“Trauma counseling?”
Rowan groggily closed his eyes before snapping into clarity a moment after.
“What are you talking about? I don’t need any coun—”
“That’s what they all say.”
Seth shook his head while jotting a few more things on the notepad in front of him. Relaxing his back on the chair, he reached for the phone and raised the volume of the music that was playing.
His actions confused Rowan, but before he could process the situation, his mind started to relax even further.
It was as if his brain had been dragged into a soft yet comforting embrace.
All thoughts and abnormalities from before seemed to vanish from his mind.
…In its place was an utter sense of tranquility.
“Should we start with a simple question?”
Seth’s voice echoed in the background as Rowan sat in his chair, his eyes gradually closing.
He knew that something was wrong, but his mind refused to listen.
“How long have you been working for the Guild?”
“…..”
It was silent at first.
But then…
“This is my third year.”
Rowan eventually answered, his mind growing even more relaxed as the gentle tune whispered in the air.
“Third year?”
“….Yes.”
“I see. So you must’ve gone through a lot while being at the Guild.”
“Yes, I have.”
Rowan thought about all the gates and missions he had been subjected to. All the deaths he had seen, and all the near-death encounters he had been in.
He… had indeed gone through a lot.
“In that sense, you must’ve had trouble sleeping lately. How often do you get nightmares?”
“It’s… almost every day.”
There were only a few days when he’d not get them, and those days were usually the days he’d come back utterly exhausted.
Only in such days would he not receive any nightmares.
It was a real struggle for him.
“Almost every day? That’s… quite bad. How do you try to manage the nightmares?”
“I don’t.”
How could he manage them?
He had tried going to all types of psychologists and therapists, but none of them helped. The nightmares never ended.
Rowan had grown to accept them.
“Even if I do end up forgetting about them, what does it matter in the end? I’ll still experience something similar.”
Rowan’s chest ached as his thoughts paused thus far.
He couldn’t understand why he was even speaking at this moment. This guy was merely a stranger who knew nothing about him.
Someone whom the Guild had hired on a whim.
And yet…
Yet…
“That sounds really unfortunate.”
Why was his voice so soothing to hear?
“Have you ever thought of quitting?”
“Quitting?”
Opening his eyes, Rowan smirked.
“Of course not.”
The thought had never crossed his mind. He was just like many of the people within the department. Someone… who had their family, or someone close to them, taken by an anomaly.
“…I’ve… got my sister to take care of. I can’t quit. Not until…”
Rowan’s chest ached as his lips trembled.
Seth remained quiet while staring at Rowan. He proceeded to jot a few things on the notepad before calmly speaking.
“Has your sister been taken by an anomaly?”
Rowan shook his head, his voice stripped from his mouth.
She was still alive.
…But just barely.
It was just that… she was in a coma.
“I’ve made it my mission to find the anomaly and cure her. That’s why… That’s why I can’t quit.”
Rowan’s body shook as he mumbled such words. He wasn’t sure why he was saying so much, but he felt vulnerable at this very moment.
He felt weak, and the only thing that he found soothing was Seth’s voice.
“…”
So much that the silence that followed his words made Rowan inwardly start to panic.
Why is he not saying anything? Does he think I’m pathetic? Does he—
But the last thing he could’ve expected was the next words that Seth said.
“That’s quite noble of you.”
Noble?
Me…?
“There’s no shame in taking a job for motives such as these. You don’t need to have the grand goal of saving the world, or any of that nonsense. Whatever makes you happy is what matters. Money, women, saving your sister… Your choice is only wrong if you let others tell you that it’s wrong.”
My choice is only wrong if I let others tell me it’s wrong?
Rowan’s lips trembled further.
But soon, Seth’s voice echoed again.
“Nightmares are a window into your inner world. They serve a purpose — helping your mind process stress, fear, and unresolved emotions. Your brain doesn’t simply shut down when you sleep; instead, it continues working through what you’ve experienced. Nightmares … they only exist as a reminder of all the pent-up negativity you haven’t dealt with during the day.”
“W-what…?”
Slowly craning his neck to stare at Seth, he saw his dead eyes looking straight at him.
“It’s okay to open yourself up to me. It’s my job to listen to your worries. I’m here… to handle all of your pent-up negativity.”
Quietly swallowing his saliva, Rowan opened his mouth but couldn’t say anything.
This wasn’t the first time he had heard of something like this. Many therapists had said something similar.
And yet…
This was the first time he truly felt different upon hearing the words.
Once again, his lips trembled as he held onto the armrest of the chair.
“O-okay.”
He nodded quietly.
“I’ll… try.”
And for the first time since seeing him, Rowan saw a thin smile appear on Seth’s lips.
“That’s great.”
Seth proceeded to take out his notepad again as he jotted a few things down.
“The process of healing always starts with you. The fact that you’re willing to change is the most important aspect. Now then…”
Seth lowered the notepad to stare at Rowan.
“Would you be so kind and tell me why you were in my office?”
“Ah.”
Rowan’s face froze in that moment. He suddenly recalled the incidents from the day prior, and his breathing grew rough again.
But…
“Don’t worry. I’m not mad. I can tell you were suffering a lot from the nightmares. Just be honest with me.”
“That’s…”
Rowan lowered his head, but eventually told him the truth.
“I was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Yes, I…” Taking a pause, Rowan looked at Seth in shame, “I wanted to impress Zoey, and since it looked like she didn’t like you, I thought I’d do something to make her happy, but… the moment I came into this office, everything went wrong. The pa—”
“Stop there.”
Seth raised his hand to stop Rowan from speaking.
“Forget everything that happened at the office. It was simply the result of all the stress you’d been holding in, mixed with a bit too much to drink. You kept bottling things up until it all came crashing down at once.”
“I-is that so?”
“Yes.”
Seth put the notepad down and looked Rowan straight in the eyes. At the same time, the music continued to play in the background.
“I can understand how you feel, though. However, that’s the wrong way to look at things if you want to impress someone.”
“I know, but…”
“For now, focus on yourself.”
Seth’s voice turned softer.
“…You need to start prioritizing yourself above all else.”
I do?
“You are important.”
I am?
“Yes, so… let it out.”
Seth smiled kindly once again.
“In this room, it’s just you and me. Let everything out. I’ll be here to listen to all of it.”
And with that, the room fell silent.
It was just Seth and Rowan as the two stood in silence.
That was until…
“O-okay.”
Rowan spoke again, his chest trembling as he held his fist near his mouth
He began to let everything out.
From his past, his worries, and all the stress he had been through.
The entire time, Seth listened.
He listened with a kind smile as he jotted a few things down on his notepad. Mainly a list of things he needed to buy when he went back to the dorms.
He was running out of milk.
’Oh, right… I need to get some butter too.’
Unaware of this, Rowan continued to pour all his emotions out.
That was also the day Seth received his first patient.