[Ah, fantastic. We now have one more adorable teddy bear.]
[Isn’t this wonderful? A guest who even generates additional value! Let’s give a big round of applause to our dear ‘Happy Ending Teddy’!]
WOOOOOOO!!!
The teddy bear trembled slightly before bowing happily to the crowd.
And at this moment…
[Now, let’s move on to the next segment : Q&A!]
Braun cupped one hand over his speaker, as if listening.
[Are you there? My friend!]
This is it!
I shot up from my seat in the audience, raising my hand high.
Gasps erupted from those seated around me.
And above my head—
A glowing sign lit up.
Tell Braun’s Friend
All About It!
[For the next 100 seconds, my friend here will ask the audience for their thoughts on the show or any fun questions! Those who give great answers will win fabulous prizes—so let’s participate! Now then…]
A digital clock appeared on Braun’s TV face.
[Starting now!]
Whoosh.
Hands shot up across the audience.
I pointed at myself, looking mildly bewildered.
“Wait, you’re all raising your hands without even hearing my introduction or question…?”
Laughter.
“Ah, you’re rushing because there’s a time limit? I, see… al-ri-ght… then…”
I deliberately dragged out my words agonizingly slowly.
The laughter grew louder.
Good.
“First question: What was the absolute most boring moment of this show?”
[FRIEND!!]
“A moment so dull you thought you could do a better job yourself?!”
Braun’s perfectly-timed reaction triggered more scattered bursts of laughter.
From the front row—where people were still drenched in the blood of the transformed guest—some audience members enthusiastically took off their raincoats and waved them.
I hurried over to them, microphone in hand.
“Now.”
[Oooooh!]
Laughter erupted again. I deliberately looked at the audience member with an expression of deep betrayal, as if asking, How could you say that?!, before smoothly transitioning to the next question.
Perhaps because the previous segment had been so entertaining, the audience’s reaction far exceeded my expectations.
It was almost hypnotic.
‘This is kinda… fun?’
For some reason, I felt a little exhilarated.
The 100 seconds passed in an instant, and just as we were nearing the final moments, the microphone was passed to an audience member.
“If you could make one request to this talk show, what would it be?”
I excitedly called out the question, and the audience enthusiastically shouted back.
“I want to take that teddy bear home!”
Ah.
“You can’t.”
……
Silence fell over the audience.
And the stage.
“……”
Why did I say that? No—damage control first.
I quickly raised my eyebrows, making it seem like I had deliberately given a curt response. Then, with a knowing nod, I added,
“Our dear guest, Mr. Teddy Bear, says they don’t want a serious relationship with a busy, overworked professional who has no time for them.”
“What?!”
The ‘Happy Ending Teddy’ frantically waved its tiny arms from the sofa, as if protesting. I solemnly nodded at the bear’s reaction and relayed the message to the audience.
“They really don’t want to.”
“…?!”
The teddy bear toppled over. The audience burst into laughter.
“Just kidding. They’d be delighted to go with you.”
“Wow! That’s amazing! A natural death has always been my dream.”
“For real? Me too.”
Grinning, I high-fived the audience member.
Phew. Crisis averted.
‘Next!’
I quickly turned to find the next person to ask a question.
And then—
I froze.
The next person to raise their hand the fastest—was wearing an all-too-familiar outfit.
“…!!”
I stared blankly.
A faceless office worker in a suit and mask.
‘…A Field Exploration Team member from Daydream Inc.’
My old workplace.
And among them…
‘…The guys from D-squad.’
Three people I knew, sitting together.
How were all three of them here? No—D-squad should only have Chief Lizard left, right? So how…?
[Ding! Time’s up!]
Ah.
[Now! Friend, let me ask you. Who is today’s MVP audience member?]
“Today’s MVP is…”
I pointed at the last audience member.
“Our guest’s new adopter!”
“Ooooooh!”
[Hahaha! Wishing you a happy natural death!]
The chosen audience member sat back down happily, receiving a beautifully wrapped gift.
The ‘Happy Ending Teddy’ was staring at them intently.
“……”
With that, my segment came to a close. As I stepped offstage, I was met with the applause of the audience.
My heart was pounding.
‘I did it.’
And just then—
[Now, let’s introduce our next guest. Ah, but before that…]
[We’ll be right back after these messages!]
Noooooo!
The audience booed and cheered as Braun laughed and waved them into the mid-show ad break.
Phew!
[Mr. Soleum!]
Braun’s TV screen displayed a massive grinning emoticon as he approached me backstage. He swapped to an awestruck face and held up a hand for a high-five.
Then, as if he were truly proud, he patted my shoulder.
[Friend. You did an amazing job! I can’t believe that was your first time hosting a segment. That was a truly impressive 100 seconds. Ah, I’m simply in awe…]
“I don’t think it was that great…”
[No! This isn’t flattery or empty praise—it’s genuine admiration. You’re starting to feel passion for this show, and that’s making you even better at it.]
That was… a good thing.
“Um, by the way.”
I smiled.
“…There were some familiar faces in the audience. Would it be alright if I went to chat with them? Just for a bit during the break. It won’t take long……”
[Ah.]
The host paused.
And then—
[Of course. It’s break time, after all. Feel free to chat.]
Whew.
I got permission! What a relief.
“Alright, then—”
[Wait.]
A hand gripped my shoulder.
[Just one thing. Do not say anything that might make the audience feel out of place… Oh, and don’t forget. Even when the cameras are off, the audience still sees you as part of the show.]
“…I understand.”
The TV host’s face loomed over me.
[You’ll keep that in mind, won’t you?]
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
[Excellent!]
I took a step back, retreating from the host.
Then, I descended from the stage, making my rounds among the audience with the staff, checking in as if ensuring everything was running smoothly.
And finally… I arrived at a familiar spot, where recognizable masks had gathered.
Familiar masks.
“Roe…?”
“…Assistant Manager.”
There they were—Section Chief Lee Jaheon, Assistant Manager Eun Haje… and even Supervisor Park Minseong.