The moment my body stepped into that portal, it was like being tossed around my bed by my drunk father as he slapped me in the face while he yelled where his beer had gone.
It was horrific—all that adrenaline and joy from fighting the Ratmen and gaining a skill that suited me without losing the sword skill made me feel a bit bitter.
Woosh!
The sound I heard before my eyes became clear was like the crackling of fireworks and the clap of thunder mashed together and distorted before I was thrown out like a dirty rag that Mother didn’t want anymore.
Bang!
My face hit the concrete floor, or was it marble? Pardon my upbringing, but some things are just unknown to me… 𝑜𝓋𝔩xt.𝔠𝚘𝚖
It looked expensive anyway and was now smeared with blood and snot from my nose—shit! I think my nose might be broken…
Wait… who the fuck is that!?
A strange image showed on the shiny floor with a mixture of black, white and silver colours.
The face was handsome!
Like those supermodels that wear only their underpants and women act like they aren’t interested but secretly love seeing those ads and checking their crotch and bodies!
Despite blood oozing down the guy’s nose, his ocean-blue eyes were deep and piercing, almost making me fall into his reflection and never return.
This guy who must be close beside me is at least a 10/10, with perfect blonde hair, not too dark or light and no blemishes on his face!
His lips look so damn soft… I am so jealous of my cracked ass lips that sting each time the weather is cold!
[…]
“Haha, handsome guy, how are you—” I lifted my head to speak to the handsome guy…
But there was only a space—the sky was filled with stars despite being daylight, while the walls were huge white stones with golden rings.
It felt like those Greek pantheons that I saw once in this annoying movie that my sister liked, where he fights as a gladiator but dies in the end to join his wife and kid…
Honestly, the movie annoyed me at points…
Ah, but the smartly little prick that stabs him before the last fight dies, so it was a good watch overall…
“Let’s explore!”
[…]
Somehow each time I spoke for the past few minutes since enjoying those soft breasts in my dream, it felt like someone was watching over my shoulder and breathing down my neck with a sigh at my every action!
So…
My body quickly twisted around to catch the little bastard!
Nothing…
[…]
“Forget it, probably the wind…”
[!!!]
Off I go.
I observed this place and found it boring—from the strange portal, they spat me out like I was the plague. There were a long set of marble stairs leading up towards a small hut on the top of the hill and another set of portals just past it.
Oh… there seemed to be a place to eat and sleep too.
“Maybe people stay in the dungeon longer, but what about their real lives? A little strange…”
Slowly I walked up the steps—each time my bare feet slapped on the marble, it felt like I was defiling them with the dirty rat water…
They should have given me some new shoes, right? Haha!
I wonder how much money I have from this…
To replace my shoes, I might need to grind more Ratmen.
“Such a cruel world…”
Since coming out of combat, I found that my body was more durable—those bonus attributes seemed to have worked wonders.
Now I can walk up all these pointless stairs without getting out of breath, but my feet hurt…
[…]
Oh?
What is that?
A sexy blonde older sister with huge tits spotted! Much better than that flat goddess.
[!!!!!!!!!!]
The moment I thought that somehow, it felt like the surrounding world cracked, and everything ended for a moment. I even saw my departed grandpa, who wished me well and always said to use a condom with crazy women…
Strange…
Was my grandpa a player?
Don’t do that, Grandpa, I’ll tell Grandma, and she’ll beat your ass with a steel bat… you already have haemorrhoids, you know? Imagine…
Hemeroids in heaven, and your ass is swollen; what a horrible future; you have my pity and prayers, Grandpa!
[(It runs in the fucking family?!)]
“Welcome to the Eternia Mart!” A soft voice sounded as my feet seemed unwittingly approached without fixing my outfit!
Yet no mind! This older sister didn’t snort or call me garbage yet, even though I stink… look smelly and have an ugly face!
“Well, you sure are extremely handsome, but you seem to have suffered badly at the hands of the Ratmen.”
“Would you rent the Eternia Inn’s shower and clothing service? It costs 1 gold for a new basic outfit and is fully clean! Cheap and fast!”
I paid the fee with a refreshed face—thankfully, the coins were all stored in the inventory but didn’t take a slot.
Like the sword, I merely needed to press them—it asked me how much! Ahh~ viva money! I don’t see a minus sign; this isn’t my overdraft!!!!
By the way… I have Fifteen gold coins!!!! Rich… Not really, but like… isn’t this $1,500!? Almost a month of work at my part-time job!
“Sorry about that… Two gold, right?” Ooooh! I didn’t stutter and got a glimpse of her nice tits—why was she so amazing, and the goddess was pathetic.
Goddess, are you a fake?
Maybe the true goddess is here? Look, her ass is like a plump, juicy peach… you are… plastic surgery goddess!
“Ugh…”
This time, when the world ended, I saw Grandma…
She scolded me for escaping reality and ignoring the cute goddess sitting on my shoulder in the small pixie size with a nice set of breasts and a soft, squishy ass.
[You….]
Oh no… I can’t hear or see her anymore… get away… angry fly!
While playing around with the new female flying rat that followed me, the beautiful big sister gave me a strange key and giggled at me while peeking at my shoulder a few times.
“This is the key, the room is just over there, and all instructions will be placed under the items for use. I will bring over a new set of clothes after you are done, okay?”
“Then maybe you can do real purchasing for the next floor?”
Ah!? Does she dislike this rat? Okay… where is the fly spray!
Somehow didn’t this older sister’s eyes become dollar signs? Ah… I’ve had boys… she’s a gold digger!
[I will end you, you know that, right?]
Yes Ma’am…
Gold digger or not…
I’d tap it.
[I am the goddess!!!!!!!!]
“Heh…”
Ignoring the fly’s strange buzzing and little high-pitched voice on my shoulder, I dashed to the Eternia Inn and entered the room.
My key said 1
Because I am number 1, Mwahahah!
No… it’s on the first floor…
I am not that delusional.
[Who are you talking to?]
Handsome guy… How can I be handsome like you?
[(I hate the high that newbies experience from levelling up, it’s worse than fucking cocaine!)]
[(What fly… bastard…. just you wait…]
[(What plastic surgery!)]
[(My tits and ass changed to suit your desire because you molested me and made me impure!)]
…