It’s not powerful enough.”
Jace closed his eyes. He had never been more frustrated in his life. “It’s not the milk! You just don’t understand the game!”
Zeno clicked around. “Why does she shoot milk? But why does my opponent have a bow?”
“It’s fantasy, Zeno!”
He leaned back, folding his arms with a thoughtful nod. “Then I’m ready.”
“Ready for what?” Jace asked flatly.
“For war,” Zeno responded.
Jace groaned so loud that it sounded like it came from his soul. “You are not ready. That was a bot game. A BOT GAME, Zeno. You died to a scripted AI! And they weren’t even the hardest bots! That hunter bot wasn’t even using its ult.”
Zeno narrowed his eyes. “It’s what?”
“I can’t do this,” Jace muttered into his palms.
Still, he nodded in resignation. “Okay. Let’s try a normal game.”
Zeno cracked his knuckles. “Let’s.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You need your own laptop,” Jace added, and called out, “Bobby!”
From the other room, Bobby peeked in. “Yeah?”
“Zeno needs a laptop!”
Bobby held up a finger. “Daebak sent you new ones. Aren’t they great?”
A few seconds later, he returned with a new gaming laptop. Zeno took it, setting it up with no fanfare.
“Now,” Jace said, “you have to input your character name—your gamer tag.”
Zeno nodded. While Jace took a sip of water, Zeno typed in his new identity and clicked “Save.”
When Jace came back and peeked over Zeno’s shoulder, he nearly dropped his water.
“What did you put?”
“You said to input my character name.”
“Yeah! I meant your username! Not the name of the character!”
The screen now proudly displayed—
Username: LactaLynx
“Zeno,” Jace whined. “Now, you’re going to be LactaLynx playing Lacta Lynx. Do you know how insane that sounds?”
Zeno shrugged. “Well, it makes sense. I can change it later.”
“It costs 20 diamonds!”
Zeno narrowed his eyes. “How much is that?”
“Twenty dollars,” Jace responded. Then, he sighed. “Alright, let’s have you change it.”
“Nope,” Zeno said right away. “Too expensive.”
“What?” Jace exclaimed. “You’re loaded.”
“Twenty dollars for a name change is not worth it. That’s a full meal for a family of three. Let’s just play.”
Jace stared at him for a long time before sighing. “Fine!”
Soon, they were in the team queue. Jace helped Zeno select Lacta Lynx, as usual. As soon as they locked in, the chat exploded.
[VapeGod69]: Lmao who still plays Lacta?
[Kebab98]: Nerfed to the ground. Bro is playing with nostalgia.
[ShibaZing]: Lacta? Unironically? Yikes.
[VapeGod69]: Yo, look at his username! I think he’s joking.
“Are they talking about us?”
“Yup,” Jace said, deadpan. “This is the online world. Brace yourself.”
Their in-game names stood out on the roster:
The Destroyer (Jace)
LactaLynx (Zeno)
“I don’t think your name’s any better,” Zeno commented, glancing at Jace’s handle.
“It’s cool!” Jace cried. “It says I destroy!”
“Sure,” Zeno muttered.
The game began with colorful music and countdowns, and the team loaded onto the map.
Zeno’s hero bounced happily with each step. The milk tanks on her back jiggled.
“Follow me,” Jace said, picking Muffin, a support character who wielded a frying pan and flung cupcakes for healing.
Five minutes into the game, chaos erupted.
Zeno wandered into the mid-lane alone, humming lightly.
[ShibaZing]: bro what are you doing?????
Zeno walked straight into an enemy trap and was killed.
[Kebab98: ANOTHER DEATH??!
[VapeGod79]: Lacta down. Again.
“Why did I die?!” Zeno asked, tilting his head.
“You walked into an ambush! Again!” Jace shouted, slamming keys. “Stick with me!”
Zeno, in fact, wasn’t good at everything. He accidentally milk-splashed their own turret. It did nothing. He milked the path in the opposite direction. He accidentally ulted in the spawn zone.
[VapeGod69]: IS HE DRUNK?
[Kebab98]: Noob.
By the 10-minute mark, Zeno’s score was 0-9-1.
“Alright,” Zeno said, cracking his neck. “I’m warmed up.”
Zeno milk-splashed straight into five enemies.
“NOOOO!”
The chat erupted again, now with the opponents joining in.
[ThunderKing]: keep milking it’s funny
[xHanabiX]: Hey, let Lacta kill someone. He’s hilarious!
After a few more attempts, they finally lost.
DEFEAT
Jace threw his head back. “This is going to be a long tournament.”
“That was pretty fun,” Zeno said, casually crossing his arms in front of his chest like he hadn’t just tanked an entire match.
Jace stared at him like he’d grown three heads. “Fun? FUN?! Zeno, I— They’re going to report our accounts!”
“Why?”
“Because you made them lose!”
Zeno’s brows drew together slightly, thoughtful. “That seems to be too extreme. It’s not illegal to lose.”
Jace was already typing furiously. “No, no please,” he muttered under his breath. “I’ll give you skins. Skins! Please don’t report us.”
“We need this account to play for the Star Collision.”
A moment later, he hit send, and Jace’s phone dinged on the table.
“You just made me lose eighty dollars,” Jace said with a disappointed expression.
Zeno tilted his head. “Eighty? That’s cheap for skin, isn’t it? Skin is pretty expensive in hospitals.”
Jace pursed his lips. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Then, he groaned, sliding down the couch like he’d aged ten years in an hour. “I don’t know… The death match is tomorrow. I feel like it’s going to be a disaster. Let’s just forfeit.”
“No, it’s fine,” Zeno said, standing up and brushing dust from his pants.
“How can you just stand there and act calm?!”
Zeno shrugged. “You’ll carry us.”
Jace pursed his lips. “I can’t. I have limits.”
“I’ll improve really fast,” Zeno said calmly.
He already knew how the game worked, and after a few practices, he believed he could finally grasp how Lacta Lynx actually worked.
Zeno was a fast learner, and along with that, he had a booster.
[Boost: Learn A Skill Fast]
Acquired. Not yet used.
A small, knowing smile tugged at the corner of his lips.