“……”
[Think about it! It’ll save time and free you from unnecessary burdens…]
“Wait a second.”
[‘Wait a second’? Aha, is there something bothering you?]
“These tattoos have been useful in a lot of ways.”
[Haha! Oh, come now!]
[That was back when you were suffering at that joyless, underpaid job!]
[But now, Mr. Soleum, you’re part of this splendid talk show! No matter where you go, you’ll be treated well. You could even get free sundae ice cream at boutique parlors. Come, come—let’s clean up these messy little scribbles.]
Hmm.
Especially the inventory tattoo.
‘It could even be used for some entertaining moments on the show.’
Like pulling out props from my arm as if by magic, surprising the audience.
Even if I didn’t step on stage, it’d still be useful—helping the staff move sets or lights in a pinch.
“Why should I get rid of something that’s already useful? Really, I’m only asking because I don’t understand.”
[Hmmm.]
Braun clasped his hands together.
[I see, Mr. Soleum. Now that you’ve eaten and regained your strength, you’re showing more of your true self… Very good!]
[In that case, I’ll look into alternatives. I’ll find something that offers a similar effect.]
[You’re even aiming for a magician’s tricks now! Such passion—it’s truly moving! Haha!]
Braun’s TV screen displayed an emoticon wiping away tears.
[Then, enjoy the rest of your break, Friend!]
“Yeah. Thanks.”
The host watched as the catering staff thoroughly cleaned up my dressing room before finally waving goodbye and stepping out.
“Phew.”
I sat down on the sofa.
Since I wasn’t scheduled to appear in the next show, and the guest booking and production meetings for this week were already done, I had some free time. 𝔯ÄℕꝊ𝐁ĘＳ
‘Might as well do some organizing.’
If my tattoos might be erased, it wouldn’t hurt to go through my inventory and sort things out.
And since I’d just realized I lost my old belongings from Daydream Inc., I should also take stock of what I still had.
Tak.
I reached into my inventory tattoo and started pulling out items, laying them out on the table one by one.
‘Most of them are still intact.’
Everything except items from the company was intact, but the Bloodbathtub isn’t here either… Ah, that had been in the bathroom too. So, it was gone.
Even the company-issued special equipment was still perfectly fine.
Among them were things I hadn’t made myself—some were gifts.
“Oh.”
I pulled out a tiny black button.
…Assistant Manager Eun Haje’s comms button.
‘Could this be the button Section Chief Lee Jaheon was talking about?’
Hmm, it seemed like an invitation to stay in touch.
‘That’s thoughtful.’
I’d have to test it out once I got some vacation time. Smiling, I pocketed the button.
Then, past emergency rations, the Happy Maker, Bloodsucking Knife, Wrapper, and the Necronomicon…
I spotted the red button.
We Can Help! – ₩66,666,666
‘There’s no way he was talking about this button, right?’
This was something meant to be pressed only in a life-or-death emergency.
There was no reason to push it just because I had comfortably settled into my new job.
Absentmindedly, I placed it on the table.
‘Almost done.’
There was barely anything left inside my tattoo inventory… Oh, wait. One more thing.
A paper bag with a theme park mascot printed on it emerged.
Inside… was a dragon-shaped churro.
[Blue Soda Churros]
Wow.
‘I can’t even remember when I got this.’
Didn’t I sell one to a Disaster Management Bureau agent, then kept the rest?
Still, since I had stored it in my inventory tattoo, it hadn’t gone bad.
I was about to place it on the table when I got a strange feeling and took a closer look.
Previously unreadable text was now legible.
A Taste of Bliss
A Healthy Snack for Children
A healthy snack, huh.
‘…Is it safe to eat?’
Well, Braun did allow me some candy.
And he did tell me to eat properly!
‘If I erase my tattoos, it might go bad. I might as well eat it now while I still can.’
It’d be a waste otherwise.
‘Alright.’
I bit into the churro.
The crisp, popping texture was reminiscent of cheap junk food, but it melted in my mouth and went down easily.
And then.
And then—
“~~!!”
Something surged up from my throat.
Splish, splish, splish!
Dark blue water began pouring out of my mouth.
The salty scent of seawater filled the air.
“…!! ~!!”
It gushed out uncontrollably, flooding the talk show’s waiting room floor.
I—I couldn’t breathe!
I couldn’t breathe!!
‘W-What the hell—’
What kind of healthy snack was this, you goddamn—! No, no cursing! But what the hell do I—
No. Oxygen was running out. My mind was going blank. I was going to d-die—
…
‘That thing.’
We Can Help.
With the last of my strength, I slammed my hand onto the table.
My fingers fumbled desperately through the scattered items until—
The red button.
“~!!”
I wildly flailed my arm, slamming my palm down on it.
Water streamed from my eyes, nose, and ears.
‘S-Someone, help—’
And then.
BEEEEEEP!
A deafening alarm exploded inside my head.
EMERGENCY CALL CONFIRMED
And my consciousness was wrenched away.
– Supervisor Kim Soleum.
“……”
– Supervisor Kim Soleum.
GASP—!!
What the ever-loving FUCK!
I jolted upright—
Or at least, I thought I did.
The world was pitch black.
……
There was nothing. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t feel. No touch. No smell. No sound. Nothing. Nothing! There’s nothing at all—
– Are you awake?
“…!!”
A familiar voice resonated in my head.
It was…
“…Squad Leader Lee Jaheon?”
– Yes.
And at that moment—
THUD!!
The entire world shook.
‘W-What the hell?!’
– Please hold on a moment.
A few seconds later—
Suddenly, my vision returned.
I saw… my waiting room, half-flooded with water.
The same scene I’d seen just before losing consciousness.
But I wasn’t seeing it directly.
It felt like I was watching through someone else’s eyes.
Like a CCTV feed, floating in front of me……
“……!”
The view shifted, scanning its surroundings.
The angle changed as if checking its own limbs.
My wrist tattoos flashed into view.
…That was my body.
Someone else was controlling my body!
– Moving now.
And my vision started walking.
Huh. Huh—?!
‘Hold on, don’t tell me—’
“W-Wait a second. Squad Leader, are you moving my body right now?”
– Yes.
I swallowed hard.
“…Was this triggered by the ‘We Can Help’ button?”
– Yes.
“……”
Wait a second.
Wait just one damn second!
The ‘We Can Help’ button—bought from an alien shop—had summoned Section Chief Lee Jaheon?!
“Squad Leader.”
I swallowed again.
“…Are you, by any chance, an alien from the Space Shopping Mall?”
– ? Yes.
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!